Category: Review

December 12, 2025 – Mere Christianity, Book Three: Chapters 7-12

December 12, 2025 /

Read along: http://www.ntslibrary.com/PDF%20Books/Mere%20Christianity%20-%20Lewis.pdf

Two weeks in a row, what is happening? Did I get my mojo back or have major roadblocks been removed? No. But, I have gotten this far in the book and I would really like to keep the rhythm of at least the Friday reviews going. My neck is feeling a little better than it has in week’s past but this recent flurry of activity really has more to do with topics stubbed out months ago. Don’t hold your breath because we have a valid offer for this house which means that the move is one step closer.

This is the conclusion to virtues that we started last week. When I look at these six chapters as a whole, these are supposed to more important then the ones from last week. There are a couple of things jumbling around in my head, including pride is not actually a virtue but a sin and the opposite of the rest of the group. That weakens the overall argument when things are not completely buttoned up. Below is a couple words on the points of each chapter.

  • Love your neighbor
  • Pride is the worst sin
  • Love without like
  • Christianity is focused on Heaven without any real knowledge
  • Faith is a prerequisite to be a Christian.

When I look at this group, I see all of the most popular sermon topics. Faith, charity, hope, forgiveness and fighting pride are all of the tenants of Sunday morning. This is not to say that chastity or or marriage virtue are not important but they are typically not the focus in my experience. It seems appropriate that Lewis would put the focus on these virtues this week as they are in line with the typical Christian dogma.

I think that Lewis actually make some really good points this week. The Christian focus on things that we have no knowledge such as Heaven are pretty good fodder for non-believers. We like to come off as authorities in things that we really have no basis. In fact, we barely even have sources inside of the Bible and hearsay. While I choose to believe in the Bible, I will admit that the text has some dubious origins. I guess that is the very definition of faith.

Speaking of faith, this is an interesting topic. My definition of faith is belief in something that is not fully provable because of the desire to want it to be true. This can have what I would call good intonations and bad ones. We use that word in context of belief that a new coach will recruit better, hire better assistants, be able to see things other coaches did not. In other words, there is no definitive proof that the future will be better but that we want it to be.

We use faith as a transference of things that are too distant or outside of our circle of influence. I have faith that the fund managers for the mutual funds in my 401K are being executed to the best of their goals. I have no idea if this is true or not, but I want to believe it and as long as the funds are meeting my expectations. I have no idea whether those funds could have made 50% more and I never will because I am not there.

Faith has to have some ambiguity to it. If it is 12AM, it is not really faith to say that by 9AM the next day there will be daylight (in most months). Unless the sun explodes overnight this is more of a fact than faith. We can have faith that we will wake up the next morning, but that is not guaranteed. People of all ages go to sleep and don’t wake up. This is not to mention that there will come a day that will be our last. That being said, the probability that I will go to sleep and not wake up is extremely low. It is not nothing so I have faith.

I used the word dogma earlier in this post. That was intentional. I think where Lewis’ arguments here break down is the overall purpose of the work. You cannot use circular logic to prove something. God exists because you should take care of people less fortunate than yourself. It is commanded through the Old Testament and approached in softer ways through Jesus. That is not proof, the supporting the argument is reinforced by the very subject in doubt.

I don’t think anybody ever said that Lewis was a trained philosopher. Maybe his reputation as a celebrity was the best way to make a convincing argument. It happens all the time in this current culture. I guess what I am saying is that the overall argument is weakening for me. We will see if by the time we get to the end things hold up.

End Your Programming Routine: It is not explicitly stated in the book or in some of the other analysis that I read that we have shifted from proof completed to what is inside of Christianity. I am speculating that this where we are at this point. That being said, I go back to this work being a message of hope during the Nazi air raids of WWII. Strict adherence to Christian chastity doesn’t really do that for most. They might have wanted some faith that their bomb shelters were good enough. I don’t know, I am getting a little lost in the point now.

December 11, 2025 – Nobu: A Memoir

December 11, 2025 /

Do you know Nobu? I really didn’t until I read this book. Nobu: The Memoir is the Left Coast Culinary Book Club for November. Yes, I know that it is mid-December and that is how far behind I am. The good news is that this month we will be doing a comfort themed book with everybody using the Betty Crocker cookbook. I am not reading that one.

So, who is Nobu? He is the celebrity chef that is credited with popularizing Japanese food in America. According to his story, he opened his first and flagship restaurant in the LA area in the mid-1980s. My truth is that I have never heard of him until I read the book, but I am certainly aware of his protégé Morimoto from Iron Chef fame.

I think that his fame to me is a bit circuitous in my life. Living on the West coast, we have always been closer to Asia. When I was in early middle school (about that time frame), we hosted a Japanese Exchange student. My wife had a Japanese student as a roommate (mid-1990s) and they are still close today. This is a long way from eating and liking Japanese food but it was exposure.

This was also the time frame that Japanese cars became main stream acceptable. You have to understand that there was a lot of anti-Japanese bias prior to this point. There were too many long memories about war in the Pacific as a result of World War II. My own grandfather, refused to even be passed on the road by a Volkswagen. But, he did buy a brand new Honda Accord in 1982. As new generations succeed older generations, that icy acceptance starts thaw.

None of that has anything to do with the book but I was setting the table about how this was something new. I won’t give away all of the book but Nobu’s path was interesting. As a result of getting in trouble as a teenager, he was sentenced to supervised training as a sushi chef. That foster relationship turned out to be a globe trotting opportunity for Nobu.

Adherence to principals, proximity and providing something unique were also fortuitous to Nobu as well. This is where he met Robert DeNiro and where his celebrity status became solidified. With DeNiro financially backing exclusive expansion Nobu went from being a principled establishment to a luxury brand.

It is kind of surprising that I had never heard of him before. But then again, I don’t live my life by the Food Channel or food media; I participate in it I suppose. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to the point in the book where he had an establishment in Las Vegas until after we came home. Otherwise, I would have made a point to go there considering I was reading the book on the plane there and back.

I never want to attribute success to luck. I do think that there was a bit of luck involved but I do not want to discount that Nobu created a lot of that luck. He is a big believer in craft mastery and good ideals. This would be things like making sushi to the best of his ability as well as greeting all of the guests at some point in the meal. If he would have just stayed behind the prep station, he possibly would never had met DeNiro.

I think that Nobu’s personality really resonates with me. He has no faith in pedigree. A person may not have all of the ultimate abilities to become a head chef when they are a dishwasher. But, on the other hand they are almost always capable of more. Master one skill and take the opportunity to do the next thing. There is a lot of grounding in that methodology as well. It helps a person have compassion for others.

I have found this in my own career when I started working for these mega corporations. My experience got me hired but my degree status has kept me pretty static over the last five years. I don’t have an MBA and I am not really that interested in it. But because I don’t, I just keep doing what I am doing regardless of the fact that I am capable of so much more. Nobu definitely doesn’t run my company.

He also talks about the concept of fusion as well. Nobu says that fusion is not two dissimilar things put together but a respect for local ingredients adopted under the practices of a Japanese restaurant. He used an example of a popular slider that got nixed from the menu because the Japanese palate traditionally doesn’t use bread buns. They instead developed a rice cake version. I respect that.

End Your Programming Routine: I like this book because I found it inspirational. It is a true American success story. It doesn’t talk too much about the food, but it definitely has inspired me to respect the craft of sushi more than I have. With my experience being almost exclusively national chains and ‘Asian’ restaurants, I really would like to try something made with passion and an eye toward excellence.

December 5, 2025 – Mere Christianity, Book Three: Chapters 1-6

December 5, 2025 /

Read along: http://www.ntslibrary.com/PDF%20Books/Mere%20Christianity%20-%20Lewis.pdf

Hopefully you have all finished the book by now. I have not but maybe you listened to my podcast of excuses yesterday. I really did not plan to just go silent for weeks but my life runs me at this point. Those are the the things that I can do along with the things that I have to do and limited by the things that I am able to do. Enough of that.

Below are the bullet point summary. One for each chapter.

  • Morality is a set of rules that attempt to regulate individuals internally as well as between each other. All rules are equally important and not to be picked and chosen.
  • Prudence, temperance and justice are three virtues essential to Christianity. These are not binary, all or nothing ideals but have degrees of gray that have to be weighed.
  • Biblical views should support political opinions and not run them.
  • Psychoanalysis, very popular and up and coming academic idea is separating the unconscious from free will. This is controversial idea when equating self worth and sin. Those were Lewis’ thoughts.
  • Sexual morality; repress it and get more of it. Yet, Lewis subscribes to the traditional idea of celibacy outside of marriage. It does seem a little counter intuitive.
  • Being in love and relationship love are two different things. This is the concept that relationships change or progress over time. Interestingly, the begins the chapter with divorce and that is why it is important to recognize the progression of love.

It is good that I did this chapter summary weeks ago because I have a hard time remembering what I read two months ago. This is really half of what Lewis was trying to get across but it makes it more convenient for me to split this section in two. What is he saying anyway? I say that the message is that morality is necessary to the human race.

You might say what does morality have to do with proving that there is a God? I would probably be in your camp as well. Lewis tries to make the connection between God and morality. After all, the Old Testament is generally many, many pages of Jewish laws largely about morality. The new covenant sends Jesus to edit many of those laws.

I think that it is an interesting idea that Lewis comes up with that morality is not to control people or sort them out per se. Rather, he has this idea that morality is a training ground for Heaven. Meaning, these are the skills necessary to be successful in Heaven. I suppose that you could say people self select entrance to Heaven by being moral or not. I really do not know how this could be proven.

I really do like the idea that virtues are not binary. When I learned the ten commandments as a child, I learned the words “Thou Shalt Not Kill”. But, I have heard the more modern “Do not Murder” which I think is actually more appropriate. If the commandment was more in my language, then so many biblical heroes would have violated that commandment and could have never been in favor of god. That is also presupposing that there are exceptions for things like war and self defense. My personal feeling is that it would be better to stick to “Thou Shalt Not Kill” but then there are always those gray areas like what if it was an accident? Therefore, I have to agree that morality is not binary.

The world is full of paradoxes. I mean what about surrogate parenting. I really don’t believe that it is infidelity but by the strict definition of fidelity we have somehow agreed that this is a place where a woman bears a child that does not belong to her is morally OK. To play devil’s advocate, what if God was saying that particular couple was not supposed to have kids for whatever reason? And what if that reason was that one of the parents poisoned their bodies with diet or drugs or whatever? Or what if the person just did not want to go through the pregnancy process (Paris Hilton anybody)? The permutations are endless.

End Your Programming Routine: Next week we will get the full effect of this Book and what Lewis was trying to do. It seems amongst the literary analysis there is some speculation that this is a weaker argument then the first two books. I tend to agree but that doesn’t mean that we cant refine a little value out of this. Let’s keep going into pride, hope and faith next week.

November 7, 2025 – Mere Christianity, Book Two

November 7, 2025 /

Read along: http://www.ntslibrary.com/PDF%20Books/Mere%20Christianity%20-%20Lewis.pdf

I have to feel a little bit bad about going dark for over a month. It was never my intention to do absolutely nothing and in fact, I read Book Two in September. That was plenty of time to at least keep this series on schedule as this was supposed to be posted October 4. I kept reading still and there should be no reason to delay any longer.

I have plenty of reasons why I took a break, but a lot of it was that time just slipped away. I was getting ready for hunting and then I was gone for a week and then I had to clean-up as well as a host of other things that needed doing. So, I really had to shake the cobwebs out of my head to try and remember what this book was about as well as the poignant points that Lewis made.

I have to admit, I was born a Christian. I don’t know if my mom still has the audio tape but I was a toddler reciting The Lord’s Prayer as well as some of the Ten Commandments. For that reason, faith is ingrained in my being. There is no question about my beliefs but unlike many faithful and unfaithful alike, I am open to the idea that I am wrong. That is the scientist in me.

Since it has been so long, let me refresh a minute. Mere Christianity was a radio broadcast made for the British people during the WWII German bombing raid as a way to keep hope. Lewis claims that this text is a direct translation of his words without any editing. It would be interesting to see if there is an audio file out there somewhere. I bet so. The bullet points below are the highlights that I took out of each chapter.

  • God has many believers regardless of religious origins.
  • How can bad things happen in a world with a good god?
  • Acceptance of good automatically implies that there is evil. Good has to have evil but evil does not have to have good.
  • No free will, no choice. Without free will then there would be no choice because it would just be pre-programmed.
  • Jesus was manifested as man to better relate to people. God was already supernatural this was a different approach.
  • Without Christianity, it does not necessarily mean damnation. This is Lewis’ interpretation of theology.

There are probably a lot of different analogies I could use here. The one I am going to use is when you are sick. Now, I am fortunate that I have never had anything serious like my wife has gone through but at least it is something everyone should be able to relate to. The last time I was sick (early June) I felt cruddy but not so bad that I kept working and doing what was in my social calendar. You know that when you are living that way, you take for granted what not being sick feels like.

There have been times for me that I have been quite a bit sicker. I felt like all the energy I could muster was to go to bed. I might get up to have some soup or get some water or take more medicine so I could go back to bed. My whole point is that feeling well is very difficult to describe but when you are sick, you sure recognize that sick feels terrible compared to well.

This is my attempt to relate what Lewis is saying without evil there is no good. Just like without sickness, there is no wellness. Without the dichotomy we would probably have no concept or any such vocabulary. Suppose that there were areas of the planet that had air that was not 77% Nitrogen and 16% Oxygen but some combination of poisonous gas. We would have to make a special term for good air versus rotten air. But, since we do not it is not even a concept.

Free will is a very similar argument as good as evil. This is why I focused primarily on that aspect Lewis’s commentary. I have often heard the argument that how can there be a good God when such evil exists in the world? You know, I can’t really answer that but to use Lewis’ philosophy. On my scale at least, I don’t know if there is an equal level of good to evil in this world. I will take solace in the best is yet to come.

End Your Programming Routine: What a bold thing to do. Try to come up with a philosophical argument for something that is nearly unprovable. I know that Catholics claim saints and divine miracles and the like but something extraordinary does not prove the existence of God. But the way that Lewis goes about the argument could only be done by a converted Athiest.

September 26, 2025 – Mere Christianity, Book One

September 26, 2025 /

http://www.ntslibrary.com/PDF%20Books/Mere%20Christianity%20-%20Lewis.pdf

In case you didn’t buy, borrow or check out this book good news, it is in the public domain. I posted the link above for you to read along. I wish that I would have known it before I purchased it. Sure it was cheap, but free is always better.

I will be honest, I didn’t know a stitch about this book before I read it. It was recommended because of some of my other purchases on Amazon. It turns out that this is a compilation of radio broadcasts that CS Lewis did during World War II. It was meant as a morale piece for the British citizens and soldiers who had impending gloom and fear over possible Nazi invasion. I have to admit that I have been enjoying it tremendously because it is a very logical and composed argument for the existence of God.

It’s funny that I get to use my inner scientist and Christian now. They are two things that are not distinctly compatible. But, this Book (1) is all about merging the two. A huge theme is this idea of Natural law and a debatable concept of moral law. Natural law is scientifically provable such as gravity and believe me you can do a lot of math if you want to prove it.

If you need a less technical description, drop something on earth and it will always fall to the ground. There is no choice by the object be it rock or person. Notice I didn’t say if you were in the upper atmosphere or anywhere in the universe and drop something, That is also part of Newton’s Law of gravitation but it puts too many variables into a laymen’s argument. But that makes it absolute, observable proof of natural laws existing and there is no possible, logical argument otherwise.

If we as humans can agree that there are some absolutes, then we can agree on some other things such as morality. Democrats, Republicans, Independents and non-voters alike would agree that you should not walk-up and punch a baby. Before someone says that it happens, I would have to say that those people are not right as in normal. We can fins supporting evidence because the belief is held in China, India, Zimbabwe and everywhere as well.

Humans can agree that there is some universal morality such as don’t steal and don’t hurt other people. So, while I understand the pro abortion argument that a fetus is not a living being, I do believe that it is a warped justification for not taking personal responsibility for the consequences of sex. And this is the counter argument for natural moral law is that it can be argued or debatable.

Despite it’s flaws, the fact that we can acknowledge morality existing without being scientifically provable is a sign of an external force. Why do we agree that stealing is wrong? Animals do not hold such beliefs. This is because they do not hold humanity. Sure, they might be trained not to steal or they might be afraid of the pack leader or whatever analog I am talking about but animal behavior is about instinct. I want food, there is food there, I am going to take it when I get a chance even if it is possibly detrimental to me and my existence. My dog is trained not to eat of the counter and yet if I leave something overnight there is a good chance it is gone in the morning.

Life force is unique to our known world. It is going to be a pretty tough sell to me to say that all rocks will someday be some sort of living entity. I will admit that it’s very existence cannot be measured but on the other hand, we can see the results of when it is destroyed and therefore can empirically see that it exists. I am not completely turned off to evolution theory but I have not seen a link that life consistently strives to improve moving completely from a single celled organism to a human.

If that were true, I don’t believe (and neither does Lewis) that we would have moral law. In that case, people would steal because they can get away with it. Sure, plenty of people do but then what happens when they are stolen from? They don’t like it too much hence they also believe in moral law, just a perverted version of it.

End Your Programming Routine: Pretty cool huh. Next week I will discuss Book 2. It is no wonder this book was popular, it is a well laid out argument without resulting in name calling or condemnation. The book really doesn’t try to justify human existence using the big bang but to use human nature itself to support the existence of God. It is the best argument I have ever heard and the best defense against the lack of hard proof because it is right under our noses.

September 24, 2025 – A Booze Hound’s Guide to Gourmet

September 24, 2025 /

A Booze Hound’s Guide to Gourmet is the September selection for the Left Coast Culinary Book Club. As the president, one of my practices is to let the host select the book/theme for the meal. This one came up in July but we had already set our plans in motion for the month and I try to get things solidified as early as possible so that people have time to find it at the library or order it or whatever the preference for obtaining the book.

I heard that the host selected the book because he was a local author. While trying to substantiate that, I found it rather difficult. I found an Australian, children’s author. I also found drug kingpin as well as the lead singer of Creedence Clearwater Revisited. Who knows.

I suspect that based on the book, this is the author’s seminal work. The website that is attached is still operational albeit very simple and dated. The typeset and formatting of the book looks like it was written in Microsoft Publisher and amateurish. Many of the photos that accompany the recipes have a low resolution and even sometimes un-appetizing look to them.

But let’s not pick at the man, at least he has published a book. To tell you the truth, I look at some of the photos that I take and sort of hold my mouth. Then I rationalize my poor work by saying, ‘hey, it’s free. I am not making a cent on any of this.’ The real truth is that that I get in the heat of the moment and snap a picture. Later when I get ready to write, I look at past history (my pictures) and say to myself that I wish I had done more when I had the chance.

Any man that has fought through formatting hell to get to a publishable book state has my respect. There have been many a document that I have spent thirty minutes to an hour trying to get a page break or text wrap to look correct. I do have to say that technology has come a long way in my career and lifetime since I have been working with it.

The most fascinating part of the book is the backstory. According to McGuiness, he spent twenty years as a charter captain in the Caribbean. While the book doesn’t go into this aspect extensively, I imagine that he is sailing a small group of wealthy people around for a week or more. Part of his duties is to produce the meals and this book is a reflection of what was on the menu as well as meeting expectations by this group of clients.

Informally, I would say that about fifty percent of the recipes contain alcohol. It is not as forward as the title would lead. Alcohol is largely relegated to marinades, sauces and deserts. They are certainly not the featured components of the recipes. The foreword even suggests that they can be omitted if desired.

One interesting thing that McGuiness did was that there was a section of entire meals. In that, he put a Gantt chart for all of the events to plan the meal. If you don’t know what that means it would be like saying twenty minutes in you should be doing x, y and z. That looks like browning the meal, chopping the vegetables and warming the oven. Instead of single recipes that you have to figure out, he has mapped it all out. I like that and I think that restaurants would do better by just telling you how it is going to go rather than the other way around.

I will be honest, I haven’t made anything out of the book. Even for the LCCBC dinner I hadn’t had a chance to finish it or look close enough to make a proper decision on what to make. Now that I have finished the book, I probably will not make anything from it. I just didn’t have a compelling dish that I felt inspired to make. There were a few recipes that peaked my interest, but honestly when would I make a Turducken? Thanksgiving is the only time for the three of us. I asked my wife about risotto and lobster stuffed Cornish game hens, she said too many competing flavors and I have to agree.

End Your Programming Routine: The final verdict on this one is a no. The title is misleading from a novelty standpoint. I am positive that the recipes are fine but I already have a plethora of cookbooks that I could pick out any number of dishes to make a fine meal. It might be worth considering if you timing is terrible and you just want a whole meal already laid out that might be semi-fancy. But that is as far as I can go with this one.

September 19, 2025 – Boundaries, Chapter 17 and Conclusion

September 19, 2025 /

When I was planning on how I was going to break this week out, I really didn’t know what was in chapter 17. The fact that it is a fictional story of the women that previously did not have boundaries and how she was buffered around by life and now she is promoted and in control I find to be a little bit pedantic. With that said, I am not going to address chapter 17 any further.

I won’t say that I did not learn anything from this book because that is not true. But, what I will say is that I found myself annoyed reading it sometimes. The bent toward being too Christian to have boundaries and the anecdotal fiction that ‘read this book and everything is going to be alright’ is problematic. I don’t think that if Dave Ramsey wasn’t constantly pushing it that it would have ever made the sales numbers that it did and for good reason. It just is not that good.

Let us not throw the baby out with the bathwater though. I know from personal experience that when you have deficiencies, it is extremely difficult to change even with cognizance. I really appreciated the perspective that you cannot fix it yourself. Even when you read chapter 17, Jean didn’t change her boundary problems alone, she had a therapist and a support group. I think that is what to take out of this book, serious boundary problems need help.

If you think that there might be a problem, reading this book is a good step in sort of getting a baseline. This also requires that you read it with intellectual honesty. It should be read, digested and contemplated. If you do that, then I think you will eventually come to the realization that there are things that can be done but real change cannot be done alone.

What more can I say? I guess that if someone were to ask me what to do about addressing boundary problems, this would be my first suggestion and really because it is the only one that I know. That being said, this is really not a recommendation. I think that if you knew nothing about anything, “Seven Habits of Highly Successful People” would be much more valuable even though it is not a one for one subject replacement. It is just that if you think of life holistically, one situation shares many similarities with many others even if they are not related.

Another thing about this subject is that there is only one person that can be changed and that is yourself. It is very difficult to deal with someone that is overbearing, especially if you are a pleaser like myself. They have to have the same realization that they have boundary problems and want to do something about that in order to have a day with boundaries.

As I said in the opening week of this series, I have been wanting to read this book for over ten years. I was married into an entire family of significant boundary problems. Just one example was that when my sister-in-law got married, that night they were paid a visit by the parents at their hotel. Years later, they laughed about it because they intuitively knew how wrong that was and yet they never internalized how damaging their constant inappropriate behavior was.

Quite possibly if I had read the book ten years ago, I would have realized that I should probably done some things differently. That is unfortunate because the primary reason for wanting to read the book is no longer with us. Possibly, I missed an opportunity to be a better person earlier then when I realized I also have boundary problems, just of a different nature.

End Your Programming Routine: Let me bottom line this book. I am glad I read it but I really don’t recommend it. I get it that it is intentionally marketed to Christians but I found the biblical case and support too weak. I also think that waving the Christian flag was a crutch for the not addressing the significant numbers of secular interactions we have every day. As an example, nearly every single person I interact with at work is from India and not Christian. It is just not someone trying to be overly godly that I am interacting with. If you have a problem, seek therapy now, don’t read a book.

August 22, 2025 – Boundaries, Chapters 15-16

August 22, 2025 /

I am on the ragged edge, I finished reading this week’s reading with one day to spare last week. I technically had time to complete this entry but I was too busy to be able to write. It is funny that three weeks ago my mind was occupied with organizing my sporting goods and backpacking area and planning my hunting season to the only thing I can think about is this bathroom refresh. It has caused me to be thinking, scheming and working all of my waking hours. Because my mind was consumed, I had to do a heavy refresh on the content.

In theory, we have made it through identifying what boundary issues look like and what those issues are. This week we have moved on to doing something about it. Of course, before you can do something about it then you have to understand why you would not. Chapter fifteen is all about why you would not or struggle to set boundaries.

I haven’t been in this exact situation so I am using speculative language. But imagine that your partner is an abusive alcoholic. What might be preventing you from putting up boundaries is fear of repercussions. What if they hurt me? What if they hurt themselves? It is a pretty compelling excuse not to push boundaries.

The book breaks these resistance reasons into categories of external and internal. External resistances are things that others do as a result of us wanting to set boundaries. Those would be things such as anger, guilt, consequences and physical resistance. Internal resistance would be things like human need, guilt and fear of the unknown.

I know that I have been guilty of both internal and external resistance. The first and most significant hurdle for me is always internal. I do a lot of thinking before acting and that has a habit of building up in my head. I also tend to be way more passive then most others and I rationalize that I will ‘put up’ for a certain amount of time. What I don’t really realize is that action of ‘put up’ also tends to build up. It also feels like after I have put up for a certain amount of time that it then seems insignificant or too late to bring up boundaries. What a mess.

It is all well and good to have a bunch of new information and potential skills, but how do we know that we are making progress in our new boundary filled lives? This is what chapter sixteen is all about. I would simplify the chapter by saying that there is a progression of life becoming happier and more fulfilled. To be a slight more succinct, you find yourself gravitating away from the boundary violators and more toward like minded people. While boundaries are becoming solidified you start moving towards more personal freedom and satisfaction.

I often wonder why I have a tendency to live and let live. In contrast, there are others in my life that insists on intervention and confrontation. Both have their virtues for sure, but I am probably way too laissez-faire. On the other hand, I find this other person way to contentious. But, when the two are effectively combined, probably the right outcome. The way that I rectify my attitude is that my boundaries with others are well established. And what I mean by that is that I am content with where I am at.

This is not to say that I have a good grasp on all boundaries. Because I am hands off and this other person is confrontational, it often leads to conflict. While I have previously seen it as borderline bullying, I have come to understand that I have not setup good boundaries with this person. The confrontation doesn’t come from a bad place but a place that is comfortable and normal. Effectively communicating better ways to address issues is really on me. As you can see, I put up with it until the situation is over and then we move on again, not solving anything.

There is an old folk saying that I will paraphrase. Never measure with a micrometer that is marked with chalk to be cut by an ax. Setting boundaries is one thing but seeing them in motion and feeling better takes time. Many times we are often so busy fighting the battle that we don’t even realize that we have made progress. We have to use the right tools and perspective for the situation. That also requires some grace.

End Your Programming Routine: Now that we are 2/3 of the way through Developing Healthy Boundaries (section 3), I feel like this section is a bit of a misnomer. Chapter fifteen was all the reasons that we struggle with boundaries and I feel like a lot of this was covered earlier. Chapter sixteen was a mythical outcome of successful boundaries. I am no expert but I suspect that the path can take many forms and still be successful. Next week we will finish Boundaries and the following week we will be starting Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.

August 14, 2025 – Ken Burns: The Vietnam War

August 14, 2025 /

I did it. I Figured out how to watch this without paying $20 per episode ($200 total) to own. I was able use my library’s free streaming service. Granted, it is slightly limiting. You are given 10 credits each month and each movie or episode is 1 – 4 credits. This took me spanning over two months to have enough credits to watch the whole mini-series. But that is OK because I started late in July and so August came quicker than I realized.

I have been a Ken Burns fan for a long time. When I was in middle school, I recorded each episode of his Civil War series. That was so long ago, I don’t really remember that much about it other than I felt pretty satisfied on the subject when it was over. But, it was already a subject I had studied pretty extensively, so most of it was not too revolutionary.

Ken Burns: The Vietnam War was a powerhouse documentary. When I was growing up in the 1970s and 1980s, that war was in the American psyche. Heck, when I was born the US had not even completely and formally evacuated Vietnam. When I was a youngster, most Vietnam Veterans were less than ten years from their service. We are now twice as far away from 9/11 then we were from Vietnam when I was a kid. You betcha it was a sore subject in this country.

I used to believe that the US could have won the war, we just did not fight it in a way that would have. I no longer believe that. It was based on nothing but a sheer belief that Team America had to be the best. Now that I am older and wiser, I can see my naivete was just sheer ignorance. At almost 17 hours, this review probably deserves more than one blog post. I am going to try and get it in one long one.

I have questioned a lot of things about my country in recent years. I am as anti-communist as they come. I believe in personal accountability and yielding the merits of my own work both good and bad. The reason I am against permanent, social safety nets is that I believe that they de-incentivize personal accountability. That being said, I can understand the American desire to contain Communism in the 1940s.

President Truman sent military advisors to Vietnam in 1948. They were to bolster the colonial ruling French and beef up the South Vietnamese efforts aiding the French who were fighting Chinese backed, North Vietnamese Communists. The North Vietnamese wanted two things: to get rid of French rule and to unite the country. A ceasefire in 1953 drew the Vietnamese De-Militarized Zone (DMZ) directly resulting in France’s withdrawal from Vietnam.

In a subversive way, France drew the United States significantly deeper into the conflict by playing on the US weakness for stemming expanding communism. But, they were smarter than us and when France abandoned Vietnam, the left the United States with the bag of supporting South Vietnam as it was now called. Puppet elections and widespread corruption left a completely dependent country on foreign support both militarily and financially.

Clearly, hindsight is 20/20 and the Domino Theory of Communism advancing did not happen. The question that I keep asking myself is ‘why is it that America thinks it is our business to get involved in other nation’s affairs’? Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson and finally Nixon all knew that we were not going to win this war and yet the first three kept escalating the war. I strongly believe that Nixon would not have ended it if it were not for his utter fear of total revolution. He had no choice. But it still took seven years for that to happen.

For those of us who did not live it, we may think that of all of these events in sort of one big, grab bag called Vietnam. As an example, there was always protests and civil unrest. It was the Tet Offensive of 1968 that really changed the country’s mind. Due to the US getting completely surprised and most of the South Vietnamese soldiers on Lunar New Year break the illusion was shattered. How could the US be winning the war and yet they needed to double the troop size from a quarter to half a million men? Clearly we were being lied to about what was happening and the country got mad.

Out of that grab bag also came Watergate. While my impression was always Nixon was a slimy POS, This film gave me a whole new perspective. When it was apparent that Nixon was going to win the 1968 election, Nixon started negotiating with North Vietnam and the Viet Cong going outside of the official government channels basically signaling that there was going to be a change in US policy focusing on peace with dignity. We know this because Johnson had bugged Nixon’s phone lines. Knowing that was illegal, Johnson never divulged this information nor that it was happening at all.

I tell that anecdote because it was my impression that it was only Nixon who was a crook. But, what it really told me was that corruption was already in place for both sides. Just like they were fighting a war that was already known to be unwinnable, they were playing the public as fools with almost everything they were doing.

What all of this has ultimately crystallized to me from all of this was that this is the true legacy of the GI generation. From a remarkable victory in World War II to a stalemate in Korea to an utter defeat in Vietnam. Granted, I know that this is way more complicated and mixed, but it was the GIs that fought in World War II, advised in Korea and lead in Vietnam.

The best I could say about all of this is ‘travesty’. Americans lost around 58,000 soldiers the North Vietnamese lost 2.5 million people. That is just killed, then there is wounded and invalid and there is nothing to say of the psychological effects. It is true the country was united in government and boundaries but they were as divided as ever. Vietnam struggled to thrive economically under communist policies.

End Your Programing Routine: For what? What was this all for? This war was an homage to arrogance and resulted in futility. I have been to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial and stood back and watched in solemnness as the tears flowed while names are traced of friends and loved ones that were killed. It was powerful and humbling to realize that now over almost thirty plus years some people were still struggling to move on. What can you say, possibly it is worth $200 to watch.

August 8, 2025 – Boundaries, Chapters 13-14

August 8, 2025 /

It is hard to believe but I went from being weeks ahead to almost not making it this week. I really had to buckle down and get these chapters in the book read. Fortunately, my wife had a long doctor’s appointment allowing me to get half of my reading in the other day. That motivated me to finish the second chapter in time.

Even though the whole notion of boundaries is of personal nature, this week is even more so. Chapter thirteen is all about boundaries with yourself and chapter fourteen is about boundaries and God. I know that there is different theology at play here but I believe that essentially there is a lot in common between internal boundary problems and Christian relationship boundaries as they are largely one sided and often occur in private.

We will go chronologically in our review today. The idea that internal boundaries exist is kind of novel and I can certainly identify with that. My wife says that I always live inside of my head. Despite me writing every day and espousing opinions, I would wager that people really know nothing about me.

I am reserved and have a go along to get along personality. What that really means is that I play poker face pretty well. I generally tolerate nearly anything for a short duration with an eye toward the future. That means I may be really not meshing in social settings but I will change that in the next opportunity I get. Meaning I might say that I wish to never be in that position again. That doesn’t mean that I don’t make an effort to be cordial and social for the time being.

Cloud and Townsend claim that there are seven areas where people struggle with internal boundaries. Those would be food, money, time, task completion, words, sexuality and substance abuse. What is revolutionary to me is that they claim we need accountability to change and cannot be done alone. This is a nicer way of saying that there is no such thing as willpower. I have always been in the camp that you can do anything you set your mind to, but I can see this perspective as well.

It might seem obvious, but it is their claim that often these internal boundary conflicts are in response to external boundary issues. It is a form of self sabotage. I eat and gain weight to not be attractive because finding the right partner is difficult. That is just one example.

I believe that this is why I struggle with empathy. I have always believed that internal boundaries are largely within our control. With that, if you are not willing to put in the work, why should I? What was revolutionary to me was that this is a process of try and fail and the accountability partner not only has to understand that but also coach and encourage through that. That can be a very anguishing process for all parties and something that I am not particularly good at.

The steps that Cloud and Townsend say are necessary to change internal boundaries are as follows: identify the symptoms, find the root, identify the conflict, take ownership, ask for what do you need and begin. I won’t spend any more time with that as this is already running long but read the chapter for more details.

This was a great chapter for me. It ended with an opinion on victimization. They define real victims are in circumstance where they have no control. To me, that becomes a very small group of people. Overeating is not being a victim, a child being sexually abused is almost certainly a victim. In today’s diminishing woke world, there were a lot of people stealing TVs in a riot rather than having a boot on their neck. I am just saying that the claim of victimization needs to meet a defined set of circumstances.

Moving on to the next chapter I also got a new perspective. I never considered the idea that we have boundaries and god has boundaries. The chapter uses biblical examples of where boundaries were exploited. The whole idea of asking during prayer is a boundary issue. Is it justified? Have we ‘earned’ it? Is there a greater plan that we cannot see at work?

Just because we are not granted our prayer now does not mean that it is not going to happen. I thought that it was an interesting perspective to present that possibly the asker has not tried hard enough. Imagine what life would be like if every prayer was answered when asked? It is definitely the idea that there is no success without failure. Why is that? Because we need to learn the boundaries of what works and what does not and the variables that play into those situations.

Those of us with children will recognize the crocodile tears scenario. Let them stew for an hour and they will move on. If they don’t give up, then eventually we will come to recognize that this really is something that they want. And at that point we can make a plan to enable what they want like earning money to purchase. Giving up is a certainty that it will not happen. The same is apparently true with prayer. I never thought of it in such a way.

End Your Programming Routines: This week really resonated with me. I know that I have some personal boundary issues. They stem from my inability to confront something, I am not sure what that is yet. It is also really difficult to take a personal problem and ask for accountability from someone that may not even know that the problem is occurring. As I struggle with empathy, it seems like a bridge too far to ask for help. We will see how it goes.