Yesterday, an all time hottest temperature record was set at 113 degrees. That was after a previously recorded highest temperature recorded in June of 105. Needless to say it is hot for a place were I can remember a summer that didn’t get into the 90’s until mid-August. Even this morning it was 85 degrees at 4:30 AM.

When I was growing up, no one I knew of had any form of cooling in their houses, not even window air conditioners. The advent of the heat pump started showing up in the mid-eighties but it was still very uncommon. When it got into the upper nineties we were hot. We tried to slip and slide, eat popsicles and stay in the shade. Night was a sweatbox in the bedroom that I would estimate was at least twenty degrees above ambient.

Saturday, we had the state trap tournament and it was hot. We were outside all day, but at least when you were in the shade, it seemed bearable. Yesterday felt like nothing I had ever seen before (here). It was like an inferno being outside. Our struggling heat pump did manage to keep the main floor below 80 degrees. We only have central heat on the main floor. As long as you stayed inside, it wasn’t too bad.

I don’t want to just talk about the weather today. When I looked back to last year, I was roofing this time last year. Roofing is nearly always a hot activity at least every time I have done it. The real reason that I am writing this is today is my 23rd wedding anniversary.

It felt like the hottest day of the year even though I looked it up this morning and it wasn’t. It was eighty-five degrees. But, it had been raining all week and we were having an outdoor wedding so it was more humid than normal. Add to that, more layers of a black tuxedo and black rubber shoes and sweat was pouring out of me before the ceremony started. I remember that my feet were actually burning inside those crappy rental shoes. By the time we left on a limo ride to the hotel, we were both sapped and we needed to be at the airport by 6 AM the next day. I think that we were asleep by 9 PM.

When we first met nearly thirty years ago, my wife had a yin/yang flag hanging up in her dorm room. I don’t have any idea where that ended up but it should have been a sign for us because it really describes our relationship. Her family is big and loud, mine is small and quiet. She is passionate and wears emotion on her sleeve, I am stoic and guarded. It makes it really difficult at times because we would both prefer our partners to be more like ourselves.

That is what makes it work because we need what each other brings to the relationship. She needs my temperance and I need her free wheeling. Over the years, we have learned how to push each other’s buttons which have led to some pretty strong disagreements because we are so entrenched in our camp of belief or yin and yang if you will. For instance, I was essentially threatened that if I didn’t quit my job over two years ago then we should consider other relationships. I doubt that I would have ever been so bold as to quit without a parachute. But I can see her side as that I was miserable to be around. I was scare to do it but I was more scare not to.

Not having many comparisons to personally draw from, I would speculate that this yin/yang relationship is more difficult than couples who are more similar. I am sometimes envious of friends where they work on projects together or share the same interests. I think, wouldn’t it be nice if we both wanted to do the same things? It is the reason that I signed up to play softball this summer so that my wife and I could do something together.

I recognize that I have my flaws and contribute quite equally to the difficulty of our relationship. It is definitely not all bad and we don’t live in constant conflict. When we get time alone, we can enjoy time together. We had many years without children and lots of experiences together. We have travelled the world, lived in different places and made many memories. It takes work. I credit my wife for taking the rudder on keeping us on course because I avoid conflict if possible. As much as I don’t like it I recognize that it is necessary to iron out our differences.

End Your Programming Routine: So I ask again, what is hotter, the temperature, our conflict over beliefs, our reconciliation when we get to the root or something else? Every year we take time to do something special, this year we are staying at a new hotel in town. We have the best room in the place with a huge view (and serious air conditioning). It is still forecast to be 109 outside and maybe hotter inside. Hopefully we can make it last another 23 years.