Did you know that the state flower is the Oregon Grape? It puts on some small fruit about the size of a current or elderberry. I have never tasted it, I think it is more herblike or something that is probably used in very small quantities. The truth is, I have only ever seen it in planting strips and never in the wild. I didn’t realize that it actually flowers, but knowing that it fruits, it only makes sense.

You might say that my writing is themed lately. Some might say a broken record and others might say desperate or even whiny. But, life is busy. I can’t help that it feels like our schedule is a crushing weight. So, I have to find the silver linings in things. Today is one of them.

I suppose that you can say this is a different take on adventure that I wrote about last week. My wife says that I am glass half full. Which means that when I end up helping out by babysitting, my first reaction is all the things that I cant do. I know in my heart that what I am doing is the right thing to do which is why I hesitantly commit to doing it. I don’t know why I am wired this way, it just is the way that it is.

The saying “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” is so true. It means make the best of a sub-optimal situation or even do something better with it. To me, giving up a day to entertain a five year old is a precious commitment. With a barn-burning schedule during the week I need some space to just be me.

Back when my wife and I were younger and we talked about a family, we were seriously considering having four kids. God had a different plan for us and circumstances dictated that we had two. Now that my kids are nearly adult age, I am entering my post child phase. I can see why older parents are much more laid back about kids because they know that you provide a safe and solid foundation and the rest will take care of itself.

Some kids are going to embrace and thrive in the freedom while others are going to take a while longer. I don’t think any any amount of baby sign language or pre-primary music/sports lessons are going to change that. Those things prove to the parents that they are committed to do what it takes to make their child successful, but nobody else. I do think that when parents are confident, so are the children but I am already way off track from where I want to go today.

When I commit to babysitting, I try to think outside the box. What have I been wanting to do but haven’t taken the time to do? On any given normal day I will keep myself busy all day long with all the tasks and projects that I want to do. I won’t necessarily go to the local bird refuge and walk the half mile gravel path or plan a picnic at a close by park. I won’t take the evening to walk the dog to the nearby dog park or pick dandelions out of a yard as we walk by. I won’t drive home the slow way using the ferry to cross the river.

This is the reason why I have never seen the Oregon Grape flower, because I have never stopped to look for them. I didn’t realize that I should. As much as I hate to admit this, God is giving me the message to try harder and life is more than a check-list of to dos. It sounds intuitive, right? But, this is my programming that I have to change.

Before you get the complete wrong idea, not every babysitting day is a whiz-bang trip. Sometimes, kids need to learn that adults need to do stuff that kids won’t enjoy. Sometimes kids need to participate in things that they won’t like. But, the whole thing is a balance. It shouldn’t be always one or the other and it certainly should be some of both.

During the summer of the time I was between jobs, I used to do something called adventure Thursdays. That was the day of the week that my wife worked from home so it got us out of the house. We drove around to parks in the county and waded in local creeks, explored roads, bought chocolates made by monks and just looked beyond the boundaries of our house. We stopped at signs and read them and took turns just to see where they went. It was nothing fancy, just something I wanted to do.

The whole eighteen months of me not working is starting to fade into memory. It is hard to think that I spent over a year with the freedom to take in life. I was a better and happier person while I was doing it and for doing it. I think today I would have to force my kids to come with me, not to do it by choice. I look back that those experiences were special. Not because they were grandiose but because the relationship of time and space is something we will never have again.

End Your Programming Routine: I don’t fancy myself as sentimental. That is not what this is about today. But, I talk plenty about doing things; my life is driven to doing things. Often, I forget that doing things is not the whole picture of living, just one aspect of it. I took this picture because I was awed by something I had never seen. Not just never seen but right in front of me never seen because my eyes weren’t open to something greater.