Thirty years ago at this time, the word had a different meaning. I was in my last weeks of high school and looking forward to new adventures. I was ready to get my life started which meant starting college after summer break. It was time to move on.
I remember running track and counting the days of school left. Everything seemed so pointless to keep marking the days until graduation. Everybody knew that the brakes were off at school. I had no illusions of placing at districts and track wasn’t going anywhere. I had nothing left to prove just wait my time.
I never really had any close bonds in my graduating class. Consequently, with my aversion to social media I never really kept up with anybody. I just realized that this is my thirty year reunion. I didn’t give ten or twenty years a thought, probably wont with this either since my position is still the same and it falls on my wife’s birthday. But it does say something, time is marching on.
Today, Senioritis might have a different meaning. I have a son that will be a senior next school year. My younger son is going to be gone all year on exchange to Taiwan. When he comes back, he will also be a senior. To be honest, I am looking forward to the their transition’s into adulthood.
It would be no secret to those that know me that my wife and I have different ideas about parenting. These high school years have been very hard on those differences. There has been conflict between us like never before and it is all because I feel strongly one way and she does the other. I won’t delve deep into the psychology or details of it but I will say that I am ready for the calm.
This isn’t about right or wrong. I can definitely see her side of things but it doesn’t mean that I am going to agree with it. To be clear, I am not saying that I want them to fly the coop and never to be seen again. No, but I am tired of cleaning up after them, yelling about the same things day after day, trying to reason with attitude and be the peacemaker between them. It is time to grow up.
I am treading a little bit dangerous here because I don’t want to go too deep into our relationship. But, I think it is safe to say that my wife wants to hold on as long as possible. I on the other hand am ready for them to experience real life lessons in the safest possible fashion. Money doesn’t grow on trees so when you break your phone or need to pay for car insurance plus rent plus food plus hundreds of dollars in ‘school clothes’ that doesn’t come easily or without sacrifice.
I am already funding two open ended airplane tickets abroad this summer, plus my wife is going on a three week trip to Europe as well. Now one of my son’s is asking to go on a one week trip to a high school trip across the country. What ever happened to pooling gas money together to get a ride to the next town? We have the money for all of that but I do remember those days of bribing rides by paying extra gas money. I think that was a rite of passage and character building. You didn’t take experiences for granted.
My new definition of Senioritis is moving into the post child rearing years. I do not really want to get old, but it beats the alternative. My kids will find their own balance. I don’t think that it will be what they currently think it is. And that is OK, it is part of the process. We will still be there to support them, we just won’t be or feel responsible for them.
I would love to say that I can see retirement on the radar. When I was graduating High School, there were people in their early 50s that were retiring. For me, that is only two to seven years. I can say this, that isn’t going to happen. It is more likely that I will work until I cant then to have a bunch of years in the retirement zone. Knowing that, it is imperative to get the most out of remaining years while health is still intact and everything seems so far away to improbable.
Recently, I find myself looking at small RVs and boats so that we can get out to fish on the weekend and get back to work during the week. That is likely going to be the flavor of my coming golden years. We are already talking about and looking at houses to move. Part of it is downsizing and part of it is to get out of here. I am feeling closed in in this town and state. My wife wants to move for different reasons but for both of us, they hinge on the kids becoming adults and making steps toward their own lives.
End Your Programming Routine: It bears repeating that I love this time of year. I love the hope that graduation represents. Many people like the winter holidays but I would argue that it is school ending is where everybody is happy and summer is just starting. Not only is there accomplishment from the year that was completed but there is a seemingly endless break before starting the next thing. It is exciting. It may seem like I was complaining but really I was expressing the factors that are pushing me to be ready for a change. I am ready to start my life (again) and I want to do it before I am too old to enjoy it.
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