I have been a skeptic of ADHD. When I see statistics that say 13% of Americans are on some sort of mood altering medication, it makes me skeptical of the entire system. After wrestling with my son over some important issues, I have begun to look into what ADHD really is. I still am skeptical of the overall discipline but not as much ADHD. I have to say that my mind is open.
End Your Programming Routine: My son is a good kid. He rarely gets into trouble. But, he also rarely follows through with things that need to get done as well and that is cause for concern. I don’t think any amount of yelling or punishment is going to change that. This is a journey, so we will see where it goes. Today was the basics.
Last night, I got home from a long week of travel. While I had my iPad with me all week, I just didn’t have the energy to write. So, this was supposed to be published on Friday but it wasn’t quite finished. I am going to have several more weeks of this, mostly through the summer before life returns back to something more normal.
This is the chapter that things finally turn in the book. The tribe has permanently split into Jack’s group and Ralph’s group. The original tribe still has assets that Jack does not have, primarily Piggy’s glasses and the ability to start fire. This of course leads to conflict or more specifically theft.
The elephant in the room is what happens at the end of the chapter. Simon in some sort of reduced mental capacity is sacrificially killed when he stumbles out of the bushes and into the group of blood thirsty hunters. This is the big moment that all of the pundits have been alluding to throughout the analysis of the book.
I guess where I am at with this is it seems awfully cultish. I get it that this is an exaggeration but it is like the kids can’t help themselves. They seem to be in a trancelike state whereby ‘of course we couldn’t control ourselves’. It is not said explicitly that Ralph and Piggy participated, but the sure did not stop it.
I sometimes wonder what it is like to be entranced in some sort of blind following. The last thing I remember was when I was in college, there was a cult somehow connected to the appearance of the comet called Hale-Bopp. The cult was named Heavean’s Gate. It was discovered that near the end of the comets visibility, most of the cult members killed themselves.
From what I know, the surviving/former members really never talked publicly about how this could happen. Granted, this is the first time I have ever really researched it since knowing of the event. The fact still remains that I wonder what drives a person to move from considered normal to terminal, blind faith.
There is a difference between dying for your faith and dying as a result of it. When you analyze things like Wako, those are events where people died as a result of their beliefs. Many things went really wrong and ultimately they paid the price. I would say that they prepared to die for what they believed, but I don’t think that they thought it was a fact that it was going to happen.
Before I get too off track, what is the reason that people get involved in these endeavors? In my opinion, it is a few factors. One would be a belief that already leans toward the vision of the cult leader. The second would would be that they are lonely or unfulfilled and the social connections validates their beliefs. The third would be a charismatic leader (at least to the followers) that keeps driving the values or beliefs of the group. Huh, it kind of sounds like Jack is a cult leader.
End Your Programming Routine: Before I finish this review series, I think that I am going to end in a different place than most of the literary critics. Is that any surprise? Make the correlation to a group of people looking at the facts (or the book). Clearly each person’s bias is going to overlay on interpretation if it is analyzed in a pure vacuum. Said a different way, how could I look at a story and agree with a group of people that don’t have the same outlook as me? Nothing changes as a result of whether we agree or not, but don’t necessarily accept the status quo without doing your own research.
I talk about what life has been like in the last year since the big fallout. You will know what I mean when you hear it. Despite the bad and the ugly, I choose to highlight the good.
End Your Programming Routine: Just like John Mellencamp said, “It’s probably where they will bury me”. Whether it is my current town or a new one, small towns are for me. Sure they have some downside but there are a lot of upside too. I just wish that things didn’t go the way they went.
For so much of the book, the story has been a little ho-hum. This is about to change in this chapter. It’s a good thing because we are now 2/3 of the way through the book. It has been a little hard for me to get into the book at times.
I suppose the most significant event of the chapter is the split of the boys. Most of them go with Jack to hunt and have fun while a few stalwarts stay with Ralph. Since they split abruptly, Jack’s group leaves without key resources or a place to go. For Jack’s first command, they go out to hunt so that they can have a feast and celebrate their perceived superiority.
We finally find out the namesake of the book. The Lord of the Flies was a pig head that was left on a stake as a warning/gift for the beast. The Lord of the Flies speaks to Simon and he passes out with fright. Speak maybe, more like threaten. The Lord of the Flies commanded Simon to have fun or he would kill him.
It’s really hard to say what is going on. Simon seemed like the level headed one, yet he is hearing the Lord of the Flies. Is it Malaria or dehydration or simply isolation? I really don’t know nor do I fully understand the demand. Is fun equal to joining Jack? I would describe the hunters as making the best of the situation. I don’t really believe that anyone is really having fun.
I have to say, this is the part of the book and other’s analysis that goes off the rails for me. Some people claim that Simon and the Lord of the Flies is a representation of Christ confronting the devil. Others say that this has a Freudian subconscious overlay between Jack, Ralph and Piggy. Whether it is or isn’t, I still have to wonder the significance of the interaction at all.
It is kind of hard to analyze a group of kids in the context of the topic of human survival and civilization. I feel like they are too immature to make complex and altruistic decisions. This translates to the main characters act in some ways years beyond their actual ages. That being said, I know someone that was twelve and scared that some beast was going to break into the house.
I realize that this is just a story. As such, anything can happen because it is made up. I give high odds that a group of twelve to seven year olds on a deserted island die of starvation, exposure or disease in real life let alone form coherent, functioning tribes. I will stop at the criticism here.
It’s not just children that succumb to half cocked leaders. All kinds of cults, politicians and celebrities command the same following. I can pick on Trump tards or Squad members. Both put aside logic and blindly follow. It is a little easier for us to understand a child’s delusion.
End Your Programming Routine: OK, so maybe I am reaching here. I suppose that you can feel where I am going to end up by the wrap-up of the book. But, you will have to wait and see. It is pretty self-evident that if two leader types have strong disagreements that there will ultimately be conflict. We see that all the time. The real question is what do you do about that and how is it handled. In this case it is to go their own ways.
Yes and No. I am clearly late today and that is because yesterday was a full-contact holiday and we had to run our former exchange student to the airport this morning. Also true is that I don’t have anything constructive to say at the moment. I saw the cliff coming last Friday and was hoping that I would come up with some magic over the weekend. Then on Monday, I knew I didn’t even have a topic identified but was hoping I could dredge something over the holiday. Hence, I am writing about having nothing to say.
By the end of this week we will have our German exchange student. Next week, I am off to business travel for another week. If I don’t have ideas (with pictures) in the queue, it makes it difficult for me to keep up with. That is where I am at.
Does this mean that I am quitting? Not exactly. But what it does mean is that I cannot sustain daily posting along with maintaining my familial obligations, work commitments and projects that need to get done in this short season. This is especially true when I have to travel.
I haven’t fully decided if I just need to scale back for a period of time or just try to do what I can. At the very least, I am going to finish out Lord of the Flies which will take that series into mid-August. I have finished the book and I have begun working on getting the remaining chapters published. I would like to continue doing podcasts as well. This is assuming that I have topics and show outlines developed.
I haven’t talked a lot about this but podcasts take probably four times as long to produce. I need to get better at speaking to a thinner outline, but usually this takes at least an hour. I always listen to the podcast after I record it. I write notes on Castbox and Altf4.co. Right now, an hour takes 4-6 hours for me whereas a typical blog post is 1-1.5 hours. That being said, I would like to keep doing the podcasts more than writing.
Something I have talked about before, sometimes quitting is necessary. We need to quit things that are not working so that we can retool into things that do. We all have a limited time and there is only so many things we can do in that time. Ideally this is what I would like to do with this site; make changes to this site so that it can become what I want it to be.
I love this endeavor. Why else would I do it daily for years on end for no compensation? I have proved the things that I initially set out to do. I have enough technical capability to do this and I have enough discipline to keep doing it. Those were my two objectives starting with Floricane and then moving to AltF4.co. I have failed at my marketing and monetizing portions of it which were supposed to be the next steps. So while I like doing the content and willing to do it for free, I cant afford to prioritize it over other things that need to get done at this time.
As of this moment, no promises. I can’t say what exactly what I will do other than reserve the right to do what I want and have to do. I think this is enough for today. I thank you for taking the time to read and hope this makes sense.
I want to believe in the ideals of this country. I wish it were what it promised. Despite that, enjoy your family and friends and forget about it. There is nothing like living life that puts all of the politics and disappointment aside. That’s what I am going to do.
As I promised in the podcast, this will be the last 1990s triggered theme. It took me a while to develop this because I wanted what I was feeling to be relevant other people and not just me. I think that I found a way to make my story relatable and motivational. At least I think so.
End Your Programming Routine: We certainly have grand ideas about legacy; even I do. I attempt to do things that really matter. That being said, let’s not get caught up in things outside of our circle of control. Even if the only thing that we do is transfer a life skill to our children, then we have accomplished something significant. Sniping in a chat group is not so do things that matters.
By now, I have actually finished the book. I had a lot of seat time on the plane and with such a short book that I was able to go back and re-read things so that I could understand the colloquial vocabulary. Of course, each week we will continue to peel this onion one layer at a time, but I think completing it helps give me perspective on where things are going a little better.
Ralph and Jack get close by working together to find the beast. As the get closer in proximity of tasks and they find that they share many traits. They also find that they are looking for weaknesses. They start to get competitive on their braveness and that leads to the next event.
There is one scene (I guess that it is a scene or a part) of the chapter that the boys are dancing and getting carried away. Jack suggests instead of killing a pig that they kill one of the little people. Ralph smiles and laughs but later feels the pity and regret of the participation.
This reminds me of things that I have done that I regret as well. For instance, I have admitted that I tried marijuana a couple of times in college. I wouldn’t say that it was peer pressure that made me do it. No one goaded me or chastised me, it was me saying that I am one of you. However, after it was all said and done I regretted it (at the time).
I don’t know how many people have ever gone through the police application. One of the questions was ‘have you ever tried illegal drugs?’. As well as an application, there is also an extensive background check with interviews. So while I only did it a couple of times, who knows what others would say. Does doing something illegal disqualify you? Is it better to be honest on the application, even if it is illegal? It is better to not be in this position in the first place. And that was my real regret.
If I were sitting in a chair now and listening to this story, I would say “Of course, this all makes sense. Someone who wants to pursue and education for a career in law enforcement and spends all of their time with stoners is going to get corrupted and ultimately regret it.” I would also say “after almost thirty years since this occurred, how do you feel about it now?” I am pretty sure I would answer “I guess this was god’s plan”.
Thanks for joining in my inner dialog. I have stated that I value experience over intelligence now that I have some. The nearly 50 year old me says hey it wasn’t a big deal. Every choice has consequences and it is not clear what those are at the time that you are making them. The reason I didn’t pick it up was the value position of a good time was outweighed by the risks of continued marijuana use.
Truth be told, that experience solidified my position for other drug use. I remember one time a couple of my friends took some LSD, they offered and I declined. I have never tried it nor do I ever plan on it. But they said, if you are going to hang out with us you need to be here when we start otherwise stay away. There is something about altered reality that I really don’t want to find out about. Again, if I would not have experienced regret from marijuana who knows what would happen.
By no means am I making a value judgement. These are just kids having fun. As I advanced out of college, those experiences changed my outlook. I would characterize that as it is best to not be around things like that and that may mean people that do that. At least in part, it makes my limited social circle a pretty tight ring to expand. Of course, you have to look how your relationships are based. If it is based on questionable activities, there is a significant chance that a some point, something is going to get escalated at some point.
End Your Programming Routine: There is a lot of ‘analysis’ about the book. The general direction of opinion is that this scene is an increased savagery of the boys, including the more pure Ralph. I get the sense that the pundits are looking for the story to justify their premise. But again, more on that in the future. For a normal person, getting carried away and regretting it is part of being a normal human. Only sociopaths wouldn’t feel that way.
I used to love baseball as a kid. I used to play it, watch it and listen on the radio. I was never good and so I quit before high school because I couldn’t make the ‘A’ team as a youth. I still like it, but I just don’t have the time to dedicate to it. If I could listen to it on the radio and do something else, that would be my ultimate. Maybe when I will retire, I will be one of those that catch every game while I sit on the porch.
I have been following the College World Series. As you know, I am a Oregon State Beaver fan and at least in this sport they are a perennially a good team that makes it into the playoffs most years. The Beavers were a good team, but I knew that they were not the best. They got beat in conference tournament before the finals. This is never a good thing because you want to end the season hot. Actually, in the regionals they lost to LSU (the future 2023 champion) so I don’t feel too bad.
When I was in Minneapolis last week, we had a team outing to the Minnesota Twins. I was excited because this was the first major league game I had been to since 1980. My dad spent some time in Milwaukee on a project and we went with him. So, to date my first and only MLB game was with the Brewers who instantly became my favorite team.
Incidentally, 1982 was the last year they went to the World Series. They have only made the playoffs six times and lost in the first round each time. Not a lot to get really exited about. Nevertheless, I was ready to enjoy this game.
Since I lost ultimate touch with baseball, I forgot that the Twins used to play in a dome. I was reading and in fact it actually closed in 2013, ten years ago! I thought that this stadium was new, but really it is not.
I was always kind of Twins fan. I rooted for them when they played the Cardinals and Braves in the World Series (1987,1991). I guess I have always been a American League guy since my dad was a Yankees fan and the AL Central has been a powerhouse of good baseball in recent history. Since I have been following it, Minnesota, Cleveland, Detroit and Kansas City (formerly the Brewers as well) have all made multiple World Series appearances.
The first pitch was at 6:40pm. The game went pretty quickly with a 20 second pitch clock between pitches. I didn’t notice the exact time but by 8:45pm we were headed to the tenth inning. I could hardly believe that the game went so fast. The clock I knew about but I had not seen it in action. I think it made a difference in the speed of the game.
When we got to the tenth inning, I saw something odd. A runner started on second base. I looked it up and it is called a ghost runner. This is an attempt to put a runner in scoring position and speed up the end of the game. This really isn’t much different than what college football is doing. It is not sudden death if the visiting team scores but it is when the home team does first.
As it turns out, the Twins held the tenth and scored on a sacrifice and won the game. This is the way that you always want to end a pop in experience. It was fun, quick and my team won. Despite traffic, we still got back to the hotel by 10:30pm. I would call it a good night.
Before our kids were born, we had more time but less money. We considered buying season tickets to the Salem Volcanos. This was a San Francisco Giants Single A club. For those couple of years, we caught a couple of games a season. Nevertheless, we saw some good teams. For two years, they dominated the league with the likes of Buster Posey and Tim Lincecum. Fast forward a few years and this was team that was crushing the World Series.
The league collapsed in the Covid years and I am sad about that. They ended up replacing the team with a non-affiliated, four team league (all based out of the same stadium). In comparison to the glory years, these teams look like they could be beat by higher caliber high school teams. It is not really what you would want to watch in a semi-professional environment.
End Your Programming Routine: Now that experience is over, I will resume ignoring baseball until the fall comes. I wish that I could follow it more closely but I won’t prioritize sports over important things. I feel a little sad because I think that people used to really enjoy baseball. I know that I did. I guess the silver lining is that there are a lot of games so it is not impossible to catch one.
In 1998, it was hard to imagine what 25 years in the future would look like. Did I have an inkling of all the hills and valleys in the journey? I mean, everyone has their own versions of perspective. My struggles are just molehills compared to others while my celebrations may seem pedantic. Today I am blessed to celebrate my 25 year wedding anniversary.
I picked this song as one of the descriptions of our courting and early marriage. I always thought that it was a perfect story for her, but I didn’t quite get the mirror that I was holding up. She is such a passionate person that I could feel the hurt and blessing that not following paths would lead. But you know that when looking at something in the mirror, it is always the opposite of what you are seeing in the glass.
Last year was my ‘come to Jesus moment’, literally. I don’t just believe in parts of the bible, but the whole thing. Exodus 20:12 says “Honor your father and mother.” How can I obey the Lord’s commandments but side with my wife? I am referencing the whole familial struggle of my mother-in-law dying and having to kick her out of my property last summer. That is not honor.
When it comes right down to things, I always thought that there would be me and us. We can be our own individuals for part of the day and then come together daily (or whatever the frequency). Maybe I am dense but that is how I saw my happy ever after. As long as I deferred things I wanted to do to prioritize us or made time each day, then I would be good. I still didn’t take in the one flesh part of the equation.
The other thing that I really struggle with is the situation where I think it is fine but the other person does not. That plays to my advantage in many cases. It allows me to pursue what I consider the proper course of actions in business or morality. That being said, it doesn’t come without consequences. And those consequences are strong when we are trying to act as one flesh. What happens when I believe one way as an individual but another as a married partner?
You know what? Prayer is the answer. I prayed hard about how to handle supporting my wife by severing the relationship with my mother-in-law. I wanted to do it badly, but I didn’t want to intentionally break a commandment. I think that the answer is really the first part of verse 24. “…Man will leave his father and mother…”. It is not the act of leaving to jump from one situation to the next but that they will actually transform into one by commitment to each other. God told me that I needed to support my wife.
Clearly, I still struggle with my individualism. It is not something that changes overnight. Left to my own devices, I could be very happy with me and us. But, I am not living in my bubble. To my wife’s credit, she is the one that is the fighter. I would say that she starts most of the fights, but she also finishes them.
In a short 25 years, she has battled exotic, fatal diseases, built a respected career and mostly raised two boys and severely impacted the lives of others raising kids that are not ours. Through all of it there was love. What right do I have to want to be myself? And more so than that, what right do I have to not be one with a god driven person? The answer is none.
Since I am not am clearly not a romantic, I want to say that I appreciate and value the things that I am not. While I don’t want to be a romantic, my wife does. We are Yin and Yang which makes many things extremely difficult. Even simple decisions like what to make for dinner can sometimes be painful. I have learned that each one of these encounters are a way to practice being one. I am often not successful or good at it, but I get to try again.
Marriage is hard and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It is not hard as in physically hard or even mentally hard. It is hard because to be serious and godly you have to give up the person that you thought you were in that transformation to be one. It is a huge leap of faith to leave behind what you know is right to go in a direction that you are tentative at best.
At such a young age, you can tolerate anything for a number of years, like school. I am not trying to get existential but forever is forever. When the calendar moves past ten years, the realization that those little things aren’t going to change and they start to move from annoying to resentment. It takes work to change those things. Both with your partner and yourself. That is hard. That is ending your programming.
I know that is sounds like I am mostly glass half full here. Despite that, I am trying to convey that this is a two way street and I use half of it. So while I have talked about the challenges, there were many a good time. We actually do pretty well together when it is just us on a getaway or us against the world.
End Your Programming Routine: In the song, Garth prays for one thing but got another because God knows what we need even if we do not. I got a free spirited, social and empathetic person because those are all the things I am not. I also got a loving, forgiving and patient person. Guess what… not those either. We will all have to wait until the end of our song but “I guess God knows what he is doing afterall”.
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