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September 20, 2021 – Speaking of Saving Time vs. Money

September 20, 2021 /

We had our first taste of fall come on Saturday. It rained nearly two inches which is really unusual. Despite the fact that I plumbed the heat pump condensate to the sump and it has been running lightly all summer, wouldn’t you know that the pump failed Saturday morning.

We were trying to get ready to head out the door for a day of clean-up at my in-laws property. Since we were expecting it to be raining and miserable all day, we were getting our rain gear from the basement. Luckily I was near the pump and I heard the pump running dry. I went over to inspect and found that the screw holding the switch bracket in place had rusted off and had wedged the level switch in the on position.

Knowing that we were going to be gone all day and knowing that we expected a lot of rain, I could not leave the house with this situation the way it was and not end up with a lot of water in the basement. I have done this repair before, My first attempt was to extract the broken part of the screw. But the mud, low light and depth of the pump made my first attempt not successful. Since I needed to remove the pump to try and fix the problem, I decided to replace the pump instead. There is no guarantee that I can get the broken screw out anyway.

It is 9:30 AM Saturday. The local hardware store is five minutes away and open. The short of it is that I had the pump swapped out in an hour. There was no major issue and hopefully, I will have a spare if I can fix the old one.

Given that we already had a long day scheduled and that we were late to begin with, I appreciate that the local hardware store was not only open but had what I needed in stock. Remember what I said on Friday maybe not always what you want, but will work? In this case, I replaced a 1/6 HP pump with a 1/3 HP pump.

Well, the smaller one was doing the job fine. Secondly, I paid probably twice as much for this pump than the smaller one. Lastly, pumps rely on pumping for cooling and the on/off cycle is the hardest part of the job. It is possible that this is oversized and will have a reduced lifespan as a result. I guess we will see. But, we had a dry basement and most of the day to do what we needed to do. Despite the trade offs, this will be good enough and price checking after the fact, I paid the same as at the big box.

End Your Programming Routine: How’s that for timing? I just want to reiterate that I appreciate that I could get the job done in such a short period of time. Anecdotally, I was explaining to my boys what was the problem and me fixing it. Meanwhile, on Sunday, the pastor was lamenting how his father never taught him anything around the house (which of course was the lead to a deeper subject). But, I think I was given a strong message with this problem.


September 17, 2021- The Value of Local Business and Relationships

September 17, 2021 /

I talk about planning a lot. I am pretty good about planning my stuff, but I fail hard on planning for the relationship level. Mother’s Day, Valentines, Birthdays and Christmas are all things that I dread. I would guess that it is because I don’t have a lot of interest in those things personally. I could care less if I do anything different on my birthday or not. Others in my family think it is a national holiday.

I have been holding on to this story since June, I am not sure why but I thought that I would save it until I really needed an idea. I know that it was at least partially because I wanted to do the topic justice. I don’t think that is really today, but it seemed like a good day to use it.

I live in a small town. It is the kind of place that nearly everything is closed by 8pm. Maybe you can imagine what that looks like but often doesn’t leave a lot of options from a retail standpoint. I would best describe the environment like you can often find something that will work but may not be exactly what you want.

I am speaking about hardware, building supplies, sporting goods, clothing and electronics. I am sure that it applies to other things as well but these are the things that I am often in search of. I have definitely grown more accustomed to going directly online. But that doesn’t work well when you haven’t planned in advance, see paragraph one above.

June 1 was my mom’s birthday. Of course I wasn’t prepared so I thought that I would get some flowers. Little did I know the flower shop closed at 4pm and it was 4:15. Fortunately, we already have a non-business relationship and she was still at the shop. I suspect that she would have done it for most people but it at least made me feel like I got preferential treatment.

In building this relationship, I have also learned that how things are done matter. For instance, I have learned that ordering directly from the flower shop puts more margin in the owners direction. So, while you might pay the same ordering from the shop directly versus a national service when the owner does better on the sale, other things happen. I talk about this more at the end of this post.

I do try to give business in town when I can. Without patrons willing to frequent the business, they wont be there at all let alone limited hours. Sometimes I pay the extra 30-50% premium to do my part for the convenience. I should also mention the next bigger city is nearly half an hour away. You are trading time for money in many instances. Unless money is really tight, time is often much more valuable to me.

The second half of this equation is that relationships aren’t free. Of course there is the financial part of it but I am talking about the quid pro quo side. I agreed to transform a picture frame into a memory box by cutting some slots so slogans written on blocks of wood could be slid in for a daughters graduation/birthday party.

It probably took me two hours to do. I will say that I was way more careful than I would normally be because it wasn’t my frame to damage or mess up. But, that is a good lesson for me as well as I can be a little too casual sometimes and things don’t go the way that I think they should in my mind.

Getting back to the theme here. Sometimes the relationship occurs before the business or sometimes it is the other way around. When I was in college, I became friendly with a guy whose parents owned a Chinese restaurant. We did our fair share of buying meals, but usually we got something comped or brought out to sample as well. There were a couple of times that we were invited to the Chinese New Year dinner with the family. That was really cool.

I will throw in one last example. There was a local gas station that unfortunately developed a tank leak and had to be torn down for environmental cleanup earlier this year. He says the plan is to rebuild quickly, I hope so.

I was going to the station across the street because the price was the same and it was the easiest to get back on the road in the direction that I wanted to go. But several times, the attendant asked me to wait 15 minutes for their staff meeting (we do not have self-service gasoline in Oregon). After about the third time this happened, I left to the first station I mentioned and never went back.

I was one of his earliest repeat customers I am pretty sure because he had just purchased the station. Each time I would hand him my debit card he would take the time to read the name and thank me before I left. It wasn’t long and he knew my vehicle, what I wanted. This guy was a people person anyway and I noticed over the years people would pull into the station largely to talk.

He also employed local kids to work. But the real reason I kept going to buy my gasoline was that I began to notice his business was a frequent sponsor of youth sports teams, seasonal music etc. I have never seen the station across the street sponsor anything in this town. Even though I paid at least 10 cents per gallon more I made the choice to spend my money there because it was working harder at things that were important to me.

End Your Programming Routine: The point to all of this is that business can build relationship. And, when you have commerce with relationship that becomes community. Community is caring, the drive to belong and participate which allow both to business and relationship to thrive.

September 16, 2021 – ‘Tacticool’ Thursday

September 16, 2021 /

I am definitely feeling a little rummy today. I have been burning the midnight oil canning peaches and getting up early for work as well as managing some of the estate cleanup activities and all of the household. I tentatively set plans to go to the range today after work but there is just too much going on I am going to have to look for another day.

That leaves me at the same place as I was last week with reloading and I have a new red dot sight that I want to get bore sighted before I go to the range. Since I am abandoning that idea, then I don’t need to that yet. So what else is going on in my Tacticool world? As you can probably guess, not a lot but that doesn’t mean that I cant talk about something relevant.

Let me diverge for a minute. A couple of days ago, I saw that 20lb propane tanks were on sale. Since the ice storm in February, they have been chronically missing at stores, The ones that I have seen the normal price has gone up at least 33% since last year. I have been waiting for them to come back in stock and better yet, go on sale. That was the day so I bought one.

My son asked me why I needed another cylinder. My answer was that I only have one and I would like to at least have a spare so that I could use one while I was refilling the other. And I also tried to get across that the time to get one is when you don’t actually need one because as we can see from this real world example, it may never be back in stock when you need it. I do want to get one more and have them all filled for if we ever needed emergency heat or cooking in the future.

That is a good lesson but let’s apply it to Tacticool. I spend a lot of time in my office. Being that it is in the basement and isolated from the rest of the house, stuff can happen and I don’t really know about it. We do have recently installed Ring cameras so I do hear the chime and can login to the portal to see what is the cause of the movement but I don’t always do that.

I was thinking about moving some of my firearms into my office. This was mostly for climate control purposes but the thought did cross my mind that it would be nice to have ready access (just in case) something should ever come up. Currently, I have stuff kind of distributed across the house.

As my juices started going, I started thinking about my options for better access. One option would be to carry consistently. I have to say that having my permit for over six years, I find to to be a large inconvenience and it is not comfortable. It also doesn’t work well with light summer dress or informal clothes that a belt is not necessary or possible.

Another option would be to just have access in my office. I don’t really want to have loaded firearms just sitting around, that is not really a great option. So, now I am just carrying one around, I might as well have a holster. I will solve this one way or another.

My point for all of this is that just like the propane cylinder, it is difficult to be prepared after the fact. And since I am kind of blind in the office, I would feel better if I didn’t have to run upstairs to get the keys to the gun cabinet should I need access.

End Your Programming Routine: The probability that I would have an altercation is extremely low. It doesn’t mean that I can’t be prepared from a thought experiment point of view. I am encouraging you again to do the mental exercises to think out what if the power was out for days in the winter or what if someone broke in or even wandered in. The time to be ready is not after the event happens.

September 15, 2021 – Ode to Norm Macdonald

September 15, 2021 /

I had something completely different planned for today, in fact I had already started writing it but when I heard that Norm Macdonald had died, I had to say a few things about him.

If you have heard of the doppelganger theory, then some people say that I look like Michael Keaton (that is a story for another day). I feel like Norm was my comic double. I am probably not as good of BS-er as I think he was, but I feel like he can really deliver one liners like nobodies’ business. So, if I think I was ever going to be a comic, then I would look to Norm for inspiration.

I am not going to go on and on about him but I thought that it was worth mentioning that he was probably my favorite comic. I liked that fact that he would would just keep plowing through jokes that ended up being terrible. It was probably the years of training at Saturday Night Live. See below for an example.

He also seemed to be able to fit in a wide variety of situations. Not everything was filthy/raunchy but he could keep right up there with the Eddie Murphy’s of the world if he chose to. I read this joke on Wikipedia yesterday and I was laughing at the punch you in the face technique Norm would use.

After the announcement that Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley planned to divorce, Macdonald joked about their irreconcilable differences on Weekend Update. “According to friends, the two were never a good match. She’s more of a stay-at-home type, and he’s more of a homosexual pedophile.”

I listened to his podcast a couple of years ago, at times it was pretty rough. But again, despite the disaster of the show, Norm kept going. This was going on at the time that he was also playing Colonel Sanders for KFC so he also new how to make fun of himself too.

End Your Programming Routine: Life is short. We should laugh once in a while including at ourselves. We don’t always have to get so offended either. Norm was a writer and a comic more so than an actor which means that he liked to make others laugh. I know that I am going to miss his work.

September 14, 2021 – Be Gone

September 14, 2021 /

It seems like every few years, I get on a cleanup kick. It is probably more like I run out of energy every few years and then something sparks it back up. That is the case here. Now that my office is done and stuff is strewn all over the basement, it is time to get organized again. There is no sense putting everything back.

The day after I quit my job in 2019, I spent the afternoon in the basement. It was my intent to start cleaning out and consolidating. That was the last time I made any attempt. But, now it is for real since my office took over space that was formerly storage and now there is less of it.

I have another motivator, fall is coming. With the weather change comes the occasional flooding in the basement. I always spend some time in the fall moving and preserving all the things that get carelessly left out in the bustle of summer parties and knowing there is a tomorrow to take care of it.

This year is more than a tidying up, it is a major remodel. I am finally getting rid of my college textbooks and old software, the original drapes my wife’s grandfather’s desk, baby furniture parts, etc. First, I need to reclaim some space that I lost, but second I haven’t accessed most of that stuff since it made it into the basement in the first place. In fact, some of it didn’t make it out of the box it was packed in before we moved in 2005.

I typically don’t consider myself a pack rat. Using my textbooks as an example At the time that I got them, there was barely an internet. Certainly, in the mid 1990s it was not developed like it is today. The reason I kept them was that it was the only way to access that specific information at the time. I hate to throw them out because the information is still valid, but I am not an active chemist anymore. I haven’t used that information in over ten years at least.

My now Linux computer still has a 3.5″ floppy drive. I paid an extra $100 when I built the computer to have it. At one point, earlier in my career I did access some calculations that I did in school. They were highly complicated calculus equations to model tank volumes which I used as a chemist. But, I haven’t been a chemist since 2008. Both mine and my wife’s college work is on the stack of disks. I am going to save the data before I toss the disks.

To be 100 percent honest, I have no idea what is on the 5.5″ floppy. Our first 8086 IBM in 1986 had a 3.5″ drive so I don’t know why I would have the other size disk. I kind of think it came from my wife but I have no ability to access the disk.

About a year ago, we helped my in-laws move back into their house after a remodel due to water damage. What I was saying to them was this is a process. You have to know that you have it, you have to know where it is and you have to use it at least occasionally.

We do have a few things that I am not quite ready to part with despite the fact that it doesn’t meet that criteria. For instance, we have a silver plated punch bowl that we got for our wedding. I think we have used it at most three times. But for most everything else, it needs to go.

End Your Programming Routine: I am trying execute this in the most efficient way by minimizing the trips to the dump and donation centers. That being said, it is difficult to keep moving piles to new piles but I am getting through it. I think that it going to take a couple weeks as I continue to peck at it in my free time. I am looking forward to finishing this project.

September 13, 2021 – You Probably Think I have Lost My Mind

September 13, 2021 /

Friday seems like a generation ago for me. It was another blur of a weekend that I can barely remember. Since this is not Facebook, I am not going to get into all of those details but what I will say is that everything was about closure and preparation to move on. For the foreseeable future, it is just us guys home.

One thing that I haven’t done in a couple of years is canning of peaches and pears. In fact, we are out of pears and down to our last quart of peaches. I think the last time I did it was 2018. Ideally, you would plan to can what you would eat in a year. When I was growing up, my mom would shoot for 1 quart a week. For us, I think that is a little steep but I definitely want to have a little more than what I think we would eat so I am shooting for 24.

What you are looking at is 60 lbs of peaches and 56 lbs of pears. With peaches at least, you always want to get them a little firm and let them ripen up. Otherwise, they get crushed when packed for transport. Both of these I bought at a local feed store chain so I didn’t really get as much choice as I would have liked but I got volume and I didn’t have to pick them. I will also need to get the pears laid out but I think I have a little more time since they are still green.

What does one need to know to prepare for canning?

  • Get your recipe in line, that way you will have an idea of how many jars to have ready and how many other supplies will be necessary like sugar or salt or spices
  • Keep your calendar flexible but realize that when it is time to go, it is time to get canning. I am hoping everything can last until the weekend.
  • If you haven’t done this before, allow plenty of time when starting and plan on completing the job when it is done, not by a time slot
  • Have a place ready to store the jars when done ideally for the rest of the year.
  • Be prepared for a mess, you may end up having to clean the kitchen after a late night even if you are careful.

So, not only do I have single parenting responsibilities, handling some estate duties on this side of the country and dealing with my own messes now I have a bunch of canning to do. I am keeping it short today but now you know why I titled today’s post.

End Your Programming Routine: When harvest season comes, the work has to get done. This is the one time to take advantage of the bounty and put it away for the rest of the year. I am going to enlist the boys to help me out because they eat most of them anyway but it is now or never (for this year).

September 11, 2021 – Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning?

September 11, 2021 /

This is a special Saturday edition. Where were you when the world stopped turning? This is twentieth anniversary of 9/11.

Did you know that Alan Jackson wrote this song on September 12? While this is probably not the best song he ever wrote, you can tell that it is really heartfelt and focused on the good in life. This is what Glenn Beck called the 9/12 people. We hurt, we cared, we did what we could where we could do it and it didn’t matter our politics or persuasion.

I will never forget the image of people jumping out of the tower rather than possibly being burned or crushed to death. I see the front page of the Charlotte Observer with that picture on it every time I think about 9/11.

As I am solidly in middle age now, more and more of the population demographic is shifting from 9/11 being a seminal moment to a historical event. What I lament the most is not the event but the consequences. What I mean is the creation of the Department of Homeland Security, the military conflict in Afghanistan and Iraq, the Patriot Act, etc. People don’t even realize the damage to freedom that has been done in the name of security.

End Your Programming Routine: I don’t want to get overtly political today. I encourage you to remember when and be the person that you were September 12. The one that feels the loss, not vengeful and blinded by rage. Be the one that doesn’t need to solve the ‘problem’ but is in the moment for a little while.

September 10, 2021 – 1984, the Finale

September 10, 2021 /

I am sure that everyone has been sitting on pins and needles waiting for this day. Today, I am going to discuss my opinion and analysis of 1984. I have spilled a few drops along the way so my opinion shouldn’t be a complete surprise. I will caution that this post is not going to be an academic thesis. Let us first get into my motivations in the first place.

Hopefully, you realize that freedom is one of my anchor tenants of this blog. I picked 1984 to read and analyze because I thought that it did a pretty good job of forecasting the future when it was published in 1948. When I say pretty good job, I really mean scarily accurate. What I didn’t realize until halfway through the book that this book is not really about freedom.

Now, before everyone gets too carried away, remember what I said in my very first post of 1984. It is not my intent to speak for Orwell, he could have done that himself. It is my attempt to analyze what I read and provide an opinion. And my opinion is that this is not a book about freedom. So, let us unwind that some more.

First we need to look at the origins of the story and the author. Orwell (real name Eric Arthur Blane) was born in India in 1903. He was born in imperial India under British rule but the family soon after moved to Great Britain. That did mean that he travelled the world under a favored passport. I would say his formative years were were forming the opinions that come out in 1984.

I think from reading Orwell’s biographical information, there is no doubt that geo-socioeconomic politics have colored his thoughts and opinions. This was a very tumultuous time with the Bolshevik revolution, Spanish Revolution, World War 1,2 and the pinnacle of the British Empire all occurring in his lifetime. Also coinciding with that was the prominence of psychological research along with Eugenics and progressive thought.

I think that this book is a story about Freudian theory of psychoanalysis. Orwell uses his beliefs about politics to support the story and develop Winston as the representative of the three types of personalities. In case you are not familiar with these, they are simply defined as the following.

  • Id – Subconscious thought
  • Ego – Conscious thought
  • Super Ego – Values and morals

Clues started coming to me with the dreams, the verbal out lashes, the mother issues, the seeking of erotic pleasure. Those things could have been interpreted as the repression as they were portrayed or something larger. To me, I could not make another connection to those events to the story line without going straight to Freud. Throughout the book, all three personalities were clashing, particularly in section 3.

I am by no means an expert in this area, but I started questioning my beliefs that this was a story about freedom when the book got into section 3. My limited research into psychoanalysis has caused me to understand that there is a personality progression. It seems to be tied largely to age, but I didn’t see anything strictly limiting to such. In fact, some sources supported the idea that not progressing through the stages leads to neurosis, clearly a trait that Winston exhibited at times.

While the Freudian theories were first introduced in 1890, Great Britain created the Psychological society in 1913 which was right before World War 1. It was expanded in 1919 after the war. I think that it is highly plausible that Orwell as a student was not only exposed to these theories but was highly impressionable at that young age.

The story just doesn’t go with the flow that I would expect. In fact, very little of section 3 makes much sense. Yes, there is a societal warning in 1984 but the reprogramming of Winston to accept Big Brother doesn’t make much sense without Freud. Orwell could have ended 1984 shortly after Section 2 if he just wanted a warning or he could have made Winston and Julia heroes if he wanted to go the other direction.

My point is that this story went on way too long or at least not in the correct direction if this was simply a story warning about totalitarian governments. As of right now, my belief is that Animal Farm is a story more in line with the freedom vein by Orwell. I also think that the notoriety of that earlier work has blinded people into pigeon holing Orwell into social commentary rather than being more broad which is where I am falling on the spectrum.

End Your Programming Routine: Orwell died in 1950 not long after 1984 was published. It is unfortunate that he did not get to see the juggernaut that he created and then maybe I wouldn’t even be discussing this. I also looked around and there doesn’t seem to be any commentary from Orwell about it. There is plenty of other’s opinions out there, but again it is just that which of course you know by now that I am taking a different direction.

September 9, 2021 – ‘Tacticool’ Thursday

September 9, 2021 /

From what I have seen on TV, the time when the weather shifts in Alaska from below freezing to mostly above freezing is called ‘Breakup’. The ice in the rivers that have been frozen over start to break up. Icebergs can end up floating down the river and damage equipment and structures. It seems like a time that is tumultuous and semi hazardous and there are a lot of unknowns.

We are in the breakup period of pandemic buying of guns and ammunition. I am speaking mostly about ammunition and components to reload in this context. There is some availability and the prices have started to stabilize a little bit. It really depends on what it is you are looking for. What I have seen is the auto pistol calibers 9mm, 40 S&W and 45acp and not really the revolver cartridges 38/357, 44, 45. And if you are looking for anything obscure…good luck.

I was able to buy 45 Colt brass and and bullets a couple of weeks ago. I do already have some primers and powder, so I have enough to load a batch. I slowed my roll on reloading about two years ago, it did coincide some with the pandemic but also my economic status and the activities I was engaged with (remodeling). By the time I had time and money to shoot, There wasn’t anything to replace what I was shooting so I tempered a bit.

The real reason that I stopped reloading was really that I didn’t have enough data to continue to reload. Meaning, I have done a lot of planning (and reloading) but really haven’t shot much to speak of. So I didn’t want to keep going without getting some feedback on how I was doing. Can you imagine loading 1000 rounds of really poor shooting ammunition? It would be a waste of a lot of time and money.

Every load is kind of a controlled experiment. By changing one variable, the entire load must be tested again for optimum performance. In some cases, substituting one component for another is not a direct replacement. Take a look at the picture above. The lead bullets are the same weight as the jacketed ones. Lead versus jacketed bullets perform differently. One of the advantages of jacketed bullets is that they can travel at higher velocity because Lead can coat the inside of the barrel if the bullet is pushed too fast.

Another item to consider is that bullets of the same weight and density (and diameter) should be roughly the same length. However a heavier bullet will almost always be longer. A longer bullet is seated more deeply inside of the case so that when the powder ignites, there is less overall volume and therefore the bullet exits with higher pressure. All this is to say that bullets cannot just be willy nilly substituted from the load data.

If you are knowledgeable about reloading then this is all old hat. 45 Colt was first introduced in 1872 and this was in the black powder era which is why the case is so tall. There are still firearms around from that period and overly high pressure can actually blow up that firearm. So, you need to know what you are loading for and the boundaries for what you are shooting.

The same can be said for primers and powder, etc. Above is some guidance that I have used to load 250 grain loads. In this case, I have 200 grain bullets now. I think that the best way to proceed and learn something is to use the same powder and primer and only change the bullet weight. Looking at the 250 grain load guidance, you can see that the starting powder charge is 5.0 grains and can be loaded up to 6.2 grains of powder. When you look at the 200 grain ranges, the powder goes from 6.4 – 7.7 grains.

I don’t know what the ‘leading’ threshold is for velocity and pressure issues. I am presuming that Hodgdon has done the research and and would be conservative in their recommendations. I will probably load some through the spectrum of powder weights to see if I can determine any differences.

End Your Programming Routine: Don’t be scared, this is relatively safe and fun if you are diligent and follow good practice. I like the idea that I can make my own custom loads and especially save some money at the same time. I also like the idea that I can makeup what I need based on the application that I am using i.e. hunting vs plinking vs bear defense. I have been guarding my stash of ammo and components watching how this whole ‘breakup’ unfolds. But it does seem like spring is here.

September 8, 2021 – The Book of John and Loving Like Jesus

September 8, 2021 /

It is hard for me to convey how difficult this time has been. It is not that I can’t do the job using words, but that I don’t want to get deeply into explaining the situation. It involves the feelings of loss and despair along with a history of conflict. But for context reasons I will provide an abstract summary below.

Let us just say that there is a significant person in my life that is struggling. There has been a history of conflict with this individual. As a result of the conflict, most people including children have distanced themselves to the point where they are unwilling to do much more than topical help. This person is at a point where help is necessary to function on a day to day basis.

To be 100% fair, this is not my burden to bear alone. In fact, I am a lessor party in this dynamic and it is more directly impacting my wife. The problem is that we are also having some issues related our differences. We have been seeing a counselor over the summertime to try and help. We know the problems, it is more about how to move beyond them.

In general, I am opposed to conflict. Intellectually I know that sometimes it is necessary, my issue is the frequency, intensity and root cause of the conflict. I understand that there is a give and take in a relationship. For the most part, I am ambivalent about a lot of things and then the problem is that I don’t have strong enough opinion leads conflict. For those reasons, I have been tempted to give up but for some reason God pulls me in.

This entire year, our church has been going through a series on the book of John. I didn’t give it much thought last fall when the series began. The truth is, sometimes I have a hard time with continuity because I would estimate that we attend 50% of Sundays. One time a month, we are at the church but teaching in the children’s area and missed the service altogether.

Not this year, with the sermons getting put onto podcast form, I can now listen at any point in the week. That has made me follow the progression more closely and it has also put more faith touchpoints in different parts of the week. Consequently, I have put more thought into the message and how it applies to my life.

If I am honest, there are times that I have not lived to the values that I aspire. Christians would label as ‘sin’ but I think a better descriptor would be ‘humanness’. It is not easy to engage in a situation that outside of your comfort level no matter how right it is supposed to be.

Let me cut to the chase, do you help someone significantly if you can’t stand to be around them and you are the only person willing to entertain the thought at this time? If I play devil’s advocate for just a second, the faith dichotomy comes to head. One end of the spectrum there is living like Jesus versus the god will provide belief.

My journey through this year has led me more to the former and living like Jesus. It is the reason that I made an attempt to resolve relationships with my brother in law. The thing that I did wrong was not trying to understand his perspective and stop having a relationship as a result. Despite doing that, I am under no illusion that there won’t be difficult times in our relationship in the future.

How else can you reconcile values versus action? By doing the difficult things because they are the right things to do is the only thing I know. Standing alone is difficult, it is thankless and it makes you question your decisions. But, I think that is the only way.

End Your Programming Routine: This situation is not all entirely my decision on how to proceed. So, I cannot say how it will ultimately play out. What I am trying to convey today is that regardless of the choice, the path is not easy. Additionally, I appreciate the opportunity to follow along in various forms of media to help me walk my walk. We can only get ‘better’ as humans by looking at our actions and striving to make corrections for the future.