This was graduation weekend last weekend and my nephew got his bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice. I love graduation, I think it is the best feeling weekend of the year. There is so much hope, optimism and genuine happiness, particularly at the higher level. Most of the graduates are in their early twenties but if you look around there are many non-traditional students as well. Everyone is smiling and celebrating. And unlike high school, blood and treasure was expended to get this degree; it was earned.

Since he lived with us from eighth grade through high school, this was close to a child graduating. Normally, I don’t write about other people but I will make an exception today for the graduation speech that should be given. For simplicity sake, I am going to use his first name, Isaac.

Obviously, if he ended up living with us then not everything was as good as it should have been. He had the dream and capability but he needed the structure and support to reach full potential. He dreamed of helping people when he entered the world and to him it was becoming a police officer.

During the course of studying criminal justice, Isaac enrolled in the cadet program with a local police department. In the program, cadets perform auxiliary support for events like crowd control and get exposed to the life. It also puts them on a list to be hired if an opening appears and builds the resume with practical experience. So, it is a good step in goal setting and achieving the dream.

Somewhere along the way in the last year, dreams change. Isaac moved into the our little house in the back that I remodeled last year with his girlfriend of several years. Early in the calendar year, he decided that he wanted to go into a different direction and work in the social services area, not being a police officer. So, he quit in a sense.

Now, we are going to slight shift. I am pretty open minded but I try to stay arms length at other’s relationships until I know that it is going to progress into permanency. It looked like this one was going to but there were some things not quite right. You have to understand that when someone lives in your backyard, I notice a lot. And, it is not because I am watching and waiting, but I see the body language and the coming and going.

For instance, they didn’t appear to have anything in common. She had friends but they were not really his. They didn’t really do anything together, some of that was circumstantial because of school being a priority. There was a vibe that this was progressing seriously but couldn’t sustainably. I will make a long story short in that they broke up right before graduation.

The graduation party that we held this last weekend had some unspoken temperance and somberness to it. It didn’t have the unbridled exuberance that it should have had because of course, emotion was raw. When a life is built on one premise and that suddenly changes so do the dynamics. Finally, to my point.

There is a saying “When is the best time to plant a tree”? The answer is ten years ago and the next best time is today. When you quit a relationship that isn’t working or a career path that doesn’t fulfill, you are free to pursue one that does. And, ultimately isn’t that the path to true happiness?

Failing and quitting are not quite the same thing. Failing is in the act of whereas as quitting is in spite of. Our culture does hold those two things in different regards. One might be celebrated while the other might be admonished. We have all heard ‘Quitters never prosper’ but is that really true? What are they quitting? Is is toxic or soul crushing, it it preventing true happiness?

While the timing was less than ideal, we are planting a tree here. Isaac being in his early twenties is a good enough time to get started. Life is transitioning in the biggest way possible at this time. This is when he is truly moving out and up.

End Your Programming Routine: I want to say that quitters will prosper if they are looking for a better replacement or at least trying something out. There is no way to know if a career path is a good fit without trying it. If you pursue things because of sunk cost fallacy or to please someone else then you risk being miserable in the process.

We always have a choice. It may be that the cost is deep and the effort is high but that is not no choice. There is a smart way to quit, so don’t be stupid. Ask for help and support. Have a rough idea of a transition plan and hope for the best. After all, this is your life at stake.