Tag: mindset

October 27, 2020 – Have I failed at unemployment?

October 27, 2020 /

I guess that you could say maybe I hit the mid-life crisis stage a few years early. I got the car (and sold it), I quit my job without a plan and I am still trying to answer that question succinctly. Last night, I realized bigger truth is that we are asking ourselves the wrong wrong question in life.

I believe the proper question is not ‘What’ but ‘Who do you want to be when you grow up’. As I grow older the wisdom of age starts to come into play. The reason things and a high paying career don’t bring happiness is because they really don’t matter. In fact, they do the opposite by cementing you into your unhappiness by propelling you to do things you don’t really want to do to have things that don’t change the happiness paradigm.

Photo by Diana Platonova on Pexels.com

It is not easy to go from associating a title and worth to an unknown. Let me give an example. Am I unemployed, retired, a struggling entrepreneur (or an idiot)? Last April when I left my job I told people that I was retired. I was mentally burned out from the years of brutal travel and being on the clock 24/7. While I was employed, my mental numbness was soothed by buying things like tools that there was no way I would ever use because I didn’t ever have the time to do so. I was sure that I wanted something different and controlling my own destiny would go a long way toward self fulfillment.

As time went on, I knew that I was too young to ‘retire’ from a financial perspective but I didn’t have any prospects. Of the interviews I did last year, some of opportunities would have paid a lot more to do similar activities. I briefly considered that if I made more money, the struggle and stress would be worth it. Fortunately or not, none of those opportunities worked out and I shifted to unemployed.

As of the turn of this year, I dedicated more effort into finding a replacement job. Little did I know that the Pandemic economy would change the business landscape. For instance, my wife hasn’t been in her office since March. Many of the large tech companies are decentralizing (locations), potentially forever. Social gathering and networking has been pushed into the virtual domain. More so than ever, job searching has become who you know, increasingly online.

My lack of success being unemployed had forced me to become entrepreneurial for better or worse. I think that it is still very much in line with my happiness. I don’t mind working longer from a timeclock standpoint as long I am controlling my destiny. The real problem is that this is emersion learning and commiserate earning. It will be take some years to become proficient and viable in the business aspects.

One of the reasons that I wrote about being grateful last week is that is a who statement rather than a what statement. Despite the title of the job or the salary attached to the title, knowing who you want to be can help shape your circumstance. Trying a litmus test, here are some characteristics that I think will make me happy.

  • I want a faith centered life to provide a framework of principles, decision making, accountability and redemption
  • I want to be a supportive husband, father, son, citizen. I want to be available without guilt to volunteer, attend functions and appointments to do my first duties first
  • I want to have meaningful relationships that help other people people grow into what they want to be or be safe to be themselves
  • I want to be a positive force where applied, wanted or needed
  • I want the freedom of creativity and choice, the scientist in me wants to hypothesize, test and analyze results.
  • I want the ability to learn from and influence my future based on lessons learned or perceived mistakes
  • I want merit based reward, not based on tenure or title. This keeps the incentive to innovate and strive for continuous improvement in front

From those things, what career would you say I should be looking for? There are a few things that are applicable to a job but many are not and none are specific. In my talks with associates in the HR field, their advice is that I am not specific enough in my approach, where I am looking or even my interviewing. The way I see it is that I cant be, that is the crisis and dichotomy that lead me here in the first place. I have subconsciously changed my focus to Who and not What and it seems to show in my job searching.

I am going to start wrapping it up. What I will do is keep pushing forward keeping my values in front, evaluating data consistently and things will fall into place. Just as promised in my stated goals, I want to be a positive force for others so I hope that you spend more time focusing on ‘Who you want to be’ rather than ‘What do you want to be’. If you ever get the Who licked then by all means go for it!

October 20, 2020 – I want to be grateful

October 20, 2020 /

Have you ever had an opinion that you alone held, especially the one where you believe you are right and everyone else is wrong? That is the kind of thing where you look at yourself in third person and you say how can you possibly believe something different than everyone else.

I guess that is way I can describe my gratefulness ‘gene’. I don’t really see it until I look back on myself in third person. I don’t tend to recognize all of the good things and tend to dwell on the negative.

Here are a list of some of the things that have happened within the last week.

  1. I have had two job interviews this week
  2. I have been helping my in-laws clean-up and organize. I took a load to the dump of their stuff and it included a bunch of mine as well.
  3. My father-in-law gave me a nice string trimmer that he is no longer using
  4. The neighbors gave me a bag full of mushrooms that they foraged this week
  5. I visited the new brewery in town with my wife for the first time. We had a nice time.
  6. I also went out with friends for a social evening on Saturday.
  7. We completed our 2019 taxes and were net neutral on owning money. This was a first in many years.
  8. My daily alignment walks seem to be helping me set daily priorities and be more in touch with spirituality.
  9. I have completed preserving everything that is available to do so. Yesterday I canned peppers as pickled jalapenos.
  10. I completed a job on-time and in-budget.

When I look at the list, almost every single item also has a negative counterpoint. For instance, I had two interviews last week and I also had two rejections. One of them came as I was writing this post; perfect opportunity to practice seeing the positive.

When I look at the list, I am actually impressed with the number of things that seem to be positive. At this moment, it kind of makes me feel like I really am a negative person. I don’t feel that way but comparing my problems versus my reality it sure seems that way. So, it is something that I will continue to work on.

I will keep thinking praying and listening to try and become more grateful. I will keep writing and speaking to show my feelings. I hope to become a better person in the end.

August 27, 2020 – ‘Tacticool’ Thursday

August 27, 2020 /

There are so many more fun things to write about, but it starts with staying alive. I am going to quote someone, I am going to credit Frank Sharpe Jr on the The Survival Podcast. “Don’t do stupid things, with stupid people at stupid places.” Last night I watched this video in horror at all of these principles violated.

Don’t watch this video all the way through if you don’t want to see the real results of getting shot. I would say stop watching when the shooting starts.

I am not going to go into politics, nor am I going to pick a side here. I bet you can guess how I feel, however I see a clear cut case of both side being wrong. Don’t be here!

Don’t antagonize a group of people carrying rifles, don’t carry a rifle down to a mass protest. Nothing good can come from this. Even if this was your property, is it really worth the potential legal issues from defending it? Is it worth your life? Is is worth perpetuating a situation where neither side feels there is an equitable ending? Who are we going to convince a change in attitude or opinion from engaging here?

I did some quick research, Kenosha is a city that is about 100,000 people. It is close to both Milwaukee WI and Chicago IL. Based on those demographics, it seems like it could be nearly Anytown USA. It would considered a mid-sized town, or a suburb of a major city, or a midwestern town or a blue collar town, or port town or whatever descriptor that fit most towns in the US. It’s in a blue state or is it a red state? Therefore, this is your town.

It was Tom Gresham that said, “If you bring a gun to a fight, it is now a gun fight” whether the other person has a gun or not. I am all for self defense and if necessary, using force to protect yourself. This seems like a case of antagonism and itchy fingers. Since we cannot see the entire context from the video, those facts will have to be sorted out in court. It does appear that the second guy shot was in self defense, but be it as it may this kid is likely in serious trouble. Not to mention, two people are dead – probably because they acted like jerks – but one transgression does not beget another.

I think that I have been clear on my views about freedom and rights. I support the right to have an opinion different than my own. I support the right to be in the minority or to even be wrong. There have been daily protest in my town for months. Even though I think their opinion is wrong, I support the ability to peacefully assemble and express their views. This activity is causing a clear division between people, but it only happens when you engage at their level.

I want to go back to where I started, don’t be here. Don’t bring a rifle to stop a riot, leave when a protest becomes destructive. When you are confrontational to an armed person, you can have Kent State or Kenosha. You don’t want to be the shooter or be shot.

July 30, 2020 – ‘Tacticool’ Thursday

July 30, 2020 /

I am sure that people that read this topic are frequently disappointed that this weekly segment has been week on the ‘Mall Ninja’ or even the hardcore gear scale. That is not really my intent, I do want to get more into gear and gadgets when I have a little more time to plan. But, it illustrates a point that far more important than a whizzbang, zombie laser is skills and objectives. Surf around YouTube and you can find people that make art or musical instruments with a machete. You can find people that dig a pool out of the ground with sticks and materials found around the site.

It is likely the case that with thirty other tools, that instrument could look 100% better or maybe last twice as long. The point remains that 90% of the objective is knowledge and desire and the remaining ten percent is the rest. We tend to get stuck in the ten percent and lose track of what we can do versus what we are able to do.

Growing up pre-internet, I got interested in building furniture. At that time, the only real consistent and available information that I was aware of was the ‘New Yankee Workshop‘. It definitely taught one approach to woodworking but I noticed a theme. Being sponsored by Delta/Porter-Cable, some of the projects were built to showcase specific tools rather than the tools complimenting the work. Of course, knowing nothing I thought it was the only way something could be accomplished. That lead to some dubious purchases early on.

One Christmas, I received a book called ‘The Encyclopedia of Woodworking’. When I first started reading through the pages I was really out of sorts and shocked because Norm didn’t do anything like what was being presented. The majority of the book was working with hand tools, saws, planes and chisels in the traditional way. My eyes were open to the possibility that there could be more than one way to do something.

Stay with me people… not every post is home improvement or woodworking related, I painting the background first. Back to ‘Tacticool’. The reason to do any of these things, have gear, etc is to have something to protect or worth using the gear for. Why would you want to bother searching for holsters and belts and making sure that your shirt doesn’t ride up if nothing could ever happen. It is a lot of extra hassle.

If you don’t have a family or friends or a desire for a better future, then preparing and training and learning is all a Red Dawn type fantasy. So, my last week was the usual marathon of birthdays and family gatherings (more about that some other time). Added to that was grieving for the loss of my wife’s uncle and the funeral preparations. I unplugged to be there where I was needed most.

Protecting what is important in your life is rarely guarding it with menace and force. It is being attentive to the needs of your spouse, children, friends and extended family first. It is imperative that those relationships are nurtured otherwise you will end up wiping down your rifles and counting ammunition alone. I am encouraging a change in mindset to define what is important and what it takes to keep those things safe. We will get to gear and firearms soon.

I also have another camping trip scheduled for next week but one way or another, my future is going to change. I will finish this project I am working on. I will intensify my efforts to refine what I have started here as well as put out more effort on job search. I will also spend time building my relationships, sometimes at the exclusion of other things.