Tag: Family Time

October 17, 2023 – Lessons From Deer Camp

October 17, 2023 /

When I was young, I used to envision that I would hunt and fish to my heart’s content. Getting married and setting additional priorities has changed that. I still wish that I would have the freedom and not feel guilty about taking time to do what I want but make no mistake, there is a changing of philosophy.

This year, deer camp was more about father/son time. I brought my son with me and of course I was hunting with my dad (and uncle and brother). When I was young, around eight, my dad used to alternate taking me and my brother hunting. I used to look forward to this time for weeks ahead of time. When it was my brother’s week I used to spend an hour questioning and trying to get the low down on what happened. It is hard to express how jacked up I was by missing out and looking forward to my week.

Now that my dad is in his mid-seventies, the opportunities to spend this kind of time is dwindling rapidly. And more so than that, my son’s time is dwindling as well. He is a senior this year and a lot of his familial interactions have been with his mother’s side of the family. So, it is kind of a opportunity to make up for lost time. I was really a senior when I started to spend time with my mom’s father so it is not too late and was definitely a worthwhile endeavor.

The season that we had tags for lasts nine days. It started on Saturday and ended on the following Sunday. The weather was not favorable for hunting. Yes, mid-eighties sure is nice camping weather but it makes for a pretty dire chance to see animals. For that reason, we did hunt but I also took the opportunity to look around too.

One afternoon, the temp was in the mid-eighties and my son and I went to to see something called ‘Hole in the Ground’. This was apparently a geothermal vent where water got trapped and ultimately exploded causing a giant depression. Unfortunately, the picture does not do it justice. I would say that it this is why going to deer camp was valuable. I would never just spend the time to drive to it or make it a deliberate destination but it is something that we can share as unique to this trip.

I used to be pretty rigid about missing school but that has changed. Not only is my son a senior so there is not much more that he is really going to learn but my observations of the quality of that time has been diminished. I observed in 2020 that seniors just graduated at spring break. This tells me that even the school system really doesn’t take those extra months of ‘education’ seriously. What is a couple of days?

Weighing the time spent family bonding versus a couple of days of school is no question. These are memories that don’t come any other way versus another forgettable high school day. All that being said, I could only afford to take one day off because of my new job so he only missed one day of school. In that case, it really was a minimal disruption.

Ultimately, I don’t really care if my son develops a desire to hunt. I am relatively certain that my vegetarian son won’t. So whatever our future looks like, we will have to meet where we are. I happen to hold many of the same interests that my dad has. That makes it relatively easy. I plan on half-heartedly pursuing hunting and fishing the rest of my life. But, my son’s and I may have to find other places to meet in the middle.

We did see other things, like we saw a wild badger; that was a first for me. We saw how men should behave in an all male setting. I gave him a the freedom to go explore on his own and make some of his own decisions in this setting. I taught my son how to perform a proper deer drive. I think all of those things are character building experiences.

End Your Programming Routine: We left with only three days of hunting put in while everybody else was going to stick out the rest of the week. For our portion, it was scarce on seeing deer and nothing bagged in camp. That is OK because what we got was much more valuable than a trophy. It was me and my son spending time together that we rarely do and hopefully this will be a worthwhile memory. It was for me.

August 29, 2023 – Back To Normal… Psyche

August 29, 2023 /

If you are not from the eighties, you may have never heard that phrase before. Middle school is such a great time to make lifelong, meaningless memories. The last week was the second whirlwind of the summer. We spent the last week burning the midnight oil getting my son ready for his trip to Taiwan.

July was all about hosting an exchange student, getting my older son prepared to go, planning a proposal for my anniversary, executing and cleaning up from our party. Fortunately, my younger son is a mixture of ultra responsible and wildly ignorant. It lulls me into a false sense that everything is alright and under control. You just have to look under the surface a little more.

The phrase ‘are you ready?’ was uttered many, many times this year. Me: “Is all the paperwork together for your visa?” My son: “Yes, it is.” Consulate: “This form is missing a signature.” The net result is visa arrived 13 days before departure and that means a $3100 plane ticket. The Rotary keeps insisting that this is their exchange so I did my best to absorb all the punches as they come.

My son had a number of to-dos to get done. What wasn’t planned was a stomach flu. That compressed everything into four remaining days. Also included in those days were Boy Scouts Court of Honor, Oregon State Fair and the final sendoff with his friends. My wife accused me of not using my previous time wisely. I didn’t know that he needed new shoes, shorts, shirts etc. Remember, ‘are you ready?’

My son wanted to get a computer, I think that is pretty appropriate. All summer long Me: “I need some quotes on what you think you want.” My son: “OK, I am busy with (insert activity). I will do it this week.” We found one at Costco but I gave my Costco credit card to my son in Germany, we will have to wait until mom gets back from France. Mom: “The one you want is no longer in stock. What about this one?” Me: “OK, if my son wants that one”.

Literally, the day before he is leaving the computer shows up. I came upstairs from a work break and the opened box was on the table with the still wrapped computer setting on table. I knew that he was at the fair all day, so I plugged it in to make sure there was a full battery charge. But, you don’t just pick up a new laptop and go. There are updates, profile transfers, software installations that need to be done before it is ready to go. Talk about taking it to the wire.

The flight was at 6AM. Rotary said repeatedly be at the airport 3 hours early. For most people that is good advice. But, I travel a lot, including internationally. The only thing that they do differently is check passport and visa at the counter. Otherwise, it is just like any other plane ticket. Part of the reason for planning to get to the airport early is to accommodate for traffic, running late and those types of variables. Nevertheless, we went with the advice.

In order to get to the airport at 3AM, we had to leave the house at 1:30AM. This is the absolute best time to drive through a metropolitan area since traffic is little to none. It was a very short night getting back from the fair and 10:30PM. We powered through as we do but I will say that I crashed at 7PM. That was the longest I could go.

There is my son about to board the plane. You may wonder why there are no faces shown? I have pictures, but in this case, I don’t have permission to show others. He is travelling with another student to Taiwan as well. So, at least there is safety in numbers.

End Your Programming Routine: I did find out that he arrived safely. Also as I am writing, my older son is on the plane back home and we will be picking him up in a few hours. If you listened to the podcast, you would know that there was some emotion in this overall event. I have largely come to terms with that. So, back to normal? Back to the new, normal.

June 6, 2023 – Success, After Several Years of Effort

June 6, 2023 /

If you spend time in the woods, you hear about things that are interesting or unique. And being in the woods, they can be difficult to nearly impossible to find. This is particularly true in western Oregon where there is a patchwork of private timberland, US Forest Service and Bureau of Land Management parcels.

The reason being is that road numbers can change depending on who owns the road, signs often get vandalized as well. We have little to no cell phone coverage and GPS coverage is even compromised due to tall trees and land obstructions. Add to that, some companies believe that access is by permission only and gate roads. So you can start out on a public road only to be blocked by a gate.

What I am saying is that it is difficult to get paper directions and it is no guarantee to use electronic directions. So, if you don’t know where you are going you will be hard pressed to get there. About ten years ago, we went on a trek to find ‘Valley of the Giants‘. It is a long story, but we would not have made it but for talking with some people that we met out in the woods who drove us there.

Memorial Day, I finally made it to South Lake. It started two years ago I was hunting and I saw a sign for the lake. I tried to find it when I was driving around. I assumed that it if I followed the main road, I would get there only to be blocked by a gate. I tried several different side roads to be blocked by impassible road conditions. But, as I talked with people it seemed everyone knew how to get there.

When we had our first real nice weekend in May, I tried to go there using Waze. I tried two different approaches that were blocked with snow. I talked with my neighbor a few weeks later and he said that all the roads were snow free. So now it wasn’t an adventure it was a mission.

When we got there we found a real gem. It is called a dispersed camping area but it really means that there is an outhouse and a some roughly marked camping sites. It does not have things like running water or tables at the sites, but it is also free. I didn’t even know that such things existed. Even the super remote BLM sites are ten dollars a night.

This being a holiday weekend, it was somewhat crowded. I talked to some people that had some car problems (two flat tires, not a good place to happen). I offered them what I could which was a can of Fix-a-Flat and they indicated that there was probably 30 people camping over the weekend.

Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife stocks this lake. This often times makes the endeavor easier because the fish are used to being fed and are not wiley of many natural hazards. It also makes it a little more guilt free, it is the purpose of these fish to get caught. We fished for five hours or so and caught a few fish. We also lost some fish and we had a lot of strikes. It was fun.

I think the most amazing part of the day was a pair of bald eagles chasing each other around and helping themselves to fish in the lake. I blew my mind to hear the feathers fluttering as they attacked the water. I don’t know of any comparison of the sound other than a swooshing dive bomb.

End Your Programming Routine: South Lake has a sister called, you guessed it North Lake. I have heard that it is smaller and more remote. I have also heard that as a result the fish are bigger. Now, this is my next quest. Not only with my summer projects, I have fishing on the brain. I hope that I can find time to get some of both in. I love the adventure, I love the fact that we caught some fish and it is good family time too.

May 16, 2023 – Pretty Sure I am Out of Gas

May 16, 2023 /

I think that this is circumstantial more so than the new state of being but I may not get to post Wednesday or Thursday. When I talked about Hair on Fire in late April, I wasn’t kidding. We had so many things on the schedule last week that even eating fast food was at 8PM and I left work early Wednesday through Friday.

It doesn’t mean that I am not doing stuff, I am here and there. I did manage to get a little reloading done mostly in 15 minute increments. I also swapped out a faulty sprinkler head that I put off last summer. If you remember my major project was re-siding the south side of the garage. I had the sprinkler off for a lot of that and then when I turned it on, I had a geyser.

I am still cleaning up after the Mother’s Day party on Saturday. You see, I don’t always start and complete one project in a single line. I had to organize the pantry in order to fit the leftovers back in. While the coolers are drying out, I am going to put those away and with that I am going to do some keg prep. I have 15 gallons of beer that are almost ready for serving.

If it is not clear, those things are all related. One trip to take stuff to the basement yields another trip out with stuff for the next phase. My wife thinks I never get anything done. But she doesn’t realize my effectiveness of movement. It appears like I am starting something new without finishing the last thing. To me, it is all a very calculated order of operations.

That being said, I have been super busy but yes I have been doing things. What I haven’t been doing is taking photos or thinking about what to write about. I haven’t been stubbing out articles and I need that planning so that I can write when I get a chance. It is what frees me up to work within my schedule.

End Your Programming Routine: Part of why I started with the warning is I don’t know what topics I might write about this week. I think that if I did, then I probably would get it done. As I eluded, I am continuing to do small things here and there, this is what leads me to the conclusion that I am out of gas. Don’t fear, I love doing this I just probably need a short break as things are starting to clear up on my schedule.

May 10, 2023 – Stop and Smell the Oregon Grape?

May 10, 2023 /

Did you know that the state flower is the Oregon Grape? It puts on some small fruit about the size of a current or elderberry. I have never tasted it, I think it is more herblike or something that is probably used in very small quantities. The truth is, I have only ever seen it in planting strips and never in the wild. I didn’t realize that it actually flowers, but knowing that it fruits, it only makes sense.

You might say that my writing is themed lately. Some might say a broken record and others might say desperate or even whiny. But, life is busy. I can’t help that it feels like our schedule is a crushing weight. So, I have to find the silver linings in things. Today is one of them.

I suppose that you can say this is a different take on adventure that I wrote about last week. My wife says that I am glass half full. Which means that when I end up helping out by babysitting, my first reaction is all the things that I cant do. I know in my heart that what I am doing is the right thing to do which is why I hesitantly commit to doing it. I don’t know why I am wired this way, it just is the way that it is.

The saying “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” is so true. It means make the best of a sub-optimal situation or even do something better with it. To me, giving up a day to entertain a five year old is a precious commitment. With a barn-burning schedule during the week I need some space to just be me.

Back when my wife and I were younger and we talked about a family, we were seriously considering having four kids. God had a different plan for us and circumstances dictated that we had two. Now that my kids are nearly adult age, I am entering my post child phase. I can see why older parents are much more laid back about kids because they know that you provide a safe and solid foundation and the rest will take care of itself.

Some kids are going to embrace and thrive in the freedom while others are going to take a while longer. I don’t think any any amount of baby sign language or pre-primary music/sports lessons are going to change that. Those things prove to the parents that they are committed to do what it takes to make their child successful, but nobody else. I do think that when parents are confident, so are the children but I am already way off track from where I want to go today.

When I commit to babysitting, I try to think outside the box. What have I been wanting to do but haven’t taken the time to do? On any given normal day I will keep myself busy all day long with all the tasks and projects that I want to do. I won’t necessarily go to the local bird refuge and walk the half mile gravel path or plan a picnic at a close by park. I won’t take the evening to walk the dog to the nearby dog park or pick dandelions out of a yard as we walk by. I won’t drive home the slow way using the ferry to cross the river.

This is the reason why I have never seen the Oregon Grape flower, because I have never stopped to look for them. I didn’t realize that I should. As much as I hate to admit this, God is giving me the message to try harder and life is more than a check-list of to dos. It sounds intuitive, right? But, this is my programming that I have to change.

Before you get the complete wrong idea, not every babysitting day is a whiz-bang trip. Sometimes, kids need to learn that adults need to do stuff that kids won’t enjoy. Sometimes kids need to participate in things that they won’t like. But, the whole thing is a balance. It shouldn’t be always one or the other and it certainly should be some of both.

During the summer of the time I was between jobs, I used to do something called adventure Thursdays. That was the day of the week that my wife worked from home so it got us out of the house. We drove around to parks in the county and waded in local creeks, explored roads, bought chocolates made by monks and just looked beyond the boundaries of our house. We stopped at signs and read them and took turns just to see where they went. It was nothing fancy, just something I wanted to do.

The whole eighteen months of me not working is starting to fade into memory. It is hard to think that I spent over a year with the freedom to take in life. I was a better and happier person while I was doing it and for doing it. I think today I would have to force my kids to come with me, not to do it by choice. I look back that those experiences were special. Not because they were grandiose but because the relationship of time and space is something we will never have again.

End Your Programming Routine: I don’t fancy myself as sentimental. That is not what this is about today. But, I talk plenty about doing things; my life is driven to doing things. Often, I forget that doing things is not the whole picture of living, just one aspect of it. I took this picture because I was awed by something I had never seen. Not just never seen but right in front of me never seen because my eyes weren’t open to something greater.

May 9, 2023 – (Sunday) We Have a Free Day, Let’s Go to Costco… No

May 9, 2023 /

I am sure that I violated some kind of title rules with punctuation and choppiness. But this is what I want to say today. It has been a long time since I have talked about productivity and planning. Today I wanted to share my philosophy to prove that I have my priorities all jumbled up.

At this point in our lives, we are slaves to the schedule. In between our own commitments and our kids (let’s not forget Mother’s Day is coming up). It is really hard to get a down day in. I tend to look at things in the light of what can I do on a weeknight versus what needs to wait for a weekend.

We usually do a monthly shop at Costco for groceries. Since we are planning a Mother’s Day dinner, we need to get some stuff for that as well. Looking at what was happening this weekend, we say Sunday afternoon was open. My wife said, we need to go to Costco. I said no.

First of all, we don’t need to go to Costco. We have several grocery stores in town and we are not really out of anything given our well stocked freezers and pantry. It is not exactly convenient being thirty minutes away. There is also the commitment of putting things away. Because once you start, you are committed until at least the refrigerated and frozen items are put away.

Another reason I don’t want to go on the weekend is that it is the very worst time to be at Costco. Parking is a mess, the stores are full. But, there is a third and more overriding reason to not do this. That is, this is a task that can be done during the week. Whereas, there are many things that I really cannot do on a weekday.

Did I use my time wisely? Maybe, maybe not. I ended up coming home late from trap, I transferred my beer from the primary to the secondary, I changed the oil in the pickup, we played tennis as a family and I spent some time with my wife watching a movie. I would argue that any one of those tasks could have been done on a weeknight. But what doesn’t happen is unstructured time in large blocks.

I need some time that I can just do what I want. It makes me feel like I have some control in my life. Looking at the week ahead, I have the following schedule Monday – YMCA meet and greet, Tuesday – Incoming Freshman activity fair (for trap), Wednesday-Friday – Tennis Districts, Saturday – Trap and Mother’s day dinner Sunday – Mother’s Day. The truth is, I really don’t have an open day this week. That being said, I am sure that there is going to be some time in the evening Wednesdy through Friday. I just don’t have the precise schedule until we get there.

My schedule has not been much different this entire spring. Between sports and my kids getting ready for exchange, it seems like everyday is penciled in something. I will also offer an alternative way of looking at things. Don’t wait for the weekend to do things, do what you can during the week. It is not about the day of the week but the efficiency of the job with the blocks of time available.

End Your Programming Routine: Summer is coming and this marathon will change. Notice I didn’t say end. When you are a distance runner, when you see the finish line you run as fast as you can. This is called the push. We are in the push phase with the family. In a little over a year, I will have one in school. When the choice is either family tennis or going to Costco, the choice should be pretty clear. Choose the right time for the right task.

March 20, 2023 – My World Tour

March 20, 2023 /

Sometimes we joke that we are going on a Griswold Family Vacation. That is partially based on where we are going and how we are going to achieve it. I myself have some additional business travel that I am not really looking forward to as well as us driving all over the southwestern United States.

I also spend a lot of time talking about the types of trips that I took throughout my life during the Spring Break period. This is to give an idea about the things that we have done and provide inspiration for you to make your own memories.

End Your Programming Routine: Time seems to be accelerating. By the time we get to the Summer, my family is starting to scatter to the wind. I talk about some of the reasons we are taking this trip in the podcast. I am definitely not getting sentimental, but my kid’s futures are starting to get real. Enjoy your time while you have it.

March 8, 2023 – Cooking For Crowds

March 8, 2023 /

Last weekend, we had a family weekend. There was fourteen of us and we took turns with different meals. My mom made the comment that I am using to cooking for crowds and that is true. What isn’t is that everyone has a lot of experience doing it. With the size and frequency of gathering with my wife’s family, I have cooked for thirty many times, often without much warning.

Probably everyone has thrown a party. In a limited extent, people have some knowledge about what it takes. But, throwing a graduation party is really a different than breakfast for fifteen. I thought that I would take some time to talk about some tips today.

The photo above is not last weekend but a typical night in Spain. The way that they do it, people in attendance all bring something to share. I would say it is kind of ‘pot lucky’ which is a little bit different than a weekend getaway. But, certainly another idea.

Here are some things that I think make a difference.

  • Don’t expect perfection. It’s not a wedding, just a meal. Relax and go with the flow.
  • Calculating proportions: take what you eat or your family eats and extrapolate the total count
  • Keep dishes simple like soup and rolls, chili dogs, scrambled eggs, spaghetti or lasagna.
  • The oven is your friend. If not cooking in it, it can be used to keep stuff warm so that everything can be served at the same time.
  • Don’t be afraid to have others contribute, it lightens the load
  • If you are limited by silverware or table space, people can eat in waves.
  • Prep as many things as possible before cooking. Have ingredients cut and ready to cook. It is way more important the larger the meal.

A sample menu for our weekend was Friday night: pizza (we cheated), Saturday Morning: frozen cinnamon rolls, sausage links and scrambled eggs, Saturday Evening: build your own tacos and Sunday morning: pancakes and sausage with leftovers thrown in. Notice that we didn’t plan for lunch. There was plenty of leftover pizza and other snacks around to bridge the gap. Truthfully, I wasn’t hungry anyway given that we had a large and late breakfast.

End Your Programming Routine: You can do this. Unless you are running a restaurant or you simply want to spend your time cooking, the point is to get in and get out. That being said, cooking itself can be family time. So, relax and it will be what it is.

January 9, 2023 – How to Play Cribbage

January 9, 2023 /

I have tried to change it up from the serious and heavy to the light and fun. So, when thinking about getting ready for New Year’s Eve, I was thinking about how we used to play Cribbage as a family on that particular day. I thought that I might be able to attempt to describe how to play on a podcast. You be the judge.

End Your Programming Routine: Being that this is kind of a game of passing time, you think about what is the value of a game like this. At fishing/hunting camp it is filling out the evening so that you can get to the purpose tomorrow. Or for sailors, it is the same kind of thing. It is a game worth having around in my opinion, whether you are waiting for the ball to drop or holed up in your bunker.