Time is a consistent theme for me. I never seem to have enough of it. There are the things I want to do, I do some of that. There are the things I have to do, I do those things when I must usually dragging my feet. There are the things that I should do that seem like I rarely do those things.

It is always better when time constraints overlap like should/want and want/need. Planning what I want to write about falls between want to do and should do, but definitely not a have to do. Because of that, I didn’t really have a topic today. My choice of free time is going toward my project work. So you are getting a project update today with a helping of thought provoking commentary.

I have the materials and the wherewithal to finish the insulation. But, without light inside the space, I am delaying the final enclosure as long as possible. I would like to get as much of the drywall installed before I finish the final wall. I do have work lights, but they are a pain. I could also install a temporary fixture, but I would have to daisy chain all the proceeding electrical together first and then it would still be in my way.

I have a little bit of framing, blocking and stiffening work to do, they are all on the north wall to. So, I will see if I run out of things to do before I only have insulation to work on. I do plan on buying the drywall this weekend. That will be the last major chunk of expense. In the mean time, I have two pieces of drywall that I had carefully removed before I started.

For some reason, I didn’t push the right buttons to build a career in this line of business. It would have combined multiple interests like business development and hard skills like building. I suppose that it didn’t turn out to be my lot in life but it is really on my brain all day long. As I sit here doing my work, I can smell the lumber and the craft paper of the insulation and it I keep turning to look at my project causing me to get distracted and scheme about my next moves.

Sometimes, I can’t help myself and start cutting pieces of insulation or pull a run of wire when a meeting is droning on. That gets me thinking along the lines of content generation and how I can utilize my skills and interest in that direction. Pretty soon, I am not paying any attention to what is going on. I am sure that God has a plan for me, I am much less sure what it is.

On an semi-related note, yesterday I was listening to the Outside podcast. They snuck one in on me and the subject matter was an interview with a transgender outdoor athlete. When podcasts get too deep into social justice and social engineering, they don’t last to long in my feed. Outside tends to lean that way to begin with but as long as it is not the only subject matter, then I listen with an open mind.

I do not get it, but I do believe that people can be living lives that do not fit with how they are born. It is clear that when they describe the before and after life that the release is genuine. It makes me wonder what it would feel like to feel that way and how a person would struggle with identity and contentment. Fortunately, my problem is more of building and plan and executing rather than doing something that is impossible.

Circling back to time now. In order for me to re-invent myself, I would need to dedicate the time to do so which is hard. I have things that I want to do as well but it comes down to how much pain is the current situation versus desire to change. For that, I will not complain but continue sculpting whatever my life will end up becoming; I guess that if it was quick, then I would already be doing it.

End Your Programming Routine: I don’t think that I was ever planning on talking about let alone connecting transgender to insulation. Regardless, just like all things that I write about, we have to evaluate the data that we have and execute decisions based on what we think has the best outcome. The most important thing to do is to think about the variables and potential outcomes. At least that way, we don’t continue to do the same things for reasons that we don’t understand.