Month: July 2020

July 31, 2020 – Got to do something, even if it is wrong

July 31, 2020 /

Remember back in high school English, one of the techniques to getting started writing was just to write something? I would say that it is much easier with a computer to just start going and then switch to something more on topic than when we used to have to write it out by hand. I never really did it much because it was so much more extra work, I would delay until I was ready.

Today is kind of one of those days. I wasn’t totally sure what I wanted to write about. However, I have been thinking about a phrase that my grandfather used to use. When it came to sort of a guessing situation, he used to say “We have got to do something, even if it is wrong”. That was his country wisdom way of saying we will figure it out when we need, if it is that important.

Being the analytical type, I prefer to look at all the data and weigh decisions based on factors such as cost, difficulty, potential risk and upside. Many decisions are not worth such analysis or all those factors are roughly the same. So, that is where you pick a direction and go and change course later if needed.

It is interesting that life can be both ways. It is us that picks a method of handling it. Part of me envies the free spirited type because I think that likely ends in a more self-fulfilled destination. My type picks a direction and never looks back because changing direction is too difficult. Hopefully you picked the right one.

Doing something is what I have been doing for the last year. I have been hoping that the right thing would come along if I was busy doing something else. It is why I have thrown myself into intense projects and at times have ignored job searches and business development at the same time. I am avoiding the pain of stepping backward. This strategy hasn’t proven to fully work out.

As a Christian, I keep telling myself that there is a plan, I am waiting for it to be revealed. But I can’t help but wonder if I was busy painting or hammering and totally missed the signs. My wife says that her friends are flirty with me all the time, I don’t really see it.

Despite all of that, this is Friday and it shouldn’t be a downer. What I am trying to get across is don’t sweat the small stuff and don’t get paralyzed by indecision. I am so grateful to have spent quality time with my grandfather. All the skills he taught me and to think that I am still dwelling on his phrases, you can’t buy that.

I have been getting up early to let the dog out and it has been a great time to get the day started and get my computer work done. Here is a few pictures of my puppy one month later.

July 30, 2020 – ‘Tacticool’ Thursday

July 30, 2020 /

I am sure that people that read this topic are frequently disappointed that this weekly segment has been week on the ‘Mall Ninja’ or even the hardcore gear scale. That is not really my intent, I do want to get more into gear and gadgets when I have a little more time to plan. But, it illustrates a point that far more important than a whizzbang, zombie laser is skills and objectives. Surf around YouTube and you can find people that make art or musical instruments with a machete. You can find people that dig a pool out of the ground with sticks and materials found around the site.

It is likely the case that with thirty other tools, that instrument could look 100% better or maybe last twice as long. The point remains that 90% of the objective is knowledge and desire and the remaining ten percent is the rest. We tend to get stuck in the ten percent and lose track of what we can do versus what we are able to do.

Growing up pre-internet, I got interested in building furniture. At that time, the only real consistent and available information that I was aware of was the ‘New Yankee Workshop‘. It definitely taught one approach to woodworking but I noticed a theme. Being sponsored by Delta/Porter-Cable, some of the projects were built to showcase specific tools rather than the tools complimenting the work. Of course, knowing nothing I thought it was the only way something could be accomplished. That lead to some dubious purchases early on.

One Christmas, I received a book called ‘The Encyclopedia of Woodworking’. When I first started reading through the pages I was really out of sorts and shocked because Norm didn’t do anything like what was being presented. The majority of the book was working with hand tools, saws, planes and chisels in the traditional way. My eyes were open to the possibility that there could be more than one way to do something.

Stay with me people… not every post is home improvement or woodworking related, I painting the background first. Back to ‘Tacticool’. The reason to do any of these things, have gear, etc is to have something to protect or worth using the gear for. Why would you want to bother searching for holsters and belts and making sure that your shirt doesn’t ride up if nothing could ever happen. It is a lot of extra hassle.

If you don’t have a family or friends or a desire for a better future, then preparing and training and learning is all a Red Dawn type fantasy. So, my last week was the usual marathon of birthdays and family gatherings (more about that some other time). Added to that was grieving for the loss of my wife’s uncle and the funeral preparations. I unplugged to be there where I was needed most.

Protecting what is important in your life is rarely guarding it with menace and force. It is being attentive to the needs of your spouse, children, friends and extended family first. It is imperative that those relationships are nurtured otherwise you will end up wiping down your rifles and counting ammunition alone. I am encouraging a change in mindset to define what is important and what it takes to keep those things safe. We will get to gear and firearms soon.

I also have another camping trip scheduled for next week but one way or another, my future is going to change. I will finish this project I am working on. I will intensify my efforts to refine what I have started here as well as put out more effort on job search. I will also spend time building my relationships, sometimes at the exclusion of other things.

July 22, 2020 – Coping with discouragement from a Christian center

July 22, 2020 /

I am running a little behind this week. I chose to work on my project rather than watch this on Sunday, mostly because we were not going to have any small group attendees. So I watched the service this morning.

This was a message that I would recommend for anyone at any station. Not every one hits me and I can see myself on both sides of the argument. Before anyone thinks that I get too carried away, with ‘churchiness’ and religion I want to be clear that my voice is promoting my beliefs and values. Using the language… loving someone where they are at doesn’t always mean accepting every behavior.

If you have watched these services, you will know that they are a little formulaic. There are usually three bullet items that are the talking points to the message. Today’s talking points are the sources of discouragement.

  • Harrassment
  • Propaganda
  • Written Accusation

As someone that is experiencing a little discouragement at the moment, positive ideas are a welcome suggestion. I feel like I am stuck in a rut where I cannot move on until I finish this project that I am working on. On the other side, I cannot wait to finish my project to keep working toward looking for jobs and life’s other necessities.

I myself have a hard time of being in the moment. It is hard to enjoy the sunshine when you can see storm clouds in the distance. Sure, maybe the clouds will blow another direction, but it sure looks like they are coming this way. And the weather forecast is predicting the storm this way.

I am a very binary person. I have a hard time with obscure transition points. Maybe that is why I had a difficult time in calculus, for a peak the transition is easier, but for a gradual slope what is the transition? Deep down, I understand that this is the path that I need to walk in order to get to the destination. I also understand that in my beliefs that there is only so much you can do to influence the path.

My wife has an uncle that is dying. In many ways it is very sudden, in other’s not. He basically drank himself to death. He was OK to the point where about two months ago the doctors said that his liver was failing. Now, that is not to say that not managing diabetes for the last several years contributed. The amputation of several toes were warning signs of failing management. But there was always tomorrow to correct and change the situation.

I don’t think that there was enough time for the five stages of grief. Last I had heard, he was still in the depression phase. I tell this story because things can always be significantly worse. That family has some real discouragement, not my two bit issues.

My ideas for coping with discouragement are

  • Have time in the day to identify problems and propose potential solutions
  • Embrace the unknown to the best of your ability, see the first bullet point.
  • Have outlets for coping be it friends, journaling/blogging, exercise or physical exertion
  • Seek help from a qualified source if the problem is larger than you feel like you can address.

I get stuck in the embrace part frequently. For small groups, from the sermon, the questions of the week are

  • How have you faced opposition in your life?
  • What verse do you use to make it through the situation?

July 21, 2020 – The road not taken

July 21, 2020 /

Remember that poem, “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost? If not, you can read it for yourself. I remember reading it several times throughout my youth. One time, I was a senior in high school in AP English and we were doing a third of a year on poetry. It was an early sign of my miswiring.

How can everything in literature have so much symbolism? We read work after work of supposed super deep and intertwined subtext. Be it ‘The Odyssey’ or ‘Oliver Twist’ or ‘Moby Dick’, we spent weeks on weeks of analysis chapter by chapter. Granted, I think that some did such as Dante’s ‘Inferno’ or some Shakespeare.

I feel like there is no way all those stories can be as deep as we try to make it out in a classroom setting. It could be that the only literature deemed classic from the 1600s was Shakepeare and that only survived because his writing was brilliant from a 3D political commentary standpoint. Or it could be because very little was written and this was the best of the period. Either way, it always felt to me that much of the justification for teaching in such a manner was validation of a chosen career field rather than the confirmation of extensive symbolism.

One of my classmates wrote a response to Oliver Twist and in it had a rather insightful line. I will paraphrase by saying taking a live rabbit and cutting it up into pieces does not make a whole rabbit in the end; Something is lost in the process. I started thinking about this topic last night when I was pondering what I was going to write quickly so I could get to work before the heat set in. That is when I thought I would post project progress to keep it easy. Then I thought about “The Road Not Taken”, then I went on to bash the English profession.

This started with plugging the hole for the downdraft vent and removing the drain plumbing from the old bathroom I found several problems, the waste plumbing from the kitchen sink was broken, siding behind the kitchen was rotten. That got me going deeper into the sheathing which had termite damage. Fortunately, the framing was still solid, so all that had to be replaced.

From the bathroom standpoint, the sheetrock and finishing has been completed, it will be paint next. By the way, if anyone has any real research to prove that Moby Dick was more than a story, I would be interested in it. I have never vested the time myself to look, but I am willing to be wrong on this.

July 20, 2020 – Do a good turn daily

July 20, 2020 /

One of the seminal experiences in my life was participating in Boy Scouts as a youth. If I remember correctly, I started a little late, like seventh grade and participated actively until I was eighteen. So let’s call it six years. So much of the fiber of my being was shaped and characterized during that time.

For the uninitiated, “Do a good turn daily” is the Boy Scout slogan. It is intended to mean look for opportunities to help someone every day. The motto “Be prepared” has also had a great impact on my life. I remember when I was a senior in college and the only tools I had were a hammer and a 4-in-1 screwdriver (and a Leatherman for pliers, from my scouting days) and I needed another tool. I realized that I wasn’t prepared for anything around the house or car.

It kind of hit me like a ton of bricks and I started buying tools and building kits. Not too much later, I started doing projects and I wanted to have my tools at the project or in the vehicle to go back and forth as well as have something at home at the same time. Then, I found myself running back and forth to the shop so I wanted tools in the shop as well as in the house. Maybe it went a little far?

So, that was one part I clearly took to heart. But a deeper and more meaningful experience was also had. I was lucky enough to get some youth leadership training and that was the gold in the program. I won an award called the HTGR or Hit the Ground Running which allowed me to become a counselor the next year and teach the class reinforcing the training at a deep rooted level. I still draw back to those lessons learned and I credit that training to being a capable leader when the need arises.

My two boys are now in Boy Scouts. Today we are helping the local food pantry distribute about 200 boxes to families that are in need. I have always enjoyed helping with no strings attached. Of course the real work is organizing and running the operation, not just putting in a couple hours of work. But despite that, it is nice to give a little just because you want to and can.

It is kind of strange looking at my kid’s troop that the profile of the individual scouts are a lot like my own experience. Most of them are socially awkward, band or theater kids. Myself is not excluded. We played a lot of games while camping like role playing games or card games and my son’s troop does as well. Truthfully, it is kind of surreal.

All that aside, I am super grateful for what I learned and carry forward in my life. I have heard from other parents that competitive programs do not provide the same value, I do not really have any experiences to compare. What is different from when I was a youth is that there are female troops now. So, in other words the unit is all girls, not co-mingled. I don’t know if there are any differences, again no exposure. But, if your child is not plugged into any extra-curricular activities I can highly recommend the Boy Scouts for a life changing activity.

June 17, 2020 – ‘Tacticool’ Thursday and the previous week

July 17, 2020 /

The reason I was gone was that we were ‘bugging out’. This is our first camping trip in several years. One of the reasons is that I drag my feet when it comes to camping is that my wife and I differ on how and what to do. She tends to only want to go to large parks with showers and such which drives me nuts. I have more solitude at home. Another reason is that, I really prefer a minimalist gear experience, but for the family is a day’s worth of prep on both sides to get all the stuff together.

Nevertheless, we went Monday through Thursday with some friends to a more primative and smaller campground in the middle of the week. It was mostly young families, pretty quiet. But let us get back to the subject at hand, bugging out.

Bugging out is a prepper term for leaving your primary residence on short notice. It would be the opposite of bugging in which is sheltering in place with minimal outside contact (kind of like what we have been doing since March). Depending on the length of the journey, you are ‘living off the land’ as you move to get to your final destination.

Why the heck would you bug out? Well some good reasons would be localized flooding for instance Hurricane Katrina or more likely in our case wildfires or you don’t want to be caught in the middle of a daily BLM riot. When the option to leave is better than the option to stay, you would bug out.

Now is a good interlude to inject some reality into the mall ninja line of thought. ‘I’ll just go into the back woods and take what I want. All I need is a rifle and knife.’ First, you are going to be competing with all the other idiots that think this way. Second, during the whole time, I saw nothing larger than a chipmunk so if you don’t have skill and knowledge of the area your chances of success are quite slim.

Camping is a good way to test your gear, skills and mettle. I have really tried to make my life easier by creating containers with dedicated gear so that it is an easier preparation to go. The problem is the stuff seems to grow more and more. Some of the stuff in the back of the photo we didn’t even use, like the generator (nor did we really need). It is kind of nice to have nearly a full kitchen without having to steal from the kitchen.

The way our cache has grown is over the years, if we needed something on the trip, we added it to stay with the camping gear. It is the little things that are probably the most helpful such as tin foil (for our hats), zip lock bags for leftovers and cooking utensils. Sometimes old cookware got rotated out the kitchen and into the the camping pile. We had an amount of basic spices that stay with the gear like onion, garlic, salt and pepper which is nice to not have to remember such things.

It can also be good to work on your improvising skills and not have everything you need. Cooking over a fire is a good example where often it is an exercise in doing with what you have on hand be it cooking surfaces or utensils. I cant say that we had everything we wanted on this trip. Had we been alone and not with another family, we would have done a few things differently but it worked out.

This year, it is particularly difficult. More people are ‘staycationing’ or staying close to home. I read that records are being set for boat sales this year, supporting that trend. The large parks always fill up fast and reservations usually need to be made in the spring time for summer weekends. But, I think that if you get off the beaten path a bit or are willing to travel a few hours, camping can be done on short notice.

July 8, 2020 – The highs and lows of life

July 8, 2020 /

I am feeling pretty down today. I found out yesterday that I was rejected from a job that I applied for. What, no big deal you say? True, in a sense. However, this is the fourth different job that I have made it through a series of interviews to be denied. It makes you feel like you have lost your touch and question yourself. I was sure that this was the one, the best fit in terms of company and job.

I have to say that before this year of journey and exploration, I never was rejected once I got passed the first interview. Even when I did not make the cut, I knew that I stumbled during the interview. I suppose that I am reaching far deeper and higher in the ranks of businesses than ever before and the consequences are far greater than some entry level position, but it is still hard on the ego.

Deep down, I know there is a plan for me. The plan may be to start over in life… I hope not but who knows. I know that this experience has lead me to question my decision making. Was the job that bad? Will I ever recover from this? Was it all an alternative reality where I was really the one in the wrong? I guess that I won’t really know the answer to those questions. The one thing that I can say is that this extended time has been good for my soul. I think that the Lord is teaching me something, I just don’t understand it yet.

Given how I am feeling at the moment, it is hard to celebrate that things are going well for me on my siding project. I am going to try and not be ‘glass half full’ as my wife says. It is slow and steady progress and that is looking really good. All the Weather Resistant Barrier (WRB) is up. Most of the trim is the up and I am filling in the siding.

I am painting before I hang the siding so as to minimize the ladder time for final painting. The idea is to touch up after it is installed. Plus it is a lot easier to to get many of the cracks and joints when they are all pieces before assembly.

I am still energized to get this thing done. It is not project at all costs, but close. The culture of hurry message is banging around in my head with the weight of the world in front of me.

July 7, 2020 – Freedom isn’t free… or wanted nor appreciated

July 7, 2020 /

I had a good Fourth of July. It certainly wasn’t normal or typical. One of the best benefits of living in a small town on Main Street is the parade that goes by our house every year. We usually have a a sizable gathering of friends and family to watch and then the grill goes on afterward. Not this year because of COVID.

Our sister city next door puts on a 40 minute fireworks display that causes enough traffic to take over an hour to move two miles. Not this year because of COVID. As a result, a lot of people were home and a lot of people were itching to celebrate.

It is common knowledge that I live in Oregon. I feel like I have written enough about my opinion that you can probably speculate on where I am going to come down on a lot of issues, but I want to divert to fireworks for a bit. Throughout my years, I have watched this state go from an independent thinking and acting group to an increasing statist leaning. Fireworks are no exception. Oregon has very strict laws on what fireworks are legal under the guise of personal safety and fire risk.

Despite that, Washington does not adhere to the same laws. I am literally sixty miles from purchasing any fireworks that I would like to buy. I can somewhat understand the fire risk argument, however I have rarely heard of a fire started by errant fireworks. I prescribe that it is a more nanny state rule, than fact. I lived in South Carolina for a couple of years and they definitely enjoyed their freedom when it came to fireworks. Ironically, North Carolina did not and we were ten miles from the border in that case.

I want to introduce a term here – Agorism. You can look up the definition but it to summarize it is the voluntary association of people for mutual benefit. We live in a society that is the opposite of that; involuntary association that uses the power of the state to make people comply to arbitrary rules or opinions.

Another applicable term that is misunderstood is Anarchy. The common perception of Anarchy is violence and chaos which I would argue is much more akin to revolution than a society without rulers. I am going to show some examples of what I saw on Nextdoor after we got done with our celebration on Saturday.

In this case, there was a half-hearted attempt blast out an plea to stop lighting fireworks (I am assuming illegal). The first issue is that the people lighting them off are not reading Nextdoor posts right now, I sure wasn’t. Additionally, she made no attempt address the people that she had the issue with. But the real problem I have is the reasoning is not solid. I am willing to bet that there is no one with PTSD in that household. Pets – maybe, but I believe that the real issue is that Becky does not want to enjoy freedom.

Before I get too carried away, I want to make sure that my position is clear. There is a time and a place to light fireworks. Fourth of July, after dark and before midnight is the time and the place to do so. I talked with my neighbors while we were lighting fireworks off. If I knew that someone had a problem like PTSD, I would appreciate it if we had a discussion where we would set clear expectations about what we would do.

I was already kind of agitated when I read the second post.

The white supremacist’s are looting and rioting? What? If you read all the responses you would see that Howard is lamenting the lack of fireworks display – cancelled because of COVID but yet the city (of Salem) is staffing up for a Black Lives Matter protest. People such as Deby are now using completely flawed logic to push her agenda and lash out. There has been no looting or rioting in Salem, Marion or Polk counties (Nextdoor’s target group). Those activities have occurred within the protest ranks. I am not sure what she is tired of.

My point with all of this is that a lot of people don’t really want freedom. They like to think that they do, but true freedom has to let people do things they want, whether they agree with the activity or not. They want to live in neighborhoods with and association dictating what they can do. They want to use the power of the state to enact laws based on their own beliefs. Both sides of the political isle do it. It just depends on your flavor rule.

I think it goes part and parcel with people not using logic and blathering nonsense whenever they feel like it. I am looking for a way to opt out of Nextdoor as I speak.

July 6, 2020 – The marathon continues and commandment for rest

July 6, 2020 /

I think that as believers, we would think that every message reaches with the same effectiveness and efficacy, but that is not true. This week, we didn’t have a small group gathering because it was just a busy holiday weekend. But unlike last week, this one hit me close.

The reason that I didn’t post toward the end of last week is that I am pushing to get this job done. I have four days of vacation coming at the beginning of next week for a family camping trip. I need to get as much done this week or time is going to start to run out.

This week’s message is about taking the time to rest. I am sure that we can all visualize the damage of overexertion. But we don’t always see the hidden or incremental damage when we don’t take rest. I am no stranger to this as you can see my habits tend toward getting this job done at all costs.

I learned early on that I was not the smartest or the fastest or the strongest but I could endeavor to be the toughest or the one that never gives up. I remember that when I was in high school, I joined the wrestling team just to see if I could take it. I didn’t win a single match, but I didn’t give up and I vowed that I would keep going.

I outlasted many better athletes and my mental condition changed to the point where I felt like I could outwill anyone. That started me down the belief in a never give up attitude. That has translated in a burn out type work habits in certain contexts. Under a more introspective analysis, I guess that I thought if I channeled that energy into the right projects or endeavors that this would be productive. However this week’s message is a more counter viewpoint and more importantly, why.

I have done my own reading over the years. But everyone needs a refresher on fundamentals. For instance, one of Steven Covey’s Seven Habits is to ‘sharpen the saw’. From what I always understood, was that you needed to stop and go back to make sure your fundamentals were honed. But did you catch it… stop first. You cannot sharpen the tool blade without stopping.

I have written about being in the moment, it is very difficult to me. Sometimes you need to hear a message from different sources, but I think that I am finally hearing it. From the message, we need to let our fields be fallow so not to ultimately leave them unfertile. Doing so will generate greater bounty. Those fields for me are my marriage and relationships and potentially my health both physically and mentally.

The questions of the week are

  • What does hurry and hustle look like in your life?
  • What are some of the things you can do to find rest this week?

I suppose what hit me the hardest is that we all have the same amount of time in our lives. We are not going to control something that we really have no control over no matter how badly we want to. What is really the crux is using the time effectively.

July 1, 2020 – Don’t forget to sign your work

July 1, 2020 /

Back when I started this project in March, I was thinking of tagging the sheathing (or somewhere inconspicuous). I was thinking of using something like ‘Quarantine March 2020’. But time got away from me. Now that I am heading toward the finish line, I am using up some paint that I nicknamed ‘Pandemic Pink’.

Pandemic Pink started life as many colors that got mixed together. I have been using it to back paint siding and other things that aren’t seen. This was paint that no longer has a home. It was the wrong shade of yellow, former exterior paint, a former door paint that when mixed together turned into a Pepto-Bismol color.

I do this from time to time, I will mix old paint together to get enough to do some sort of project, as long as it no longer has a use. As long as you don’t particularly care about the final color, it can be quite helpful and cost saving. I learned this trick from my grandfather.

I was painting Pandemic Pink today and I am probably on the second to last panel of remaining paint. I thought that I wanted leave a note about the work that was done so that someone may find it in the future. So, I wrote it in Sharpie on the back of a T1-11 panel that I am going to install tomorrow. I thought that it might be cool to leave a story for someone to find in the future as well as solve the pink mystery.

There is no telling that it will ever be found, especially if this house gets torn down with some kind of machine. I liken it to when service personnel signed bombs before loading them on an aircraft, likely never seen. But you never know.

I encourage you to sign your work or leave a time capsule or some other fun or interesting clues to your work. I would enjoy finding something like that.