Category: Philosophy

June 28, 2021 – What is Hotter, the Temperature or …?

June 28, 2021 /

Yesterday, an all time hottest temperature record was set at 113 degrees. That was after a previously recorded highest temperature recorded in June of 105. Needless to say it is hot for a place were I can remember a summer that didn’t get into the 90’s until mid-August. Even this morning it was 85 degrees at 4:30 AM.

When I was growing up, no one I knew of had any form of cooling in their houses, not even window air conditioners. The advent of the heat pump started showing up in the mid-eighties but it was still very uncommon. When it got into the upper nineties we were hot. We tried to slip and slide, eat popsicles and stay in the shade. Night was a sweatbox in the bedroom that I would estimate was at least twenty degrees above ambient.

Saturday, we had the state trap tournament and it was hot. We were outside all day, but at least when you were in the shade, it seemed bearable. Yesterday felt like nothing I had ever seen before (here). It was like an inferno being outside. Our struggling heat pump did manage to keep the main floor below 80 degrees. We only have central heat on the main floor. As long as you stayed inside, it wasn’t too bad.

I don’t want to just talk about the weather today. When I looked back to last year, I was roofing this time last year. Roofing is nearly always a hot activity at least every time I have done it. The real reason that I am writing this is today is my 23rd wedding anniversary.

It felt like the hottest day of the year even though I looked it up this morning and it wasn’t. It was eighty-five degrees. But, it had been raining all week and we were having an outdoor wedding so it was more humid than normal. Add to that, more layers of a black tuxedo and black rubber shoes and sweat was pouring out of me before the ceremony started. I remember that my feet were actually burning inside those crappy rental shoes. By the time we left on a limo ride to the hotel, we were both sapped and we needed to be at the airport by 6 AM the next day. I think that we were asleep by 9 PM.

When we first met nearly thirty years ago, my wife had a yin/yang flag hanging up in her dorm room. I don’t have any idea where that ended up but it should have been a sign for us because it really describes our relationship. Her family is big and loud, mine is small and quiet. She is passionate and wears emotion on her sleeve, I am stoic and guarded. It makes it really difficult at times because we would both prefer our partners to be more like ourselves.

That is what makes it work because we need what each other brings to the relationship. She needs my temperance and I need her free wheeling. Over the years, we have learned how to push each other’s buttons which have led to some pretty strong disagreements because we are so entrenched in our camp of belief or yin and yang if you will. For instance, I was essentially threatened that if I didn’t quit my job over two years ago then we should consider other relationships. I doubt that I would have ever been so bold as to quit without a parachute. But I can see her side as that I was miserable to be around. I was scare to do it but I was more scare not to.

Not having many comparisons to personally draw from, I would speculate that this yin/yang relationship is more difficult than couples who are more similar. I am sometimes envious of friends where they work on projects together or share the same interests. I think, wouldn’t it be nice if we both wanted to do the same things? It is the reason that I signed up to play softball this summer so that my wife and I could do something together.

I recognize that I have my flaws and contribute quite equally to the difficulty of our relationship. It is definitely not all bad and we don’t live in constant conflict. When we get time alone, we can enjoy time together. We had many years without children and lots of experiences together. We have travelled the world, lived in different places and made many memories. It takes work. I credit my wife for taking the rudder on keeping us on course because I avoid conflict if possible. As much as I don’t like it I recognize that it is necessary to iron out our differences.

End Your Programming Routine: So I ask again, what is hotter, the temperature, our conflict over beliefs, our reconciliation when we get to the root or something else? Every year we take time to do something special, this year we are staying at a new hotel in town. We have the best room in the place with a huge view (and serious air conditioning). It is still forecast to be 109 outside and maybe hotter inside. Hopefully we can make it last another 23 years.

June 8, 2021 – Am I a Fan Boy, Do I Have a Man Crush or Is it Just Respect?

June 8, 2021 /

I have talked about my dabbling into social media in the past. I check LinkedIn almost every day but I don’t interact much because I don’t get any real value from it. I find Nextdoor to be largely busybodies that want to complain about their neighbors and identify speeders with blurry pictures. I also have a MeWe account that I made in 2019.

One of the podcasts I listen to made the entire switch from Facebook to MeWe last year due to privacy and Cancel Culture risks. I initially thought that I was going to push this blog more into interaction in MeWe in an attempt to build this enterprise. But, I just get turned off every time I log in. I am not interested in memes and snark all day long. If Instagram was not tied to Facebook, maybe that is more along my lines.

I want to see people doing cool and inspirational stuff, that is really it. I find that these platforms attract an echo chamber of whatever flavor of ‘room’ you happen to be in. Today, I made my first ever contribution to a post on MeWe that someone else made because I wanted to. It happens to be a group for a podcast that I joined. I have been listening since probably 2012 and the podcast has ebbed and flowed with the times.

The podcast is Harvest Eating. The owner is Keith Snow and he has had a cookbook (which I own) and a TV show (which I haven’t seen). But in the end, he is just a man that I seem to have a lot in common with. He is a about my age with a family is about the same age. We seem to share values about food. faith and politics. People that have lived in my house know his name because he has inspired me to cook things that I might not otherwise, like sauerbraten.

I can’t remember what ‘holiday’ it was but one time my wife ordered some olive oil from him (for me) and he threw in some seafood seasoning because the shipping was so expensive. While that may not be the best business move, it shows that he cares about his customers. It is that kind of caring that has made it difficult to reconcile careers in the corporate world, which I think we both share. We care about the impact that we have.

I suppose another reason that I like and identify with Keith is that he is spontaneous to where he doesn’t just stay in the food/recipe box. I feel like even though I have a formula here, I do wander around and change things on a whim. The basic thrust for my style was influenced by his podcast because I have just enjoyed it. I liked knowing what his kids were doing or hearing a rant about poor cookware or the infamous ‘Chinese Chair’ as long as the I always got some value out of the overall episode.

I have waivered a bit about how much food content I want to have. There are already so many resources and competition out there that I don’t want to be another me too. Plus, I have too many other interests. But, I do want it to be my mixture topics. So, I am going to try and add back more along the food front. Ultimately, I would like it to be once a week.

Over the years, podcasts have come and gone. From Harvest eating, I have learned about and tried sauerbraten, migas, palak paneer, olive oil, crepes with mascarpone, butter, rye bread, fondue, german potato salad and steel cut oats to name a few things. I have improved techniques like a better Thanksgiving turkey, more perfect grilled steaks and Mise en Place. More than anything else, it has sparked my interest in quality ingredients and the effort that goes into them. It probably prompted my involvement into the culinary book club for a whole new perspective and certainly other podcasts.

End Your Programming Routine: I don’t know if I solved my initial question. I have been accused of invoking Keith’s name too often at times. I guess that what I would say is that this podcast pushes all the right buttons for me, it entertains and educates. I am really glad that he has come back to focus on his own business which means more podcasts. I cant say if this will tip the social media scales for me but if you are interested, join us at https://mewe.com/join/harvesteating

May 17, 2021 – The Best/Worst Things

May 17, 2021 /

This is something I have been thinking about for a long time, years in fact. I don’t think that I have completely reconciled until now. I think sometimes you don’t do it until you are forced to make a conclusion. And once that happens, you can keep challenging your conclusion against the evidence.

What is this all about? Well, for a long time at least professionally, I have been interested in doing my part to make the environment better. I get frustrated when the organization does things that don’t make sense or are repetitive. I think that has partially been responsible for me quickly advancing and eventually getting to the point where I end up running my own department. Here is where the best/worst comes in.

In my very first job, I was asked to go to South Carolina to help get a new plant get up and running. They needed someone with some personal discipline to establish the new quality system that a customer was asking to implement. They also wanted some help with maintenance of the computer and controls system. I said yes.

I was starting from ground zero, there were absolutely no expectations and no real plan other than the loose objectives that I was given. I started inventing things to do and ways that I could be helpful and contribute to the overall output. When the fruits of my labor starting paying dividends, I started working on things that I wanted to do. I built cabinets for the lab, I participated in the construction of new space, I learned how to run data cable and I ran new drops every time we needed one. I basically did whatever I wanted to do.

But, because I was successful I started having difficulty with being around others that were not doing as well. It frustrated me that I would work 60 hours a week and others not only worked less but also failed at the tasks they were doing. It felt like I had to do everything I wanted to see it done right. I am being a little coy but for instance my department took over formulating because Quality would always end up having to adjust it in the end.

I got to the point where I needed to make a change even though it would seem like I could do whatever I wanted. I later came to believe that a change was necessary because I just wouldn’t stop. I might have worked myself to death if I was allowed to. I needed to learn how to say no and let people fail, even if it meant that I was going to fail as well.

After a rebound job, I started at a new place. We had chemistry and shared the same spirit at least for the first four years. I built a lot of social capitol within my own office. Then, we were acquired by another company and I was skeptical. Then, I started working with the new people and I was miserable. After three years I got a chance to run my own group out of my office. The first couple of years were great, I again did what I wanted and built and ran my team the way that I wanted to until it became a growing concern within the office.

Management started wanting to help me out and add more things to my group. That included hiring someone to oversee and mentor me. It turned out that person wanted to fundamentally transform my group and I was no longer running it. I suppose what I considered the worst was there were so many problem areas within the company that this was the one that they chose to address, the one that was running the best. I couldn’t take it.

I suppose a bigger man would have tried to get the best out of the situation and I choose to just give up. In my heart of hearts, I knew that no matter what, I wasn’t going to be happy even if things returned to normal. So, here I am with two situations where I was at time completely happy with the circumstances but yet utterly miserable. What is there to learn from that?

How can it be that you get exactly what you want and it makes you hate it at the same time? Is it the pursuit that makes us happy or is the idea or something else? This is the hard part because now I have to figure out what it actually means. My hypothesis is that these circumstances are more of a destiny fulfilled and time to move on. Maybe said another way, when you get what you think you want, you find out that really isn’t what you thought you wanted.

To be clear, I never thought my future was to be a middle manager. I do know that a lot of my assumptions and ideas were validated through the process. Despite the fact that I am confident in the results, it is a hollow victory to be right and validated. It is probable that when someone was driven by spite, there is no satisfaction in completion.

I told my boss numerous times before I quit and even after that he didn’t need me to run the group but he kept insisting that he did. Unfortunately within four months after I left, the entire group was disbanded because over half the group quit, following me leaving. It wasn’t me that was necessary to keep the group together, it was the fact that they fundamentally didn’t understand how to work with and within the group. And to get down to brass tacks, that was the very reason why I wasn’t happy either.

In retrospect, I feel like I should have quit several years before I did. But, then I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to learn what I did from those extra years. To top it off, I am still not sure what I am supposed to be when I grow up. For sure, I am going to keep looking for the answers and hope to not repeat the same mistakes.

End Your Programming Routine: What are we supposed to learn from all this rambling? I suppose that what I would like to get across is to consider your experiences and look for meaning and try to make it better for the next time. Right now, I see myself tracking into the same lanes that I was in before, and I don’t really want to do it again. So, hopefully, it is not too late to avoid a similar kind of fate as some of my previous jobs.

May 3, 2021- New Feature: End Your Programming

May 3, 2021 /

Last week I was listening to a podcast about ‘how easy it is to build a digital brand’. A quick aside here, there is a difference between easy and simple. Digging a 4 x 4 x 4 foot hole is technically simple even with a shovel, but it requires a lot of digging which is hard work. At least for me, I equate easy with not a lot of hard work. It is a bit of a stretch for someone that has been doing it for over 10 years that it is either easy or simple.

I haven’t found this endeavor easy or simple. The technical parts are pretty easy, not simple (for me). The discipline to post routinely is simple but not always easy. The actual brand building is neither. If it takes what I think it takes, I will probably never be successful because I don’t want to engage at the appropriate level. I have tried social media and I don’t really like it. I don’t want to be glued to my phone, I don’t want to be posting cute or snarky comments day after day. I don’t even want to login and scan the posts routinely, I find them boorish and trite for the most part.

However, this is not going to be about all of that other than one particular aspect of building a brand. A tagline, preferably quick, easy to remember and relevant. I was thinking to myself, I already have a tagline but I don’t leverage it at all. I never mention the phrase ‘End Your Programming’. I never correlate what I am saying to how that relates.

‘End your programming’ was something that was personal to me. Yes, there is a backstory and it is more intricate than it might appear on the surface. I write a little bit about it in the About section of this site, but it is more than that. I was the one that wanted to end my programming. I wanted out of the rat race. I had become something that I didn’t want to be. I felt trapped in a high paying career that owned me. I went from running my business unit with full reign and contentedness to having to report daily to someone else and executing their new vision.

It wasn’t that I was not successful before, I was wildly successful. I transformed a business unit from underperforming at best to a team operating at the highest level of the company. My team saved jobs and relationships that my company had bailed out on. I did it with very unorthodox techniques and people that didn’t fit in anywhere else. I was so successful that the company brought in consultants to leverage what I had built and take us to the next level by providing managed services. In the process, they trampled on what made it work and the people in the way. I am planning on talking more about this later because I want to give it the proper focus it deserves.

So, how does this relate to the new feature and what is it? The new feature is the ‘End Your Programming Routine’. A little play on programming but essentially, it is taking the information for the day and putting it into practice. As I wrote about last Monday, I need to find a way to relate my writing or videos or podcasts or whatever I do with this into actionable things people can do to end their own programming. Each day, at the end of the post I plan on creating a segment to apply the topic or at least make suggestions as to the relevance. It is doubtful that this is the secret sauce to success but I hope that it that it changes this from seemingly random topics to something more helpful.

End Your Programming Routine: I like to think that I am self-reflective. I would suggest that continued personal growth is driven by evaluating the things that are important to you. Don’t be afraid to admit when something needs to change to be better or more productive.

April 26, 2021- Good Things to Come

April 26, 2021 /

After a brief hiatus, I am trying to piece time together where I can. I am working more than full time, and my wife was gone over half of last week. In addition, I am trying to build an office so I can keep my feet warm while I work on this project (not to mention work). I had to spend a number of hours this last weekend gathering tax information as well as working but I cleared some of the fog out to come up with some ideas that I want to get out there.

I can feel some of my determination slipping. It is hard to work all day in front of a computer and then dedicate another hour or more to do this. My mental clarity starts to wane as I get into early afternoon and I want to do something physical after work.

An interesting thing happened yesterday. I was watching the piano player play at Worship and I was thinking about how much it appears that he enjoys playing the piano. My mind wandered a bit and I was thinking about how someone turns passion into a career. I was thinking about the local high school drama teacher and how he plays piano and sings and so forth. Since a career in music is a tough go, people that have a particular interest that career field find outlets that may be paying (or not) an related pursuit. At the very least, performing weekly is that sort of outlet.

For me, some of my passions could be money making while others seem to be money burning. But, it shook me back to looking for a way to convert my interests into a career. I have been so focused on making a good impression in my new job and focusing on everything that goes along with that that I forgot where I want to go. Don’t get me wrong, this job is fine but in my heart of hearts I wouldn’t be doing it if I had another option.

It sort of goes hand in hand with this week’s message; focusing on pleasing people instead of pleasing the Lord. I hope that I am right that I think our individual purpose will go hand in hand with God’s will. I believe that it is a test in keeping the mind and ears open. From what I have seen, when people find their purpose, they are happy and at peace with all that entails. Maybe I need to find my outlets outside of work and change my outlook or maybe I need to keep trying? I don’t know. But that stemmed a bunch of new ideas here, so stay tuned.

April 2, 2021- Gone But Not Forgotten

April 2, 2021 /

Today I received an interesting e-mail from the Boy Scouts of America. They still keep track of their alumni. They seem to do a better job than my schools.

I seem to remember getting one of these last year. I suspect that it has to do with my kids being part of the program and me putting my contact information in.

I have talked about some of my experiences before. I may be closer than others who do not have kids in the program or still remain in touch with local resources. So, I do get frequent reminders of the values and benefits from that standpoint.

Even though things have changed a lot, some for the better and some for the worse I still think that it an organization that provides value. One of the things that I find interesting is the growth and development the boys have throughout the tenure. The come in as fifth graders and leave when eighteen, if they stay the whole tenure. Most of them come in as children and leave as a true adult. There is a transition from a timid grade schooler interacting with high schoolers to leading a small organization over time.

When I listen to them talk amongst themselves I can still hear youthful optimism and naivete but to see them in action, the training pays dividends. It’s nice to learn skills and have fun but to be able to practice the fundamentals of leadership is the experience that I see valuable.

This is Easter and celebrating that Jesus died for our new covenant with God. We have eternal salvation if we want it. I hope that you have a great weekend.

March 18, 2021- Ice Storm’s Lasting Effect

March 18, 2021 /

Every day that I sit down in the basement, I get more and more motivated to get started with my office. It is usually 57 degrees when I turn on the lights in the morning. The heater that I wired in barely makes sitting for long durations bearable. Usually, by lunch time I am ready to take a hot shower just so I can warm up my feet.

A little over a week ago, we won a Little Buddy propane heater in a raffle. It came with two, one pound cylinders. I thought that it was a good temporary solution to add supplemental heat. The problem is that one pound cylinders only last for five hours according to the literature.

One of the area’s that I am not too prepared is heat and generally comfort. I always imagined that I would put on more clothes and do manual work. I have a kerosene heater that I use in the shop and I figured that was my fall back heater. Running for two hours, the shop is heated to the point that I can turn off the heater.

But, kerosene is not common in this area of the country. When we lived in South Carolina, you could buy kerosene at the gas station running about the cost of diesel. Not here, I am paying $8/gallon. And to top it off, to buy in volumes of 2.5 or 5 gallons, it is only seasonally available at the stores. From a runtime perspective, a 2.5 gallon jug will last about a week of working hours in the shop.

Propane is a much more prevalent option. The thing that I am noticing is that propane is scarce. It has to be the after effects of the ice storm. There are no one pound bottles anywhere. There are also no larger, refillable containers in stores. Stock is out online as well. I was able to buy a hose that attaches to a 20# cylinder for my heater and I do have one cylinder.

It has been on my list for years to get some more cylinders and attachments. I bought propane conversions for my camp stove so I could also use one pound cylinders. So I have always thought this was a direction to focus but it never seemed like a priority. Probably because I only had one item that used propane and maybe once a year do I use that burner. Now, I am looking to augment my heat and it cannot be found.

I guess what I am trying to say is that preparing is about evaluation, discipline and recognizing opportunity. For instance, the best time to buy gasoline to have on standby is in the winter time when the price is usually lowest. But the worst time to buy it is when the power is off and everyone is either trying to fuel their generators or running the car to stay warm. I evaluated my needs but I didn’t execute the discipline part.

The opportunity part is knowing that some fuels (and parts like wicks and adapters) are seasonally available, the time to buy is when you can. I was able to take advantage of a seasonal close-out and save $4 a jug on kerosene this week. It is unlikely that I will need too much heat until next fall but just like propane you don’t know when you will not be able to buy it, if you wanted it.

I am grateful that I have one cylinder, but I would like to have at least two. One to use and one to fill-up. Some people in my area were without power for a week, so it is possible to have a long term outage. An generally speaking, the outages are because of some weather event be it too hot or too cold or flooding or whatever, so not the best time to have no heat. An event like what happened in Texas was so catastrophic that even natural gas was frozen in the pipes. A lot of things don’t like to run real well when that get that cold either like engines, so consider that.

Finally, related to heat and cold. If you are without power in the winter, don’t let your items go bad in the refrigerator. Put them outside! I am amazed at how many people just let the fridge go bad when they could have shoveled ice from outside into a cooler or even just put stuff outside. When all you’ve got is cold you should at least be able to keep stuff cold. The freezer might be a different situation but the same thing applies.

March 1, 2021 – Goalsetting Versus Priorities

March 1, 2021 /

I just realized that for the entire month of February, I had titled the date as ‘2020’ and not ‘2021’. I guess that I have been in la la land. Now that error is corrected, we can go on in peace.

I feel like goalsetting is a skill that I have a pretty good handle on and a source of pride. Like most people, I have been guilty of saying goals and not actually doing anything about them. In that scenario, the goal is actually not on a path to completion. For instance, I have said right here in this forum the following things

  1. Q1 I am going to develop a business and marketing plan for this sight
  2. I announced last fall that I was going to build front yard garden beds
  3. My current first priority is to build an office to work from

All three of these things I have made almost no progress. My first regret is that planting season is about six to eight weeks away. If I do not get garden beds made, even one, then I will not be able to keep practicing my food producing skills. Furthermore, this is the time to start seeds so that they can get into the ground. I am weighing whether I should even start seeds because I have a competing priority of building an office.

At least I have some excuses for the office project. I am waiting for a proper paycheck to start buying materials. However, there are tasks that require no money at this point such as clearing the space to build, producing the design and plan are essentially free. What it boils down to is priorities.

Most of yesterday, nearly half of my weekend I was pre-occupied with another task. I won’t get down into the nitty-gritty details but it had to do with my kids returning from an overnight camping trip. The stated issue was that there were some gear failures during the trip. We went through the gamut of not participating again to why this current gear wasn’t good enough. In one example we have gone through four different sleeping bags, none of which are adequate.

Again, this was a long conversation (and day). The problem with the gear failure is not the gear but the mindset of the use. Or said another way, it is my son’s toolbox fallacy. If I only had a better sleeping bag, then I would be comfortable instead of improving shelter skills or making a better bedding foundation or picking shelter location.

Bringing back to priorities, my priorities override my optional goals. Being a father is much higher on the list than building an office of a garden bed or setting up a business. Being a husband overrides being a father sometimes because that relationship will span longer than raising children. And without stability in those cases, it is difficult to be successful with goals.

I also consider my career as part of priorities of both husband and father. I wish that I was in a financial position to keep working on building a business rather than working a job, but that is not a reality at this time. In order to consider additional want’s and desires into the priority matrix, they must fit into my existing priority scales. Of course time is a limiting factor that we all have.

Here are some tips that I have for this scenario

  • Set your priorities first, that way you have the ability to triage how you handle your life.
  • Periodically review your priorities and compare them to recent events to determine if you are living according to your values
  • Set reasonable goals realizing that there is only so many things that you are going to be able to accomplish after priorities are handled.
  • Periodically review your goals to determine your desire to achieve them and the validity as actual goals.
  • You have the ability to refocus milestones within goals and deadlines (for the most part). To me, the most psychologically import aspect of achievement is making progress.
  • If you are not making progress be honest with yourself about how much effort has been made or maybe your milestones are too broad and need to be redefined to show progress better.

I also believe in accountability as a technique for success. If you state your intentions and someone is watching or waiting for results then you are less likely to to skip or do things half-hearted. It is true that some cases are successful with personal accountability, but that means that it has to be something that you really want. I know that has been part of my issue. I was hoping that when I say that I want to do something, it would push me to get it done even if I am dragging my feet.

Ultimately, desires wax and wane. I am periodically evaluating my goals against my priorities. But, goals also have to have priority. So, I haven’t fully decided what exactly will change but I can’t possibly do everything as fast as I would like to have it done. But, I am not going to feel bad about it because they are my goals, not anyone else’s.

I am going to go prune the apple tree that I was going to cut down during the winter now.

February 5, 2021 – Testimony Time

February 5, 2021 /

I don’t get religious a lot. I am sensitive to people believing how they want to believe and not getting into their faces about it. That being said, sometimes you have to out yourself when things go the way your beliefs work. I am going to talk in circles for a minute and then I will get to the issue at hand.

I was going to write again about 1984 today. However, I have been working on another deal that came through today. I signed a commitment to begin working in the professional arena again today. That will likely impact my dedication to this project and others that I have had up in the air.

I have mixed feelings a bit. This new endeavor may involve moving eventually. The working hours are Central Standard Time as it is all remote minus some level of travel. I took a significant pay cut from where I left my career in 2019. Despite all of that, there is a phrase that is thrown around in Christian vocabulary, “God provides”.

When I first left my job, mid-April 2019 my plan was to take the rest of the month off, decompress and then decide what my next steps were. I decompressed for a couple of weeks and then I was contacted by a recruiter to interview for a position as the head of Manufacturing Execution Systems for a regional supermarket chain. After I didn’t land that position, I interviewed for several opportunities that had significant downsides like more than 50% travel that I declined. I wasn’t ready to be employed again, at least under those circumstances.

Because of that, I basically took the rest of 2019 off. I was entertaining offers when they came, but not actively looking. My head and heart were not in employment. I knew that I wanted to try and start my own thing but I didn’t get much farther than that.

In the beginning of 2020, my wife and I discussed reality. We were not in a financial situation where I could never work again. Despite that, Covid-19 hit and the job market changed radically. For someone in my position, I was in a difficult spot. I needed to secure employment but hiring freezes were largely in place. Even postings had gone largely virtual. I was in a huge vortex of people needing jobs and no jobs available or known.

In the mean time, we invested a lot of money into remodeling our Accessory Dwelling Unit (little house). It was in sad shape. We could see that our savings was going to be gone by October of 2020. I put some energy into marketing my handyman skills but the business didn’t materialize in a way that I had hoped. Luckily, Amazon was hiring everyone that was qualified to deliver packages. This wasn’t enough income but it was enough to survive. We cut expenses, sold unnecessary items like my Mustang and lowered our needs.

Still, driving for Amazon was not the solution. I have enjoyed it for what it was but another recruiter contacted me right about the time I started driving. I had several interviews in December and then things went cold. I even assumed that I need to stop holding out hope and look elsewhere, which I did. But, low and behold they came back last week and wanted to talk again. That is where I am today.

The story is nice, but now to the main point of what I am writing, “God provides”. This is not something that I take lightly. Maybe my eyes haven’t been open, maybe this was a real test of faith. I have always heard this, but haven’t really lived it. I have always believed that you have to help yourself in the process.

God provided me with a spouse that pushed me into quitting my job in 2019. I have been on a nearly two year vacation. I was able to sell assets quickly that helped keep us afloat. I was given an opportunity to pick up some side work as well as a small steady income until my next opportunity was right.

2020 was an amazing year for me in terms of personal growth. I turned a more faithful and opportunistic leaf that I probably wouldn’t have done if I didn’t make a leap. Believe me, it was a true leap of faith, without as much faith. I can’t really recommend doing what I did, but I think that it worked out for me.

If I was to do it all over again, I would have tried to secure employment like driving for Amazon much earlier in the process so as to not exhaust all of our savings as quickly. That would have given time to build my business in a more organic and sustainable way rather than hope to hit the jackpot in the first spot I dug.

I hold hope that things will click and this will be a good decision, despite my reservations. The worst case scenario is that I can buy some more time to find the next thing. I am going to go with “God provides” at the moment.

January 20, 2021- An In-depth Study of George Orwell’s 1984

January 20, 2021 /

Wow, I have to knock the cobwebs out. And let me say, since my last entry the truth about what our future will eventually look like has been exposed. The move to silence descent against the establishment outed itself in a big way post the ‘capitol riots’. In no way do I condone or side with with the actions to break into the capitol. But, what a perfect opportunity create a tinderbox, build the fuel and when a spark eventually happens, watch it burn.

I know I have been AWOL in the last couple of weeks. Maybe I will go back to this period sometime in the future. I started writing this post on January 6, stubbing out what I thought I was going to write about January 8 before life got in the way. But for now, I want to look at the future. One of the things that has been on my mind since November of last year was the book 1984. I read it in 2019 for the first time as part of the local library reading program. I didn’t realize how much of an impact that book make in my mind.

When my parents asked what I wanted for Christmas, I said the book. And, I got it. So I have been slowly reading it to really digest what is going on. I plan on writing about some of the real parallels in today’s culture and it’s futuristic relevance for something written seventy years ago.

If you want to read along with me, I would love it. I just want to warn you that this will be a series of articles that talk about the plot and the details within the book. So, consider the spoiler warning now and don’t be mad if we turn everything inside out when you haven’t had a chance to read the book.

This is a book that can be found in the library, audio book and purchased from $0.99 and up. It wouldn’t surprise me if every used book store has a copy. To me it appears that the average price is around $13.50 for paperback. So, if you are cheap like me you can look for a bargain or if you are just ready to get started it wont impact the budget too much. There is also a movie, of which I haven’t seen so I can’t vouch for it or the accuracy but I suppose that if you were just interested in the story and less so the implications you could check that out.

As a child, I spent a lot of time reading. My memory of summer was going to the library once a week and checking out several books. I would sometimes read two or three books a week. That has sort of diminished since college. It is not that I don’t enjoy it, I have lots of other pulls on my time as well. I am also part of the culinary book club so much of my reading time has been devoted to reading in that genre over the last couple of years. It wasn’t until I left my job that I started thinking about reading more.

Because of that, I have been tossing around the idea of an AltF4 reading list. I have been thinking about some of the books that have been really impactful in my life and building something that sort of encapsulates my brand of wackiness.

High school and college almost ruined literature for me. I can think of lists of ‘classic’ titles that I have read that I really would never care to open again. My anti-establishment streak made me suspicious of the designation ‘classic’ and the analysis to the nth degree made me question the author’s intent matched the analysis done in higher level English methodology.

I am open to being wrong here. For instance, my son’s favorite book is Oliver Twist which he has read many times. I have only read it once in AP English and that was enough for me. We both have different reactions to the title. He likes the story, enough said and I can respect that. In school there was a whole level of subtext applied that I never really bought into and wiped out of my mind.

If you really boil it down, not one title that I read in school was ever supported with evidence that a title was written with a deeper meaning in mind. I have a hard time justifying the existence of the analysis. I suppose that it is not to say that it can’t exist, but I haven’t seen evidence of such. This is not that. This isn’t a study into the subtext of 1984 but a comparison of the novel to current activity.

So, enough rambling. Now you know that I like reading and why; what presses my buttons on the subject and that I am starting a series on the analysis of 1984 by George Orwell. I hope that you will join me.