Author: bhayes952

July 10, 2024 – What A World We Live In

July 10, 2024 /

Maybe you are not like me. I like to think that while I didn’t share all the experiences of my generation, I grew up experiencing things that everyone did. I can remember getting a transistor radio for Christmas. As you probably know, radio has always been a part of my life. I would carry that radio around when I was doing stuff.

One time my brother and I were messing around. As we did, we were climbing a tree. I had the radio setup on a branch and it fell and snapped off 2/3 of the antenna. Maybe, I could have gotten a replacement through Radio Shack, that time has long passed. But the truth is, if we use our stuff at some time it is going to get damaged. Back in the 1980s, if it couldn’t be found in a store it didn’t exist.

A month or so ago, when I bought my scanner, it was missing an antenna. I purchased one that plugged into the BNC port in the back. After further inspection, I found that there was a second place for an antenna. One port is for the ‘factory’ antenna and the other is for expansion or a better antenna. I decided to order a second antenna for the factory replacement.

The first one I ordered was two for $8. What I didn’t realize was that the diameter of the antenna was 7mm and the hole was 5.5mm. I started my search again and found that most antennas do not list a diameter. This is likely because most devices don’t have a thickness restriction. In my case, the antenna is inset into the case. For a brief moment I thought about modifying the case just by drilling a larger hole but first I decided to find a better replacement.

I found an antenna that was listed for RC cars and toys that had a diameter of 4.5mm. Bingo, that works. I really wanted one antenna for $5 but I had to buy six for $8. Now, I have five spares. Not that I think I will be carrying my scanner around but I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up buying another used one at some point.

I have always taken care of my stuff. For instance, I still carry my pocketknife I purchased in high school. But stuff happened and my handheld radio fell because I was using it like it was intended. Too often, those events were the death knell without the ability to buy replacement parts. I was extremely sad when that happened and the radio got thrown in the junk pile.

Amazon in particular has become a boon for cheap and outdated accessories. As personal electronics have a lifecycle, you can’t just walk in and find a I-Pod Nano screen protector at a store. Especially not unless it is a specialty store. But, you can find that stuff on Amazon and cheap too.

I live relatively close to a mid-sized city. There is one electronics store that is pretty sparsely populated. It is kind of a mix of radio/antenna focused components and odds and ends. I would probably shop there more if they had what I wanted. The demise of Fry’s electronics took away the other semi-local options. So, really all I have is the internet.

End Your Programing Routine: If I had had the internet in the 1980s, it wouldn’t surprise me if I would be rocking that handheld radio today. That wasn’t the only device that was a victim of broken antennas either. As much as I would rather have a place to go to buy what I wanted, I am sure thankful there is a place to buy anything I can think of. It makes buying used viable.

July 9, 2024 – The Main Event

July 9, 2024 /

Tomorrow is Day 0. That is the day of the stem cell transplant and the beginning of the end. Hopefully, it is the lowest point in the entire process. I was thinking of writing about what the facilities look like when you have to move away from home but I think that is best for another day. Today is going to be more somber and vigilant.

In the family housing building, there is a tree with a bunch of blank tabs representing the leaves of the tree. The building shares facilities with the Ronald McDonald house. If you have been fortunate to not know much about Ronald McDonald, this is a place to stay when children are sick. I assume that the tree is for anyone to add a leaf to, but it looked to me that these were wished primarily to kids.

I took a random photo of a book that contained former hanging leaves. Talk about perspective… I don’t care what is going on in the world, some people have much bigger problems. While I consider what I do important and somewhat cathartic, there is nothing that compares innocence stolen by disease.

This tree is kind of my version of the Vietnam wall. While some of the leaves made it, some did not. It wasn’t for lack of trying. Whatever happens in my journey from this point on, we have had 26 years married, fought and loved, raised children to adults and made the world better together. While I hope for the best, I go into the process knowing that there are risks.

End Your Programming Routine: I want to keep it short and simple today. There are greater powers at work here. Because this was just a random picture, there were some leaves that were just heart breaking on that tree. It can almost always be worse. I am thankful that there is still a good chance to move beyond this.

July 8, 2024 – In the Middle

July 8, 2024 /

What do you think about when you hear the term ‘Middle Manager’? I will bet that the gut reaction is not positive. Admittedly, mine isn’t either. I am going to try and convince you differently. Let’s see how I did.

July 5, 2024 – The Divine Comedy, Paradise, Canto XIV – XVIII

July 5, 2024 /

Mars is now the fifth level of paradise. Dante takes the path of the Roman world and Mars is home to the warriors of god. There is some talk about the knights or fighters of the Crusade era but most of the conversation is with one particular spirit named Cacciaguida.

As luck would have it, Cacciaguida is the great, great grandfather of Dante. It is pretty fortunate that Dante has become a special interest of God but even more so that his distant relative is one of the saviors of Florence and very pious. My research has not been able to substantiate this claim. But the truth is I didn’t look very hard either.

Since Dante serendipitously has this encounter, he gets a lesson in his family tree. Another advantage of heaven is being able to see the future. After Dane’s history lesson, he is informed about the fact that he is going to be exiled from Florence. This of course is very concerning and takes a couple of Canto’s for him to get over the news.

The ironic (or obvious) thing is that his exile has already occurred. So, this is a story that is written in the future about events that have already occurred in the current time. I don’t know that all that really mattered and surely most of the people reading or watching this would not have all of that knowledge. No suspended belief is really necessary from that standpoint.

Things have kind of run their course for me. I am ready to move on with this story and book. The story is so heavy and obscure that I am having a hard time keeping my interest. I find that when I start reading that my eyes become pretty heavy. I have to fight with all I have not to fall asleep. Each Canto is becoming a slog.

You all remember that this epic began in January. I am going to save my final analysis for a few weeks from now. But, I cant help to lay out where I am now. I would say that eight plus months is just too long to do something like this. I have already purchased three or four books in the meantime that I am looking forward to getting to. But, I have to put this one to bed.

From Dante’s perspective, I can see why the likes of Charlemagne or Roland is a hero. I have a lot more difficulty buying into that. History is history but it reminds me of the saying “the ends don’t justify the means”. The reality is, the acts of the Crusade is not that much different than teaching the Taliban a lesson. My own empire is just as complicit as the Holy Roman empire in the imperialism.

There is an argument to be made that true believers must put their money where their mouth is. Hence, for a Catholic king, there is only one true religion and all others are sinners or at least heretics to said religion. I don’t believe that. All monotheistic religions follow a similar core set of beliefs. I have a hard time believing that a good and righteous God would only favor western Europeans in the one true light. And so salvation depends on your birthright.

As a Christian my entire life, I do subscribe to the tenants of the religion. But, they are pretty bad when it comes to the edges of theology. As an example, when does turn the other cheek turn into abuse? Surely Jesus doesn’t mean love your neighbor as you are getting raped. Even the act of accepting we are sinners while we keep on sinning is a real dichotomy. I have found very little comfort when it comes to the transition points of the religion.

Canto XVIII is more on Jupiter than on Mars. I made a decision to cover the entire level even if it bled into the next. That means that next week is Canto XIX and XX. This will be the level of righteous rulers like David (of Goliath).

End Your Programming Routine: My end you programming recommendation is get out of your head. Just because we believe that we are anointed by God doesn’t mean that we are. We are fond of saying love the soldier, hate the war but we are turning a blind eye to our politicians. Ukraine, Russia, Israel and Iran are not worth fucking around to find out. We didn’t learn a thing in Afghanistan.

July 3, 2024 – The Gear List

July 3, 2024 /

Those of you that have fantasies of hiking the PCT like I do may have a disconnect with reality. As it pertains to gear, we can spend a lot of money on getting outfitted and can easily get lead in the wrong direction. As an example, my wife used to be fairly active in a local kayaking group. Almost without fail, you would see new participants show up with the cheapest possible kayak. They would struggle, get discouraged and quit soon after.

I don’t necessarily think that inexpensive will lead to failure. Nor do I believe that trying something for the first time warrants buying the top of the line. But, what it does mean is like all things in life, you need to apply critical thinking about it. Start small or reasonable. Maybe even borrow things rather than investing in a failure to launch. Once you get to know what you like and not, then you can start personalizing the things you want versus what you really need.

I have or can find any of the gear that I really need for my trip. I have been on a weeklong hike before. That part I am confident in. But, now that I have some means I am likely in line for some upgrades. I would say that we had top of line gear in the early 1990s. But there have been some significant technological advances since that point, primarily in weight.

Most of the trips included my brother. We had a two man tent. One of us would pack the tent and the other would pack the stove as an example. That tent probably weighed ten pounds and strictly speaking a tent is not required. But, I want to be able to get out of the weather if necessary and I am a little worried about being eaten alive by bugs. That puts the tent on my list of wants.

Part of the reason for me to put this gear list together is that I need to start practicing. I want to know if my current gear is adequate or not. I want to start planning so that I don’t end up buying things all at once and give me some time to practice and make decisions. I want to know what doesn’t work as well so I am not stuck out in the wilderness with something I have never used.

My existing pack is an external frame pack from the late 1980s. At the time I purchased it, it has a lifetime warranty. My recent research has revealed that the company has gone out of business. Not from making poor products but from having poor company management. It is an age old story of company sold and run into the ground by the new owners.

Now that I am freed from that life long warranty, I can admit that newer designs and materials may have advantages. But, I want to take some hikes with this old pack. It has seen plenty of use but I want to determine if this fifty year old can tolerate 1980s technology. My son has also been using it for Boy Scouts. I may want another pack if he decides to go. But, at this point, there is no reason to rush out and spend $300 on a new pack without determining if what I already have will serve. Even if my boys decide not to go or they cant, I still might want to have some practice hikes including them. Upgrading my pack remains to be seen.

Certain costs on my list are unavoidable. I am going to need to eat on my hike. I might be able to mitigate some of that cost by bringing my own homemade granola or trail mix or dried fruit. I figured that I would put worse case scenario down and have an entire menu of freeze dried food. For budgetary purposes, I have a cost of my meal plan.

That of course will be purchased before the hike. But again, it may be worth trying some of this stuff out. I remember that I thought freeze dried food was pretty good when I was a teenager. But the stuff that I have eaten lately has been terrible. I want to try some different brands and entrees to determine what I like best.

I came of age in an era that believed ankle support was necessary. If you look at the NBA today, nobody wears a ‘high top’ shoe. Hiking boots with heavy waffle souls were the trail preferred footwear. But plenty of ultramarathoners wear a trail running shoe for a 100mi race. It is no wonder that Cheryl Strayed threw her boots off the mountain as they were the cause of the pain, and not the resolution of it. The most important footwear is the one that you can walk all day and be comfortable.

In my running days, the common mantra was about 200mi per pair of shoes. I found that after a few months, the padding started to break down causing me knee pain. When my knees started hurting, it was time to get a new pair of shoes. I want to make sure that I am comfortable with my footwear before my trip. The last thing you want are blisters foot pain for a week on the trail.

As with all things, all gear is in degrees. I could choose a much cheaper water disinfection rather than filtration. I probably want some wardrobe upgrades with specialty clothes. I even have some optional items that I haven’t totally settled on. This trip isn’t about how much I can carry but to be comfortable with what I am taking.

End Your Programming Routine: All things considered, outfitting for $2500 is not an outrageous vacation. That would be if I bought all of the options. Plenty of people have a $1500 rifle for hunting and then add all the other gear you are probably topping $5000. As you should know by now, I don’t want to buy stuff just because I can. I have plenty of useful gear already, let’s see if it still works for me.

July 2, 2024 – Wearables

July 2, 2024 /

I have had a GPS watch for a long time. My wife bought it for me when I was training for my half-marathon in 2015. I found that by using the GPS function, the watch would go from fully charged to dead before I finished my half marathon (13.1 miles/2 hours).

The watch was advertised as being able to last several day in GPS mode. Initially it lasted several hours or several runs worth which was a couple of days for me. But after a year, it became almost useless in the GPS mode. So it became a rechargeable, digital clock. I wore it as a watch only until the silicone band broke.

My wife has been hounding me to get a wearable. The real reason is that when I am working in the shop, I don’t hear or feel my phone ringing most of the time. It is more of a tracking mechanism than a productivity enhancement. I like having a watch and it certainly isn’t worth fighting the power.

I considered two options. One was the Apple Watch and the other was Garmin and their many models. I liked the native Apple integration and I believe that they make quality products but it was the battery life that sealed the deal for me. The Garmin Instinct 2x has built in solar charging. You can see from the picture that the watch claims to currently have 39 days of charge.

The first model I considered was the Garmin Fenix. I am not sure what the total capabilities were, but it had a full color GPS screen in the watch face. When I looked at the cost of around $1000, I took a step back. What am I really asking a watch to do?

The Apple Watch is really a scaled down phone. In many ways, that appealed to me because I don’t like having to carry the phone around. That being said, this comes with a service cost. This means the cost of ownership perpetually grows. From a preparedness standpoint, it does give you duplicate capability. That is a good thing.

I am a believer in single purpose devices or tools. It is better to have a tool do the one thing it is intended to do well rather than three things marginal. If you can get the one thing well and the others marginal, that is better. Make sure to have another tool do those marginal tasks as well. So, a color GPS watch is cool, but is it really practical? I guess if I had money to burn I might choose the top of the line and just never use the feature. That is not really a position that I am in.

I am going to give an unvarnished opinion. I think the Garmin has the best features for fitness oriented people. If you want to track miles, and heart rate, etc this watch is for you. The Apple/Samsung watch is for people addicted to their phones. If you don’t fall into either of the groups, like me then wearables are a solution looking for a problem.

Like I stated in the opening, my wife wanted me to have the watch for her reasons. The selection and features I made were oriented toward my PCT hike. Maybe I will use it and maybe I wont. I plan on practicing with an actual GPS. In fact, I am looking into a satellite communicator integrated into a GPS device not just for the hike. Why would I carry a watch, a phone, a GPS and a satellite device? It definitely seems like overkill.

End Your Programming Routine: I have been wearing the watch for a couple of weeks now. I am still learning how to use it and optimize it. For instance every time my ring camera senses motion, it buzzes my wrist. Talk about annoying, but that is a subject for another day. I like seeing the weather, sunrise/sunset times and things on my wrist. The model name says ‘Tactical’ in it. That is totally worth the money. But really, it is an expensive toy.

July 1, 2024 – Let Freedom Ring

July 1, 2024 /

I feel like we like to celebrate freedom that we don’t ever exercise or maybe not even believe in. This is a seasonal discussion that links the principles of freedom with the milestone events of the period namely graduation and the Fourth of July. Join me as I discuss what my graduation speech would be like and why I will never give one and how that relates to the founders.

June 28, 2024 – The Divine Comedy, Paradise, Canto X – XIII

June 28, 2024 /

I think that we can all imagine stepping onto the moon. Possibly we could imagine going to Venus or Mars, but the sun? That is where we landed today on the fourth layer of Dante’s paradise.

I haven’t done the research but I find it interesting that when Dante went to the moon, he goes to great lengths to describe the ‘glassy’ surface. The topography of planet played heavily into the how the characters interreacted with Dante. As we go farther along in the journey, the more abstract the surroundings become.

There is barely a mention of being on the sun in four Cantos. When it is, it really is not clear where the characters really are. It is just the brilliance of the souls as a inference to the sun. In fact, the surface and interaction on each planet are more closely related to the Roman mythology than the are to the actual astronomy.

I know that this is written before the great scientific discoveries of the Renaissance. Dante’s theory about the planets and the sun rotating around the earth proves that they didn’t have all the data. It certainly predates anything but rudimentary optics. I suppose that it is fair to say that they just didn’t know much about the planets.

Not being Catholic, I am not well versed in many of the important figures. I have heard of some of the monastic orders, not well enough to name them all, let alone what the primary focus is about. Once again, this section is heavily influenced by the figures of Dante’s Catholic world.

The basic premise of this layer is Dante is met by one group. After they have made fun of one order, that order shows up to make fun of the former. I think this is part of the ‘divine comedy’ aspect of the work. I really didn’t get the jokes. Unlike a lot of this study, I at least recognized the overt attempt at comedy. For a lot of it, I suspect that you had to be there.

The first circle was led by Thomas Aquinas. There is a name that I have heard before. In fact, I have written a little bit in this series referencing him. Aquinas was a member of the Dominican order. Looking up their mission, they are focused on preaching, specifically against heresy. They use their spotlight to make fun of the Franciscan order.

Francis of Assisi was the founder of the Franciscan order. There focus was on a nomadic, evangelical mission. He and his group make fun of the Dominican order. Then, they get together an sing Dante and Beatrice off to Mars. If you are interested in Catholic politics, then this may be the level of Paradise for you.

I think what strikes me as a protestant is the cult of personality. I have no idea whether these people were creepers who happened to do something good or not. In fact, while I heavily disagree with the theology of the Catholic church, I won’t deny that the appearance of piety has my respect. I think that with all things a degree of critical thinking is necessary for goodness.

What I mean is that I am positive these orders have done many good things for the world. That being said, I highly suspect that they have been involved in some pretty bad things too. If we accept the fact that all men sin, that means even founders and followers do as well. Preaching, educating, helping the poor, trying to live like Jesus are all noble goals. I don’t foresee saking one approach over another is necessarily the end all be all.

That is not to say that I don’t respect the decision to join an order, all I said above applies. I just cannot concretely agree that one is better or worse than the other. We as believers need to be careful that we are not sucked into human hierarchy of better/worse and one right way.

End Your Programming Routine: Next week is one of the longer remaining sections. That would be Canto XIV – XVIII. Every since we have have been in Paradise, I just see technicolor weirdness. I guess my vision of eternity was always light, bright and serene. This seems manic and all over the place. It sure beats the alternative I guess but seems a little too surreal for me.

June 27, 2024 – Am I the Doppleganger?

June 27, 2024 /

I am keeping it light and fun today. I am digging deep to keep up with everything going on in my life. I am also struggling to do anything other than what I can do. So, why not do something fun?

When I started dating my wife, this would have been the mid 1990s I met her grandparents. One of her grandmother’s ‘hobbies’ was to identify celebrities that looked like people that she knew. One day my wife took me to the refrigerator to point out my picture along with one of Michael Keaton.

Honestly, I didn’t see it. But, that was really just one of me and one of him. Subsequently, There have been times that I definitely see it. This picture being one of them. Subsequently, I have had multiple people say to me that I look like Michael Keaton. I usually share this photo afterward.

As I am writing ahead, by the time this posts we will be through the initial part of the transplant process. We have a little over one week until we are at the hospital for at least 35 days. Aside from working, I will also be caretaking. I have been wondering if I will be able to do any Altf4.co work. I certainly will probably have time to read and write but anything other than that will be a push.

Why am I saying this? Because I am not sure that I can keep up. If you remember last year, I had to take a hiatus in the July time frame for our vow renewal, exchange student hosting and preparation. The difference being that I had written my Friday book reviews already. I am just barely keeping up with Paradise because it is too complicated and I am starting to get fatigue from reading a book this long. I am sure that my situation isn’t helping much either.

I am going to plan on doing some posting but I cannot guarantee anything at this point. Just know that it would not be my preference to go radio silent but it might happen. Fair warning.

End Your Programming Routine: Michael Keaton is a generation older than me. I could be his child, so clearly I am the doppelganger. Since accepting my fate, I have become more of a Michael Keeton fan. Always a fan of Batman, now I will watch movies just because he is in them, not that I am interested as much in the plot. I don’t know if I really want to watch Beetlejuice Beetlejuice but I probably will just because he is in it. Maybe it is something to do while we are cooped up at the hospital.

June 26, 2024 – Proving That I am Not a Purist

June 26, 2024 /

Not that I care about judgement, but I do want you to know that I am a normal person. I don’t always hold true to my beliefs. One of my beliefs is avoiding processed foods. We were experimenting with a ‘boxed dinner’ as they say in Canada. This was to see if this was something that we wanted to use to get by when we are staying up in the hospital.

Back in my early life, before I really started to challenge myself cooking we used to eat these boxed dinners. They were right sized for the two of us, the were cheap and easy to make. I shifted away from them as we started to work toward healthier choices but I remember thinking that they tasted pretty good.

I am a big fan of Crocodile Dundee. He has a famous line ‘you can live on it but it tastes like shit’. After eating one of these, I kind of know what he means. Mushy noodles, thin sauce with a slight chemical undertone. It certainly was easy to make and it definitely filled us up but boy it was not good.

Unfortunately, I bought several of these. Maybe the kids will eat them while we are gone? I doubt it since they didn’t grow up with it and my younger son is a vegetarian. But I will continue to side with Crocodile Dundee.

As I stated on the title, I am not a purist. While I would not like to recommend this as a diet plan, I think that there is a time and place. A good time would be a camping trip or being stuck at a hospital with limited facilities and options. Based on my exposure to freeze dried meals, I don’t think that this is any less bad. This was another thing that I used to think tasted much better.

One of the things that we used to consider gourmet in the early years was a boxed pasta. We would also buy some fish parts that were off-cuts of salmon considered cheeks and odd bits. I would grill them on a tiny barbeque and then serve them with fettucine. We thought that was kind of high society. At least it wasn’t ramen like we were eating in college.

Talking to my wife’s insurance company, they have a benefit for meal planning and food drop off. There is more on that to come but it sounds like they are going to suggest a menu and then drop off the food too. It will be interesting to see what they suggest. One of the restrictions on her recovery is that food cannot be over two days old. So, there is only so much planning we can do. I am thinking maybe those frozen stir-fry packages might be a better option than boxed dinner.

End Your Programming Routine: Well, we have this in our back pocket as an option. I am hoping the meal planning provides a better solution but I am also glad that we tried. It just reminds me why we left these behind. Sometimes we need reminders of why we make the decisions that we make. It is almost like you remember why taking tequila shots on Thursday night is not a good idea on Friday morning.