Author: bhayes952

May 11, 2023 – Think Your Government Doesn’t Make Mistakes… Think Again

May 11, 2023 /

Approximately two years ago, we received a letter that our kids were entitled to assistance (food stamps). I actually threw the letter away because I thought the whole premise was ridiculous. Supposedly, it was to mitigate access to food during the pandemic school year.

The first problem with the situation was that my kids should be eligible for assistance. The second part was that all of the lockdowns and the entire school year at home was a year past. So, tell me why I wouldn’t think that was anything other than ridiculous. Sure enough the card arrived in the mail two weeks later and it had about $1400 on it. You can read about it here.

Follow-up from that. We spent the money. We used it to buy food when we went on our family Thanksgiving trip to Houston. At first, I didn’t want to accept something that I didn’t feel was necessary. Once I got into my headspace that I also paid $10,000 in additional taxes to the state that year plus getting audited and paying a lawyer, I put those feelings aside. Mistake or not, I have reconciled that I pay a lot more than I take. In fact, I take almost nothing from the system.

Low and behold, we got another Electronic Benefits Card a week ago. This time it was about $400 in value. I suppose that I am not opposed to taking advantage of situation, but it does start to get disheartening that the state really has no discretion on qualification of benefits. This is what I would characterize as government waste; indiscriminate doling out of money.

If you take those lines, then you will probably understand that this was actually a mistake. My wife sent me a link to a story that said that there were a number of people that mistakenly received assistance. Once the state realized it, they took all the money back rendering some cards, like my son’s to be useless.

Hooray for government, right? You guessed it. Wrong. Aren’t there checks and balances in this process? Do they not have subject matter experts for policy and ample resources (people) to execute something properly? I have to believe that this process took a significant amount of time and effort. Finding someone to print the materials and mail them out only to find out that they made a mistake after the fact has to be something majorly wrong in the process.

I know how these things probably went. Some sort of database report was executed and that is what translated to the wrong results. What failed was the validation of the data and the quality check of the process. Mistakes happen and the government is not immune to them either.

Where I really wanted to go is that the government is always pretty quick to swing a fist. Meaning, the stance is always they are right. Ever try to re-title a car without a complete bill of sale trail? Trust me, your life is living hell trying to get previous sellers tracked down to rebuild a paper trail that is absolutely irrelevant. Trust me, only citizens have to go through the run around. Dealers don’t have to do that.

But more so than that, the government will reluctantly admit mistakes when there is no other options, particularly financial ones or high profile losses in court. Sometimes that doesn’t stop them either. For instance, I have heard no apologies for ruining peoples lives for only permitting essential jobs during Covid. I have heard justification for doing what they did, but no apologies.

The main point with this whole post is not to rail on government. I do enjoy doing so, but that you should use critical thinking when getting notifications about something they think is wrong. Just because the IRS sends you a notice doesn’t mean that they are right. You have to weigh the cost of the fight into the equation. When dealing with the government, there are no moral victories either so it simplifies the variables in the decision making.

Probably every other year I get a notice from the IRS or the Oregon Department of Revenue. After consultation with our attorney, often the resolution is to pay the difference. At $200/hour it doesn’t make a lot of sense to fight a $400 bill. But, I can also tell you that we have gotten letters saying that we haven’t paid for the year and a $10,000 bill is a different story when we have.

Along those lines, it really pisses me off that I have to have an attorney and pay more money to prove that I have already done the right thing. Whereas I know people that haven’t bothered to file taxes for years and they got no hassle whatsoever. This is not to say that the government was going to get anything out of if but that they will go after the people that they will. Dropping it.

End Your Programming Routine: Don’t be a zombie. Don’t fold because you feel you have no choice. Do analyze the situation and make moves that make sense. Do seize the opportunity when there is one. This is the definition of being an individual.

May 10, 2023 – Stop and Smell the Oregon Grape?

May 10, 2023 /

Did you know that the state flower is the Oregon Grape? It puts on some small fruit about the size of a current or elderberry. I have never tasted it, I think it is more herblike or something that is probably used in very small quantities. The truth is, I have only ever seen it in planting strips and never in the wild. I didn’t realize that it actually flowers, but knowing that it fruits, it only makes sense.

You might say that my writing is themed lately. Some might say a broken record and others might say desperate or even whiny. But, life is busy. I can’t help that it feels like our schedule is a crushing weight. So, I have to find the silver linings in things. Today is one of them.

I suppose that you can say this is a different take on adventure that I wrote about last week. My wife says that I am glass half full. Which means that when I end up helping out by babysitting, my first reaction is all the things that I cant do. I know in my heart that what I am doing is the right thing to do which is why I hesitantly commit to doing it. I don’t know why I am wired this way, it just is the way that it is.

The saying “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” is so true. It means make the best of a sub-optimal situation or even do something better with it. To me, giving up a day to entertain a five year old is a precious commitment. With a barn-burning schedule during the week I need some space to just be me.

Back when my wife and I were younger and we talked about a family, we were seriously considering having four kids. God had a different plan for us and circumstances dictated that we had two. Now that my kids are nearly adult age, I am entering my post child phase. I can see why older parents are much more laid back about kids because they know that you provide a safe and solid foundation and the rest will take care of itself.

Some kids are going to embrace and thrive in the freedom while others are going to take a while longer. I don’t think any any amount of baby sign language or pre-primary music/sports lessons are going to change that. Those things prove to the parents that they are committed to do what it takes to make their child successful, but nobody else. I do think that when parents are confident, so are the children but I am already way off track from where I want to go today.

When I commit to babysitting, I try to think outside the box. What have I been wanting to do but haven’t taken the time to do? On any given normal day I will keep myself busy all day long with all the tasks and projects that I want to do. I won’t necessarily go to the local bird refuge and walk the half mile gravel path or plan a picnic at a close by park. I won’t take the evening to walk the dog to the nearby dog park or pick dandelions out of a yard as we walk by. I won’t drive home the slow way using the ferry to cross the river.

This is the reason why I have never seen the Oregon Grape flower, because I have never stopped to look for them. I didn’t realize that I should. As much as I hate to admit this, God is giving me the message to try harder and life is more than a check-list of to dos. It sounds intuitive, right? But, this is my programming that I have to change.

Before you get the complete wrong idea, not every babysitting day is a whiz-bang trip. Sometimes, kids need to learn that adults need to do stuff that kids won’t enjoy. Sometimes kids need to participate in things that they won’t like. But, the whole thing is a balance. It shouldn’t be always one or the other and it certainly should be some of both.

During the summer of the time I was between jobs, I used to do something called adventure Thursdays. That was the day of the week that my wife worked from home so it got us out of the house. We drove around to parks in the county and waded in local creeks, explored roads, bought chocolates made by monks and just looked beyond the boundaries of our house. We stopped at signs and read them and took turns just to see where they went. It was nothing fancy, just something I wanted to do.

The whole eighteen months of me not working is starting to fade into memory. It is hard to think that I spent over a year with the freedom to take in life. I was a better and happier person while I was doing it and for doing it. I think today I would have to force my kids to come with me, not to do it by choice. I look back that those experiences were special. Not because they were grandiose but because the relationship of time and space is something we will never have again.

End Your Programming Routine: I don’t fancy myself as sentimental. That is not what this is about today. But, I talk plenty about doing things; my life is driven to doing things. Often, I forget that doing things is not the whole picture of living, just one aspect of it. I took this picture because I was awed by something I had never seen. Not just never seen but right in front of me never seen because my eyes weren’t open to something greater.

May 9, 2023 – (Sunday) We Have a Free Day, Let’s Go to Costco… No

May 9, 2023 /

I am sure that I violated some kind of title rules with punctuation and choppiness. But this is what I want to say today. It has been a long time since I have talked about productivity and planning. Today I wanted to share my philosophy to prove that I have my priorities all jumbled up.

At this point in our lives, we are slaves to the schedule. In between our own commitments and our kids (let’s not forget Mother’s Day is coming up). It is really hard to get a down day in. I tend to look at things in the light of what can I do on a weeknight versus what needs to wait for a weekend.

We usually do a monthly shop at Costco for groceries. Since we are planning a Mother’s Day dinner, we need to get some stuff for that as well. Looking at what was happening this weekend, we say Sunday afternoon was open. My wife said, we need to go to Costco. I said no.

First of all, we don’t need to go to Costco. We have several grocery stores in town and we are not really out of anything given our well stocked freezers and pantry. It is not exactly convenient being thirty minutes away. There is also the commitment of putting things away. Because once you start, you are committed until at least the refrigerated and frozen items are put away.

Another reason I don’t want to go on the weekend is that it is the very worst time to be at Costco. Parking is a mess, the stores are full. But, there is a third and more overriding reason to not do this. That is, this is a task that can be done during the week. Whereas, there are many things that I really cannot do on a weekday.

Did I use my time wisely? Maybe, maybe not. I ended up coming home late from trap, I transferred my beer from the primary to the secondary, I changed the oil in the pickup, we played tennis as a family and I spent some time with my wife watching a movie. I would argue that any one of those tasks could have been done on a weeknight. But what doesn’t happen is unstructured time in large blocks.

I need some time that I can just do what I want. It makes me feel like I have some control in my life. Looking at the week ahead, I have the following schedule Monday – YMCA meet and greet, Tuesday – Incoming Freshman activity fair (for trap), Wednesday-Friday – Tennis Districts, Saturday – Trap and Mother’s day dinner Sunday – Mother’s Day. The truth is, I really don’t have an open day this week. That being said, I am sure that there is going to be some time in the evening Wednesdy through Friday. I just don’t have the precise schedule until we get there.

My schedule has not been much different this entire spring. Between sports and my kids getting ready for exchange, it seems like everyday is penciled in something. I will also offer an alternative way of looking at things. Don’t wait for the weekend to do things, do what you can during the week. It is not about the day of the week but the efficiency of the job with the blocks of time available.

End Your Programming Routine: Summer is coming and this marathon will change. Notice I didn’t say end. When you are a distance runner, when you see the finish line you run as fast as you can. This is called the push. We are in the push phase with the family. In a little over a year, I will have one in school. When the choice is either family tennis or going to Costco, the choice should be pretty clear. Choose the right time for the right task.

May 8, 2023 – Ethics and Laws

May 8, 2023 /

Just like when I read Atlas Shrugged and came upon the philosophical concept that ‘A is A’ this connection hit me in the face when I was writing about Animal Farm. I had never made the association that laws are moral when they fit our ethics. I have heard and even said, that law is immoral but I didn’t really get it.

But even more so than that, I finally figured out why all these things bother me. Despite the fact that I have little control over it, many of these laws violate my ethics. Don’t tell me what to do, dont prohibit by law items that have no victims, honor our tradition and culture. I don’t know, I have never sat down and figured them out. Maybe I should do that?

End Your Programming Routine: At the end of my podcast I holistically came to the phrase, “do things that matter”. This is what I try to do with all of the do-it-yourself projects and demonstrations that I do. But, I don’t emphasize that aspect of what I am trying to do enough (another epiphany). I try to offer ways to deal with programming, but I didn’t recognize that there is a second part to my tagline that I have left on the vine for far too long.

May 5, 2023 – Animal Farm, Chapter 10

May 5, 2023 /

We made it. Both Friday and to the end of the book. Next week, I will have a wrap on the whole book, but this week I will stick to just the last chapter. Now that we have fastidiously evaluated each chapter, was the pace too slow? Maybe. I am ready to move on, but I have appreciated the relief as the rest of my life has gone crazy.

This is that time lapse part of the story. Years go by and life before is forgotten. The spirit of the revolution had dimmed and life is what it is. I referenced the Earnest Hemmingway quote in my podcast earlier in the week “gradually, then suddenly”. This book is the perfect illustration of that. Each chapter there were small changes then you look back and nothing is what it was.

Of course, that phrase wouldn’t have any impact without going through the rest of it. That is the clarity of perspective. Of the original rules, I think nearly every single one of them was modified. And dare I say that not for the better. But lets save the overall analysis for next week.

As the sad life moves on, the story closes with the pigs interacting with humans. It appears that pigs and people have become peers. There is no more animosity between the two species. The last sentence ends with pig looks like man, man looks like pig, neither distinguishable (paraphrased).

There is a theory that if you continue to do things a certain way, you start to assume the principles and traits of that way. I suppose the simple way of thinking about this is when you are a teenager and start hanging out with the a goth crowd. You may not make the whole transition of dress and makeup but it is pretty likely that you are going to adopt at least some of the identifiers, even as simple as dressing in all black.

Before I get out of my league with goth association, what I am saying is your mother’s sentiment of your friends are a reflection of you. Teenagers (read naïve) fight so hard to present the neutral point that they have not changed or are not influenced by association and that is just not true. The difference between a teenager and myself is that I can see and recognize the effect. I choose to continue association rather than it happening without my cognizance.

I have written about my passive personality. There aren’t a lot of things that get me real juiced up. When it is hunting/gardening/fishing/camping season, I always think that I am going to do this and that next year and get more into it. The more distance that is put between the season, the less motivated I get and then I start over the next year. To me, that isn’t real passion that is an interest. You could call it semantics, but to me passion is something that is done hell or high water.

I do find joy and interest when others are passionate about what they do or are talking about. For instance, I listen to some podcasts about permaculture. It is not my particular jam but because the host is passionate about it, I find myself adopting and becoming interested in it. It could be categorized that I have been persuaded to look at things from a different perspective.

Permaculture is the combination of two words Permanent and Culture. There is a heavy component of self sufficiency in growing your own food and self reliance in living outside of normal systems. That is how we get to the culture part of it. And that’s the part of it attracts a lot of the touchy-feely, granola crowd. In years past, I would have scoffed at that and wouldn’t be found ten miles away. But, I have to come to the understanding that we both want the same things, just with a different approach to how to get there. As a result, I have come to empathize with that perspective to no small degree.

To quickly summarize, a group of individuals agree to live together with an established set of permaculture ethics.

  1. Care for the Earth
  2. Care for the People
  3. Fair Share (Return of Surplus)

Number three is the most controversial and has two interpretations. The interpretation that attracts the hippie crowd is a strong socialist leaning: I should get my fair share from you. From my outside observation, this kind of thinking eventually leads to the breakdown of ethic number two. I think the more enlightened crowd interpret fair share as I take as much as I need and return the rest to the earth or the people, whatever is more appropriate.

Permaculture also has rules. I am not going to go into them at this point. What I am trying to say that if a homeowners association had ethics there would be no difference between living that way and living in a camp in the woods. Too many people sign up for rules that they don’t agree with and then get into battles with their neighbors.

Animal farm also had rules, but they didn’t have ethics. Rules without ethics become arbitrary and subject the whim of the rulers. Rules get changed because they don’t adhere or support a principle, they simple augment the power of an organization. They are used for punitive effect or justification. The pigs and humans began to assume traits of each other because of their proximity and habits. The deeper question is why in the first place? I think that I will explore that next week

End Your Programming Routine: I was struggling to get something going this morning and then all of the sudden permaculture came into the picture. I sense a podcast in here now that I see the connection between ethics and rules. The programming here is don’t let your associations define you. It is natural to want to look and act the part when associating, but we need to have our own ethics sorted out before we start adhering to the rules.

May 4, 2023 – Adventure Has to Have a Risk Component

May 4, 2023 /

I have alluded to this recently that I have been babysitting occasionally. Again, I am not going to get into the whys. What is important is that what does a nearly fifty year old man do to entertain a five year old girl? I certainly don’t want to play with dolls for an extended period of time nor do I want either of us sitting in front of the TV all day. My answer is go on an adventure.

Now, would it be an adventure if the result was guaranteed? The answer has to be no. We had nice weather and my mind has wandered to get out fishing somewhere. I know enough that hunkering down all day with a five year old is not going to work. My plan was to find this lake I had never been to, fish for thirty minutes (or more if possible) and then head back home. It sounds like Win-Win to me.

I have listened to Meateater and talking about getting kids out into the outdoors. Clearly you want to have a good experience to build on. That means that if you only spend thirty minutes out fishing, then it is an investment in the future. You want to slowly build kids into the activity, not cause them to dread it. This is why I picked a destination that I had never been to. The adventure was really finding it and testing it out, not hauling out a good catch.

Friday, we had a temperature in the upper eighties. Saturday, the day of my trip we were expecting high seventies. Mind you, Monday of that week the high temperature was 47 degrees. So, we just barely left winter this weekend. I knew the risk of encountering snow was high if the elevation got high enough. But again, this was an adventure.

As we started climbing in elevation, I started noticing that the ferns were all matted down. This was a sign that they had been compressed with weight. So, I started to get the sense that we were going to find snow. Within another minute, I started to see snow on the side of the road. Another minute and then there were ruts in the road. Finally, I saw that the tracks that I was following stopped and so did I.

I was hoping that this was just a shady spot, so I hiked up around the bend to see what it looked like. It was snow as far as I could see and the road was still climbing. I learned my lesson years ago that a vehicle can get stuck and with it, comes a long walk. A five year old, a dog and no cell service was a risk too high for me to chance. I made the call to turn around. There was another route to take, but it was another hour around. So, I thought that I would try it.

It turned out that about ten miles up the second route there was too much snow as well. So, we had to bag it for the day. I headed back toward home. This wasn’t quite the trip that I had hoped for, but I packed snacks and turned on the DVD player in the car and so it allowed for about a four hour car ride to seem bearable for all of us.

I say that adventure has to have risks because otherwise it is an outing. Now, probably to a five year old adventure/outing are semantics. I didn’t even realize the context until I was explaining that we were heading back home. I didn’t mean to have a philosophical conversation in my head but that is how it turned out.

The day wasn’t a total bust. I learned that some new roads existed and renewed my desire to go back to the lake and get my pole in the water. I built a campfire when we got home and we made smores and popcorn over the fire. I survived another full day watching a child and I think that she had fun.

End Your Programming Routine: I have tried to find this lake twice. Once, I was blocked by a gate and now this time I was stopped by snow. I am going to get there. I enjoyed my day regardless of the outcome. Isn’t that the most important thing? The purpose was to entertain, get out of the house, enjoy some warm spring weather and be home safely. It just leaves next time to find the lake.

May 3, 2023 – Unclog Your Sink Like a Pro

May 3, 2023 /

Another day in the life… Since I barely go upstairs anymore, I don’t happen to peak in on this bathroom much. This is my kid’s primary bathroom so I don’t know how long the drain has been slow. If I were to hazard a guess, I would say that it has been a while. My wife told me it wasn’t working and wanted it fixed, so here it goes.

End Your Programming: It’s hard for me to believe that people don’t know how to do things around the house anymore. But then again, some people probably find it strange that I struggle with the emotional side of things. Yes, plumbing can be an unsavory past-time but clearing the drain yourself not only saves money but it could be weeks before you get a scheduled appointment. You can do it.

May 2, 2023 – Need For Speed

May 2, 2023 /

I purchased this video on our recent vacation of me driving a Porsche 991 GT3RS. It was an awesome drive. The whole experience was expensive, but I paid the extra $70 for the video because everything was happening so fast. It is a new car, a new track and driving like you don’t normally do. If you watch it, you will see all of the instructions coming at you.

Even though my work is 90% serious, sometimes you have to have fun. I talked about my liner notes in the podcast that I couldn’t ever test drive a Porsche without putting in an offer to buy it. How do I know that I would like the car? I am not the kind of guy to buy a car just to see if I like it.

I have always been a race fan. I have gone to Indy, NASCAR and F1 races. I never really had a desire to drive a performance car until I started playing Need For Speed on the X-box. I won almost every achievement on the Shift version and then I suddenly came to an epiphany. This pastime has no real world value and it took a ton of time. At that moment, I pretty much quit playing video games. That was about the time I bought the Mustang.

I did enjoy driving the Mustang, but I never really felt that I got to enjoy the full potential. I wanted to drive it on a track but never got the opportunity. So this was the culmination of several dreams.

End Your Programming Routine: You can’t live your life in a video game. It is enjoyable, no doubt but all that time could be spend doing much more productive things. I paid for two extra laps so all told, it cost about $500 for those ten minutes of driving.

May 1, 2023 – The Tale of Two Countries

May 1, 2023 /

I hit all the hot buttons today like guns, abortion and drugs. I am attempting to make a contrast to different states going in different directions. For those of us ‘behind enemy lines’ it is hard to see any sort of light at the end of the tunnel. But, be awake we haven’t seen the fall yet… but it is coming. Rome took hundreds of years beginning with Nero in the year 54 and ending with the submission of the Roman emperor in 476 .

End Your Programming Routine: The reason Rome makes such a good parellel to the United States is because of the similarities of behavior. The largest global power falls because of narcissm. It’s no wonder the Afghanistan rejected our perverted form of freedom. Even the Taliban can recognize a bad apple.

April 28, 2023 – Animal Farm, Chapter 9

April 28, 2023 /

We are getting close to the end of the book. There is one more chapter to go. I will tell you a secret, not only have I read this book before but I also finished this weeks ago. The book is so short that you can probably read it in a long evening. But that is OK, I am taking it slow to dissect and enjoy it. I have to clear the cobwebs a bit. Now that I have scanned through the chapter again, I am ready. So, let’s go.

Boxer worked himself to death. After the windmill was blown up and they had to start over, it was Boxer that did the heavy work. In the process he got old, injured and used up. Boxer’s last appearance in the book had him taken away to the glue factory while the pigs were saying he was going to the hospital.

I have been Boxer in my life. I have ignored problems thinking that I can solve them by working harder. This was a huge lesson in my life. In some ways, this is the inspiration for this AltF4.co endeavor. It came across in a different time and a different manor, but I now know what it means.

I was in my twenties and I was running the laboratory. Every plant task that failed to work properly, I would assume as my own. Pretty soon, I was running formulating, wastewater, quality, IT and automation. I had a mentor and he told me as I was leaving that the company would always let me take more work. It was up to me to stop it.

I think more than I was trying to do it all, I was not getting anywhere other than convincing myself that I could do it better. What I was ignoring was the system of accountability for the people not doing a proper job and the consequences for not doing so. I was so vested in the outcome that I couldn’t see my effort was self-harmful as as much as helpful. I didn’t leave as a result of that (story for another day), but I left wiser as a result.

I won’t say that I completely got this lesson, it probably took another 15 years but now I have it. If you work for someone else, you do not own the output. It doesn’t matter if there is profit sharing or employee ownership, you still do not own the output. I think of it this way, any form of revenue sharing is actually a trap to provide the illusion of effort equals results.

The ones that set the rules are limiting the distribution pool. Then there are others that do not deserve to be rewarded. Decisions are made with no input and rules are made to prevent risk or innovation. For all of these reasons, I have realized that for me to be happy with my career and output, I need to be in control of it. Ultimately, this is what drove me to leave my job and it is a strong driving factor in Altf4.co.

Those concepts are the reason that socialism will ultimately have it’s detractors. I didn’t work like a madman because I wanted to get rewarded. I did it because I believed it needed to be done. That being said, when it comes to compensation, I saw that I did all this and this is all there is. Oh and to top it off, things aren’t really better.

Getting back to the book, this chapter is the perfect illustration of the iron law of bureaucracy. There are those committed to the mission (Boxer) and those committed to the organization (pigs). I think that it goes without saying that whichever side you pick, you are all in. How would it look if your star performer actually worked himself to death. That was a situation that had to be dealt with for PR purposes.

It seems completely logical that the pigs would lie about Boxer’s disposition to make everything seem normal. After all, a revolution would be pretty dangerous to the organization. That is really the moral of the story. You can trust the when a choice between the organization and the constituents has to be made, those that are on the other side of the iron law are going to make the choice for the organization.

End Your Programming Routine: Of course, charity is a tenant of Christianity. That being said, charity is not collectivism. And speaking of morality, thou shall not steal. If you are not doing your fair share, then that is stealing which is a sin. Collectivism actually fosters inequality. Reading this is a warning, if you work yourself to death then you have to know that it is your choice, not because there is personal profit.