April 3, 2026 – Surprised By Joy, Chapters 6-10

April 3, 2026 /

I certainly can appreciate that C.S. Lewis is a famous and respected mind in the field of Christian thought. I also admire his desire to take on the philosophical debate about the existence of God. Talk about using your power for greater purposes. But, I have to say, the more I read this book the more that I am ready to move on. If I was not doing this series, I probably would quit the book. That is not somethings I never say.

I went to grade school in the 1980s. When we had some sort of media day, we looked forward to it with great zeal. Remember screens only came into the classroom a couple times a year. I remember that in fourth grade we were watching a rented VHS video. It was something about a boy and a seal. We got about ten minutes into the movie and the kid cussed a couple of times. I think he said something like ‘shit’. The teacher immediately turned the movie off and media day was over.

It made no difference how disappointed we were, movie time was over. The teacher deemed the whole thing unworthy because of a couple of bad words. I am not going to say that I would have made a different decision if I was the teacher. But, I am here to say that I had heard swear words before. It was the loss of what could have been that was more significant.

There is some bad stuff in this book. I am not necessarily ready to throw the baby out with the bathwater, C.S. Lewis that is. However, I what I am learning is that I am getting to the point that I don’t really care. I find myself drifting off while reading because I am not following all of the technical details. Before I started reading this book, I was expecting that there was going to be some kind of epiphany or Devine moment that we could all benefit from.

I applaud Lewis for being candid. I can understand that any victim of sexual assault would turn away from God. School sounds a lot like what I imagine prison to be like. A rigid hierarchy of status and expectations followed by a lifestyle of debauchery. Things are starting to change and we have to take Lewis at face value but it seems like getting lost in fictional la la land is not something I would prescribe to fix his situation.

Part of my attitude relates to my complete and utter inability to relate to the situation. Early on in the book, there was references to literature that either I read or at least was aware of. As the book goes on, those touch points become more frequent and more obscure. Lewis switches context between fantasy and reality using characters and plot lines that make it very difficult to follow.

On top of fading in and out of reality, there is this school hierarchy affectionately called ‘fagging’. I am aware that there are alternate definitions of the word fag but I can certainly see where today’s most common connotation has it’s origin. It is absolute adherence to to the made (typically older) boy having other’s as subservient, regardless of the ask or outcome. Today we would most likely equate fagging to slavery.

The concept is also distinctly un-American. In a culture where we all believe that the opportunity to pull up our own bootstraps is valued, having servants or slaves or at least not having our own autonomy is not relatable. I realize that this is a simplification of the situation, I also understand that this is an argument to be against the idea that God is Good. For that reason, I can see why Lewis continues in the path that he has been travelling.

Things have to change or at least I am hoping so. That is about the only hope left I have in this book. We can start to see that Lewis platonic relationship with the neighbor Arthur is leading in a more positive direction with an emphasis on more and more esoteric book titles. I say that because I have heard of a lot of them but I have no idea what the plot line is about so more fantasy time.

End Your Programming Routine: I would have to say that in the book to date, it is a wonder that Lewis came back to Christianity at all. Today, we are ultra sensitive to mental health as well as equality. I suspect that in those days, if you weren’t born into privilege then your social position was pretty static. In some ways, accepting that position is far healthier than wishing you were somewhere else and everything being someone else’s fault. We will have to stay tuned to next week for that big event.

April 2, 2026 – I Miss ‘Tacticool’ Thursday

April 2, 2026 /

Thursday’s are those days in the week where the eye and the mind start to turn toward the weekend. If you have plans and are a planner like me then those are often the evenings where you are doing the prep so that you can take action as soon as you are off the clock. For instance, if we are leaving for the beach Friday evening you can bet that the goal is to head out as soon as my workday is done. The only way that can happen is if I am ready to step out the door.

Tacticool Thursdays was a cheap and easy way for me to plan my week. It fit into my interest range and I always thought that it would become a business expense. It was the election of 2022 and the passing of Measure 114 that really prompted me to stop doing Tacticool Thursday. I don’t want to be taking pictures of all my stuff and writing about things that were soon to become contraband. That is just not smart.

That is what is called Operational Security or OpSec in the Tacticool world. It certainly doesn’t fit into my ‘gray man’ philosophy. The truth is that I shouldn’t even be writing about this now. It just peels off a scab that is almost healed. The fact remains that I miss doing the segment. I imagine it is what being ‘in the closet’ would feel like. There is a whole world that I don’t dare bring up for fear of the potential consequences.

Thursdays have become much more of a catch all day. It used to be that I would think of things and then wait until they fit into the right day of the sequence. Now it is more like I am writing about whatever comes to mind. That way of working makes it more difficult to plan and execute. I do still try to keep Thursdays focused on recreation however.

For that reason, I am going to talk about fishing again. It is socially acceptable and currently a re-found passion. You might even say that I have kind of gone of the deep end a little bit. I think back to when I was a kid and I had a fishing pole. I didn’t care what type of reel it had or what kind of line was on it. It didn’t matter if it was a casting pole or a spinning pole and the reel type matched to the pole type. More so, the line was within the acceptable specs for the pole.

I don’t know if you have ever taken a charter fishing trip. I am speaking specifically about the ones that you pay and show up. The last one I took, I was looking at the gear that they used and it was all remarkably simple. They were using an Ugly Stick pole with the reel that came with it. The tackle rigged on the pole was rubber jig that we called ‘hootchies’. All hootchies were the same color. That is it.

Was it a salt water pole and reel? Probably not. It was the cheapest option to get things going since it was almost as likely to get lost overboard as it was to catch a fish. I include myself in this conversation because I think that sometimes the details actually get in the way of objective.

This reminds me of a time when I used to work as a chemist. I remember a peer of mine getting a technical service call. The basics of the question were ‘What are the recommended ratios of mixing A and B’? The answer was none because those two items are technically incompatible. We as the experts knew the composition of each as well as the reasoning behind that but it was not public knowledge. Since the caller did not know there was no stopping them.

The right answer is that there are reasons, good ones at that for following guidelines. That however doesn’t mean that things can’t be done, it simply means that there could be consequences for doing things that are not recommended. Maybe those consequences turn out to be less than ideal, long term performance. In the case of fishing, maybe you cannot cast as far or impart the desired action on a lure. But what it does not mean is that you cannot catch a fish. Isn’t that the point?

End Your Programming Routine: I didn’t even talk about the picture. This is my new casting rod. There is a lot of semi-cryptic statements on it. The line should be 8-17 lb test, lures should be 1/4 – 3/4 oz weight. Once you open the package and throw it away, how do you know the lure weight? What if you are trolling or jigging does the reel type actually matter? Guidelines are important when it comes to getting expected results for sure, I am just not sure that it matters that much to the fish.

April 1, 2026 – No Foolin’, It’s Good To Have Box Seats

April 1, 2026 /

Last weekend I went to a baseball game with my Dad. It happened to be a college baseball game with a perennial national contender. The weather was nice, the teams were good and I was looking forward to it. As the OSU team stays chronically good, so does the access. The games are on radio and TV and they get first billing on the local sports report.

Growing up, we had a neighbor whose name is Frank. Frank owned a regional construction company. When I say regional, I mean throughout the western United States, not just doing work but established quarries, trucks, facilities, staff, etc. Frank also happened to go to our church. Even though Frank was our neighbor and went to our church, his kids were four or so years ahead of me and so we were kind of out of cycle. It was a situation where we knew of each other but didn’t necessarily interact routinely.

It has been probably been twenty years now but Frank decided that he was old enough to retire. I am not sure exactly what age that was nor am I exactly sure what in to the decision on how to disposition the company. From what I know, the construction company was started by Frank’s father. Given that I know he has kids, I am guessing that they did not have any interest or possibly ability to run a large regional corporation.

Regardless of the motivations and reasons, the construction company was sold. Frank went immediately into politics and performed a couple of terms as a state senator. I haven’t asked personally, but I assume that he realized it was pretty fruitless to try to accomplish anything in that venue and so then he really retired.

I have already stated that we had some connection. The truth is, I didn’t know him well and neither really did my parents. As us kids moved away from the house and the dynamics in the family home changed, my parents started to get closer, particularly my dad. It was more like a friend of a friend situation. Some church members that were close to my parents were also close with Frank and so that relationship developed. More on this in a bit.

When I was considering career change from chemistry to computer software, I had interview. I remember sitting at a large conference table speaking with a middle aged man. Through the door walked one of the tallest people I had ever seen. He introduced himself as Bill. I hired on and continued to marvel at how tall Bill was.

After working there a few months, another new co-worker was talking about Bill and OSU basketball. It all clicked for me Bill was a basketball legend. He played one year with Gary Payton one of the most successful alums of all time, not to mention an NBA great. And, the year Gary played Bill was the team leading scorer. I was working for one of OSU’s best athletes.

While I worked there, I found that Bill was a patron of the OSU sports teams. The basketball program was not great and there were often eight tickets sitting on the table for tonight’s game. Bill and his co-owner got into football. They had a premium tailgating spot right next to the stadium. I would go to a game or two and so I would stop by and say hi on my way into the stadium.

It has been a number of years now that I have worked at that company. Bill sold out and bought a house in Palm Springs as well as a really nice fishing boat. I am sure that we would recognize each other but I really haven’t seen him in years. I of course deep sixed my position and then went on to work at other competitors after a couple year hiatus.

It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I came to know how Frank has left his mark on OSU. My Dad periodically got some basketball tickets from Frank and these were among some of the best seats in the house. The were mid-court, a couple of rows up and behind the bench. So, you could see all of the action. It was actually the parking that signaled to me the significance of the situation. We were parking against the basketball arena, right next to the entrance door.

After a couple of experiences where I attended games under other circumstances, I couldn’t find a parking spot. I was late to the game and when I did, I had to wait over an hour to get out of the parking lot on a school/work night did I come to know how premium the parking was. Walking into the box to watch a baseball game I looked at the plaque to see the donor’s list and sure enough Frank’s name was near the top. I knew that this was someone that has invested heavily into various athletic programs.

End Your Programming Routine: This isn’t a story of jealousy, clearly I have been a benefactor of Frank’s generosity. I have no idea how much that construction company was sold for but it was a pretty penny. It was enough to get season tickets to every major sport for twenty years, premium parking and still more to build a luxury box and still have plenty left over. I know that Frank is a faithful man, I also know that he inherited some fortunate circumstances. I would even go as far as to say more fortunate than a gifted athlete. I enjoyed the game and we won 19-2.

March 31, 2026 – Could This Be the Best Reel Ever?

March 31, 2026 /

I told you I had fishing on the brain. I am actually at the lake house right now and every time I am there, I try to go to the dock for 20 minutes and try my hand. This is one of those things that is necessary for me to accept moving and downsizing. I have significant access to another hobby that has taken a back seat to others over the years.

In the picture below is my first fishing reel. I can’t remember exactly how old I was when I got it from my grandparents for Christmas but I would guess 12. This was paired for quite a few years with the fishing pole that was given to me by my great grandfather that I never met. I used that setup until my mid twenties when I finally retired that pole because I broke the tip off of it several times.

I replaced that setup with a Shimano Carbomax/Sedona combo that I purchased at a local sporting goods tent sale. It was a carbon fiber rod and sleek, modern looking reel. I thought in my head that my gear needed to match a look as much as perform. The Mitchell reel went on my wife’s super inexpensive fishing pole. I think that we paid $10 for the pole/reel combo that already had line on it.

We still have my wife’s pole, but the reel was junk. I think it lasted a couple of years and something broke. So, my old trusty Mitchell found a new home. Some number of years ago, we went on a camping trip to the beach. If the camping trip is long enough, I find it worthy of packing the fishing poles.

We fished, I caught some bull heads but there was nothing to write home about. This reel has taken some abuse and it happened to get a bunch of sand in it. So I took it apart and when I put it back together, it did not work. That should have been my first clue. A few years later, I was talking to my dad about it and I thought that maybe I should take another look at things. So I did and I found that I had put a compression gasket in upside down. The reel was back in service but I had already replaced the reel on my wife’s pole.

This reel has kind of bounced around homeless since it’s initial pole. I had it on my Shimano pole for several years because I moved that reel to a tiny, gimmicky pole that my wife bought me a number of years ago. I would have put the Mitchell reel on that pole, but it was too big. That finally brings us to today.

This may become fishing week because I have been making a lot of changes in my inventory of fishing gear. But, one of the changes I made was taking the reel off of my backup pole and moving it to another super cheap pole that we purchased for my nephew. When my kids were young (and before I knew that my son was going to be a vegetarian), I purchased some extra gear so that we could go out as a family.

The backup pole happens to be an Ugly Stick when that brand was owned by Shakespeare. I was reading the specs on the pole and it said that it was rated for 6-15lb line. I think I had the original line on the reel so I am guessing it was 8lb line. But the fact that it could hold 15lb line got me thinking that I could set this up as a salmon or steelhead pole.

I had some extra paypal money that came out of some class action settlement that I thought I would find a suitable reel for salmon fishing. I ordered the reel and then about ten minutes later, I thought that I bet the Mitchell reel would be a good fit on that rod. I started looking at the markings on it and it said that it could hold 120 yards of 30 lb mono. That is when it hit me that this could be the greatest reel of all time.

Today’s reels are sized. To get 120 yards of 30lb mono it would have to be at least a 5000 or 6000 series reel. This Mitchell is rated from 8-30 lb line capacity. I looked up the drag specs and this reel is rated for 14lbs. This means that with the drag cranked all the way down, it can stop a 14lb fish. That is definitely salmon sized.

With my primary pursuits being trout and such, I have definitely trended toward the lighter side. I have been lining my reels with either 4 or 6 lb line. But, with my recent goal of moving to the coast, I have started thinking about bigger. That means bigger poles, bigger lines and bigger reels. A reel like this Mitchell is so versatile, it can fill the bill in so many applications, unlike today’s reels that are so specific. I can’t believe that I thought it was outdated and no longer had value.

End Your Programming Routine: Not only did I not appreciate what I had, but I also took a look on e-Bay as well. There are plenty of affordable Mitchell 300s out there. I mean under $30 for functional reels. From what I see, that is half price of almost any other modern option out there. Not only is it flexible but affordable as well. That is what makes it possibly the best.

March 30, 2026 – It’s Easter Week

March 30, 2026 /

In case you are wondering, it is not a coincidence that our current book is Surprised By Joy by C.S. Lewis. That is because it is the holy season. I was hoping to end it here but clearly I got hung up in my own life and so we just got started. Nevertheless, today I make an argument for the true Christian holiday and the hope of eternal salvation.

March 27, 2026 – Surprised By Joy, Chapter 1-5

March 27, 2026 /

Long time coming, I know. It seems like I have been talking about this book forever. That is what it feels like to me anyway and I wouldn’t be surprised if you feel the same way. “Surprised by Joy” is a memoir of sorts. It is self described by Lewis as his life journey that made him a unwavering Christian.

I wouldn’t have gotten here if my moving plans hadn’t changed. While not fully packed, I am as packed as I am going to get until we get some more certainty. You can listen to Monday’s podcast for more information on that subject. But the new found free time gave me the chance to spend a couple of evenings reading.

Lewis didn’t start out without faith. His grandfather was even a clergy man. But, like so many, the parents didn’t take to religion and it lost its place in their family. It probably didn’t help that they were academics and therefore preoccupied by their own interests and pursuits. It has been my observation that academics are the least likely to have deep faith.

There isn’t a ton of context in the book but by Lewis’s description, it seemed like he grew up a little feral. It could be that he was pre-school age, I don’t know. But he also goes onto relay that he was home schooled by his mom. While at the same time, they sent his older brother away to school. Maybe it was a money thing? Maybe they saw something in one and not the other? Maybe that was just the culture of the time?

That only lasted a couple of years until his mom developed cancer. When she eventually succumbed, it broke his dad. It also changed Lewis’s life from an academic standpoint. He was now shipped off to boarding school, just like his brother. Because faith was not a strong component, it really was neither here nor there related to his mother’s death. It just wasn’t a thing.

The first school that Lewis went to went kaput in a couple of years. It was no wonder because from his description, they were mercilessly beaten for no real reason. They also got no real education. He said that his day consists of doing math problems while the other students were grilled over subjects that they had no instruction and subsequent beatings. He brother said that he just kept doing the same math problems every day. Thus, he always got the right answer and no beating.

Numbers of students kept dwindling for obvious reasons causing the school to close. It was off to a new school. Once again, the experience was agnostic as it relates to faith. The second school was a short stint and so I will dismiss it completely here. It was the third school that really made it’s mark. It was here where Lewis proclaims that he lost his faith.

It seems like the turn of events was related to sexual abuse at school. I can see that, it seems like traumatic events can be galvanizing. How can God allow this? Conversely, I would have never made it through this without faith. But, when you start from a weak position to begin with, it is not surprising that Lewis turned away from God. It takes a pretty firm grasp of faith to go the other direction because it just doesn’t make a lot of sense.

I have to admit that in my own life, I have had similar questions. Thankfully, I really haven’t had anything that I would consider traumatic happen. But, the fact remains is how can a good and loving God permit such things as the Holocaust? At the same time, how could there be such rampant abuse by priests themselves?

What it really comes down to for me is that following strict doctrine, you cannot have good without bad. You should recognize that from “Mere Christianity” that we covered last year. I have always intuitively known that, but reading it codified it for me. It is also one of the best philosophical arguments that could be made.

End Your Programming Routine: Right now, we know the trigger of the loss of faith, we will have to see what the trigger is to solidify it. The plan is to read another five chapters for next week. With my newfound free time, I should be able to keep things on track.

March 26, 2026 – You Know What You Value By How You Spend Your Time

March 26, 2026 /

As predicted, the hangover is on from my vacation week. Since I am always thinking a week out, I didn’t do that planning while I was off and packing. This is a picture of my partially disassembled office while I was packing to move. It actually took me a couple of days to pack up my office.

Now, to be fair it wasn’t a couple of days but a couple of days at a couple of hours each. By the time I started packing, it was already known that there is no deal in place. I didn’t really feel the urgency to be solely focused on packing. But, the amount of time I spent was quite eye opening.

The picture represents my life over the last couple of years. First of all, you are looking at the back wall of my office. I worked on it from about February 2022 to my moving in in August 2022. But, even more so than that I see how I planned the outlets, the speaker wire for the preplanned surround sound. The antenna wire for the FM antenna that I built in previous years. What you cannot see is the later added wiring for the AM antenna.

All the AV is sitting on the table that I built. This was built with the tree that I milled in 2005. It dried for almost 20 years before I built the table. I custom sized it to fit in the space. It would accommodate all of the techno-junk that I had accumulated perfectly. Not just that but it also perfectly allowed for the placement of the lamp in the corner.

You see the roll of cables on top of the box? Those were all custom sized to fit the room or custom built to fit the components. As I was unplugging everything I realized how many cables I had built over the years. All of those end plugs were ordered, waited for in anticipation and then satisfactorily put into service.

Honestly, I thought that I would spend even more time in my office enjoying surround sound or reading on the book. I should have known that this is the room I spend the majority of my waking days, I probably wasn’t going to get away with more time holed up in the basement. It wasn’t the enjoyment of the room that drove me, it was the building it.

As a youth, I spent a lot of time playing role playing games. These were primarily kids that were in my Boy Scout troop and so I saw them a lot. However, I remember getting bored after playing a couple of hours. I would start building a new character that I thought was perfect for the current game that we were playing. I have thought a lot about this over the years, its not the act of doing/using/participating that moves my wheels, it is the act of building or the thought of potential that does.

I suppose this is what has invested me into preparation. I have no desire to turn my home into a compound and patrol the perimeter for zombies. But, the idea of building the perfect pantry, shop, parts inventory is exciting. I am building for the potential of the future, not hoping to spring into action.

This process has been cathartic for me. I have made numerous trips to the donation centers for all manner of things. Tools, hardware, material of all kinds have left to hopefully find new and better homes. All that has brought countless memories for me about when and where I was when I purchased it. The funny thing is the least sentimental items were the ones that I acquired via inheritance. It was the ones that I remember getting as a present to our very first home or purchasing when we lived in South Carolina. Never mind the fact I haven’t used it in over twenty years.

My wife says that I am a hoarder. I disagree. To me, a hoarder might have good stuff but it is also surrounded by garbage. I had very little garbage, just stuff that has been sitting around and not used. It had a time and place and that has come and gone. Most of it was there, just in case.

End Your Programming Routine: I know that I am more interested in building than doing. If we do end up moving, my techno junk is going somewhere. If we don’t move, it is probably coming back into my office. That is one example of my madness. What I will say is that this is exactly why I look forward to settling again. The rebuilding cannot occur until that happens. That is what really drives me forward.

March 25, 2026 – It Is Forever

March 25, 2026 /

Last week was an emotional one. We were supposed to be moving and then we weren’t. I have to admit that I have no idea what to do. The safest thing is to continue preparing to move without any real guarantee that it is going to happen. I am taking you down with me this week.

March 20, 2026 – Surprised By Joy

March 20, 2026 /

A quick note today. I am not reviewing C.S. Lewis’ “Surprised By Joy” today. I have not had time to read recently and the time I have had, I was reading “The Whole Fish Cookbook”.

I have also decided that instead of covering three chapters a week, I want to do five. That puts this series at a month instead of six weeks. I feel like three chapters a week for a memoir is probably too long and I am going to have a difficult time mining the AltF4.co type content.

Consider this a day off. Hopefully I can find the time to get caught up so that next week we can get back on track. If not, I probably won’t mention that I am busy moving again next week. This is my warning.

March 19, 2026 – The Whole Fish Cookbook

March 19, 2026 /

This is a book that I have had on my list for a long time. I heard about Josh Niland on the Anchored Podcast four or five years ago. Actually, looking at the podcast publish date it was more like seven years ago. I put it on my Christmas List for a few years and then finally I cashed in my hotel points that were about to expire for a Barnes and Noble gift card.

A month ago, I went to the Barnes and Noble store because I wanted to spend the gift card before we moved. Yes, it could also be used online but there is something about going to an actual bookstore. The store is a couple of years old and I had never been in it. I figured that as soon as we moved, the likelihood that I would ever go would be slim to none since I hadn’t gone in when it was much more convenient.

I had no plans on what I was going to purchase. Because of our budget constraints, I certainly couldn’t get crazy. I picked up a copy of Anthony Bourdain’s “Kitchen Confidential” which I also want to read. But, I kind of ho hummed because I didn’t want to pay $20 for something I could certainly purchase used for $5 or potentially even get at the library. Then my eye caught “The Whole Fish Cookbook”.

I figure that with our move to the beach comes a large probability that our seafood consumption is going to increase due to proximity to the source. In fact, I have made the mental switch that this is going to happen and besides packing, I have had fishing on the brain. I have been searching real thoroughly for a surf fishing setup. In addition, I have purchased a bait casting rig as well as a new reel for one of my backup poles.

Since it has been so long since the podcast, I really didn’t remember a single thing other than aging fish is a thing. It wasn’t explained and I was very intrigued. The number one thing that I learned about this book is that fish and water do not mix. I suppose that if you were a fisherman, then images of the cleaning station come to mind. Gut or fillet and rinse. That is a no, no.

According to Niland, adding water to the flesh of the fish is an accelerant to decomposition. The fresh off the boat mildness is the result of minimum decomposition. Aging however in fish is as complementary as beef but the fish has to be handled correctly. That means no water.

I will admit that I have not tried it yet but I certainly have plans to. The other thing that Niland promotes is using the whole fish. That means heads, eyes, bones, liver and even scales. I will admit that I am a little less gung ho about some of that but I am willing to try something like a fish liver pate or making a fish sausage. The trick is getting enough livers at any one time to satisfy the recipe requirements.

I just finished the book and so I really haven’t had a chance to try anything yet. I will give some commentary on what I read however. Niland is an Australian so this book is written in the perspective of what is local to him. That also means that this cookbook is addressing saltwater species and not freshwater. I would say that the handling instructions are much less accessible unless you are buying fish off of the boat, not always possible for most.

I suspect that this can somewhat translate from saltwater to freshwater species, it just requires a little more research. It is just that I am not aware of a freshwater tuna as an example. But, certainly a trout versus salmon or panfish versus snapper is possible.

End Your Programming Routine: Because I haven’t tried anything yet, I cannot yet recommend this book. What I can say is that this book opened my mind to new ideas, particularly things that go against traditional preparations and handling. For that, it is worthy of considering. The cooking follows traditional French and British flavorings and the pictures are very appealing. I am ready to try.