Tag: Valentines Day

February 13, 2024 – To the Men Out There…

February 13, 2024 /

This is not one of my usual topics. But I am not one dimensional, I believe in whole happiness and not just having the best tools or skills. And relationships are one of those things. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones that has a partner that is in sync with what you want? My experience and observation says that is probably not the case.

This is the last chance to do something for Valentines Day. Trust me, I despise it and usually I am trying to execute plans that should have been set in motion two weeks ago. Restaurants are already full, events are already sold out and you are stuck. Vow to do better next year but we have to do something now.

I keep a list of things I see throughout the year on my phone. The list is just randomized thoughts about gifts or things that she says. This list comes in handy for birthdays anniversaries and Christmas as well. This helps mitigate deer in the headlights ‘gotta do something now’ mentality.

My wife is a romantic and you guessed it, I find it frivolous. As I said in the beginning, I believe in whole happiness and I am not going to be 100% happy if she is not. It has taken a long time and I still do not like it but I have accepted that I need to put out some effort to recognize and spoil my partner with a little extra attention.

If you are a regular flower buyer, then you probably need zero help from me. In fact, I should be taking lessons. But, I do occasionally buy flowers. I don’t do it always nor do I do it a lot because I don’t want it to become something that is also routine. It helps to have a friend that owns a flower shop because I don’t feel as bad about spending the money. One more tip, ordering from a service will work all the way to the last minute but you will get more for the money or a better deal by going directly to the florist.

A minimum is to buy a card. Write a note that expresses some emotion and appreciation. Combine that with a little something, something like a bath salt or message oil and you have a romantic kit or basket. Remember, it is not the price but the thought especially when you are a stick in the mud like me.

I cook all the time, so that is nothing special. Do something that is different than normal. For me, that would be something like a dining experience. I like Korean barbeque where you cook at your table. Fondue would be another option where you are sharing the menu. But it could be all manner of dining experiences like picking your seafood for the dish or hotpot or build your own burger even. It doesn’t have to be expensive just what fits your partner.

There are all kinds of dating shows out there plus the internet for ideas. Depending on what day of the week Valentines is you may or may not need to do much more. But, if there is some sort of entertainment that doesn’t fit into the schedule, you could propose doing all of this on another day. That doesn’t exclude recognizing the 14th as Valentines Day, so I don’t prefer adding more than it already is.

End Your Programming Routine: I have more ideas that I am not going to share for fear that I may get exposed and then have to execute them. My point is that it is important for me to make my partner feel important. To do that, it takes me out of where I am comfortable and want to be but keeps me where I want to be in life. It is not too late to do something, so do it.

February 15, 2022 – Valentine’s Babble

February 15, 2022 /

Life continues at warp speed. I am trying to recover from my trip, perform as a single dad, keep up with my job, etc. Last week, I was able to finish my day and spend time writing into the evening. This week, I may not be able to do that. So, my priority will be to get Friday’s post out on the American Dream over daily writing this week.

I am sure that all men were aware that yesterday was Valentine’s Day. My wife was in Texas but it doesn’t mean that I will get out of it. It means that it was just postponed for a couple of days. I will be making plans to have a belated celebration later this week.

My son wanted to buy himself some Valentine’s candy last night. We went to the grocery store last night right before it closed. I saw people walking into the store and I said to him, “those are people doing their valentine shopping”. Wouldn’t you know it when we walked in, men were hovered around the cards in hope to find that card before it was too late. Talk about taking it to the wire.

I try not to judge but I am curious, did they wait to shop for a super bowl party right before the game was over? Maybe they needed to wait for a paycheck to clear, maybe this is the beginning of their day, maybe they hate the idea of this holiday as much as I do. I saw candy and stuff on the shelf as soon as the Christmas decor was removed. Next year, don’t be that guy.

I will skip my griping on today’s cars and the amount of gizmos and electronics they contain. Suffice to say, When my Navigator sat for a week, the battery was stone cold dead. I tried to charge it Saturday and Sunday to no avail, so I took it back to where I bought it for evaluation. On my way, I saw some girls manning a table selling pre-made valentines baskets next to the highway.

I was really impressed at the level of hustle. They had a good location and a nice display. I suspect based on what I could see driving by that their target market was the teen in love or the machismo of the population. I thought to myself that this was something I have never seen. I don’t know how well they did, but if they kept trying ideas like that, something will work. Congrats to them.

End Your Programming Routine: I alluded to my distaste for Valentine’s Day above. What I think I have finally learned is that it is not about me. It doesn’t mean that I will like it any more but it changes my perspective. If it important to my partner then it is important to my relationship. And that is important to me.

February 14, 2020 – Happy Valentines Day and Happy Birthday Oregon

February 14, 2020 /

It is always a weird day when there is some official event on the same day as Valentines Day. Oregon became a state on February 14, 1859. I remember going to the Sesquicentennial in 2009. It was interesting and fun where there was a party at the capitol and special flavor of ice cream released by a local maker. We went to the top of the capitol dome and looked over Salem (for the first time in 20 years for me). There were music, exhibits and festivities; quite the party.

But then we get back to reality, it is Valentines Day after all. Now, you have probably guessed that I am not a romantic. However, I do understand the importance of making specific time for your spouse. We will spend a few hours together today and attend an event that is focused on our relationship.

Relationships are hard… I feel strongly about my cabinets being natural, she feels strongly they should be white. I think it is OK the kids can choose not to wear a coat even after being hounded, she feels differently. As I age, I feel like I am getting more stuck in my ways and not as flexible or forgiving or tolerant or maybe gun shy overreacting without empathy. I always need to try to re-center and remind myself of the reasons below.

This person is my biggest critic, but also my biggest supporter. She is quick to anger but first to apologize. She is the fun, the encourager, the enabler, the people person, the caregiver and the love. Believe it or not, she is the reason that I up and left my job and never looked back, not something I would have done without significant prompting.

So, still not a hopeless romantic. But reminding myself that I am lucky to have this someone to be my partner. Yin/Yang or karma or God will give you what you need. Give your partner your attention and Valentines Day that they want. Your relationship will thank you and you might get something out of it too.