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August 12, 2021 – Teens and Grief

August 12, 2021 /

Today I am going to be an expert on something that I have no business claiming. To make things doubly worse, this is the area that my wife excels in and she is in Texas. Just like most things in my life, we are here now so lets see what we can do.

It was 4AM, when my wife called. As you would expect, I was asleep. It took me a couple of seconds to process that Frank had died. You would hope that in these situations, the person on the phone would provide some level of comfort and assurance (that would be me giving it). Again, another thing that I am not good at. In my defense, I was half asleep and shocked as well as being not my strong suit.

Being the ‘do everything now’ person that she is, she wanted to me to wake up the boys and give them the message immediately. Which I did. The hour between 4-5AM was kind of a blur. There was silence, then praying, then my kids went in two different directions. One claimed that Grandpa would want a party and so we should celebrate and the other shut down and started crying.

Olivia called again around 5AM and we all talked together for a couple of minutes. After the call, I suggested to the boys that I make breakfast since we were all up. My thought was trying to keep us all together so no one gets too low. Surprisingly, they both wanted to go back to bed. I kind of wandered around trying to figure out what my next steps should be.

While they were sleeping, I hatched a plan that we were going to get out of the house together. Unfortunately because we are in quarantine our options are extremely limited but we could drive and we could be outside. My goals were to keep us together and provide an opportunity to grieve and share and open up away from electronic distractions

My first thought was to go to the beach since it was going to be over 100 degrees here. When I posed the idea to my son, he said that we should go to Bend (east and not west to the beach). I started thinking and I also wanted to go that direction. I had yet to see what the results of the wildfires last year.

Post Labor day weekend last year, millions of Oregonians experienced the wildfires. For several thousand (in this area of the state), their lives were shattered. Kind of like ours were yesterday. We saw a town that used to exist and 75% was roads, slabs and foundations. On the positive side clean-up was ongoing and new buildings were in various stages of completion.

I think that this is a good story to make a corollary. Grieving is a process. The acute event is bad but we have to know that the damage is slowly repaired over time by taking deliberate steps. I can’t just take one day off and everyone will feel better and be OK. I was around 20 when my Grandfather died. I still thought about him for years afterward. He never saw me graduate college or get married or see his great grandchild for whom he was named.

We ended the day in Central Oregon, explored some caves and made a list of new things that we wanted to do when we came back. We stopped and looked at things I always wanted to do but never seemed to have the time. We listened to music that we thought represented Frank or that we knew he liked. By the time it was dark, everything was a little bit better.

End Your Programming Routine: This was a win for me. I started the day not knowing how to relate to each child in the way that was best for them. By the time that it was over, I think that we all felt that we took a step in the right direction. We all feel remorse that we didn’t have a chance to say goodbye or one last thing. God willing, he hears us now.

August 11, 2021 – Frank Ojeda Jr

August 11, 2021 /

There is no uncertainty in my mind about what I am going to write about today. That is my father-in-law, Frank Ojeda Jr. He died last night as a result of pneumonia. No politics or strong opinions today, just a eulogy. Most people probably wouldn’t care to hear stories about someone that they don’t know but I think that there can be some lessons.

We have so many pictures, I am sure that we will be digging through them in the coming weeks, these were some of the first ones I found.

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How does one go about writing about someone when they pass on? I used to be the kind of person that wanted to grieve silently. Now I am the kind of person that likes to share how I felt. I guess that helps me justify my emotions in the first place. I guess I will begin at the end and then jump around from there.

For nearly as long as I have known Frank, health has been a background theme. I think that he was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes about the time my wife and I graduated college twenty four years ago. Six years ago, Frank received a kidney from his sister Gloria. That all was going fine but in some ways, I feel like we have been on borrowed time with him.

He had a big heart. Being in a family of twelve kids, family was the primary activity in life. He was the first person people would call if they wanted or needed something, be it a favor or money. I am not kidding that this family is so large that we have a difficult time getting together because we need a venue for the size of a wedding. The in-laws side is nearly as large as well.

Then, he had his own kids and grandkids. Frank liked to do as most grandparents do and create chaos for their parents. One time he drove six hours with my son to buy a go cart. I didn’t even know that was happening until I got home from work. And, the go-cart is still sitting in my driveway. He was always there with a job for them to do or a fundraiser.

After the kids were out of the house, Frank got big into umpiring softball. Sometimes we would go to softball games and watch two teams that we had no affiliation with just to see him umpire a game. There were several father’s days where that was the case for sure. Unfortunately, he was unable to continue that passion as he lost some sight due to complications with diabetes. These were mostly high school girls teams, but he could command a presence dealing with unruly fans and coaches.

I’ll tell you that Frank could tell some stories. He was always able to come up with campfire/bedtime/ghost stories at the drop of a hat. A lot of the time he claimed that they were real. I am not saying they weren’t but I don’t think I have led a life that is half as exciting. Here a couple headlines Evading a Tornado, Softball Game Ends in Team Fistfight, Followed Home by a Cow at Night and Hitchhiking to California as a Teenager.

Frank shared something special with my son Elijah. They both had birthdays on July 26. For 15 years, he has been getting the short end of our birthday parties as they have tended to be focused on Elijah. We just came out of birthday week, but for the longest time it was July 24-28 for four generations of birthdays at one setting.

When my wife and I first met, she described him as the kind of guy that ex-boyfriends would come over to talk to. Trying to put myself in that position, I don’t know if I would quite go that far but kind and empathetic would be good descriptors.

He liked cars, food, 60s-80s music, naps, TV, sports and most of all being around family. I learned a lot from Frank not so much on the hard skills side, but the soft side. I won’t say that everything was good or worked but I could see some of the techniques he used and go from there.

End Your Programming Routine: My sadness today is really for my wife and kids. There is that don’t tell mom and dad bond I know I had with my grandparents. And for my wife, he was the peacemaker and patriarch of the larger family. I am going to miss a role model for giving and compassion which are areas that are difficult for me. We have a bit of a road ahead.

August 10, 2021 – Covid Strikes Again

August 10, 2021 /

Despite my opinion of how people and media are reacting to Covid, it doesn’t mean that I am a jerk. I found out today that my son and I were exposed to Covid over the weekend. I have been very open about my experience and I am not worried about it in the least. That being said, I don’t want to potentially expose other people until I can confirm I am safe.

That means that we are again in quarantine, at least until we get a negative confirmation. In some ways, this is going to be a good thing. We have some family health issues that called my wife out of state today for an undetermined length of time, likely at least until the end of August. My very own Father in Law is currently in the hospital as a result of pneumonia from Covid.

I am playing both roles (mom and dad) and there are a lot of activities still on the calendar before school starts. I was already planning on spending an hour and a half a day running my son back and forth for his summer job. So, this quarantine will at least help us get our footing as just us boys are home for a few weeks.

It will also help me focus on getting my roofing done. I think that I am a couple hours (4-6) hours from getting all of the shingling done. The downside is that the forecast is predicted to be in the hundreds again. If you know anything about roofing, you know that there is a sweet spot for temperature. You want warm enough for the shingles to be pliable and adhere together but when it gets too warm they start to tear easily and it gets really hot on the roof.

End Your Programming Routine: I may become erratic in the next couple of weeks. I am working around my normal work schedule and all the running around that I usually split with my wife. In addition, I am managing a high workload already plus I have a family vacation scheduled in a couple of weeks.

August 9, 2021 – Linux Mint, Learning and Relearning Stuff

August 9, 2021 /

I don’t have a good grasp on where I am going this week for a lot of reasons that I am not going to get completely into here. A part of it was that was that I have been working late and getting up early (for my job). I also worked all day Saturday and a half day Sunday. And when I wasn’t working I was gone for various social commitments. That always sort of fogs up whatever I want to accomplish here.

A few weeks back, I mentioned that I was experimenting with Linux. I solved my problem with why Unbuntu wasn’t loading. That was because I downloaded a 64 bit version and I was trying to launch it on 32bit hardware. After very little research, I saw that Linux Mint was still a recommended 32bit version and so I downloaded that. Low and behold, it worked. I could launch Linux from a thumb drive on my old (2005) computer.

Part of the reason that I wanted to mess around with this machine and Linux was to see if keeping this currently working computer was worth the space it was taking. Twice, I have pulled this machine out of the Tecnho-Junk (recycling) pile. To carry this experiment a little further, I decided to do a small upgrade. I wanted to spend as little as possible but improve the 2GB of RAM and 7GB of remaining hard drive space to give it the best chance of evaluation. So, I spent $30 for 4GB of Ram and a 320 GB hard-drive. I figured the worst cast scenario is that I could use the hard drive in my other computer as a backup, so I only risked $10 for the RAM which I may not have needed anyway.

Through some research, I learned that the most RAM a 32bit system could utilize was 4GB. I also learned that the difference between XP Home and Professional was that Home was 32bit and Professional was 64bit. Therefore, the hardware that was put in the box when it was built was the limiting factor. Even though I had four slots for RAM, My machine was only utilizing 3GB. It seems like another limitation that I have is that I can’t utilize the max amount anyway.

Next I had to decide what to do with the new hard drive. I wanted the dual boot option to go into XP or Linux. Maybe it was the price or I was just ignorant it had been a long time since I ordered a hard drive. I ordered an IDE hard drive instead of an ATA hard drive. I had to scratch my head with Master/Slave jumpers and cable position conundrum (It has probably been 15 years since I dealt with that stuff).

People newer to this arena have no idea how much easier it is than it used to be. After getting the drive physically configured to work, the drive needs to be formatted so that it can get software installed. In XP, that required putting the operating system CD in. In my case, my disk was SP2 and my computer was running SP3 so of course the CD would not read and home edition didn’t have a built in ‘repair’ option on boot up. Fortunately, my XP was working so I was able to format the drive from XP.

Once the hard-drive was formatted, then I could install Linux from the USB drive. My first problem was trying to figure out how to partition the hard drive in Linux. It supposedly works in NTSB format but it wanted to use EXT4 format. I muddled my way through that and then I was on to installing Mint which went pretty smoothly.

After I got everything installed. There were about 20 operating system updates that I could run, which I did.

So… It works and it is not too slow. So far, what I have noticed is that things are slightly different than Windows. Not a lot, but enough that I don’t know what I am doing. For instance, HP doesn’t directly make any printer drivers and my printer is supposedly compatible. But I can’t (yet) figure out how to find the printer on the network and get it to print even though I have the IP address. It seems like the hardliners are into command based help which is all foreign to me as well so I get lost in all of the vocabulary

End Your Programming Routine: I have also noticed that some of the software I run like Myki password manager is 64 bit only. There may come some limitations with the age of the hardware that it might not make sense to keep this thing around eventually. But I am going to keep messing around with it for the heck of it for now

August 6, 2021 – 1984 3:1

August 6, 2021 /

This chapter was kind of interesting. It is about Winston’s preliminary stint in Jail. I say that because there has been no sort of adjudication or sentencing. There is a parade of minor characters throughout the book that suddenly appear as well but we have no indication of Julia’s disposition.

I would also say that there is a bit of foreshadowing into Winston’s future. With the extreme, no holds barred violence I suspect that his future is going to be pretty nasty.

We continue to see the same themes built upon in the recent chapters. Winston had made his choices and has accepted his fate to some degree. I think that we have all had those moments where we have done something that has a consequence that we really didn’t want to suffer. When caught, we have already accepted that there will be a degree of pain or discomfort but we knew it was coming.

Seeing is Believing- Remember back in 2:8 when I said that it was hard to believe that Obrien lived as a high party member but was also a high level traitor? There is an old saying that “If it looks to good to be true, then it probably is” is pretty applicable. It appears that Obrien was playing Winston so that he would eventually reach a point of no return, which he did.

No Regrets- I think that Winston is understandably worried about his future. I suspect it is the fear of the unknown like how long is this going to take and how much pain am I going to have to endure. Once the truth is internalized and accepted, I am talking about human freedom here, then I don’t think that it really matters about going back to the old life even as good as it was at the end. So said another way, Winston has no desire to not accept the punishment understanding that there is no hope or freedom in his prior way.

I know that today’s concepts are a little cliché. But, I think put into context of the story, they make sense at this point in the analysis. Also, there isn’t a lot more to take out of the revolving door of character in, gets roughed up, character leaves. It just re-enforces that this is really happening and it seems to happen to most people.

End Your Programming Routine: We are about to see what happens when someone fights the system using the rules of the system. Just like I talked about on Tuesday with the five monkeys, this is a no win situation. I am not sure if I would have done anything different than Winston did. Here I am writing about these kinds of things routinely and in a public way. Who knows, maybe some day they will come for me?

August 5, 2021 – If I Only Had a Desk

August 5, 2021 /

As I was milling around trying to figure out what I wanted to write about today, I was looking at a laser sight that I have had ready to mount for over a year. My next planned range trip was supposed to be in March and now it is August. So what I am saying is that I am going to skip ‘Tacticool’ Thursday.

Today, I am going to wrap up the office project with some numbers. I am deep into re-roofing my shed at the moment. That means that I am slowly moving stuff into the office and tinkering. What I am trying to say is that I am moving on here so it is time to get the results published.

What is currently missing is a desk, which is on order and a couch which is upstairs but we need to get a replacement. If I have all my plans come true, then I will build a table to fit behind the couch where the stereo system will sit. The rear speakers would be mounted. I am on the lookout for a inexpensive flatscreen TV that will sit behind the door and I could also project from the computer onto it. Regardless of all that, as soon as my desk arrives, I can move in.

Below is a breakdown of my hours on the project.

ActualEstimateDescription
24clear out holiday area
22remove west floor system, cleanup
42remove south side drywall
44install sheeting
88build floor
48frame east wall
48frame west wall
3.58frame south wall
48frame north wall
198electrical
9.58insulation
248interior drywall
88paint
3.58exterior drywall
148install door
50finishes/trim
118.5100.00

I talked about my expected overages earlier so that is not a surprise. It shouldn’t be a revelation but I am a little shocked at how much time the finish work took versus the overall build. By that I mean sheetrock, paint, trim. In my first vision, I wasn’t even going to do any of that.

Now, here is the real shocker to me. The little things that add up. What if I put down an finished floor? What if I didn’t have fasteners or a baseboard heater laying around or didn’t buy a used door or common lumber? I suspect that the cost could have been double what it was.

3/6/21$60Door
3/30/21Monmouth Hardware$6.44Electrical boxes
4/4/21Lowes$49.99Wire
4/11/21Home Depot$64.97Lumber, Felt
4/11/21Home Depot$69.03PT lumber
4/17/21Home Depot$156.50Insulation, screws
4/18/21True Value$19.10Lockset, shims
4/23/21Rickreall Bargain Shed$150Plywood
5/3/21Rickreall Bargain Shed$110Framing lumber
5/9/21Home Depot$56.60Lumber, Insulation
5/16/21Home Depot$128.18Insulation
5/21/21Amazon$15.10Coax
5/29/21Home Depot177.96Drywall, Electrical
6/8/21True Value27.4Adhesive, Primer
6/13/21One Stop$17.18Joint tape, snips
6/15/21Home Depot$91.24texture, painting supplies
7/5/21Lowes$2.68Caulk
7/21/15Amazon$19.76Router bit
$1,222.13

Places where I cut corners on the cost were

  1. Reused existing drywall
  2. Reused 12/2 cable, outlets and etc
  3. Recycled door, heater, light fixture
  4. Paint was on hand with the exception of drywall primer
  5. No finished floor

The one place that I splurged at minimal cost. It was largely labor in the electrical category.

  1. Surround sound wiring
  2. Wired Phone, Data, TV and FM signal

Overall, I am happy with the outcome and feel reasonably satisfied with the execution. I can always do better but it takes practice, analysis and a plan. One thing that I wish I did better was drywall finishing. My joints and corners are rough. If I was doing this professionally, I would have to pay someone to feel good about the results without a lot more practice or instruction.

End Your Programming Routine: I think one of the intangibles with how I have been working is that the project is literally right next to me. The number of times things came to mind either fiddling around with something or planning is not factored into the hours estimate. If this were a job, conceivably more time per task may have taken because I wouldn’t have the luxury of seeing it all day long. I am looking forward to moving in within the next few weeks.

August 4, 2021 – Replacing a Rear Derailleur on a Bicycle

August 4, 2021 /

Don’t ask me how this happened. My oldest son got a new bike and so he handed down his old bike to his brother. On the inaugural ride, he came back saying the chain fell off when in reality the chain was bent and the derailleur was broken in half.

What I have learned in this pandemic world is that not only are bike parts scarce, but upgrades are expensive. Sometimes upgrading parts cost more than the entire bike would cost new. Fortunately, this repair only cost about $30 and I could get the parts so I went ahead and did it.

I plan on talking more about bicycles in the future because it is something that I am interested in and I have a old, but very nice bike that I would like to make some changes to. A story for another time but I want to make it more comfortable to ride as it is a very aggressive configuration.

Tools required:

  • Metric Allen keys (3 and 5mm)
  • chain breaker
  • Metric nutdrivers or wrenches or adjustable wrench (8-10mm)
  • cable cutter
  • needlenose pliers
  1. Break the chain. I will have a picture later in the sequence to show what a chain breaker looks like.
  2. Remove the derailleur. First you must disconnect the shifting cable which is one nut. Then, the derailleur can be removed which is also one bolt.
  3. Replace the derailleur by tightening the same bolt as you removed on the old one.
  4. In this case, the new derailleur was a slightly different configuration and the existing shifting cable was too short. I had to re-string a new cable from the shifter
5

5. Roughly tighten the new shifter cable

6. Check the new chain for length against the old chain. If necessary, cut the new chain to length.

7. Reconnect the chain. In my case, I bought a new one and it comes with a special link to make this process easier. But it can be done by re-inserting the pin that was removed in step one. It is a bit tricky and may require some extra hands.

8. Finally, you will have to tune your shifting. That is beyond the scope of this post today. But this operation is best done with a bike stand. I dont have one personally, but there are several ones throughout my city. There are also a number of Youtube videos that are pretty good on how to do that.

End Your Programming Routine: This took me about an hour to complete. Now that we no longer have any local bike shops, this would have taken days at the shop and hours going back and forth to get it done. Generally speaking having bike work is fairly inexpensive but I like knowing that I can do stuff if I want to.

August 3, 2021 – Five Monkeys and the Pole

August 3, 2021 /

I couldn’t substantiate whether this story was true or not. But it is easy enough to find through internet stories that we could call it a parable. It goes something like this.

Five monkeys were in a cage with a bunch of bananas at the top of a pole. As soon as one of the monkeys started climbing to pole, he would get blasted with water until they all refused to climb the pole. Next one of the monkeys was replaced. Once the new monkey started climbing the pole, the other four monkeys would pull the new monkey down preventing him from attempting to get the bananas. Then another monkey is replaced and the same behavior is emulated. Finally, all the monkeys are new and have never been sprayed yet they have been trained to stop any monkey from climbing the pole without a real consequence.

This story seems to be mostly used in the business space to talk about office culture and to inspire to challenge the status quo. But, I can’t help to think about how we are culturally behaving as a result of Covid-19. Call it cancel culture or public shaming but people are no longer allowed to hold individual opinions that deviate from the cultural norm. And when I say cultural norm, I do mean an ignorant, non-fact based, science is settled kind of way.

The idea that science is settled is actually anti-science. There are a finite number of laws in science. Laws are provable by math and measurement. A theory is when data supports a hypothesis but it is not entirely provable or there is not enough data to support universal adoption as a law. Neither of these terms are codified because this by it’s definition is science; even laws should be continuously challenged to ensure that they are still laws.

Let’s get back to Covid and our culture. We are bombarded with radio, TV and quasi news stories about how the vaccines are safe, do our part, etc. I would call it a propaganda campaign. Admittedly, it must be pretty safe (for now) because a lot of people have gotten the vaccine. But as a scientist, I have a responsibility to challenge the accepted norm because the only way to prove a hypothesis is to test it.

My analysis of the situation is that we have the majority of society that are not qualified as scientist and failed to do their own research. They have abdicated any level of investigation to celebrities or media types rather than challenge the status quo. Given that what I believe, people have the right to be ignorant and even stupid as long as their right does not infringe on mine. In this case, we have people that are now verbally shaming and using non-qualified belief to pull the monkey down from the poll.

These were all memes that I saw yesterday that pertain to the Monkeys and the Poll parable. You can watch my Governor as a science authority within the first five minutes. This wasn’t the clip I was looking for but I think it is a perfect illustration of the propaganda campaign.

Unfortunately, I don’t think that there is much we can do about it. My best suggestion is to be aware of the world that we are living in. Pick your battles because we are not going to be able to fight them all and only the ones worth fighting. Let’s keep our calm so that we don’t make enemies out of potential allies.

End Your Programming Routine: One time I remember in seventh grade science that we had two people holding a string on each end tight. The amount of energy it took for one person to pull the string away from the other was significant. But when a third person pushes in the middle of the string, it takes that much less energy. My point is that we are not going to solve this problem using the strategies of the status quo. We are going to have to address the issue from the side where it is much easier to move the string.

August 2, 2021 – The Durability of Polycarbonate

August 2, 2021 /

Recently, I have started having some obligations at 4AM. It means that I need to be ready to rock and roll, that is talk and lead a meeting first thing in the morning. It is not easy to roll out of bed and be ready to go. To be honest, it kind-of throws off my whole day because even going to bed at 9PM, that is only 6 and a half hours of sleep. I can never get to bed that early.

Last week was a difficult week not only taking the days off but also coming back into this early morning situation. That was partially why I took the week off, I am just a little bit out of sorts. But it was also a transition week where I hung the office door and am ready to move in, just waiting for my new desk to arrive. I need to fix the roof on the garden shed before the weather changes.

I have all of the data put together for one final post on the office project. That should come soon. But this weekend I started tearing off the roof of the shed. Last October, a blustery wind came in and ripped my flashing at the transition between the composition roof and the clear polycarbonate. I got a tarp on the roof the next day and there it has sat waiting for better weather and more time.

I didn’t get a picture of it, but for some reason, there are two holes in the polycarbonate roofing. So, not only did I need to replace the flashing, which means re-roofing, but also the clear panels. are clearly showing some serious sun damage.

I put this on in 2017. This is five years of wear. It appears that everywhere polycarbonate touches wood, the panel has become black. My speculation is that the tannins in the wood are reacting with the plastic. These clear panels come it two flavors, polycarbonate or PVC. In theory, polycarbonate should be more durable than the PVC, it is also more expensive.

You can also see the tarp line. It looks like that has caused some blackening as well as sagging likely from excessive heat. I also have to change all of the custom fillers because the panel design for both polycarbonate and PVC panels. So far, I am not super impressed by the durability. If I was going to consider changing the panels periodically, it may have been worth going to the cheaper panel but for now, I am am going to go back to polycarbonate.

Another mistake I made the first time was leaning the panels on the side. They sat that way for probably a month and bent out of shape (permanently). You can see this in the picture as well. This time I will take more care in the panel storage so they don’t start our warped.

End Your Programming Routine: I am thinking that this should be a heavy weekend project, so maybe 24 hours or so. I spent three hours tearing off the three tab yesterday. I will probably pick at it when I have time this week. With any luck, I will have this done by the beginning of next week.

July 23, 2021 – 1984 2:10

July 23, 2021 /

This is the last chapter in section 2. That also means that we are moving into section 3 which will be a tone change and the consequences to all of Winston’s actions. In fact, this chapter has Julia and Winston caught by the Thought Police.

Did you think that Winston was going to get away with his treason? I guess the question that I have is why did they wait so long before they arrested the pair? I suppose that it was to build suspense in the book as well as a chance to explain a lot of the whys for the 1984 society. It is ironic that the moment Winston figures everything out that it is immediately over.

This chapter was pretty light on concepts. If I was going to be pushed into giving away the book, what I would say is the following.

Freedom is found when you are not attached to ideology. Winston’s revelation is that the future is the Proles. That is because they are not spending all of their thoughts and energy defending the system that they have created. When we look at the application of that idea in our own lives, we can probably find aspects that would overlay this type of concept particularly politics but also other beliefs like religion.

End Your Programming Routine: I am keeping it short today. In fact I am going to be gone a couple of days next week as it is birthday week. I broke my political dichotomy a number of years ago. So, Winston’s statement rings pretty true to me. If you are reading this, you probably think more like me than not but it is a good reminder to not get wrapped up in this stuff.