Category: Philosophy

November 25, 2021 – Happy Thanksgiving

November 25, 2021 /

I don’t often wear my Christianity on my sleeve but today I want to put it out there. We can be thankful for all the things we have and have done but I believe in putting the praise to my creator and savior. 

This has been a year of transition. I have been employed all year, some of it with Amazon and the majority with Cognizant. While I am not completely happy with what I am doing, I am grateful that I have a degree of stability and a solid income.

I am happy that my family is thriving. My wife continues to move beyond her health problems of ten years ago. Each one of my kids are becoming their own individuals and in a few short years will become independent. This trip to Texas is part of getting in our last bits of childhood and family as we know it.

I am happy to have this forum. While I haven’t done all the things I have hoped to have done, I find writing cathartic and a form of therapy. In some ways, I don’t know if I would enjoy podcasting as much. I do think that I will make an effort to try next year. While blogging may now be passé, I enjoy it. In some ways, I like the fact that there are few regular readers because it is like my own public journal. Don’t get me wrong, I am pretty sure that I would like making this my full time endeavor, it is little steps at time.

There is a phrase that says stability breeds complacency.  I know that to be true.  I was happier when I was free (read: unemployed) but I was scared and still am to a degree about the future.  I guess when I get to the end, I will know for sure whether I made the right decision.  My retirement account was drained to get us through those two years.  Now, I need to not only build it up but also make up for lost time. 

Was it worth it to essentially end up at the same place?  My going in plan was to build a business that could earn an income such that I could compensate for my future plans, more like passive income.  Since I have not exactly done that, there is a degree of uncertainty that follows me around.  I think that leads directly my next item to be thankful for.

Hopefully, we all continue to grow and I think this year my spirituality has grown. I have had a more intimate relationship where I have ‘heard’ things that I never had.  I always thought that I was open, but this year I have made attempts to reconcile and seek answers with prayer.  It feels right.

End Your Programming Routine:  I don’t know if this is true or not.  It was said that the pilgrims took a break to celebrate and praise God before the long New England winter.  They didn’t know if they would make it to the next year or not but they did what they could and hoped for the best, knowing that this life is only a vessel to the next.  That is Thanksgiving.  

November 22, 2021 – On the Road Again

November 22, 2021 /

This is new. It has been a long time since we have lived significantly apart from close relatives. We are on a big family road-trip from Oregon to Texas so that we can spend Thanksgiving with my wife’s mother. Our family has done some long trips, but we rented a van and we are also going with my sister-in-law’s family.

When you start to look at the economics of the situation, nine tickets costs roughly $3600. We plan on spending half by hot switching drivers and bee lining to Texas. Granted, we will lose time but this is an adventure. We may never do this again but it is something to try.

There are definitely risks. Weather and crossing the Rockies leave uncertainty in the trip. Looking at the weather mid-last week, it was looking clear for the shortest direction, due southeast. The actual decision for the travel route was decided right before we left.  We travelled the Southwest route which was nice because I had never been on that particular freeway.

Being new at my job, I barely have any time off. So, I plan to working a couple of days as well. It kind of sucks, but the real point of the trip is to provide the family with an adventure. I have stubbed out a couple articles for the week, so we will see if I can keep it up this week.

This is the culmination of a difficult fall. My in-laws originally went to Texas in the early summer to seek treatment for my mother-in-law. Between my father-in-law dying and my wife trying to maintain a job and manage treatment at the same time, hopefully this is a celebration of a new season. Because her prognosis is not positive, this may be our last Thanksgiving and so we are pulling out the stops to make it happen.

I am going to write more about this evolving situation, but not now. It is real, it is raw and it is personal. While everyone has the right to manage their own affairs and control information as they see fit, it doesn’t mean that those decisions don’t have a billiard ball effect. One person may be at peace with the situation while others may have different feelings. It may ultimately be your decision and your outcome but those decisions have consequences. We all have a responsibility to handle them in an appropriate fashion even if we perceive them as ‘not what we would do’ particularly when we are observers. That is so difficult.

Most of the post was written before the trip.  I am in Houston now and I will summarize some lessons learned next week.  I already have all of the posts for this week planned out since it was a holiday week and we were on the road I wanted to get a jumpstart on everything.

End Your Programming Routine: The kids are out of school all week, it is a holiday week so why not? Even though we have done similar things, my sister-in-laws family has not.  

After arriving last night at 1 AM, there are definitely things I learned about our choices that I will share.    For now, going to enjoy a little warmer weather and hopefully get a chance to see some new sights and enjoy some family time this week.

November 17, 2021 – What Does Two is One Mean?

November 17, 2021 /

There is a saying in preparedness that is turned into of a nursery rhyme. It ultimately starts to get ridiculous but I think I can build a reasonable use case today. It goes like this “Two is one and one is none, three is for me…” Apparently, it is a saying from the Navy Seals.

As promptly as I noticed my desktop working last Saturday, it stopped working again. I was able to post on Monday and I was back to the laptop yesterday. There was an update Monday night that I purposefully ran and then things stopped working. That of course re-ignited my quest to resolve the problem for a number of reasons. The first was that carrying two laptops was heavy. The second is that we are off to to Texas on Friday and I am going to be working several days while there, so that means two laptops again.

The truth is, I could probably get by using my issued computer, but I don’t really want to do that. All of my linking to One Drive and other services I use to make this work would mess with my business configuration. I still suspect that this problem is something to do with WordPress for reasons I will outline below.

So what does two is one, one is none mean in this scenario?

DeviceOSBuild
DesktopWindows 10 Home21H1Not Working
LaptopWindows 10 Home20H2Working
iPhoneIOS14.8.1 Not Working
iPadIOS15.1 Not Working

The reason I am thinking the problem is with WordPress is the apparent ‘random’ behavior of it working. Doing nothing over the course of a week and it works, after not working for two weeks prior. Then running an update and it stops working.

The real reason however is that it works on one device and not three others. Device problems should manifest as working on three out of four devices or working on one operating system and not the other or working with one browser but not another. There are of course other variables that I have also tried

  • WAN connection type
  • Browser
  • Hardware configuration
  • Other installed applications

Looking at my list of variables, I do have some things that I haven’t tried. For instance, I have tried wired and wi-fi but I haven’t tried cellular. Although, for my one device that is working is on wireless. Low and behold, when I switched off of wi-fi to cellular only, I can login to the post editor on my phone.

That potentially rules out operating system. It also narrows down my focus to something to do with the internet. I have already rebooted my equipment, refreshed my DNS setting and cleared my browser cache, but I will keep looking in this area for the answer.

End Your Programming Routine: I am sure the Navy Seals meant that if you didn’t have an extra magazine and the one you have is broken, you are ‘f’-d. In this case, I am trying to convey that without extra devices and connections, I would never be able to troubleshoot, let alone continue to post. Maybe, I would put more urgency if I only had one device but I have tried pretty hard already. I do think I am getting close.

November 16, 2021 – I Have the Need to be Doing Something

November 16, 2021 /

My wife says that I can never be in the moment. I think that is largely true although never is a strong statement. I would say that it is probably more like 90% of the time. Next week, I will take Thanksgiving Day and have zero expectations. The other days will be fair game to either doing something productive or most likely wishing I was.

Throughout my school years, I read a lot. I really do mean a lot. During that time, I probably averaged a book a week. There were some times where I would read two or three books a week and I have written about what the library means to me. But, over time something has changed in me.

It is the same reason that I barely watch TV, or even stream shows at my convenience. I won’t sit down and watch football unless I can fold laundry or shell walnuts or some other task. I definitely know it has driven my interest in podcasts and radio because I prefer to listen to a game rather than watch it.

I am pretty sure that my problem is that I don’t consider family time or relationship time as important as well as TV time. Before I am harshly judged, hear me out. I don’t think it has been a conscious decision but something that is uniquely me. To describe it, I would say that once I make a value judgement, I stop looking for supporting or contrary information i.e. my relationship.

This of course has consequences. Descriptors such as cold or aloof have sometimes been used. It also means that I have to try harder at not being some of those things which I largely fail, but I keep trying. For instance, I have a daily reminder to ‘say something nice’ or give a compliment. That causes me to stop and try to plan a moment to be complimentary.

Now that I have bared my soul a bit, the rest might make more sense. My long term goal is to reorganize the basement. I am probably over the half way point but I have hit a stall. While messing around with the turntable and stereo system, I set it up on a desk that I would like to get rid of. To get rid of it, I want to build a table for my office so the stereo system has a more permanent home.

Last week I was gone, next week I am going to be gone and now Christmas is coming and that is a manic time. I feel like I don’t have time to start a new project until the new year. This leaves me feeling restless and that kind of work is my therapy.

While travelling home last Friday, I finished my book with about half of the flight remaining. I watched most of Roadrunner: A film about Anthony Bourdain. One of his friends analysis was that when on the road, all he wanted to do was get home and when home, he wanted to get back on the road. He was restless because of the guilt of being gone and when home he had the wiring to do something else. Watching the documentary, I had no idea that we shared so many personality traits (besides those mentioned previously).

To make matters slightly worse, my idea of priority and my wife’s are different. She sees building a sofa table as something I want to do because I want it. Which I do not deny that I do, but I see it as a part of a much larger picture. She wants me to build a rack for the garage to more efficiently store kayaks. That I might point out is also another goal but in mind, that one will cost more money to do.

So, you can see my dilemma, between conflicting priorities and choppy schedules and my personality, I am pacing around with the free time I do have. I will do both and they will get done, I just need to get through this time. Part of what I have unsuccessfully tried to do while I am travelling is to plan for when I get back. I just haven’t been able to really effectively do that on business trips.

End Your Programming Routine: If it is not this project or this trip or this circumstance it is another. I need to continually balance my personality with the rest of life’s priorities and that is not easy. The best way that I have found to do it is to block small hours daily so I feel like I make progress on my projects while leaving time to cultivate relationships. I am going to try.

November 8, 2021 – Even Seasoned Travelers Make Mistakes

November 8, 2021 /

Here I am six hours early or is it two hours late? Well, to be honest it is the latter. I am dealing with old ideas and paradigms in a new world I guess. I used to be Delta Platinum when it was the highest tier and a Hilton Diamond member. That meant I spent a lot of time on the road.

I am travelling for the first time in three years for business or pleasure for that matter. My flight was at 6:15AM so I planned to be at the kiosk for check-in one hour early. It takes an hour and fifteen minutes to get from my house to the airport with no traffic. There is no traffic at the four AM hour.

What I didn’t count on was the check-in kiosk was broken. So, I tried four times before I switched to another kiosk. By that time ten more people got in line before me and I only packed to check my luggage. By the time I got to the counter, I was too late to check my bag on the flight because there is a forty-five minute cut-off (which is new) and they would not send my bag on another flight (which was also new).

Fortunately, I am flying to a hub airport and there are additional flights throughout the day. With my new job, I have to book through a travel portal and I didn’t see later flights as an option otherwise I would have forgone waking up at three in the morning. So that is something else new I learned on this trip.

Sometimes with flights this early, I would choose to stay at a hotel where the cost of and overnight stay was equal to the cost of parking for the week. That way I was only a fifteen minute ride to the airport. I completely forgot about that option and I am kind of weirded out by how constrictive the rules and travel policies are so I am trying to be conservative in my spending. Plus, I would have had to book it on the front end.

I have slept through a flight before but I have never been at the airport not quite on time. This formula for leaving and time is the same one that I have always used but I didn’t count on the environmental changes. Probably, I am out of practice as well and a few minutes here or there was just unforgiveable.

Today is a travel day anyway. It kind of screwed up my afternoon plans to meet my boss face to face for the first time but I have no other commitments. I will cross security at some point in the next hour to hopefully find some breakfast and then wait five more hours. I have always said that I am willing to be late leaving, coming home is another story.

I suppose I didn’t need to check my bag on this trip. It is only four days. My standing rule of thumb is I only carry on if I am travelling first class or with a group of people that are also only carrying on. Why? I think it is a huge hassle at security and I am not really time constrained waiting for baggage. I find trying to get overhead space a pain and my company is paying the baggage fee anyway. Plus, I can bring items on checked bags that I can’t carry on and that is the real reason.

End Your Programming Routine: What did I learn? I need to add another half an hour to check my bag. It probably wouldn’t hurt to check-in online ahead of time so I can skip that step and go directly to the drop-off. I also need to seriously consider going carry-on only. These are all reasons I dread air travel. It has no magic for me and I am proud to say that I have no status with any airline, hotel or rental company anymore. Those perks are nice when you live a miserable life on the road, I am happy here. I just need to realize that things change.

November 4, 2021 – What Has Changed Since the Ice Storm in February

November 4, 2021 /

Yesterday, I had a conflict that left me away from home a large part of the day. I am also going to be travelling for business next week and I am not sure that I want to take a second laptop or not. Since I cant get this to work on iOS, I may be AWOL next week.

February 16, 2021 I wrote about lessons from a winter storm. One of my biggest holes were things related to energy. I didn’t have a lot of supplemental heat for comfort or electricity to protect my freezers for an extended outage. March 31, 2021 I wrote about the shortage of everything which now seems to be common knowledge. The linkage between those two was that I was having a hard time finding fuel storage namely propane tanks and fuel cannisters.

It wasn’t until mid-summer that I saw both of them come back. When they did, they weren’t at the prices they were before they were gone for months. So, as a good prepper watch the availability and price and buy when both are optimal and not needed.

The propane is flexible. With my little heater, it can run on 40 hours per cylinder. I also have adapters that can run the stove and other things. Combine this with my kerosene restocked (around 200 hours) and the fireplace we have way more supplemental heat potential.

I have been buying gas cans when they go on sale. This is to power the new generator that we have which was unfortunately part of Olivia’s inheritance. I really don’t have a clue about runtime here, but the strategy is all about rotation. The idea is to store the gasoline up to one year and then pour it into the vehicle and replace it. I have enough gas to swap it out every two months throughout the year.

Looking a little more long term, I still have on my list a couple more items. One is another inverter for converting vehicle power into energy. The idea is to have one inverter per vehicle so that they can be used as makeshift generators. I would also like to add a suitcase type generator because they are light and portable.

Also, I would like to build up a better supply of firewood as well. But, since we mostly burn in our firepit, most of my supply is actually garbage. Meaning, I largely burn off cuts and smallish branches from pruning. I am on the look-out for some inexpensive wood supply That takes planning and effort, so that will largely be an opportunity where I have the time to do it.

When thinking about a longer term outage, there are other considerations. For instance maintenance. The generator that we have was supposed to have the oil changed after five hours and then every hundred hours afterward. I am pretty sure the first change never happened and supplies are needed to run as long as you have fuel. I drained the fuel and then changed the oil so it should be ready to go.

End Your Programming Routine: “Two is one and one is none” is the preparedness mantra. In many cases I had one or none when the ice storm hit when it came to energy. Now, I am in the space of one at least. Flexibility and options rule the day when the cards are down. Fortunately, we have largely been fortunate when it comes to power outages over the years, As the saying goes, Fortune Favors the Prepared.

November 2, 2021 – Why I Continue to Hunt When My Success Rate is Near Zero

November 2, 2021 /

Over the years, I have shot three deer. If I started when I was eleven and now I am forty-six, that is thirty five years of buying tags and two of those were when I was still living at home. To be fair, I only hunted one year in college and I took a multi-year hiatus while I was getting settled.

I have always had an exploratory heart. I often wonder about the road that takes off the highway and goes off into the unknown. I fanaticize that this is some secret access point into the woods that no one knows about. But it goes even deeper than that. Today, I am sharing some of the things I saw last weekend to justify why I feel this way.

Have you ever seen spawned out salmon? Me neither. It is not super clear but the picture above is two dead salmon that have finished their lifecycle. They were born in this stream, went to the ocean for several years and came back to reproduce. Once that happens, they die. They were probably 24″ long. In fact, as I looked across the creek, I saw probably twenty of them in this one spot.

Pictured above is the Elderberry fruit. Normally, they are ready to pick around Labor day and it is highly unusual to see them this late in the year. Elderberry is high in Vitamin C and is prized in herbal medicine for it’s immune boosting properties. Outside of that, it is used for jelly, syrups and brewing adjuncts. Some day I want to pick a bunch of this and do something special.

How about a hiking trail in the middle of nowhere? At this point, I could lead someone to this spot, but to be able to provide directions would be nearly impossible. Roads in these areas are cryptically marked and there is a patchwork of tribal, timber company and public land. I don’t think this is the beginning of the trail because there is no parking, I pulled off the road to snap this picture. Who knows if it goes somewhere interesting.

The difference between private timberland and public land is stark. Above is a slash pile resulting from a thinning operation. That pile will likely be burned in the coming weeks. In fact, I saw multiple active burns while I was up there. Policy since the 1990s on public land has essentially left it to grow wild. In this area that is a patchwork of public and private you go from dark woods to very open and actively managed forest land.

End Your Programming Routine: Friday is the end of deer season. Saturday is opening elk season for some areas near me. In all of my years hunting, I have never seen elk during the deer season so I don’t bother getting a tag. The elk season only lasts for one week anyway. As I close out this year, I know that I haven’t put a ton of effort into being successful but I feel like I had some new experiences. I went down some new roads and have a better feel for what I want to see next year.

October 15, 2021 – That’s Not a Knife

October 15, 2021 /

It’s Friday and maybe a day for some humor.

For some unknown reason, my in-laws were overly influenced by infomercials. We have seen the copper pans, the Emeril Pasta & Beyond, the Sweepa (buy one, get one free) to name a few. I think buyers regret sometimes set in and then we were the recipients of ‘gifts’. One time, my father in law bought was a whole lot of cheap knives.

I subscribe to the buy once, cry once mantra. It is why I have a 2003 pickup that I have owned since it was new and a paid off 2010 vehicle. I plan to get the most out of them. When it comes to tools and gear, I look to the premium side first because I think you get what you pay for. I should also say that I am big on value as well. If something at $20 is 90 percent as good as something that is $200, I am going to side on the value proposition in most cases.

I am sorry to say that knives made in Pakistan don’t make my definition. They were poorly built out of poor materials. I knife is not just a knife. It needs to take and hold an edge to be effective. While these may resemble knives, they don’t do either. To top it off, there were fifty of them. In that lot were some that were extra special, like below.

That’s right. I have a sword that came out of that lot of knives. I can’t remember the exact transaction or timing, but one day my father-in-law brought this over and said that I was to give it to one of my kids one day. It has been a number of years ago now, maybe ten.

Now, this is not a jab at my father-in-law or even my relevant disgust for As Seen On TV habit. I do intend to give it to one of my kids, because it was his wish. And, I cant wait to do it. I am sure it would hurt to get hit by it and I think it could do some damage. But, it is not sharp other than the tip. I think that it is cast aluminum, not even steel. The whole thing is heavy and awkward.

About eight months ago, two people were killed in this very town with a sword. A very strange and bizarre situation were three men were high and got in an argument, somehow two ended up dead. There were little terms of details released about this to the media. Those were the first two murders I have heard of in the sixteen years I have lived here. That is to say that violence is pretty rare.

End Your Programming Routine: So, I have talked about cheap knives and murder, where is the humor? I guess the humor is getting a white elephant out of the blue, which happens to be a sword which links to the two stories together. I do think that he genuinely thought this was a worthy endeavor. For now, I am the custodian of the transaction and my son can do as he chooses when he is old enough to take possession.

October 4, 2021 – Let the Pictures Speak

October 4, 2021 /

This was my view when I woke up yesterday morning. You are looking at Mt. Thielson in central Oregon. As I said on Friday, I was going fishing last weekend with my family. Because of Covid, because of everything that went on this summer, because of some philosophical differences I have with my wife, this was the first and probably only family campout of the year.

Nearly everything was perfect, nearly. The only thing that wasn’t great was the fishing but it was OK in that we caught some fish. The weather was in the mid-seventies, the lows were above the freezing. The wind was light and the company was nice.

A little bit about my philosophical differences with my wife. We both enjoyed camping when we met. It is just that her idea was a camp ground that required showers and bathrooms with running water. I would say that I am not entirely opposed to that concept but there are so many beautiful and new experiences that we could do that are limited by that criteria. Over the years our necessities grew as well and required a trailer or second vehicle to haul everything that I get burned out just packing.

I suspect that at some point, there will be an RV in our future. With that, there are definitely more creature comforts and hopefully less packing to get out the door. I would also like an RV from the standpoint that it makes it easier to enjoy some of these places like I was this weekend without the constraints of running water required.

My goal this time was to be light and agile. I did bring some extra stuff like my hunting pack (just in case) and camp chairs (and the dog which was easier than finding someone to watch her). We only brought no cook or freeze dried meals which made cleanup easier and cooking faster, so we could spend more time fishing.

You can see my biggest freshwater fish I think that I have ever caught. I measured it at 16″. That is on the dinner menu tonight. That was the only fish I caught. Unfortunately, my son didn’t catch a fish. I think all told, our party caught around twelve in the duration of the trip from Thursday to Sunday. Not great when you consider the limit of (5×3)4 + (2*5)2 = 80 possible. But hey, I said my favorite kind of fishing was the one I was doing, and that is the truth.

End Your Programming Routine: As I said on Friday, I have passed up too many opportunities to spend time with my family because I have been ‘too busy’. I suspect that if I was not a single parent and not blocked it on the calendar, I probably would have found an excuse to miss this one as well. I am very happy that I made the effort to make part of the trip even though it was a lot of work. I hope that I can get my act together so that this will happen again in the future.

October 1, 2021 – It is Opening Weekend of Deer Season and I am Going Fishing

October 1, 2021 /

Let’s hope that caps the week of food with more food. When I was a kid, I was so excited for opening weekend of deer season. When I was a teenager, I used to dream of when I was older, I could spend more time in the woods. Now that I am here, I hope to get out once in the season. This isn’t going to be the weekend for hunting but I will spend some time with my family fishing.

I talked about this a few weeks ago when I was talking about the decline of the outdoorsman. While my dad didn’t spend months straight in the woods, we did split hunting and fishing about equally. He always has owned a boat and we would go out at least once a year. He would take a fishing trip with his friends usually around Father’s Day. We used to go salmon fishing as kids. So, I like fishing too.

Since my dad has retired, we have been applying for draw tags in eastern Oregon. We get them about every three years. Since we won last year, this year we didn’t and decided to go fishing instead. I have applied every year for the last ten years. But I have only gone one time even though we have gotten tags three times. We did get his rifle sighted in last Friday however.

When I left my job in South Carolina, I moved back to Oregon and joined the company that my dad had worked his entire career. I remember talking with my uncle and he said “That’s great. Now you can have lunch together every day.” I remember feeling a little guilty that I barely saw him, let alone had lunch. And to some degree, I carry some of that guilt today. We live about twenty minutes apart and yet it will frequently be months in-between talking.

I do believe that the quote “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” applies here. But I can’t help and think that there isn’t something slightly wrong with me. If I get truly personal, I am overwhelmed by the size and volume of my wife’s family and when I am not in that I want my personal space.

The events over the last six weeks have definitely had an impact on me. I have seen my parents aging, I have seen the slight decline in physical ability and I know that the horizon is in view. It definitely has gotten me thinking about trying to spend more quality time while I have the chance to do it and I need to be more aware of the signs of decline.

My brother, dad and uncle left yesterday. Me being a single parent right now, I couldn’t swing the time off, I was hoping to leave tonight. but my kids have to play pep band at the football game tonight. So, we will have to settle for Saturday and Sunday. We didn’t do any family camping this year and I have never gone with my kids and without my wife but I am really looking forward to it.

End Your Programming Routine: I don’t really care if we catch any fish although I think it is likely we will. The weather is supposed to be pleasant and I have a good time with that crew. The point of this is to spend some time together doing something we enjoy. It is looking like next weekend is out, but I am still going to get some time in the woods this season before it ends.