Category: Philosophy

December 18, 2024 – It’s Getting Hot In Here…

December 18, 2024 / / 0 Comments

When I took this picture, I imagined coming up with some controversial topic. In lieu of trying to dredge up some more politics or some other distasteful topic I thought I would go much deeper today. By the time I get done, hopefully it would make sense.

I often wish that I had an established therapist. I would like to have some independent input. Second to that, I probably should work harder a developing a friendships. I hear all the time on the Art of Manliness that male friendships are important to a healthy mental state. I have said several times that this is my form of therapy. Writing or podcasting allows me to think about a subject and put together a logical opinion about things.

Something happened recently that I desperately want to talk about. But, it is not my story to tell, at least yet. Of course what happened has some sort of impact on me. I have every right to react in any way because it is my genuine feelings based on me and my character. But, when I look at things objectively this has very little impact to me or my life and it would be best to wait and talk about the details of the situation here when it is publicly acknowledged due to the sensitivity.

I am always waving the live and let live flag. As an example, if someone wants to marry their dog or file their teeth into vampire fangs, why should I care? Of course I have opinions on the whole thing but it doesn’t really matter what I think. Make no mistake, transgressions were made in the legal, ethical and moral grounds. So it is not as if I don’t have a potential claim of damages.

As Bill Handel of Handel on the Law would say, “What are the damages here”? People are constantly wronged in some way, but can you prove it? And if you can, what is the value? I say all this to say that rather than extracting revenge or issuing a penalty, the self admitted guilty may be punishment enough. I am talking about something that is a one way door. Once you go through, you cant go back. That is pretty scary.

It is pretty easy to say live and let live when it is someone else’s condition or problem. But, when it happens in your own domain, it is a little harder to stay consistent. I don’t think about this often but something like Luigi Mangione’s parents. I am assuming that they still love their child even though he did something horribly wrong. Luigi may regret it but you certainly can’t say that it was an accident or even a misstep. It was self admitted, premeditated murder. That is pretty hard to come back from.

There is no doubt that the elder Mangione’s were damaged by their son’s action. But again, what is the value? In this situation, forgiveness is still be appropriate but other actions like funding legal defense are probably out of the question of propriety. My incident is nothing like this but the point remains that children’s actions effect their parents. Even public scrutiny is painful.

My wife asked how I felt about this situation. It was a loaded question as she knew because I know in my heart how I feel but I also don’t know how exactly to react. Because of the secretive nature, because of the one way commitment and because of the wrongs involved it is hard to embrace the overall situation. Perhaps we should look at these dilemma’s with a more long term outlook.

I remember being in college and I was a Senior. My sister-in-law called my wife and said that she was pregnant at 18. My first reaction was that this was a disaster for her. When the second child came about a year later, I felt like one was already too much but two is insane. Looking back 25 years later, it all worked out. It wasn’t easy then and it has had lasting implications to this day but they all made it. It wasn’t my direction or results but then it didn’t need to be.

Using the example above, how I feel about a situation will change over time. I would always want to err on the side of caution in these kind of conflicts because I have seen first hand and the consequences thereof. It ends up with being estranged from your family as you are dying and no hope of reconciliation. That is much worse than having a justified reaction for the time and act.

I have some time before I see this person again. That means there should be plenty of time to have a dignified and controlled conversation. This is part of why I wrote this today so I could organize my thoughts and consolidate how I really feel. When it comes to actually having this conversation, my hope is that I have put enough thought to clearly articulate my feelings without all of the hurts and hang-ups of the things that will be forgotten in 25 years.

End Your Programming Routine: I have read and re-read what I have written above. Despite being obtuse, I think that the message I have conveyed is don’t be brash, don’t be reactive and things will work themselves out over time. If or when this situation becomes public, I will certainly have much more to say, including my true feelings. Until that time, it doesn’t make sense to potentially damage a relationship just because I slighted.

December 13, 2024 – ‘Fun Day’ Friday

December 13, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Friday’s have held a lot of memories for me. When I was a young professional, Friday was the day that the decision makers left work early. The schmucks that were actually doing the work (like me) were stuck with the same everyday work and less agency to do anything. My co-worker coined the term ‘Fun Day’ Friday for that situation.

There were times in my career that I liked to work Friday nights. I could have free run on the servers without having to compete with other interests or coordinate anything. It made life so much easier to be able to work without obstruction even though I was pretty beat.

Later, as I became a manager I tried to built some team comradery by creating an open playlist on YouTube. I set the tone and then invited the team to contribute. The songs were sometimes silly, they sometimes described the week but they were always intended to blow off steam. Consequentially, I often found myself streaming music on Fridays trying to distract myself from the stress of the week.

This entire year, I have been working on catching up with the back catalog of The Art of Manliness in any free time I have had. As a result, I have not played any music on Fridays this year. To be honest, it is like a distant memory and I have forgotten that I like to do that. Sometimes it was feel good country, sometimes it was heavy metal and sometimes it was antiestablishment rap like Eminem.

The good news is that I am almost caught up and then I am going to stop looking for new podcasts for a while. After listening to podcasts constantly for the last 15 years, it is time for a little variation. It may be time to do a little house cleaning as well. I want to be entertained and inspired. Sometimes that is hard to practice when I am constantly getting input from others.

End Your Programming Routine: With most of my work being so heavy and serious, I thought it was high time to do something different. Next week I am going to have the Festivus podcast so I will be airing my grievances for the year. While that intended to be a little tongue and cheek fun, a little levity for the season is in order.

One last thing, I have decided that the next book is going to be The Fourth Turning: An American Prophecy by William Strauss and Neil Howe. Look for the first chapter review to be January 3, 2025. There are a total of 12 chapters so we will get through this book by the beginning of April. I say this with plenty of time so that you all have the ability to get a head start as we go into the new year.

November 12, 2024 – Not Quite It, But Will Do For Now

November 12, 2024 /

I know that sometimes I can’t leave well enough alone. Once I did my podcast yesterday, I got to wondering if the video I was referring to was actually on YouTube. I do currently have access to it but I didn’t create it so technically, I should not be sharing it because it is not mine to share. However, I did find a video that talks about the current state.

Boy, does time fly. I said that the church was moved a couple of years ago. However, the date on this video says that it has been at least 11 years. This short video below shows exactly how I remember it looking. It is even still the same paint and colors.

If you look very carefully, you can see the walls are wooden board, not drywall or plaster. This is the original pioneer interior. The alter and the cross remain unchanged at the front of the church. Recently (since this video was taken), the outside was painted and it has a new location with new foundation.

End Your Programming Routine: I need to make a priority to get to the county museum to see if there is more information or if this is just data for the archives. If I ever run across the video I am talking about in a public forum, I will put it here first. I am proud to contribute to the preservation of the history. This place holds a lot of really good memories for me.

October 2, 2024 – Getting Rich By Acting Poor

October 2, 2024 /

Now that is sensational. I also am not claiming to be getting rich but I am using a technique that rich people use. That would be don’t spend excessively on things that don’t matter. Since getting rid of my Mustang four years ago now, my vehicles keep getting older with more and more miles.

We have kind of poked at replacing the Navigator but the price of newer to new cars has become astronomical. We were thinking something around the Explorer size but going from no car payment to $900/mo for six years seams untenable. So we keep kicking the can knowing that the day will come that we need to bite the bullet and replace at least one vehicle.

Having been an owner of cheap cars, I have developed a philosophy that cheap cars are a good thing. Let’s think about it for a minute. If I paid $1000 for a car and it lasted two months, that would be $500/mo or half of what I would pay for an Explorer. This is not paying for things that do not matter. I am paying for transportation, not style points and that is half the cost of something new.

Of course, at some point having to replace a car every couple of months can be a hassle. That being said, at this price point you can afford to be choosy. So, maybe a $2500 car that lasts a year is really $200/mo. This is a far cry from new car prices. Think about it, all time beyond that is a bonus.

One thing my summer in Portland taught me is that a Navigator L (for long) in the city is a hassle. It is hard to find a parking spot and maneuver in tight spots. My tactic is try to get farther away from the door and hopefully find more open spots. Otherwise, it is multiple back-up, pull forward until I inch into a spot with traffic piling up behind me. But, going farther from the door is hard on the patient that can barely sit in the seat for the ride in the first place. However, you go with what you got.

Since I was under five during the last fuel crisis, the truth is I haven’t paid a whole lot of attention to operating costs. That being said, I won’t deny when you hit the cut-off limit of $125 for fuel it stings a little bit. With only me driving, I typically only had to refuel every two weeks so it was bearable. But, I could do a lot better than 12MPG as well.

About six months ago, my dad called me and said that he was thinking of buying a new car. His reasoning was that he wanted to make sure that he wasn’t stuck with only EV’s as options. He is also 78 so it probably will be his last car. But he asked me if I would be interested in buying his old car. I said sure.

My youngest son is a driver now and so he has taken over my pickup which has been my primary vehicle since I sold the Mustang. My wife just started driving again after stopping at the end of last year. That left us coordinating schedules much more tightly than we have ever done as a couple because we have always had a vehicle per driver. Adding another inexpensive vehicle seems like the right ticket.

It’s not all sunshine and roses because everything has a cost. Just possessing the car has registration, insurance and maintenance costs. So, truly acting poor would be to make due with what we have. I mention this because it should be considered when making this decision. I am still paying something for the privilege of convenience. My hope is that lower operating costs will offset the additional cost of ownership somewhat.

I wont drag out the negotiations and all of that. But, I ended up taking the possession of the vehicle a little over a week ago. I was telling him about my philosophy of cheap cars and he said ‘You agree with Warren Buffet then’. I didn’t know that, but I guess that I do.

End Your Programming Routine: I cant help but throw my opinion in. I think a lot of people are car poor because their image is more important than their budget. I come to this conclusion because I know what cars cost and I also know that our household income is pretty high. I also know that my newest car is 14 years old and has 240,000 miles. Adding an inexpensive car offers more flexibility and will extend the longevity of what we have and no car payment. Me and Warren Buffet agree.

August 7, 2024 – I Am Being Censored

August 7, 2024 /

I didn’t make this very clear in my podcast. I after I mentioned that I was going to talk about censorship, I meant to follow up later and say that I was going to write about it later in the week. This is what you get when I don’t finish my notes is that I don’t get things wrapped up real neatly. We are here now.

I have been waiting for this moment. I have known for months now, going all the way back to December when I was trying to work while waiting for some sort of diagnosis about my wife’s fatigue that I was on the black list. My work has me working for a tobacco company and the doctor’s office blocked my computer from accessing the wi-if.

I combat that by carrying my own hotspot. As long as I can get cell service it works pretty well. Unfortunately, as the local hospital cell service is a black hole so with Wi-Fi blocked and no cell service, it is impossible for me to work at the doctors or the hospital.

When we came up to Portland, I thought I would try it. I had Wi-Fi access for several days on my work computer. But, then I got to a point where my work computer seemed to connect to the Wi-Fi but not work. Back to the hotspot. Fortunately, the cell phone service is good, even in the depths of the hospital.

What I didn’t expect is that they blocked access to some of the blogs I check on a daily basis. nearly everyday I check ammoland and the outdoor wire. It is part industry news and part politics and opinion. I tried to check several times and several days always with the same result. Finally, I tried my phone off of Wi-Fi and it worked. So, I know that they are blocking websites.

I don’t know what comparable left wing websites are out there. My personal opinion is a lot of most major news outlets are propaganda for the left. As a result, I pretty much find anti god and anti constitutional ideals as offensive. I am not quite sure why they censor legal and right leaning sites while allowing others to proliferate.

I can understand to a point why my work laptop is banned. I work for a sworn enemy of the medical establishment. I just can’t get over the hypocrisy of my drug company over the hidden evils of their drug companies. It is all about what propaganda channel you swallow. And while the prescriptions are not in my name, I am looking at some of the most addictive drugs known to man right in front of me.

End Your Programming Routine: I figured that this was a question of when not if. I can even understand the reason why they think it is necessary to ban firearms on the premises. But, to ban what I am reading goes a step too far for me. This is a government institution, not a private entity. To be clear, they are violating my first and second amendment rights. Welcome to your future.

July 24, 2024 – At Least There is A View

July 24, 2024 /

I am going to make a commitment. Unless something goes drastically askew, this will be the last time I write about my current woes. It is not about pity but about my current situation. Since it is first and foremost in my life, it is going to take a dominant position on what I am doing.

Back for my second stint in the hospital, I told my wife that this must be what prison feels like. I don’t mean to say that this is actually like prison because it is not. Each time I leave the floor, I need to have permission to return. I hate begging to be let in so I try to leave as little as possible. That is the part that is like prison, confined to a room.

You may have seen the stories about an uptick in Covid. As luck would have it, there is also an uptick in influenza. Five patients in this ward have contracted it recently. For that reason, they are restricting visitors and procedures even more. Now, I have to put on a disposable gown each time I enter the room. I also have to wear a face mask at all times which includes sleeping.

Have you seen those prison beds? A mat on a bench. That completely describes my situation. To be honest, it isn’t all that uncomfortable and I have had some nights of extended sleep. I probably get more here than I get at home just because there is less to do here. There is the factor of multiple interruptions for blood draws and vital checks. Some nights are far from restful.

My wife has been working on a debt consolidation strategy since before she stopped working in March. As luck would have it, it finally came through. So what would you know, the notary had to come to the hospital (and go through all the sanitation procedures). You always want to put on a good face with these things but it is pretty hard when you are signing papers next to a commode.

Last week when I was here, I was able to keep my mask off. I also used snacks to supplement meals to try and keep the costs down. With the new mask policies, there is no eating allowed in the rooms. This forces me to leave the secured perimeter to eat. This hospital is isolated. Yes, there are about five or six places to get food and at least one that is open 24hours.

I feel bad. I want to like it but the food is just not good. There is that institutional frugality combined with government subsidy factor. All the sausage is chicken. The hotdogs are chicken. The vegetables are over boiled or steamed. For some reason, half the dishes are Indian. I love Indian food and I am sure I could eat it day after day but not on the potato wedges. I paid $8 for a terrible, unseasoned burrito with chicken sausage and potato wedges in it.

Enough about food, at this point it is a means to an end. My shift is Wednesday night to mid Sunday. Consequently, I am working at least two days. I have struggled to keep my computers connected to the Wi-Fi. As a result, I have taken to using my hotspot. It is why we have it in the first place. I am constantly plugging in and wrapping up cords to keep those devices charge. I really appreciate my office at this point especially because I have to work out of two computers daily.

A programmer needs two screens and hospitals are not setup to have someone work like I do. I even had to take a 2 1/2hr sales pitch meeting, talk about a near disaster. Fortunately, I didn’t have to speak or be on camera. It has been really tough to keep up with things and it seem like I am always working to make up for gaps and missed time.

End Your Programming Routine: At the time of my writing, we are solidly in the second week here. With much luck we may get to transition back to family housing some time on my next trip back. I definitely couldn’t look forward to something more. It takes a toll on you physically and mentally. I have said my peace, I am thankful for the opportunity at healing but ready to go.

June 19, 2024 – I Am Doing This (I Guess)

June 19, 2024 /

I have gotten some books and maps and started reading them. I have purchased some of my desired equipment upgrades. I have started training by walking the dog a couple of miles nightly (baby steps for me and her). I have even taken an inaugural day hike. Most poignant of all, my wife is telling all these people and inviting them to come along. So I feel kind of committed at this point.

I figure my greatest risk is actually my physical ability. Unfortunately, I have enjoyed too much sedentary life of excess over the last couple of years and the clock is ticking. My tentative plan is to cover somewhere between 10-20 miles per day with a pack that is loaded for a week’s worth of travel. That will likely be 40-60 pounds.

The one thing that I remember vividly from doing this as a youth was how my shoulders ached from the weight of my pack. I remember the salesman saying that the hip belt was going to significantly reduce pack fatigue to almost nothing as long as everything was adjusted properly. While in theory I think that could be true, it sure wasn’t for me. I would like to be to the point that I have prepared adequately and be able to enjoy my trip while I am doing it, not just the edited memories afterward. I do plan to add a pack with weight to my training at some point. I am not just there yet.

As this is my dream, I feel the obligation to act as a leader. I am reading about the section of the PCT that I am considering doing and wondering to myself ‘Is this the best section to do if I am only going to do this once?’ or ‘If the recommended campsites can only hold one tent, then where can we stop?’ I feel some extra pressure that I really wasn’t anticipating when I came up with this idea.

My physical milestone at 40 was to run a half marathon. I never really thought that I would continue running after achieving the goal. Sure enough, I really didn’t. But, this hiking thing is something that I really would like to continue as long as possible. I have always been outdoors oriented and the practical physical fitness of packing transcends into hunting and preparedness as well.

I am no longer young and don’t have nearly as many competitive allusions of being ‘hardcore’. My fantasy as a young adult was to camp and fish all summer then hunt all fall. I let life get in the way and have really done very little of it over the years. Now I think it would be a-OK for me to just be able to do it, whatever it happens to be. I would like to ultimately be ‘hike ready’ in physical condition and with gear going forward.

I could definitely see performing many more hikes and certainly not running half marathons. But, that is putting the cart before the horse. Let’s get one big one in first and see how it goes for the rest of it. I have no formal training plan yet, but certainly there needs to be some gear checks as well as overnight practice. So that is to come.

End Your Programming Routine: On top of the challenges I already have, it is pretty likely that my wife’s treatment is going to interrupt my exuberance. I plan on writing about my progress as I go along so be forewarned. That being said, don’t be surprised if I get off to a slow start. Already June, July and most of August are penciled out to be primary care taker and cooped up in a small room not to be out of earshot of the patient.

June 6, 2024 – Coincidence, I Think So

June 6, 2024 /

If you must know, I am starting this post the Friday before Memorial weekend. I am done with work and hiding out in my office while my wife has a message appointment. This was as fast as I could get to this because it is difficult to move things around once I have committed to a schedule. I think the information is really timeless but the irony is timebound. Hence I wrote the previous sentences.

I have had on my watchlist on Pluto for several months some well known documentaries. Those would be “Supersize Me”, “Food Inc.” and “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”. Believe is or not, I sometimes get tired of having Podcasts run in the background as I work. Sometimes, I want to actually listen attentively and so I stop podcasts until I can dedicate time to pay attention.

Well, two days ago I turned on “Supersize Me” for the first time. I have been in tune with diet for many years. The main character’s name was Morgan Spurlock. He had a film where he only ate from McDonalds for thirty days straight. There were a couple easy rules, he could only Supersize the meal if they asked and he had to try everything on the menu at least once.

All the while, Spurlock was testing his metabolic panel as well as other exterior metrics like blood pressure and weight. There were very few surprises in the film but I would say one was that he gained 25 pounds in a month. I had no idea we could put on weight that fast. The other was increase in blood markers like triglycerides was scary fast. The third was that it took 14 months to lose most of the weight. Some of it never came off.

The irony was that I was checking a headline this afternoon and I saw another one that Morgan Spurlock died today at the age of 53. I had just gotten to know about him only to find out that he had terminal cancer. One has to wonder if some of his extreme behaviors like the “Supersize Me” movie sewed the seeds of disaster.

Way back in 2012 after my wife’s first cancer, I read the “Paleo Solution” by Robb Wolf. I have this theory that all of her illnesses are related to her auto-immune problems. I also belive that auto-immune problems are diet triggered. So, we did it. It was part of our kick-off to running a half marathon at the age of 40.

Her psoriasis disappeared for years. I lost twenty pounds in a month. I think that she lost a little less than that. There is something clearly related to intake and health. I hate to say that we have subsequently degraded from strict paleo to a much more normal diet. And viola, problems come back again.

If it were strictly up to me, I would get rid of all of the junk food in this house. My view is that it is a treat, not a pantry item and should be eaten in moderation. My observation is that junk food constantly is eaten first until there is nothing left but food that has to be cooked. This goes on the list to be restocked next month if we can make it that long.

I am not perfect, I like to drink the beer that I make. I eat what we eat in moderation. But even moderation is too much as well. I have packed on more weight that I would like since I started working again. I am really not going to give advice here other than do your own research. I believe that Paleo is proper and healthy and I know a lot of people have metabolic data to prove it.

Back in my early thirties, I found out that I had high triglycerides. At that time, I thought that I was doing OK other than gaining some weight. When I really looked at my diet it was sugary cereal in the morning, a soft drink at dinner among other habits like that. I thought that was moderation at the time. I have cut most of that out since the Paleo experiment. I really do not have time to properly discuss the science of all of this. Suffice to say that I am not in my early thirties anymore.

End Your Programming Routine: I have worked amongst the food industry for many years. I have seen with my own eyes what these documentaries talk about. If there is one thing more nefarious than the food industry, it is the pharmaceutical industry. It is time to seriously consider health. Thanks Morgan Spurlock for reminding me what absent minded eating will do.

April 30, 2024 – My Life As a Country Song

April 30, 2024 /

No, my wife didn’t run off and my dog didn’t die. But, last week was a different kind of tough. The week before, I was dealing with the side effects of chemo and being a full time caretaker. But, we were mostly at home and sheltering in place. Last week as there was more getting out and about, it seemed like everything was going wrong.

My wife likes to say that I am ‘a glass half empty’ person. I don’t really think so. I like to think of myself as analytical and balanced. I like to see the full spectrum both good and bad. I suppose that to people who don’t like to see both sides, that is construed as negative. I fail to see how always being positive even when the odds seem low is a better trait that viewing the whole picture optimistically.

I say that because I am not complaining. I am going to get to a point by the end today. I think helpful advice is that we cannot change or dwell in the facts. My wife has cancer and we are doing what we can to combat it. All the ‘why me?’ in the world isn’t going to change a thing. It does however make life much more complicated.

This process is moving at an extremely disjointed manner. One day chemo is scheduled every other Thursday, then it is every other Friday. Take this medication before chemo, no don’t take it at all. Come in for this reason, no see this specialist. They are still doing diagnostic testing for goodness sake to determine if they are proceeding in the correct direction. Every conversation is musical chairs in who is running this process and is this information actually correct. This is the background for what I am dealing with.

Then, my son calls and says ‘my car has a problem’. He is about 45 minutes away. So, I have to drop what I am doing to go get him at 10pm. Due to a large coolant leak, I decide the best coarse of action is to have it towed home rather than risk a warped cylinder head. Imagine that I am trying to get my wife ready for an all day procedure that she is extremely nervous about while dealing with the tow truck driver at the same time because the car is locked and twenty minutes from the hospital.

The next day, my SSL certificate updates for altf4.co. Every 60 days this happens. But, it also follows with calamity. It seems like every time I go in there the user interface changes and I struggle with this process. I have come to anticipate the suck, but it does make it frustrating. This time I could not get the DNS provider to recognize my security documents. I tried and tried until I finally broke down and reached out to support. The problem was technical, I am not sure that there was anything I could do.

I was trying to setup my walkie talkies so that I could give one to my wife and I could hold onto one. This would give me some freedom to be out and about the house but still be in communication. This was the whole reason why I went through the licensing requirements that I talked about last week. One of them I couldn’t get to work. I bought new battery packs, I swapped batteries, no go. Finally, I took it apart to find some of the internal components fried.

No problem, I will break out my second set. They are not doing any good squirreled away in my emergency box for years anyway. One battery was dying, so I ordered new battery packs. Low and behold, there are a lot of aftermarket batteries that are similar but not the same on Amazon (even with the same battery model number). So, now I have two new batteries that don’t charge in my radios since I already opened them and threw away the packaging.

Last week it felt like everything was an obstacle. Everything I did had unintended consequences and nothing worked as planned. But, I want to go back to the beginning here. First, I don’t know what God has planned. I also know that I am handed scenarios that I can handle and learn from. As I am writing, things are getting better. My website is running, the batteries are cleared up, the problem is diagnosed with my son’s car and I think we have all the testing done and the path is clear on chemo.

More so than that, when things are not working right we just have to compartmentalize and be objective. Most of these things were not life altering problems. Take the problems and triage, then prioritize the work to solutions. The list might get longer before it gets shorter but we have to focus on the important things first.

End Your Programming Routine: To be truthful, I wasn’t exactly happy while all of these things were going on at the same time. But, being able to step back, it wasn’t huge problems. I suppose it is fortunate that more bad things didn’t keep happening at the same time. Mostly, step back and analyze the problems to the best of your ability. I am no electronics expert but I can see and understand burnt capacitors, Time to cut your losses and move on.

March 21, 2024 – Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)

March 21, 2024 /

I have been incredibly blessed in my life. But I don’t really appreciate it. I have had some perspective to be able to see the mirror but it is so hard to grasp it. For instance, I have never broken a bone. I have never been admitted to the emergency room, I don’t take any maintenance medicines and I don’t need glasses to see.

For some strange reason, I hear songs in my head. I was thinking about titling this something like ‘You cant lose what you never had’ and then this song came into my mind. I started listening and writing.

This started out as a story about my vision. I went to the eye doctor recently because my vision seems to be rapidly getting worse. Now, I go to the eye doctor a lot because both of my parents have glaucoma and I have been ‘glaucoma suspect’ for all of my life. In fact, I gave my son that gift as well.

It is not the effects of glaucoma that I am suffering, it is the effects of age. I am comfortable with the monitoring that is happening and all of my numbers are stable. I was buying spray paint in the fall and I was trying to read the label for the coverage area in a can. I could not read the text. I finally gave up and bought two cans.

The other night, my wife asked me to read the tag on a piece of clothing. I couldn’t make out the letters. It looked like a jumbled mass. My son said, “it’s upside down.” Well no wonder, but I didn’t recognize it.

My vision is generally good. I don’t really need glasses to see. They help a lot in low light and small text up close. I have had glasses for several years that I try to wear when I work. But, I have been very poor about doing it religiously. Last week, I noticed at the end of the day I was worn out, like I just wanted a nap. I thought it was just me sitting in front of the computer all day, but it turns out that when I didn’t have my glasses on I would end the day fatigued.

I am going to have a lot to say about this topic coming up in the near future, just not today. But, having been a spouse to person having life-threatening medical issues, it makes a person realize that we don’t appreciate health when we have it. I don’t carry my glasses to the store to read labels because I never needed to before. It was actually a shock that I couldn’t read the writing. I didn’t know what to do.

It is hard for me to write with this perspective, because I don’t really have it. But, lots of people have glasses. I feel like, if your vision has been bad for all of your life, you don’t give it a second thought that vision correction is necessary to function. When you have never needed it, it is kind of humbling to realize that you are at that point.

End Your Programming Routine: Health is one of those few areas that most of us have a similar journey. Unless you are taken out in an accident or something pre-maturely, we are all going to have issues that we have never had before. I would like to find a way to appreciate those things without having to lose them. I just don’t know if it is in our nature. Maybe the way we appreciate it is that we don’t have to worry about it?