Believe or not, my life has changed significantly this week from last week. In fact, it is so significant and so new, I haven’t really internalized it. No, I am not talking about moving to the beach again. That is certainly adds a dimension but that has not materially happened yet. I am talking about being an honest to goodness empty nester.

It is well known that we sent my youngest son off to college in September. My oldest son remained at home. In October, when we started talking about moving, I posed the situation to my older son. Stay in the area or move with use. Either way, it was more than likely that things were going to change drastically.

He has a full time job and is attending community college. We are moving about an hour to the west and while not ideal, we know people that commute for work purposes from the coast to the capitol city. Staying with us was possible but it would be much better to find some place closer to school and work. Still the option was his.

My son developed a plan to move in with our niece who was moving from the ADU to somewhere locally. Her decision was driven by work as well as having a child in grade school. That seemed like a good fit for both of them. But, the funny thing is that I felt like this was a step that was potentially too far, too fast for my son.

They got a ‘move-in special’. Get all the paperwork completed before the first of December and get two months free rent. My niece took until mid-December to get everything moved but my son kept coming home every night. It fact, it wasn’t until the weekend after Christmas that he finally got everything moved. That came after a lot of very strong prodding from Mom to finish what was started.

I don’t think he liked it but to his credit, he moved most of it without me having to help. That is to say that there was a whole bunch of stuff still left in the garage that was going with his car which is at another location then his apartment. But again, he took initiative the next weekend and moved half of that stuff. I speculate that once he mentally accepted the fact that he was moving, he finally got in gear.

Right now, we are only ten minutes apart. I have already gone over to do networking work because it is a skill I have that he does not. I would say that we have seen him half of the nights since he moved for dinner, but I don’t plan on it. If we have stuff to share, no problem. We have had several invites specifically for dinner. Remember that this was still the holiday period.

For the last four weeks, my younger son has been home for Christmas break. He took a load of his stuff to college and I already packed most of his room. But the fact that he was home for Thanksgiving which was only two weeks between Christmas break made it seem like things were pretty normal. Even while my older son was moving out, I still had loads of dishes each day because he hasn’t quite got the idea of clean-up after use.

I haven’t completely counted my chickens yet. I mean, he is in college with strong talk of a Spring Break trip and internship over the summer. However, those have yet to finalize. For all I know, this is his last long term stint at home but I haven’t quite conceded yet. We just have to assume that nothing is set in stone until it is but that he might have a few more trips home in the next couple of years. Due to his independent streak, I have my doubts that there will be many more extended trips home.

We dropped him off at the airport in the early morning of Sunday, January 4. When we got home the house was quiet and I mean really quiet. No more smashing down the stairs or un-expected blender noises at midnight. I went upstairs and boxed up his remining items as it is a better bet that we will move than it is he is coming home in the near future.

It hit me like a linebacker, this is it. This is the moment that this property went from a high of seven last spring to two. No longer is there two people living in the backyard apartment that I have to watch and make sure the driveway is clear. I don’t have to plan for a main meal for four with a vegetarian variation or will anyone even eat at home. I know that when I lock the door for the night, I don’t have to check it three or four times a night before I go to bed. I don’t have to sleep with one eye open that somebody is leaving at two in the morning or wonder if should go to sleep at my normal bedtime. After years of gradual change, it is so abrupt. It is jarring, almost disturbing.

Once I finished his room, I went down to the basement again. I started looking at the stacks of empty, quart canning jars. I don’t need those things. Between my wife and I, pints are the most appropriate size. I still have 15 quarts of applesauce that I made from my tree, am I really going to eat all of that? Not without deliberate action.

My wife went to Costco last Saturday with my older son so he could get his first shopping trip in. We haven’t gotten out of there without a $600 tab since I was not working and doing all the cooking and shopping. I don’t know the financial bill but two packages of paper products, two flats of drinks and one miscellaneous box was shocking. I am used to spending hours unloading, rotating and facing the pantry items once she got home.

End Your Programming Routine: If you would have asked me in September if I was happy for some space from my kids, I would have said absolutely accepting natural progression. There was a lot of attitude and entitlement that I shipped off as well. But, I saw a lot of growth at the end of December from both of my boys. It was so much more pleasant than it has been in recent years. They actually made a point to spend family time rather than arguing about it. For a moment, it almost makes me nostalgic to go back to the way things were last week. For now, I am going to try and figure out what new normal is.