May 5, 2026 – ‘Til You Can’t

May 5, 2026 / / 0 Comments

This is the second time this YouTube video has made an appearance on AltF4. If you want to reference the first time see here. Often on Fridays I have caught up with all of my podcasts for the week and I like to crank up some music while I finish off the work day. It often starts off angry with bands like System of the Down, Limp Bizkit, Disturbed, Rage Against the Machine. After I get that all out of my system, I start to mellow out to songs that are much more sentimental.

I keep coming back to this song because I identify so strongly with the issues, it almost hurts. All week long, I have been procrastinating hole filling and touch up paint because I was planning on tackling it on the weekend. I am doing this as a ‘show ready’ mechanism because as we have taken stuff off the walls and packed all the anchors and hangers remained. When everything was on the wall, it looked fine but all the holes and adhesives remained.

On Saturday morning, my Dad called me and said that he had tickets to the OSU baseball game. I declined because I was planning on filling holes and painting and I hadn’t done anything all week. Realistically, I could have spent a couple of hours working and then went to the baseball game. But, then I thought about all the wasted evenings that I had not used and the what if’s about a potential house showing.

It would be one thing if this was the only time I had ever done this. I remember that we drew deer tags in 2019 when I wasn’t working and I thought I was going to go all season, a first for me. But, then we got audited and I felt guilty about spending money when I didn’t have an income and we owed an additional $10,000. So, I didn’t go because I needed to ‘support the audit effort’.

I think about my son’s 1969 Mercury Cougar. It was my idea to buy a car and work on it. But, we couldn’t get on the same plane about how to go about it. I wanted to spend Saturdays and he wanted to start work at 10PM, my bedtime. I wanted him to put together a plan about how he would like to go about it and he wanted to just take parts off. So, I have hardly helped him a lick.

There is definitely an advantage to being a planner. It has served me well in a lot of the aspects in my life. But, like all personalities it is not all good. It ruins the spontaneity of things. Part of why I coasted all the evenings was that I have taken to sitting down with my wife after dinner. She watches whatever and I read or scroll through the news and blogs that I follow. I read somewhere that couples that are together regardless of whether they are doing the same activities have stronger relationships.

Make no mistake I could probably work from wakeup to bedtime. I always have things the I want to do or need to do. Even the other night I was dozing off to sleep and I was thinking, I should get that pork roast out of the freezer before I fall asleep but I was too tired to move. Guess what didn’t happen? Dinner preparation for the next night and then I was scrambling like crazy to get it all ready in a reasonable hour.

Periodically, my wife reminds me that I have a 100 year old, living Grandmother. Then she uses the the guilt trip on me on how she would love to have living grandparents still. And then, every couple of times I make arrangements to take her out to dinner and spend time with her.

Maybe you are thinking that I am douche or something but this is the way that it was supposed to be. Her end of life plan was to spend her last years at an assisted living facility. Not necessarily to be ignored, but because she is going to handle things the way that she feels is best. For the record, I don’t think that I am completely ignoring her but I will admit that I could do a better job at scheduling time.

I can’t tell you the huge disparity between what my family expects and what my wife’s does. For instance, when my sister in law got married 30 years ago, my in-laws actually went to the hotel to check on them while they were on the their honeymoon. Talk about boundary issues. That is just one example of many times where I couldn’t condone family closeness.

End Your Programming Routine: I know that we don’t live forever. That day is coming for my Grandmother and my Father sooner than I wish to think about. I also know that I could do better and living in the moment. I don’t really know how to and it is a struggle everyday. So, I listen to this song over and over to remind myself that sometimes I need to skip the paining and go to the baseball game.

May 4, 2026 – When Things Go Silent…

May 4, 2026 / / 0 Comments

After putting out a podcast week after week and then all of a sudden to go silent, it is strange. I will admit that I think about it a lot, but time, time, time. And even then, what to say? If there was something important to say, I would probably make the time. With me trying to stay out of politics and living in boxes, what the most important thing to do is actually survival to the next phase.

May 1, 2026 – Surprised By Joy, Chapters 11-15

May 1, 2026 / / 0 Comments

I know that it hasn’t been the most direct path, however we have gotten to the end. This week I have finished Surprised by Joy. That means if you are reading along, then you are done as well. The plan is to cover the last five chapters this week and then go over a total review next week.

If I could say anything about this week, I would say that this is my favorite third of the book. Not only did we get the details of Lewis’s conversion but the subject manner was more than dry, ancient authors, titles and fantasy land. You have a bit of a war story, introductions to the likes of J.R.R. Tolkien and the final, happy conclusion.

I will save my overall opinion for next week. We will focus on the subject matter on hand. Here is a brief summary of the final five chapters. Last week we ended in what I would call high school in today’s parlance. We begin there again. There is one thing that I noticed in chapter 11 and that is kind of a change in tone. It is still primarily reading literature and poetry but an internal struggle seems to crop up. That struggle is the difference between fate and faith.

I think many non-Christians can relate to this. How can God be good and all powerful and yet bad things happen especially to good and faithful people? You hear that as a criticism to faith. That is a question that everyone has to wrestle with but I tend to side on the side of fatalism. I cannot diagnose any situation other than my own but I tend to look at it more like ‘your mission is done’. We cant see the future and only the individuals knows all of the details about their past. What may appear to be upstanding could only be a shell. I simply do not know.

Of course there are all kinds of nuances. Babies cannot be shells, right? Agreed, but it could be that death of an infant spurs some kind of reaction like starting a foundation or a sibling becomes a doctor or researcher. I simply cannot say the impact outside of the obvious ones.

From there, Lewis enlists in the Army and is eventually shipped off to the front in World War I. There is surprisingly little written about this time. It seems that this experience is so polarizing in those that have survived but it really does not seem to make much of an impact in Lewis’s life. I would characterize his attitude as ambivalent and certainly not galvanizing.

After getting wounded and subsequently discharged from the army he starts his life again, now at Oxford. The next chapters cover his life and changing attitudes as they are shaped by that experience. For example, Lewis starts to notice that Christian authors have more depth to their stories. And for that reason it starts to persuade Lewis that he needs to change his path.

I find this a little strange actually. I am not aware of many author’s religion but I cannot say that Lewis or Tolkien stories are any deeper than a lot of the fantasy I have read in my life. One reason that I stopped reading that genre is that I found it incredibly convoluted and nonsensical. Sure, I can suspend belief that magic can happen but when it comes to names, characters and events without definition or context, I simply kind of glaze over.

Another strange behavior is that Lewis admits to attending church without actually believing. I think in most cases, people lose their faith while attending church but never have I heard the other direction. The sensibility of it all is irrational. I shouldn’t have to explain that but dedicating time to something that has no significance is simply not what people do.

In the last chapter, Lewis describes that he doesn’t really know how it happened. Somehow throughout this process he became a Christian. Lewis’s description is Atheist to Theist to Christian. As a result, here is my synopsis of the book title. Joy is a synonym for faith and belief. The whole title is about being surprised to find faith despite the path to get there.

End Your Programming Routine: I would say the ending is a bit of a letdown. Based on how I started this post and where I am at, I bet that you can guess how I am going to come down next week. As evangelists, it makes no matter on how you come to faith but I find it hard to believe that reading literature written by Christians that would make it so. In fact, this might be the only documented case. Then again, people emulate those that they admire. Does that make genuine faith? I am not here to tear down Lewis. He most likely has done more good in his work. It is just that the story seems so improbable.

April 3, 2026 – Surprised By Joy, Chapters 6-10

April 3, 2026 /

I certainly can appreciate that C.S. Lewis is a famous and respected mind in the field of Christian thought. I also admire his desire to take on the philosophical debate about the existence of God. Talk about using your power for greater purposes. But, I have to say, the more I read this book the more that I am ready to move on. If I was not doing this series, I probably would quit the book. That is not somethings I never say.

I went to grade school in the 1980s. When we had some sort of media day, we looked forward to it with great zeal. Remember screens only came into the classroom a couple times a year. I remember that in fourth grade we were watching a rented VHS video. It was something about a boy and a seal. We got about ten minutes into the movie and the kid cussed a couple of times. I think he said something like ‘shit’. The teacher immediately turned the movie off and media day was over.

It made no difference how disappointed we were, movie time was over. The teacher deemed the whole thing unworthy because of a couple of bad words. I am not going to say that I would have made a different decision if I was the teacher. But, I am here to say that I had heard swear words before. It was the loss of what could have been that was more significant.

There is some bad stuff in this book. I am not necessarily ready to throw the baby out with the bathwater, C.S. Lewis that is. However, I what I am learning is that I am getting to the point that I don’t really care. I find myself drifting off while reading because I am not following all of the technical details. Before I started reading this book, I was expecting that there was going to be some kind of epiphany or Devine moment that we could all benefit from.

I applaud Lewis for being candid. I can understand that any victim of sexual assault would turn away from God. School sounds a lot like what I imagine prison to be like. A rigid hierarchy of status and expectations followed by a lifestyle of debauchery. Things are starting to change and we have to take Lewis at face value but it seems like getting lost in fictional la la land is not something I would prescribe to fix his situation.

Part of my attitude relates to my complete and utter inability to relate to the situation. Early on in the book, there was references to literature that either I read or at least was aware of. As the book goes on, those touch points become more frequent and more obscure. Lewis switches context between fantasy and reality using characters and plot lines that make it very difficult to follow.

On top of fading in and out of reality, there is this school hierarchy affectionately called ‘fagging’. I am aware that there are alternate definitions of the word fag but I can certainly see where today’s most common connotation has it’s origin. It is absolute adherence to to the made (typically older) boy having other’s as subservient, regardless of the ask or outcome. Today we would most likely equate fagging to slavery.

The concept is also distinctly un-American. In a culture where we all believe that the opportunity to pull up our own bootstraps is valued, having servants or slaves or at least not having our own autonomy is not relatable. I realize that this is a simplification of the situation, I also understand that this is an argument to be against the idea that God is Good. For that reason, I can see why Lewis continues in the path that he has been travelling.

Things have to change or at least I am hoping so. That is about the only hope left I have in this book. We can start to see that Lewis platonic relationship with the neighbor Arthur is leading in a more positive direction with an emphasis on more and more esoteric book titles. I say that because I have heard of a lot of them but I have no idea what the plot line is about so more fantasy time.

End Your Programming Routine: I would have to say that in the book to date, it is a wonder that Lewis came back to Christianity at all. Today, we are ultra sensitive to mental health as well as equality. I suspect that in those days, if you weren’t born into privilege then your social position was pretty static. In some ways, accepting that position is far healthier than wishing you were somewhere else and everything being someone else’s fault. We will have to stay tuned to next week for that big event.

April 2, 2026 – I Miss ‘Tacticool’ Thursday

April 2, 2026 /

Thursday’s are those days in the week where the eye and the mind start to turn toward the weekend. If you have plans and are a planner like me then those are often the evenings where you are doing the prep so that you can take action as soon as you are off the clock. For instance, if we are leaving for the beach Friday evening you can bet that the goal is to head out as soon as my workday is done. The only way that can happen is if I am ready to step out the door.

Tacticool Thursdays was a cheap and easy way for me to plan my week. It fit into my interest range and I always thought that it would become a business expense. It was the election of 2022 and the passing of Measure 114 that really prompted me to stop doing Tacticool Thursday. I don’t want to be taking pictures of all my stuff and writing about things that were soon to become contraband. That is just not smart.

That is what is called Operational Security or OpSec in the Tacticool world. It certainly doesn’t fit into my ‘gray man’ philosophy. The truth is that I shouldn’t even be writing about this now. It just peels off a scab that is almost healed. The fact remains that I miss doing the segment. I imagine it is what being ‘in the closet’ would feel like. There is a whole world that I don’t dare bring up for fear of the potential consequences.

Thursdays have become much more of a catch all day. It used to be that I would think of things and then wait until they fit into the right day of the sequence. Now it is more like I am writing about whatever comes to mind. That way of working makes it more difficult to plan and execute. I do still try to keep Thursdays focused on recreation however.

For that reason, I am going to talk about fishing again. It is socially acceptable and currently a re-found passion. You might even say that I have kind of gone of the deep end a little bit. I think back to when I was a kid and I had a fishing pole. I didn’t care what type of reel it had or what kind of line was on it. It didn’t matter if it was a casting pole or a spinning pole and the reel type matched to the pole type. More so, the line was within the acceptable specs for the pole.

I don’t know if you have ever taken a charter fishing trip. I am speaking specifically about the ones that you pay and show up. The last one I took, I was looking at the gear that they used and it was all remarkably simple. They were using an Ugly Stick pole with the reel that came with it. The tackle rigged on the pole was rubber jig that we called ‘hootchies’. All hootchies were the same color. That is it.

Was it a salt water pole and reel? Probably not. It was the cheapest option to get things going since it was almost as likely to get lost overboard as it was to catch a fish. I include myself in this conversation because I think that sometimes the details actually get in the way of objective.

This reminds me of a time when I used to work as a chemist. I remember a peer of mine getting a technical service call. The basics of the question were ‘What are the recommended ratios of mixing A and B’? The answer was none because those two items are technically incompatible. We as the experts knew the composition of each as well as the reasoning behind that but it was not public knowledge. Since the caller did not know there was no stopping them.

The right answer is that there are reasons, good ones at that for following guidelines. That however doesn’t mean that things can’t be done, it simply means that there could be consequences for doing things that are not recommended. Maybe those consequences turn out to be less than ideal, long term performance. In the case of fishing, maybe you cannot cast as far or impart the desired action on a lure. But what it does not mean is that you cannot catch a fish. Isn’t that the point?

End Your Programming Routine: I didn’t even talk about the picture. This is my new casting rod. There is a lot of semi-cryptic statements on it. The line should be 8-17 lb test, lures should be 1/4 – 3/4 oz weight. Once you open the package and throw it away, how do you know the lure weight? What if you are trolling or jigging does the reel type actually matter? Guidelines are important when it comes to getting expected results for sure, I am just not sure that it matters that much to the fish.

April 1, 2026 – No Foolin’, It’s Good To Have Box Seats

April 1, 2026 /

Last weekend I went to a baseball game with my Dad. It happened to be a college baseball game with a perennial national contender. The weather was nice, the teams were good and I was looking forward to it. As the OSU team stays chronically good, so does the access. The games are on radio and TV and they get first billing on the local sports report.

Growing up, we had a neighbor whose name is Frank. Frank owned a regional construction company. When I say regional, I mean throughout the western United States, not just doing work but established quarries, trucks, facilities, staff, etc. Frank also happened to go to our church. Even though Frank was our neighbor and went to our church, his kids were four or so years ahead of me and so we were kind of out of cycle. It was a situation where we knew of each other but didn’t necessarily interact routinely.

It has been probably been twenty years now but Frank decided that he was old enough to retire. I am not sure exactly what age that was nor am I exactly sure what in to the decision on how to disposition the company. From what I know, the construction company was started by Frank’s father. Given that I know he has kids, I am guessing that they did not have any interest or possibly ability to run a large regional corporation.

Regardless of the motivations and reasons, the construction company was sold. Frank went immediately into politics and performed a couple of terms as a state senator. I haven’t asked personally, but I assume that he realized it was pretty fruitless to try to accomplish anything in that venue and so then he really retired.

I have already stated that we had some connection. The truth is, I didn’t know him well and neither really did my parents. As us kids moved away from the house and the dynamics in the family home changed, my parents started to get closer, particularly my dad. It was more like a friend of a friend situation. Some church members that were close to my parents were also close with Frank and so that relationship developed. More on this in a bit.

When I was considering career change from chemistry to computer software, I had interview. I remember sitting at a large conference table speaking with a middle aged man. Through the door walked one of the tallest people I had ever seen. He introduced himself as Bill. I hired on and continued to marvel at how tall Bill was.

After working there a few months, another new co-worker was talking about Bill and OSU basketball. It all clicked for me Bill was a basketball legend. He played one year with Gary Payton one of the most successful alums of all time, not to mention an NBA great. And, the year Gary played Bill was the team leading scorer. I was working for one of OSU’s best athletes.

While I worked there, I found that Bill was a patron of the OSU sports teams. The basketball program was not great and there were often eight tickets sitting on the table for tonight’s game. Bill and his co-owner got into football. They had a premium tailgating spot right next to the stadium. I would go to a game or two and so I would stop by and say hi on my way into the stadium.

It has been a number of years now that I have worked at that company. Bill sold out and bought a house in Palm Springs as well as a really nice fishing boat. I am sure that we would recognize each other but I really haven’t seen him in years. I of course deep sixed my position and then went on to work at other competitors after a couple year hiatus.

It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I came to know how Frank has left his mark on OSU. My Dad periodically got some basketball tickets from Frank and these were among some of the best seats in the house. The were mid-court, a couple of rows up and behind the bench. So, you could see all of the action. It was actually the parking that signaled to me the significance of the situation. We were parking against the basketball arena, right next to the entrance door.

After a couple of experiences where I attended games under other circumstances, I couldn’t find a parking spot. I was late to the game and when I did, I had to wait over an hour to get out of the parking lot on a school/work night did I come to know how premium the parking was. Walking into the box to watch a baseball game I looked at the plaque to see the donor’s list and sure enough Frank’s name was near the top. I knew that this was someone that has invested heavily into various athletic programs.

End Your Programming Routine: This isn’t a story of jealousy, clearly I have been a benefactor of Frank’s generosity. I have no idea how much that construction company was sold for but it was a pretty penny. It was enough to get season tickets to every major sport for twenty years, premium parking and still more to build a luxury box and still have plenty left over. I know that Frank is a faithful man, I also know that he inherited some fortunate circumstances. I would even go as far as to say more fortunate than a gifted athlete. I enjoyed the game and we won 19-2.

March 31, 2026 – Could This Be the Best Reel Ever?

March 31, 2026 /

I told you I had fishing on the brain. I am actually at the lake house right now and every time I am there, I try to go to the dock for 20 minutes and try my hand. This is one of those things that is necessary for me to accept moving and downsizing. I have significant access to another hobby that has taken a back seat to others over the years.

In the picture below is my first fishing reel. I can’t remember exactly how old I was when I got it from my grandparents for Christmas but I would guess 12. This was paired for quite a few years with the fishing pole that was given to me by my great grandfather that I never met. I used that setup until my mid twenties when I finally retired that pole because I broke the tip off of it several times.

I replaced that setup with a Shimano Carbomax/Sedona combo that I purchased at a local sporting goods tent sale. It was a carbon fiber rod and sleek, modern looking reel. I thought in my head that my gear needed to match a look as much as perform. The Mitchell reel went on my wife’s super inexpensive fishing pole. I think that we paid $10 for the pole/reel combo that already had line on it.

We still have my wife’s pole, but the reel was junk. I think it lasted a couple of years and something broke. So, my old trusty Mitchell found a new home. Some number of years ago, we went on a camping trip to the beach. If the camping trip is long enough, I find it worthy of packing the fishing poles.

We fished, I caught some bull heads but there was nothing to write home about. This reel has taken some abuse and it happened to get a bunch of sand in it. So I took it apart and when I put it back together, it did not work. That should have been my first clue. A few years later, I was talking to my dad about it and I thought that maybe I should take another look at things. So I did and I found that I had put a compression gasket in upside down. The reel was back in service but I had already replaced the reel on my wife’s pole.

This reel has kind of bounced around homeless since it’s initial pole. I had it on my Shimano pole for several years because I moved that reel to a tiny, gimmicky pole that my wife bought me a number of years ago. I would have put the Mitchell reel on that pole, but it was too big. That finally brings us to today.

This may become fishing week because I have been making a lot of changes in my inventory of fishing gear. But, one of the changes I made was taking the reel off of my backup pole and moving it to another super cheap pole that we purchased for my nephew. When my kids were young (and before I knew that my son was going to be a vegetarian), I purchased some extra gear so that we could go out as a family.

The backup pole happens to be an Ugly Stick when that brand was owned by Shakespeare. I was reading the specs on the pole and it said that it was rated for 6-15lb line. I think I had the original line on the reel so I am guessing it was 8lb line. But the fact that it could hold 15lb line got me thinking that I could set this up as a salmon or steelhead pole.

I had some extra paypal money that came out of some class action settlement that I thought I would find a suitable reel for salmon fishing. I ordered the reel and then about ten minutes later, I thought that I bet the Mitchell reel would be a good fit on that rod. I started looking at the markings on it and it said that it could hold 120 yards of 30 lb mono. That is when it hit me that this could be the greatest reel of all time.

Today’s reels are sized. To get 120 yards of 30lb mono it would have to be at least a 5000 or 6000 series reel. This Mitchell is rated from 8-30 lb line capacity. I looked up the drag specs and this reel is rated for 14lbs. This means that with the drag cranked all the way down, it can stop a 14lb fish. That is definitely salmon sized.

With my primary pursuits being trout and such, I have definitely trended toward the lighter side. I have been lining my reels with either 4 or 6 lb line. But, with my recent goal of moving to the coast, I have started thinking about bigger. That means bigger poles, bigger lines and bigger reels. A reel like this Mitchell is so versatile, it can fill the bill in so many applications, unlike today’s reels that are so specific. I can’t believe that I thought it was outdated and no longer had value.

End Your Programming Routine: Not only did I not appreciate what I had, but I also took a look on e-Bay as well. There are plenty of affordable Mitchell 300s out there. I mean under $30 for functional reels. From what I see, that is half price of almost any other modern option out there. Not only is it flexible but affordable as well. That is what makes it possibly the best.

March 30, 2026 – It’s Easter Week

March 30, 2026 /

In case you are wondering, it is not a coincidence that our current book is Surprised By Joy by C.S. Lewis. That is because it is the holy season. I was hoping to end it here but clearly I got hung up in my own life and so we just got started. Nevertheless, today I make an argument for the true Christian holiday and the hope of eternal salvation.

March 27, 2026 – Surprised By Joy, Chapter 1-5

March 27, 2026 /

Long time coming, I know. It seems like I have been talking about this book forever. That is what it feels like to me anyway and I wouldn’t be surprised if you feel the same way. “Surprised by Joy” is a memoir of sorts. It is self described by Lewis as his life journey that made him a unwavering Christian.

I wouldn’t have gotten here if my moving plans hadn’t changed. While not fully packed, I am as packed as I am going to get until we get some more certainty. You can listen to Monday’s podcast for more information on that subject. But the new found free time gave me the chance to spend a couple of evenings reading.

Lewis didn’t start out without faith. His grandfather was even a clergy man. But, like so many, the parents didn’t take to religion and it lost its place in their family. It probably didn’t help that they were academics and therefore preoccupied by their own interests and pursuits. It has been my observation that academics are the least likely to have deep faith.

There isn’t a ton of context in the book but by Lewis’s description, it seemed like he grew up a little feral. It could be that he was pre-school age, I don’t know. But he also goes onto relay that he was home schooled by his mom. While at the same time, they sent his older brother away to school. Maybe it was a money thing? Maybe they saw something in one and not the other? Maybe that was just the culture of the time?

That only lasted a couple of years until his mom developed cancer. When she eventually succumbed, it broke his dad. It also changed Lewis’s life from an academic standpoint. He was now shipped off to boarding school, just like his brother. Because faith was not a strong component, it really was neither here nor there related to his mother’s death. It just wasn’t a thing.

The first school that Lewis went to went kaput in a couple of years. It was no wonder because from his description, they were mercilessly beaten for no real reason. They also got no real education. He said that his day consists of doing math problems while the other students were grilled over subjects that they had no instruction and subsequent beatings. He brother said that he just kept doing the same math problems every day. Thus, he always got the right answer and no beating.

Numbers of students kept dwindling for obvious reasons causing the school to close. It was off to a new school. Once again, the experience was agnostic as it relates to faith. The second school was a short stint and so I will dismiss it completely here. It was the third school that really made it’s mark. It was here where Lewis proclaims that he lost his faith.

It seems like the turn of events was related to sexual abuse at school. I can see that, it seems like traumatic events can be galvanizing. How can God allow this? Conversely, I would have never made it through this without faith. But, when you start from a weak position to begin with, it is not surprising that Lewis turned away from God. It takes a pretty firm grasp of faith to go the other direction because it just doesn’t make a lot of sense.

I have to admit that in my own life, I have had similar questions. Thankfully, I really haven’t had anything that I would consider traumatic happen. But, the fact remains is how can a good and loving God permit such things as the Holocaust? At the same time, how could there be such rampant abuse by priests themselves?

What it really comes down to for me is that following strict doctrine, you cannot have good without bad. You should recognize that from “Mere Christianity” that we covered last year. I have always intuitively known that, but reading it codified it for me. It is also one of the best philosophical arguments that could be made.

End Your Programming Routine: Right now, we know the trigger of the loss of faith, we will have to see what the trigger is to solidify it. The plan is to read another five chapters for next week. With my newfound free time, I should be able to keep things on track.

March 26, 2026 – You Know What You Value By How You Spend Your Time

March 26, 2026 /

As predicted, the hangover is on from my vacation week. Since I am always thinking a week out, I didn’t do that planning while I was off and packing. This is a picture of my partially disassembled office while I was packing to move. It actually took me a couple of days to pack up my office.

Now, to be fair it wasn’t a couple of days but a couple of days at a couple of hours each. By the time I started packing, it was already known that there is no deal in place. I didn’t really feel the urgency to be solely focused on packing. But, the amount of time I spent was quite eye opening.

The picture represents my life over the last couple of years. First of all, you are looking at the back wall of my office. I worked on it from about February 2022 to my moving in in August 2022. But, even more so than that I see how I planned the outlets, the speaker wire for the preplanned surround sound. The antenna wire for the FM antenna that I built in previous years. What you cannot see is the later added wiring for the AM antenna.

All the AV is sitting on the table that I built. This was built with the tree that I milled in 2005. It dried for almost 20 years before I built the table. I custom sized it to fit in the space. It would accommodate all of the techno-junk that I had accumulated perfectly. Not just that but it also perfectly allowed for the placement of the lamp in the corner.

You see the roll of cables on top of the box? Those were all custom sized to fit the room or custom built to fit the components. As I was unplugging everything I realized how many cables I had built over the years. All of those end plugs were ordered, waited for in anticipation and then satisfactorily put into service.

Honestly, I thought that I would spend even more time in my office enjoying surround sound or reading on the book. I should have known that this is the room I spend the majority of my waking days, I probably wasn’t going to get away with more time holed up in the basement. It wasn’t the enjoyment of the room that drove me, it was the building it.

As a youth, I spent a lot of time playing role playing games. These were primarily kids that were in my Boy Scout troop and so I saw them a lot. However, I remember getting bored after playing a couple of hours. I would start building a new character that I thought was perfect for the current game that we were playing. I have thought a lot about this over the years, its not the act of doing/using/participating that moves my wheels, it is the act of building or the thought of potential that does.

I suppose this is what has invested me into preparation. I have no desire to turn my home into a compound and patrol the perimeter for zombies. But, the idea of building the perfect pantry, shop, parts inventory is exciting. I am building for the potential of the future, not hoping to spring into action.

This process has been cathartic for me. I have made numerous trips to the donation centers for all manner of things. Tools, hardware, material of all kinds have left to hopefully find new and better homes. All that has brought countless memories for me about when and where I was when I purchased it. The funny thing is the least sentimental items were the ones that I acquired via inheritance. It was the ones that I remember getting as a present to our very first home or purchasing when we lived in South Carolina. Never mind the fact I haven’t used it in over twenty years.

My wife says that I am a hoarder. I disagree. To me, a hoarder might have good stuff but it is also surrounded by garbage. I had very little garbage, just stuff that has been sitting around and not used. It had a time and place and that has come and gone. Most of it was there, just in case.

End Your Programming Routine: I know that I am more interested in building than doing. If we do end up moving, my techno junk is going somewhere. If we don’t move, it is probably coming back into my office. That is one example of my madness. What I will say is that this is exactly why I look forward to settling again. The rebuilding cannot occur until that happens. That is what really drives me forward.