It is funny how the mind works. I get a spark of an idea which then is crafted and twisted into some sort of pseudo philosophical persuasion. Things can’t really be as they seem, or can they? Today I am talking about getting your mind right about perspective of life and career.
Author: bhayes952
May 24, 2024 – The Divine Comedy, Purgatory, Canto XXVIII – XXXIII
Now that Dante has moved through the seven levels of purgatory, he has emerged in what has been called ‘Earthly Paradise’. This appears to be the entry into heaven. Dante and Statius must cross over the river Lethe to enter. This is the river that they have been following throughout the entire journey in various forms. It seems apparently like a symbolic baptism in the final crossing over.
I am not a fan of ‘mind f–k’ books or movies but that is what the section seems like seems like. These would be works like Alice in Wonderland, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Rocky Horror Picture Show. I am not immune to the wonder of divine acts but I really like things that make sense. At least I can sort of put my mind into the tortures and creatures of hell. The ‘procession’ that appears as they enter is almost too much.
Apparently, as new souls come into Earthly Paradise this procession comes out to meet them. It starts with a Gryphon pulling a cart. That Gryphon is supposed to represent Christ. There is also a singing candelabra followed by 24 elders, 17 from the old testament and seven from the new testament. There are also animals, young women dancing and old men.
Even that I can sort of buy into, but then it get’s weirder. An eagle attacks spraying feathers all over followed by a dragon coming out of the ground destroying the wagon. The parts turn into a giant being ridden by a whore. She gets whipped every time she looks at Dante by the giant. What?! It is here that Dante finally sees Beatrice for the first time in ten years. We are going to have to keep reading because as fast as she appears, she also disappears.
Some analysts say that this is beyond comprehension because humanity can not fully grasp God. But, I say this is all fiction and it was written by a man. Much has been foreshadowed as Virgil is no longer present. At least this logic makes sense. Virgil’s soul is not permitted in heaven but since his character is human reason, it is absent.
Before all of that chaos happened, the Gryphon tied the cart to a dead tree. The tree supposedly is from the original tree of Adam and Eve fame. This tree all of the sudden came to life and both flowered and fruited. This is what leads to the the analogy between the Gryphon and Christ. It also doesn’t hurt that he is half lion and half eagle. That is neither of either but some of both, as is Christ. I feel like Dante is about to inherit the chocolate factory if he minds his P’s and Q’s.
I don’t blame Date for passing out before crossing the river. This really blew my mind too but imagine this in a world before internet and a worldly knowledge? Literally insane. We are at the point of what being pious gets to. Let’s check it out in Dante’s Paradiso.
End Your Programming Routine: You get a week off from reading next week as I will do a wrap up of Purgatory. I don’t honestly know how to reconcile all of this. Dante is supposed to note what is happening and take it back when he returns to the real world. I can only speculate for Dante to become the next profit. I am not sure I totally buy that he is the anointed one but I guess it could happen to anybody. At the very least, Dante is sparking theological and philosophical introspection.
May 23, 2024 – Fifty for 50
I might regret mentioning this today. I hope that it is part of my accountability mechanism. But, I have always wanted to do a multi-day hike on the Pacific Crest Trail. I hadn’t made rank to participate on the one hike that we did when I was in Boy Scouts. I always imagined that I would be this rampant outdoorsman when I grew up. That hasn’t quite proven to be true.
When I was 39, my wife cajoled me into running a half marathon. Her idea was that we should be more fit at 40 than we were at thirty. I procrastinated as much as I could but I ended up running a half marathon at 41. I was definitely in pretty good shape at that time.
Before all of this cancer business, my wife said that she would like to run another marathon at fifty. This time I said no. But it did get me thinking that I am really running out of time to do a serious hike. I am calling this fifty at fifty because I am planning on going at least fifty miles on the PCT next year.
I have no real idea at this point what the plan is going to be. I am thinking that I am going to do the southern oregon portion for several reasons. The first being that there are no permits required to hike it. The second is that Ashland is a logical terminus for the hike. My wife loves Ashland (were we met and went to college) so I already have a shuttle driver. Doing a week duration, hike I should be able to carry what I need without resupplying.
At this point, my biggest concern is being dramatically out of shape. I have unfortunately noticed my weight skyrocket since leaving my job as an Amazon delivery driver. At almost 50, I can’t just turn it on like I could at 20. It is going to take some time to get in shape which is why I am starting now.
I remember at 16, my shoulders aching from the pack. I am mentally preparing myself for the age appropriate penalty for carrying a pack. And for that reason, I will not only need to get in cardio-vascular shape but also weight bearing work. It means that I need to take some test hikes as well as exercise with my pack on.
I have all of the the 1980s – 1990s era gear that I need. I used to use my pack every month when I was that age. That being said, I may want to make some upgrades. But to start out, I think I want to “run what I brung”. This will also be part of the test regimen.
End Your Programming Routine: This is all subject to how things go with treatment. If it turns out that I can really make a go of getting fit, then I will likely make it happen. Otherwise it will probably be an abort but not forever. I am realistically running out of daylight with my physical ability, meaning I cant wait for retirement to do this. Expect periodic updates here on how it is going. I am pursuing a dream.
May 22, 2024 – It’s a Funny Little Gadget
A few months ago, I was killing time at Walmart. I had dropped my wife off for some medical test and it was a time of night that not many things were open. I walked by the sporting goods counter to try and see what kind of air rifle pellets they kept in stock and I noticed this pen looking device. It turned out to be a ‘speed loader’ for air rifles.
I wasn’t going to buy it there. It annoys me that half of the items are locked up and there is no one in the area. The more these stores like Walmart and Target lock up more and more items, the more likely I am going to buy things online rather than at the store. It is a hassle factor for me that I dislike.
I never knew that anything existed like this. I am less interested in the speed loader function than the ability to portion off a smaller number of pellets. Typically when I am doing my daily practice, I portion out ten pellets into the lid. That is how I know I have done my proper daily routine.
But more so than that, I like the idea of taking these tubes out in the field rather than a whole can. Cans rattle with noise. They are also prone to spilling. I don’t really take my rifles out to the field, but if I did I would take these full of pellets. You can see that they have a pocket clip to keep them quickly accessible and safe.
So, how do they work? So, so. The fat rubber tube on the end has a propensity to block the view of the chamber causing a partial insertion or even miss. These work best on the break action, single shot, spring or piston driven rifles. This is where you break open the barrel and use the device to feed the pellet into the chamber by pushing the orange plunger. I found that I often have to finish the job with my thumb.
Despite the drawbacks, I still like the ability to portion off pellets. The ones that I have pictured here are Crossman. This is not the brand I saw at the store, but they were several dollars cheaper at $7 versus $10. Is this a must have accessory? Definitely not but it definitely satisfies my fully accessorizing obsession disorder.
End Your Programming Routine: No regrets here, they just don’t work as well as I would like. Maybe I should try the other brand too? At $7, they could be garbage and I wouldn’t have lost much. This isn’t the case, they are well made and I can envision use case scenarios where I would be glad I had them. I will keep using them because they fill a role in partialing out my daily allowance and maybe I will get better at using them.
May 21, 2024 – Were You Asleep Like I Was?
This is a few days late so if you missed it, you missed it. I unfortunately was asleep when it happened myself. I am talking about the northern lights that was widely viewable May 10.
It was a Friday night and we had gone out for Cajun crab and grilled oysters. That of course needed a couple of beers to go along with it. It was also an unseasonably warm night. Nights are my kryptonite. Since I am an early riser, I have a hard time staying awake after 9pm. But more so than that, Friday nights are the worst. After a long week and having to work extra in the morning, I relished falling asleep 10.
Sometimes you snooze and you lose. I had read earlier in the day that there was a high chance that the northern lights would be visible. It didn’t give specific locations, just that is was possible. I thought that maybe I would take a look in the sky when it got dark but my fatigue got the best of me and I passed out without a thought.
These were photos that my son took just slightly out of town. I am a little sad that I missed it. I remember walking home from work in college and seeing the Hale-Bopp comet in the night sky. It is not something that I have ever seen before or since. There is something awesome or amazing about seeing these types of phenomena when they are rare.
Sleeping through it all wasn’t the only way to miss it. My nephew was with my family and said that he couldn’t see it either because of color blindness. My parents who live about 15 miles away said they couldn’t see it despite constant checking. I don’t know if it was spotty or you had to look in a certain direction or what the deal was.
It is not unheard of to see the Northern Lights in Oregon. They are pretty rare and largely in the Winter. Most winters are cloudy and overcast or foggy if clear so the diminishes the chances even more. The east side of the state has many more clear skies in the winter but I don’t live there. In fact few people do so it is not widely publicized that it is possible. I have seen pictures on the news before.
The Northern Lights is really a chemistry display. The sun has periodic storms where charged particles are blasted into space. Some of those particles make it to the earth and react as they encounter the atmosphere. That reaction is those particles losing their charge and causing light as a byproduct. Not only is it nice to look at, it also keeps us safe.
End Your Programming Routine: Someday, I would like to go to Alaska and hopefully catch this event. That is not the only thing I want to do of course, but it is one of those things that seems like a magical experience. I really wish that I wouldn’t have slept through it but when I got up on Saturday, I was more refreshed than I had been all week. I think that God knew I needed my rest to keep up with leading this battle against cancer more than I needed to see the Northern Lights.
May 20, 2024 – My Brand of Frugal
I alluded to my frugality last week and it’s collision with other aspects of my life. Since that wasn’t the right time or place to talk about it, I dedicated an entire podcast to it. Today I talk about strategies to live a better life with less impact. I find a lot of satisfaction in successful frugality.
May 17, 2024 – The Divine Comedy, Purgatory, Canto XXV – XXVII
We are now at the last level of Purgatory and about to see some major changes. Really, Canto XXV is about the ascension to level seven but it really could fall between either review. This worked a little better for me to lump 25 with 26 and 27. The seventh level of Purgatory is a penance for lust.
Due to positioning, it would seem as though lust is the least offensive sin in the afterworld. The next step will be exit from Purgatory into paradise. Since I haven’t read it yet, I am not sure how things will be structured. It is described as a place where there is no sin. I guess we will have to see what happens as we go along.
One thing that I find interesting is the farther the group progresses, the less and less interactions they seem to have at each level. My speculation is that Dante has already cast all of his rage in all of the previous Cantos. It is easy to imagine people could be sinners but we don’t know about it. Therefore, souls are at these levels but we just don’t know who they are. Alternatively these are the people just like Dante and not the ‘evil villains’ in his life.
Without the interactions, it more limits what I might say about this level. There was an interesting soliloquy by Statius on the origin of life and the soul. He states that there is blood that involved in reproduction. That is the genesis of the soul. When a person dies, that magical blood has a state that reflects life. This is what causes the gluttons to appear starving.
As things wrap up, after the group has stepped through the fire, “Remember, Remember” is stated as Virgil’s last words. He now follows in deference rather than leading the way. It is stated that Purgatory is the limit of human reason. Thinking about it, I am not sure I totally understand. But maybe it is that reason does not have the ability to imagine life without sin.
If that is true, I find this line of thinking a little strange. I don’t think that humans spend a lot of time dwelling on sin. In fact, I would actually find it easier to believe that humans don’t believe in sin. It takes a pretty self-aware person to recognize they are doing wrong and to stop doing it. Many people know they are doing wrong but don’t stop even if there are eternal consequences.
Clearly I am not talking about things such as violence against other humans but the so called victimless crimes. Things like prostitution would fall into this category. It would seem to violate God’s law but not really human nature. The fundamental question about this whole subject is reason divine or innate? Further, if it is born into us, wouldn’t that potentially be divine as well? And yet I would argue prostitution has no quarrel with human nature.
End Your Programming Routine: We are about to go to our rewards with Dante. Fueled by his desire to reunite with Beatrice, it is driving him to get through all of that mess including walking through fire. This is almost one of those moments of faith like Moses parting the Red Sea. The next week will be the remainder of the Inferno Canto XXVII – XXIII.
May 16, 2024 – What Happened, How Should I Feel?
There she is, this is the actual RV that I attempted to purchase. In a fit of luck(?) I was denied a loan. OK, that is the bottom line. But now let us get into the story of it.
Last week, I wrote about looking at RVs. In the week that transpired, I found one that I liked the price and would fit the immediate needs. That is, a place to stay for a month while my wife goes through a medical treatment where we have to stay close to the hospital. As I wrote last week, I am really kind of taken by the class B (converted van) type of body. While what is pictured below is a class C.
This was a 2007, had under 50,000 mil and was in really good shape. The best part was that the price was $28,000. I liked it a lot for our upcoming trip even if it was not exactly what I would have liked. My wife and I were really impressed when we saw it. She told a couple of her friends that we were looking at RVs and one of them asked if we wanted to split it. She immediately said yes and was ready to start pursuing it.
I don’t want to give off negative vibes. These are good people and the women are deep friends. In my mind, I was thinking “no, this is not what I want”. Despite the cost of ownership being split, I didn’t want to have to worry about I want to do this so you need to pay half or I really didn’t want that even if you paid for it all.
I have talked about being frugal before. If it were up to me, I would probably have piles of money. Of course, we have a yin and yang in our marriage and the financial side leans away from my yang quite a bit. I was definitely worried about taking on another obligation with my wife’s future. If I didn’t want this for her, it would be a hard no from me.
While I was wrestling with this, I prayed. I asked God for a sign on making the right decision. I started softening a bit after I didn’t get any sign I could see in the proceeding days. I started thinking about splitting the cost was really as safer starting point. I really didn’t want to commit, but I wanted to please so I said yes.
We were denied by the loan application. How does that feel? Relieved actually. I wanted this for her and I kind of wanted it for me. But all of the work getting ready to park it, the extra financial burden, the sharing aspect that I did not want actually makes me feel relieved.
I don’t know why we were denied. I suspect that it may be that my wife is on FMLA leave and not making any income, but you know all of the variables that go into that. I figured it was a slam dunk once we filled out the paperwork. God thought otherwise.
I won’t deny that there are some other emotions involved. The second one being shame. We started making plans with people and sharing what we are doing to now have to back track. I also won’t deny that I think we have too much debt. For me, any amount is too much and I wish that we had none but that is the whole yin/yang thing again. For me, that is a little shameful as well.
The third emotion is worry. What if there is something that caused this? I am waiting for the denial letter and then I will check my credit to see if something is amiss. We will need a new(er) car in the next few years and I make a lot of money per month. Not being able to qualify for a modest car sized loan is concerning.
End Your Programming Routine: Too often I only talk about success. Granted I don’t have that many, this is definitely a failure. I probably should have stood with my gut and said no from the get go. I am definitely weak when it comes to putting my foot down financially and I haven’t done a lot of it for many years. Thank goodness God has my back.
May 15, 2024 – The Monster Is Growing
This is kind of a fun one for me. I have had some time lately where my wife is getting long visits with friends. As a result, I hide out in the basement working on my experiment with Linux and radios. I do have my Software Defined Radio working, it is just not quite dialed in.
I am monitoring the stations that say are Police/Fire but I have yet to hear anything. It is kind of like fishing. You don’t catch anything if you don’t try but just because you are fishing doesn’t mean that you are going to catch anything. I don’t know if my antenna is not good enough or the frequencies are wrong or the software doesn’t work as advertised.
Regardless, the bottom monitor was one that I had in my office. It stopped working reliably in December of last year. It would plug in and work for a day until the computer went to sleep and then it would stop working until I unplugged it for a day or so. I replaced the monitor and put it in the recycle pile.
But, since the monitor was in my way, I decided to test it a little further and plug it into my Linux computer. I had a bit of a working theory that there was something to do with the graphics card since the monitor seemed to work on one machine but not when I switched over to another computer with a KVM (Keyboard Video Mouse) switch. Low and behold, it worked all week. Then I decided to hook two monitors up and it worked another two weeks.
Rather than throwing a 27″ monitor away. I decided to go for it and order a dual monitor stand. In the picture you can see that the tower on the left is the computer I have been talking about. The tower on the right is my XP machine running Linux Mint (32-bit). You read that correctly, Windows XP. This is the machine that my wife insists still has pictures and data that she still wants. These two also have a KVM switch attached to them.
Given that the Linux Mint computer is almost twenty years old and running out of date hardware, it actually runs pretty well. In fact, it runs significantly better than when I try to boot into XP. That is a good 10 minute wait before everything gets going. As an example, I swapped out the wireless card with one that I replaced in my main computer around Christmas time (to add Bluetooth). Mint recognized the card and added a driver and XP did not. I don’t really care because both of them are wired as well. I use it mostly as a troubleshooting tool.
I learned though that the same KVM problem came back when I tried to use the 27″ monitor as the primary monitor by both systems. This means that the upper monitor is the one that works with both computers but I don’t see myself using the old Linux Mint machine much given that it is somewhat limited. I wouldn’t have done this anyway if I didn’t have two monitors in the first place.
Given that I am getting things real cozy in that spot, I started thinking about it would make a good place to put some radios as well. Lately, I have been scrolling through a lot of vintage CB base stations and different GMRS radios. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of that is in my future. I will have to modify shotgun hull storage area to do so. Given that reloads can’t be used in trap competition it is unlikely that I will be ever doing that.
End Your Programming Routine: My only real problem with this new setup is that it is cold. It is not a good place to sit for a long time even bundled up. That being said, it is kind of fun re-purposing old hardware and upgrading at the cost of pennies on the dollar compared to their technological heyday. If I have to keep something around, I might as well enjoy it.
May 14, 2024 – Local Alert, Local Alert…
Your experience may very. I should say that I certainly hope it does. But, I am going to talk about another recent trip to the local Emergency Room. In my area, there are four hospitals that are within 30 minutes.
The closest one, about fifteen minutes is a small, feeder type hospital. I would go there for common or simple problems. Those would be things like stitches or simple casts. In fact, I would go there if I was on the fence because they will transport to the larger hospital if it is actually life threatening. But beyond clear problems, you are better off going to the larger, regional hospital (coming later as option 4).
One of the four I will skip. It is not a regional trauma center and it is the farthest of the four. I will call option 3. This is a larger hospital and is fully functional. It serves as the regional life flight location. I like this one for ER visits because it is significantly easier to get in. This is a different hospital network than the first option I talked about. It makes it difficult to cross between the two systems.
Option 4 is what I would call the preferred hospital. It is the one tied to my wife’s doctors and has the most capability. Lord help you if need to go to the ER. A few weeks ago we had a routine appointment and the nurses were worried about high blood pressure so they sent us to the ER.
I have seen unsubstantiated claims that this is one of the busiest ERs on the west coast. We sat in the waiting room for several hours before getting some attention. They do triage walk-ins and certain people were sent back before us despite arriving after. This was also a day that the waiting room was only about a 1/4 full. What I would consider a light day in my experience.
We had a second trip to the ER recently as well. In this one the waiting room was full and there was a line out the door. Even when we were discharged at 1AM it was still full. This unit was built in 2010 and there are already not enough rooms. They are now putting beds against the wall. The people that are admitted that they think are not seriously injured end up in those beds.
My point is, given that they really don’t do much well besides trauma, you are better off not going to the ER. It ends up with an expensive price tag and a referral back to your primary for follow-up. Please do go if you feel like you need to go, Just don’t expect it to be like TV. They rarely solve problems or do anything other than checklist type care. They are going to make sure you are stable and then discharge to get through the full waiting room.
There is one thing that I have learned. If you really must go to the ER, go by ambulance. Of course this adds another expense to the whole process but you will surely get admitted and immediate care. I know that I may be coming of with lack of compassion. I think that you know it when you see it and I haven’t really seen it yet. Most of the people that go to the ER go to try and cross out worry rather than solve an immediate problem.
End Your Programming Routine: By all means, the emergency room is for emergencies. Unfortunately, most people’s definition of emergency is different than mine. I would also say that you have a voice. Yes, we would have not gone to the ER if the nurses hadn’t insisted. But, you can also say no. It is not easy but it is your life.
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