I just realized that for the entire month of February, I had titled the date as ‘2020’ and not ‘2021’. I guess that I have been in la la land. Now that error is corrected, we can go on in peace.

I feel like goalsetting is a skill that I have a pretty good handle on and a source of pride. Like most people, I have been guilty of saying goals and not actually doing anything about them. In that scenario, the goal is actually not on a path to completion. For instance, I have said right here in this forum the following things

  1. Q1 I am going to develop a business and marketing plan for this sight
  2. I announced last fall that I was going to build front yard garden beds
  3. My current first priority is to build an office to work from

All three of these things I have made almost no progress. My first regret is that planting season is about six to eight weeks away. If I do not get garden beds made, even one, then I will not be able to keep practicing my food producing skills. Furthermore, this is the time to start seeds so that they can get into the ground. I am weighing whether I should even start seeds because I have a competing priority of building an office.

At least I have some excuses for the office project. I am waiting for a proper paycheck to start buying materials. However, there are tasks that require no money at this point such as clearing the space to build, producing the design and plan are essentially free. What it boils down to is priorities.

Most of yesterday, nearly half of my weekend I was pre-occupied with another task. I won’t get down into the nitty-gritty details but it had to do with my kids returning from an overnight camping trip. The stated issue was that there were some gear failures during the trip. We went through the gamut of not participating again to why this current gear wasn’t good enough. In one example we have gone through four different sleeping bags, none of which are adequate.

Again, this was a long conversation (and day). The problem with the gear failure is not the gear but the mindset of the use. Or said another way, it is my son’s toolbox fallacy. If I only had a better sleeping bag, then I would be comfortable instead of improving shelter skills or making a better bedding foundation or picking shelter location.

Bringing back to priorities, my priorities override my optional goals. Being a father is much higher on the list than building an office of a garden bed or setting up a business. Being a husband overrides being a father sometimes because that relationship will span longer than raising children. And without stability in those cases, it is difficult to be successful with goals.

I also consider my career as part of priorities of both husband and father. I wish that I was in a financial position to keep working on building a business rather than working a job, but that is not a reality at this time. In order to consider additional want’s and desires into the priority matrix, they must fit into my existing priority scales. Of course time is a limiting factor that we all have.

Here are some tips that I have for this scenario

  • Set your priorities first, that way you have the ability to triage how you handle your life.
  • Periodically review your priorities and compare them to recent events to determine if you are living according to your values
  • Set reasonable goals realizing that there is only so many things that you are going to be able to accomplish after priorities are handled.
  • Periodically review your goals to determine your desire to achieve them and the validity as actual goals.
  • You have the ability to refocus milestones within goals and deadlines (for the most part). To me, the most psychologically import aspect of achievement is making progress.
  • If you are not making progress be honest with yourself about how much effort has been made or maybe your milestones are too broad and need to be redefined to show progress better.

I also believe in accountability as a technique for success. If you state your intentions and someone is watching or waiting for results then you are less likely to to skip or do things half-hearted. It is true that some cases are successful with personal accountability, but that means that it has to be something that you really want. I know that has been part of my issue. I was hoping that when I say that I want to do something, it would push me to get it done even if I am dragging my feet.

Ultimately, desires wax and wane. I am periodically evaluating my goals against my priorities. But, goals also have to have priority. So, I haven’t fully decided what exactly will change but I can’t possibly do everything as fast as I would like to have it done. But, I am not going to feel bad about it because they are my goals, not anyone else’s.

I am going to go prune the apple tree that I was going to cut down during the winter now.