Recently, I was listening to ‘The Art of Manliness’ podcast about how to tell a better story. It was the guest’s position that learning the art of story telling has major benefits. After listening to his perspective, I can certainly buy some of his position. No doubt that you can become a more compelling social person if you have the capability to tell a story on a whim.
I am going to go out on a limb and say that I think I am a decent story teller. In fact, much of what I write and talk about are stories. They stem from something that I observe in the course of my day which then spurs me to offer an opinion or analysis. Most of my podcasts are stories. I was observing that I often take the majority of the time setting up the background only to have the last quarter or so be the punchline. That sounds like a story to me.
I will never be a social person, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t recognize the value of being able to use social skills effectively. I have spoken in the past about my benefit in doing this work and how it has translated in other areas of my life. I have always been a thoughtful communicator, choosing my words and interactions carefully. I have been very bad at impromptu interactions.
I remember this one point in my life where I actually observed a shift in nature. I was at a project site in Denver Colorado. Things were not going well and the client was getting upset and asking me very demanding questions. I had been travelling with several peers for months and they were not present this week. There was a group of new programmers with me, so I was seen as the leader.
Well, the questions were not about my work and I was not expecting this social dynamic. I faltered and one of the other programmers took over. From that moment on, his career skyrocketed. He became the project manager, then the program manager and finally the general manager in the course of three years. It was as if in that moment, I was watching an opportunity slip from my grasp.
That was almost fifteen years ago and I am a different person today. I am much more confident in the unknown and I have a better developed sense of business acumen. I should have been more prepared to understand what my expectations were going to be going into that week and it took that experience for me to learn. I am not upset or bitter about it, I was naïve. That was a story to tell that story telling has value. How about that?
There was one other profound thing that I heard in this podcast and that is a day not remembered is a day lost. The concept is being in the moment and then later reflecting on it as the genesis of finding story worthy moments. It fits into the Earnest Hemmingway quote perfectly “slowly, then rapidly”. The slowly part is all the things that were lost into how this situation happened. It is the not paying attention and then all of the sudden the moment is here.
End Your Programming Routine: I actually do not think that story telling is a superpower. In fact, I found the story at the end of the podcast very egocentric and a bit of a downer on an otherwise novel discussion. It felt forced and contrived. Being able to come up with a story is one skill, relating it to the situation well is another. Another tactic that I have studied in sales is silence. Know when to use it rather than a narcissistic story.
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