Category: Christianity

April 25, 2025 – Revelations 21-22 and Conclusion

April 25, 2025 /

We have turned a corner here. We past the rapture and now we are onto the reward. Gleaming cities of gold and jasper etc. I wonder if this is where the ‘pearly gates’ descriptor comes from? It is described as the new Jerusalem for a new earth prepared for those that are worthy.

First, God cast out Satan forever. Then He prepared a new city. The tree of life was available for the first time since Adam and Eve. John was explicitly told to proselytize that this is a new world order.

Among the couple of things that I found interesting is that there is talk about no temple in new Jeruasalem. There is no longer a need for priests to act as the mediary between God and the people. For the uninitiated, there was a curtain called a veil in the temple. The priest was the only one that could go behind the veil because supposedly that is where God was.

It was the promise of Jesus, also called the ‘New Covenant’ that was supposed to break that requirement. This was allegedly authorized at the last supper with the bread and wine (what we colloquially call communion to memorialize the event). I guess I don’t totally understand why this is coming up now when I believe it comes up earlier.

I don’t think that you get to pick your truth, even when it is conflicting. That being said I would like to know more about the origins of the Bible. What books were stricken and for what reasons? Since the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John have very similar accounts, your can reasonably assume corroborating facts are true. Revelations was controversial and it seems like for good reason.

Jesus told them to expect his return after crucifixion (remember doubting Thomas) but why this new development? Why a whole new purging of the earth and starting over? It does seem to contradict the whole premise of Christianity provides salvation with free will. The vengeful God was supposed to be replaced with the loving God post Jesus.

It would be very presumptuous of me to say that this book seems a little far fetched. But I am going to say it anyway. We can’t just ignore controversy because it is convenient. It seems pretty likely that John would have communication with God considering how close he was to Jesus. But just like the Fourth Turning, why hasn’t it happened yet? Surely a millennium has passed by now.

For all I know, it happened at or near 1000 AD. It is not as if recorded history was the best it could have been. What if it was the black plague in the 1300s? I don’t think Satan has actually been banished considering the state of the world. But, I would also expect humanity to be gone as well and we would all be living in New Jerusalem.

What that says to me is that there is something up with the interpretation. I don’t know exactly what that is aside from the calculation of time. If one thing is off, what about other aspects of the story? As a result, it is probably best to live as if the rapture could come anytime.

End Your Programming Routine: I always knew it but now I can concretely say what fascinates these doomsday groups. A strong faith and a strong fatalism combined with timing of the Julian calendar and who knows what will happen? This definitely wasn’t my favorite Bible foray, but it leads me to believe that I will do more because I have not read all of it myself. Next week is the introduction to “In the Gravest Extreme” by Massad Ayoob.

April 18, 2025 – Revelations 8-20

April 18, 2025 /

He has risen… again? At least that is what the prophecy of Revelations claims. Since Easter is this weekend, I want to be the first one to wish you a happy Easter. Unlike Christmas, this is a true Christian holiday. A day of salvation and redemption for all that seek it.

Today is actually Good Friday. This is the day of Jesus’s crucifixion. The day that he was nailed to the cross and hung to die. But it is also the day that mankind’s sin died as well. So while it is bittersweet for Jesus, that was his purpose on earth and a victory for eternal salvation.

From what I have gathered reading these chapters, this is the rapture. As soon as the seventh seal is broken, the action begins. One third of the plants, water, animals and sunlight. Then, god sends down the devil and locusts.

Something that I found kind of interesting when I was reading some commentary on Revelations came up. In Chapter 12, it says that Satan was thrown to the earth. What? I thought that he was already condemned to Hell? Yes, but no. Apparently, Satan has the ability to go back to Heaven in order to lobby for his case. Meaning that if he sees some soul go the opposite direction, he can appeal to God.

Remember, this is a vision of the Rapture. This has not really happened yet according to Biblical belief. So if that is really true, then that means that Satan currently has the ability to appeal for souls. Interesting.

Revelations 13 is a good one. This is the chapter that identifies 666 as the mark of the beast. I remember the first time I ever heard this concept back in the early 1990s. My scoutmaster affirmed that if we were ever to get some sort of tattoo that was the mark of the beast. Now, I am not totally sure about just any tattoo but I am a little bit conflicted.

You may have heard of people embedding RFID microchips into their skin so that they can just wave their hand over some sort of scanner to check-out in something like an Amazon store. I am not sure where we are with that experiment at this point but I think that this is coming much closer to the mark of the beast than a tattoo.

I will not make comparisons between Amazon and Satan. But, I do have to say that permanently forfeiting your sovereign humanity at the expense of convenience is starting to tip the scales. I don’t think that Amazon is pure evil but they are surely not benevolent either. RFID implants is definitely a step too far for me.

Much of today’s readings focus on what happens during tribulation, particularly when you have accepted the mark of the beast. Chapters 19 and 20 finish that and see Christ’s second coming. Satan and the False prophet are cast off the earth forever.

I think that there are two things that come to mind reading Revelations that are somewhat puzzling. The first goes back to Revelations 10. John is instructed to eat a scroll of judgement. This has two purposes. One is so that he can ‘ingest’ the real sins and the vision as it is revealed. The second goes hand in hand with not revealing the details of the vision. How is it that John is writing this book of the Bible if he promised God that he would not reveal the vision? That seems in direct violation to something the John holds so personally.

The second is God’s promise of judgement after a millennium. By our time measurement, we have seen at least two since the prophecy. This of course added extra significance to the Y2K hoopla. I have often pondered the Biblical accounting of time. This is particularly true with Noah living 900 years. He wasn’t the only one but he was remarkable at siring children at such an advanced age of 500.

I do believe that miracles are possible through God. I just wonder about some of the accounting. Further more, why? What is the purpose of Noah living 950 years? Did it really take that long to establish a flawed, human civilization? It almost seems like the early Bible was trying to fill in the gaps of known time versus known people because in the New Testament people seem to have more typical lifespans.

This is all to say that I have no idea of what measurement a Millennium really is. I tend to think that because this is New Testament text, it is more similar to our modern calendar. But then again, I don’t understand the rhyme or reason to the Christian calendar either. As a person that is pretty good with patterns and algorithms, how is it that Eater changes every year? You try to understand it so you can explain it to me.

End Your Programming Routine: I am sort of getting the gist of why this book is controversial. From the Jewish standpoint, they are waiting for the first coming and the Muslims have already had the second. The best policy is to be faithful just in case. It might not be the rapture but it might be a sudden car wreck which has the same result as a religious cleansing. Next week we will close the book on Revelations. “He has risen indeed.”

April 11, 2025 – Revelations 1-7

April 11, 2025 /

There is a bit of controversy surrounding the book of Revelations. It was allegedly written by John based on some visions that he had. It is the last book of the New Testament and follows a couple letters from John. Apparently, during the Counsel of Nicaea this book was on the chopping block as to whether it belongs or not. There is even controversy that Nicaea actually debated the bible. For simplicity sake, let’s just agree that the Bible is was adopted in its current form at that event just like a lot of other things they adopted.

Revelations is one of those books that is extremely galvanizing. It has often been a focus of Christian splinter groups (or cults) like the Branch Davidians as an example. The colloquial view of the book is that it predicts the second coming of Jesus Christ. As such, those who have been faithful will ascend directly to heaven while those who have not will be damned. At least this is what I have already heard and believed.

One might wonder about it’s placement in the bible. I actually think that it is genius. Scare the Christians into obedience. If you have just read all of this love your neighbor doctrine straight through and then you get obey or else. That seems like a strategic position.

I am certainly no bible scholar. I have read bits and pieces here and there. One time I set off to read it and got into Joshua of the Old Testament and then put it down. There were too many names for me and it is really hard to read the Bible like a novel. I have also read all of the Corinthians I and II as well as the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, John and Luke of the New Testament.

What drove me to want to read Revelations is that attraction of the Doomsday groups to this particular book. I cannot condone the Branch Davidians activity, but I recently watched an accounting of the FBI masacre and I really cannot condone that either. There is something like us tin foil hatters that have to stick together.

Here is a quick synopsis. Chapter 1 is John’s vision of Jesus. Chapters 2 and 3 are about what the churches are doing wrong and what they need to change. Chapters 4-7 are all about the elements in the vision.

Having never read this before, I am not sure what to really expect. One thing that I can say is that Chapters 4-7 read remarkedly like Dante’s Paradiso. Dare I say that maybe this was the template to what Dante used? It kind of makes sense how Dante would come up with the dancing and singing angels. It was all in John’s vision with Jesus.

If this were a sermon, I might start off talking about the the seven churches and the context of each in relation to John and maybe even history in general. Then I would talk about the animals, thrones seals and scrolls. But I wont. Partially because I don’t really know all of that and partially because I think this time we will read all the way through before disecting each little part. There are internet sites that can help with the symbology if you want that.

I have to leave you with something though. So we have some churches gone astray as well as scrolls that contain a list of sins that is getting checked out. It probably indicates that trouble is brewing or at the very least stuff is being accounted for. Better get ready because the rapture could come at any time. We will see what happens next week.

End Your Programming Routine: When I think of the theology, there is probably a reason why Revelations doesn’t get a lot of Sunday air time. I know the bible stories about Noah and starting over but is God going to really empty the earth? I thought that he created it for companionship? Would this be the end of the human experiment? It sure seems likely.

November 12, 2024 – Not Quite It, But Will Do For Now

November 12, 2024 /

I know that sometimes I can’t leave well enough alone. Once I did my podcast yesterday, I got to wondering if the video I was referring to was actually on YouTube. I do currently have access to it but I didn’t create it so technically, I should not be sharing it because it is not mine to share. However, I did find a video that talks about the current state.

Boy, does time fly. I said that the church was moved a couple of years ago. However, the date on this video says that it has been at least 11 years. This short video below shows exactly how I remember it looking. It is even still the same paint and colors.

If you look very carefully, you can see the walls are wooden board, not drywall or plaster. This is the original pioneer interior. The alter and the cross remain unchanged at the front of the church. Recently (since this video was taken), the outside was painted and it has a new location with new foundation.

End Your Programming Routine: I need to make a priority to get to the county museum to see if there is more information or if this is just data for the archives. If I ever run across the video I am talking about in a public forum, I will put it here first. I am proud to contribute to the preservation of the history. This place holds a lot of really good memories for me.

December 12, 2023 – Using Our Gifts

December 12, 2023 /

If you listened to my podcast on Wednesday last week then you would know that there has been tragedy in the extended family. I still don’t know many details and if or when I do, I am not sure that I am going to reveal them here. Today is not about that but because of that.

Now, a quick timeline of events for context. November 28th (Monday) I finished work and had a doctor’s appointment. I went up to remind my wife and she asked me to pick up our niece from elementary school. Her daycare was closing early because of an accident to her child. The next day, I only worked a few hours because it was my grandmother’s funeral. My wife stayed back with her family. I called in late afternoon to check-in, I was going to go out to eat with my family after all of the services. My wife said ‘It is bad… really bad. He didn’t make it, in fact it wasn’t an accident but he was shot to death.’

By the time I came home from dinner, my wife was drinking with her cousin. This one event spun her into an emotional free for all. I would say that she was paralyzed by sadness and empathy for the remainder of the week. I don’t know why God made her the way that he did. I also don’t know why God made me the way that I did. I felt dull and detached but I couldn’t empathize with paralyzing grief,

I am no good in these situations. I could be the one delivering the news in a non-emotional manner, not the one comforting people that are nearly out of their minds. I don’t know what to say. Is it appropriate to touch? Should I converse or stay aloof? What if I say the wrong thing? I have no problem with small talk, but I feel like this is not the place or situation for such things. I just don’t know, you might say that I am paralyzed by human interaction.

I do know that God gave me the gift of action though. I took action on building a roadside cross. It is now painted white and waiting until we are informed of the actual site (that information is being withheld as part of the investigation). I wanted a wood that would last as close as forever so I had a cedar railing post that I have held onto for 15 years.

I did all the joinery and built it with care. I don’t want anyone thinking that I didn’t put my full talent and energy into my form of contribution. I filled the gaps and sanded it smooth. I wanted the cross to be as perfect as I could make it. Finally, I spray painted and painted and painted some more until the surface was glossy smooth.

End Your Programming Routine: God made us different so that we could be the best at whatever gift he gave us. I am not the worlds best woodworker but I also could focus on building this piece of peace without the emotional torment that others had. And I suppose that if we were all the comforting type, who would be there to build the cross? So, I will end where I started. I don’t know why I am the way I am but I hope that the way I am can bring it’s own comfort.

June 28, 2023 – Happy 25th Anniversary to Us

June 28, 2023 /

In 1998, it was hard to imagine what 25 years in the future would look like. Did I have an inkling of all the hills and valleys in the journey? I mean, everyone has their own versions of perspective. My struggles are just molehills compared to others while my celebrations may seem pedantic. Today I am blessed to celebrate my 25 year wedding anniversary.

I picked this song as one of the descriptions of our courting and early marriage. I always thought that it was a perfect story for her, but I didn’t quite get the mirror that I was holding up. She is such a passionate person that I could feel the hurt and blessing that not following paths would lead. But you know that when looking at something in the mirror, it is always the opposite of what you are seeing in the glass.

Early in the Bible, in fact Genesis 2 says: “23And the man said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for out of man she was taken.” 24For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. “

Last year was my ‘come to Jesus moment’, literally. I don’t just believe in parts of the bible, but the whole thing. Exodus 20:12 says “Honor your father and mother.” How can I obey the Lord’s commandments but side with my wife? I am referencing the whole familial struggle of my mother-in-law dying and having to kick her out of my property last summer. That is not honor.

When it comes right down to things, I always thought that there would be me and us. We can be our own individuals for part of the day and then come together daily (or whatever the frequency). Maybe I am dense but that is how I saw my happy ever after. As long as I deferred things I wanted to do to prioritize us or made time each day, then I would be good. I still didn’t take in the one flesh part of the equation.

The other thing that I really struggle with is the situation where I think it is fine but the other person does not. That plays to my advantage in many cases. It allows me to pursue what I consider the proper course of actions in business or morality. That being said, it doesn’t come without consequences. And those consequences are strong when we are trying to act as one flesh. What happens when I believe one way as an individual but another as a married partner?

You know what? Prayer is the answer. I prayed hard about how to handle supporting my wife by severing the relationship with my mother-in-law. I wanted to do it badly, but I didn’t want to intentionally break a commandment. I think that the answer is really the first part of verse 24. “…Man will leave his father and mother…”. It is not the act of leaving to jump from one situation to the next but that they will actually transform into one by commitment to each other. God told me that I needed to support my wife.

Clearly, I still struggle with my individualism. It is not something that changes overnight. Left to my own devices, I could be very happy with me and us. But, I am not living in my bubble. To my wife’s credit, she is the one that is the fighter. I would say that she starts most of the fights, but she also finishes them.

In a short 25 years, she has battled exotic, fatal diseases, built a respected career and mostly raised two boys and severely impacted the lives of others raising kids that are not ours. Through all of it there was love. What right do I have to want to be myself? And more so than that, what right do I have to not be one with a god driven person? The answer is none.

Since I am not am clearly not a romantic, I want to say that I appreciate and value the things that I am not. While I don’t want to be a romantic, my wife does. We are Yin and Yang which makes many things extremely difficult. Even simple decisions like what to make for dinner can sometimes be painful. I have learned that each one of these encounters are a way to practice being one. I am often not successful or good at it, but I get to try again.

Marriage is hard and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It is not hard as in physically hard or even mentally hard. It is hard because to be serious and godly you have to give up the person that you thought you were in that transformation to be one. It is a huge leap of faith to leave behind what you know is right to go in a direction that you are tentative at best.

At such a young age, you can tolerate anything for a number of years, like school. I am not trying to get existential but forever is forever. When the calendar moves past ten years, the realization that those little things aren’t going to change and they start to move from annoying to resentment. It takes work to change those things. Both with your partner and yourself. That is hard. That is ending your programming.

I know that is sounds like I am mostly glass half full here. Despite that, I am trying to convey that this is a two way street and I use half of it. So while I have talked about the challenges, there were many a good time. We actually do pretty well together when it is just us on a getaway or us against the world.

End Your Programming Routine: In the song, Garth prays for one thing but got another because God knows what we need even if we do not. I got a free spirited, social and empathetic person because those are all the things I am not. I also got a loving, forgiving and patient person. Guess what… not those either. We will all have to wait until the end of our song but “I guess God knows what he is doing afterall”.

March 1, 2023 – Formaldehyde Christianity

March 1, 2023 /

As with anything personal and a situation involves more than myself, I don’t think that it is appropriate to go deep into the details. It’s not that I am scared to reveal some deep, dark secrets, but it is a matter of respect and decency for all parties involved. I certainly wouldn’t appreciate it if someone wrote publicly about my perceived issues.

That being said, my wife and I are trying to do a weekly, Christian based bible study. As strange as this sounds, it has led to a lot of intense conflict. If I try to summarize it, I suppose that an exuberance to implement new changes or techniques. This is difficult for me and could be construed as abrasive and confrontational as well as feeling of inadequacy. Both sides have feelings about what is, what could be and how to approach that.

The main passage for the week is Ephesians 5: 31-33 (NIV).

31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

The premises of the week are

  1. Marriage is God’s gift for me
  2. My spouse is not my enemy
  3. I must renew my commitment to the permanency of marriage
  4. The purpose of marriage is to glorify God

Due to the week we have had, I have some doubts that I need to resolve. How can every marriage be a gift from God? Is it really only marriages rooted in faith or truly all of them? I think that we have all known people that married for the wrong reasons. And if so, how do you reconcile the word of God versus reality?

This is my problem with the church at large. They are great a highlighting these things we should do and preaching about how to conduct ourselves in the situation but they never reconcile the real tough issues. As and example, when is turning the cheek or loving your neighbor to all extremes really putting up with abuse? It is those kinds of inflection points that I never get out of sermons.

Maybe I am just a bad follower and I should always put my faith in God. But, then I think about those extreme ‘faith healer’ type stories and I just have to believe that proper faith requires us to action, not just pray that ‘God will fix it’. You see what I mean?

I woke up early on Sunday, 3AM. My first thought was that it was really raining and I had unplugged the sump pump because we had significant freezing weather. That always causes the remaining water in the drain pipe to freeze and then when the pump comes on it deadheads, often blowing the flex connection and spraying water everywhere. Once I was up, I knew that I needed to deal with my issues through faith and internally. I did what I am often doing on the weekends, head out to the shop. This time, there was no TV or radio or podcasts. It was my woodworking and myself, thinking and praying.

Some would say that to have a clear and proper prayer time, it needs to be quiet and focused. I always find myself at least pacing when there are heavy things to resolve. I find for myself some menial, physical activity is best. I wasn’t operating machinery or anything but chopping and chiseling (for hours). I don’t know if I got it all out, but it was time to come in and shower for my son’s birthday party.

I actually didn’t think about the fact that it was Sunday and I turned on the radio. The AM station I have it tuned to plays six or so hours of different sermons and one was on. I knew immediately that God was answering my prayer. The sermon was on how doubt, properly researched to the end actually builds faith using the story of Doubting Thomas and the resurrection of Christ.

John 20: 27-29 (NIV)

27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” 28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” 29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

I didn’t note the pastor speaking because I am a casual Sunday listener, but I listened intently to the whole half an hour. Formaldehyde Christianity is the result of growing up in the church and being around faith your whole life without really being tested. It is faith that is always there preserved but not alive. Not doubting and not questioning leads us to blind faith which is probably just as dangerous as zealous faith.

It was very clear that the message for me is that I need to keep asking questions and working on my faith and my marriage. I also have no doubt that God was telling me that he heard me and that sermon at that moment was for me to feel good that it is OK to pursue the answers. But, I think that he was also telling me that I need to trust the process, not to get hung up in grammar or syntax.

End Your Programming Routine: Ultimately, I didn’t resolve my fundamental question but the truth is, it doesn’t matter. I now know re-reading what I wrote and re-reading what the course said that I missed the two words “for me” in the in the first premise. It doesn’t matter whether the dogma is accurate or said another way, all marriages are a gift from God; mine should be treated as such because this is the gift for me. Regardless of whether I perceive some injustice, I also need to own that I am not perfect here either. Because I was erroneously hung up on premise 1, I failed 2-4 this week when we were struggling to effectively communicate. Thanks God for the reminder of humility and ultimately I owe my spouse an apology.

October 29, 2022 – When Your Legacy is Conflict and Hurt

October 29, 2022 /

This is a special Saturday morning edition. I have some quiet time to really go deep into my thoughts. Two days ago, my mother-in-law passed away. It was sudden and it was unexpected although not surprising given that she had terminal cancer and was nearing the end. This event opened the door for people to behave poorly. Out of nowhere, I got a text message.

It is almost like, they bit their lip while she was alive because how they felt about the situation, not necessarily my mother-in-law. The ironic thing is that I prayed for all of those involved shortly before receiving this because I knew that there was hurt and pain.

I am not going to say that I am holier than thou, because I am not. There are certain people that I would like to punch in the face if I saw them on the street right now (figuratively). Then, I push my feelings to god and go about another couple of hours until the next wave comes again.

Yesterday morning, I was reading the news headlines. The implication of the article is that without moderation, there will be a lack of civility on Twitter. And to a large degree I believe that will be true. But, is it right? Do we have the right to be ignorant? Do we have the right to not be offended? Do we have the the responsibility to judge other’s intent simply for civility?

Despite all that has happened, I never have never thought that these people didn’t have the right to feel the way that they do nor speak their mind. I am not a proponent of hate speech but I am also not a proponent of censorship, even when it is threatening.

There is a saying that “your right to free speech ends at my nose”. This implies, say what you want but that doesn’t give you the right to do anything physical. I am self-aware. I already know that they do not want us around. The fact that I am unwilling to engage or give them an audience allows them to invent whatever fantasy fits their narrative.

Listening to the radio a couple of days ago, I was reminded of the nursery rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. We used to say that as kids in the 1980s. The truth is, words do hurt at least a little bit. A build up or barrage leads to self doubt or at the very least. Unfortunately, we have become a fragile society and want someone else to stop or filter what we don’t want to see or deal with.

What is truly sad is that rather than writing a memorial, my mother-in-law’s legacy is hurt, anger and conflict. People that think that they know the situation have no idea about our truth. Many people have done this exercise. It is the picture that either shows a young woman or an old woman (actually it shows both). This is literally the same picture and people immediately see one thing.

History is a set of facts written or interpreted with a biased perspective. It could be pioneers prospered in the west or it could be our society was wrecked and our land taken. Both are interpretations and presentation of the same set of facts. Of course I am upset about what has been said to my wife and her sister (and me). I also have to assume that I also do not know our aggressor’s set of facts or total intent. Just like I don’t appreciate being judged, I will refrain from doing the same thing any further.

I will say this: what I know as ‘facts’ are all first hand information. I was there and I was involved in the situation. That is my solace and truth.

End Your Programming Routine: I am not going to predict that things will not continue to be ugly. What I do believe is that people that react this viscerally to any situation will likely get redirected to the next shiny thing. With time and separation, it won’t be worth their effort. God, give me the strength to act in your image and represent my beliefs.

March 29, 2022 – The Straw That Broke the Camel’s Back

March 29, 2022 /

I tried to do some research on the origin of the phrase and I couldn’t really suss out the meaning. I was trying to derive the significance of the Camel to the phrase. I did find out that this idiom has a long history which dates back to the 1700s and it has several variations from straw to feather and camel to donkey. It would appear that this is indicating a load bearing animal and it is one item too much.

Originally, I thought that I was going to title this the ‘fall that broke the camel’s wrist’ as a play on words for reasons that will become obvious later in this post. I was thinking that the camel was a stubborn animal and that it was more than just a plain, gruesome act. But it doesn’t seem so.

To say the least, this has been a difficult time since my father-in-law has died. I have written about this a little bit and for obvious reasons, not explicitly. To state it bluntly, my mother-in-law is dying, not capable of caring for herself and refusing to accept the situation. This has caused a strained relationship with her children and has driven wedges between my own marriage.

This is just a small flavor but she paid a down payment on a puppy. The children all agreed that this is a bad idea. My wife even spoke to the owner of the puppy not to sell the dog to a person that is living in a travel trailer and cannot walk more than a few yards un-assisted. I am sure we can all use our heads on what the possible problems are here. This lead to a huge blow-up where my wife blocked her mom and I had to become the middleman in constant conversation for two weeks. The words were nasty and hurtful.

That situation came to an end two weekends ago. They were all supposed to stay in a beach house for a week. My wife wanted nothing to do with her. My sister-in-law and her family didn’t want anything to do with her. I was supposed to drive my mother-in-law to the beach house but I couldn’t get ahold of her. A few hours later, I got a call that she had fallen and possibly broke her wrist. She was in the ER, already at the coast.

I told my wife and she unblocked her to communicate in the situation. They ended up spending the planned four days at the beach but that wasn’t easy either. I had multiple phone calls about how my mother-in-law was behaving and I don’t have words. I prayed.

I am not claiming to have a command of the best Christian behavior. Quite frankly, I would just as soon not have anything to do with her either. It would make my life a lot easier. But, that is not the way of Jesus. I certainly didn’t want to be the middleman or even try to get deeper into the situation. But, this is a time of need and our my beliefs would tell me to forgive the sinner.

I think that the broken wrist has made a thaw in the relationship. For one thing, we moved her into our apartment last weekend. The travel trailer is getting moved before the first and it will likely be her last night there. I haven’t had a direct conversation specifically, but I think it was a wakeup call that today is the best day that there will be.

Fifteen years ago, before podcasts I used to listen to Dave Ramsey a lot. One of his recommended books was Boudaries. I never got around to reading this book but I maybe it is not too late. I think we could all use some help in this situation.

End Your Programming Routine: From my observation, this is the reverse of raising a teen. They are trying to resolve the desire to become more grown-up and yet not quite ready. This situation is trying to get the person to realize that they cannot do the things they did even a year ago. It is hard and we have no legal standing to stop it in most cases. Keep all of us in your prayers.

February 28, 2022 – Running Out of Words

February 28, 2022 /

No, I don’t mean that I am quitting. You will have to read to get to the punchline today. First, we have a long and winding path to get there, so let’s get started.

Valentine’s Day is over, so what is next for merchandizing? Why Easter of course. What does this have to do with anything? I am getting there.

When I first met my wife, I was introduced to something that I don’t see often. It is tradition called cascarón. This is where you save your egg shells be used for Easter. Essentially, you try to preserve as much of an intact eggshell by cracking off one end of the egg. You want to build up a large inventory of egg shells for coloring and filling.

This is where it get’s fun. Some of the shells are filled with confetti, flour or oatmeal and some might be filled with money and occasionally, there might even be a raw egg! What you do is run around and crack them on peoples heads. We hide them with traditional Easter eggs and then inevitably wait to get cracked. If you want to participate in this tradition, now is the time to start building up your inventory of eggshells.

You should know by now, I am going to take this a lot deeper. One of my first Easters with my Wife’s family was in 1995. We were going to school over 200 miles away and of course it was a school weekend and we had little means to travel so they came to us for the day. They brought the cascarones.

My wife was living in a townhouse with several exchange students. One of them was Japanese and this holiday was foreign. So, we invited her to join us for the meal and the Easter egg hunt. She brought a friend to the dinner whose name was Ai (also a Japanese exchange student).

After the dinner, and when it came to cracking eggs (by surprise is the best) they quickly caught on to what was likely going to happen. Ai got so freaked out that she ran to her bicycle and peddled away not to come back again that day. This was our Sophomore year and consequently my wife became really good friends with her Japanese roommate.

We have kept in contact with her roommate over all these years. Her roommate and Ai came to our wedding. Five years later, we all met at her roommate’s wedding in California. Ai studied theater in college and dreamed of Hollywood, which she pursued. Yesterday, Ai died of cancer.

We had heard that it was terminal a few months ago. In December, Ai left California to go back to Japan for her final days. To be honest, we weren’t nearly as close to Ai as we are to my wife’s roommate and dealing and our own demons concerning cancer, it was out of sight and out of mind. But, it hits that this was someone who we know that left us too early.

My wife deals with strong survivor’s guilt. She had a coworker who was our age and kids are the same age that died of cancer a few years ago, that was hard. They had even done chemotherapy at the same time. Then she had another friend who was younger than us by probably ten years die a couple years ago, that was worse. It feels like we know too many people battling and losing to cancer way too young.

I know, this is being hypervigilant. I see it one place and my eyes are open to where else it could be. But, I also can’t help but wonder what God is telling me in this situation. Not just me either, for people with survivor’s guilt as strongly as my wife’s what can she get out of the situation? Is there a message here, am I trying to make a connection that doesn’t exist or is this a fact of life that now I am getting older the probability to bad endings happen in life?

I talked about the neighbor kid that is battling last week, my mother-in-law is in her second year of treatment, people that are in my inner circle are in the fight of their lives. I’ve gone through it with my wife too. Compassion and empathy are some of my weaker areas for sure. I think I have them, but it is really difficult to express them adequately. Maybe that is what God is trying to tell me?

Yesterday in church, the sermon was conceptually about making the most of a situation (not necessarily dying). What can you do with what you have. The question of the bucket list came up. I had never really given it much thought because I have never created one. At least for me, I came down to goals and achievements are for the living. I don’t really have a traditional bucket list because I think that when that time comes, I wont want to have a final bunch of experiences before I die. I think the point of making the most of the situation actually means living before dying.

End Your Programming Routine: Of course, we are all going to face the inevitable. There is no doubt that if we live long enough, we will see our fair share of tragedy – however we define it. I suppose that I can consider myself lucky not having to witness something like the holocaust or to be born into slavery. With all things, it is not how we handle the acute situation, but the aftermath that is going to make the difference.