Author: bhayes952

May 31, 2024 – The Divine Comedy, Purgatory, Conclusion

May 31, 2024 /

Purgatory. We made it through.

I came into this saying to myself that I don’t believe in Purgatory and I don’t know anything about it. I even looked up biblical justification for purgatory. A lot came up about a little. There is one sentence in 2 Maccabees that says (loosely) ‘it is encouraged to pray for the souls of the dead’. There are several references in the New Testament about judgment and atonement for sin is required to enter Heaven ( 1 Peter 1:6-7 and 1 Corinthians 3:13-15) . Based on the fact that this is codified in the catechisms, I say hardly a smoking gun.

Don’t get me wrong, I highly respect the Catholic church. But I am already skeptical of the process of the assembly of the bible, a perfect translation and a couple of sentences as a full doctrine of the afterlife. I say that we are going to have to agree to disagree on this.

I guess you could say that I was prepared to not like Purgatory. The truth is, I actually liked it better than Hell. I understood the purpose was for souls to atone for earthly sin before proceeding. I have often wondered why exactly a murderer would get the same treatment as a person of lifelong faith. As crazy as it sounds, Purgatory made more sense to me than hell did.

I felt like what was going on in this book was more in line with biblical theology and less about Dante’s personal vendetta in the Inferno. There was significantly less obscure name dropping as we are so far removed so as not to understand the context and much more focus on the issues at hand. Outside of the weird parade at the end, I think that Purgatory is a stronger work than the Inferno.

I have already read the introduction to Paradise. I think it is about to get weirder. Next week read Cantos I – IV to stay on the magic bus.

End Your Programming Routine: It is nice to be surprised. It is also nice to know that I wasn’t on something when I read the Inferno the first time. Without the footnotes to the book and the internet, I would be right back at 1992 wondering why this is considered a great work of literature. I actually appreciate it a lot more being able to follow along with what is written.

May 30, 2024 – 1000

May 30, 2024 /

Believe it or not, this is post number 1000. Today is not going to be grandiose or spectacular. I am going to talk about what doing this project has meant to me.

I have been a chronic podcast listener since 2008. One of the first podcast I started listening to (and still do) is The Survival Podcast. One of the host’s schticks is starting your own lifestyle business, like he did. I loved that idea and it was my plan to work toward it until life got in the way. Then when I quit my job in 2019 I was going to officially start the process.

My wife finally kicked my butt in to gear in late 2019. I had Toolbox Fallacy about getting started. I needed the right domain name, a good business plan, a way to monetize it and start making a six figure income. I finally realized that the best way to do it was just to start. And I had investigated WordPress four or five years earlier where I opened an account titled Floricane.

You can go back through all the archives if you want to read the actually history of all of this. The point is that I started writing because I hadn’t figured out how to podcast yet. Then I found I liked writing and it was easier to not try to figure out new things. I put another roadblock in the way until I forced myself to learn how to podcast.

I feel like if I took my own advice, I would quit doing this. I am not making money and I probably never will. I know what my problem is, I hate social media. I will never market myself in the fashion that is needed to make it work. I will never build a following because this that is not how I want to spend my time. From the little bit I do, I don’t enjoy it in the least. I don’t even want to do the necessarily evil level of it.

Doing this is not without merit or benefit. This is what keeps me going. First thing’s first, I enjoy doing it. Secondly, I have learned a lot in the process. I think that it keeps me motivated to keeps me thinking and doing. Particularly with podcasts, I keep working on being able to speak with minimal preparation.

I doubt that my reading would be as focused. I don’t see myself reading Dante for fun. Many of the other books I have read recently, I have already read before. This effort has truly made me consider philosophy a fundamental discipline. I used to lump it in with pseudo psychology but now I wish that I had a stronger basis. Philosophy (the love of learning) is the practice of logic, something that is sorely missing these days.

It has not always been easy, particularly recently. It seems like I am always working or working on this. I am doing those things at the exclusion of other things that I want to do or enjoy doing. However, I believe that I am getting dividends as a labor of love. There may come a day that I decide that I would rather put my efforts elsewhere. That day has yet to come.

I am not sure I would have imagined making it to 1000 posts. I guess that I was proceeding without an imagination of what the future would look like in general. Here’s to another 1000.

May 29, 2024 – Rambo… Was It That Bad?

May 29, 2024 /

The year was 1985. We didn’t even have a VCR yet. We were still renting a suitcase to be hooked up to the TV on the couple times a year occasion that we would get to rent a movie. I was in the fourth grade so we certainly weren’t watching rated R movies. It was more like Herbie the Love Bug or at best Empire Strikes Back.

By the fifth grade, Rambo was all the rage and so was the survival knife. It was typically a chintzy, fixed blade knife that had some crappy survival gear in the handle and a compass on the butt end of the hilt. If you had one, then you were definitely a bad ass, like Rambo. I can’t say that I was the only one of my peers that hadn’t seen it, but I was amongst a small group.

I missed the Rambo craze. The first one was inaccessible, not old enough for the second one and ambivalent by the third (and fourth). With Pluto TV, I occasionally scroll through ‘Only This Month’ and the ‘Last Chance’ categories. I happened to see that Rambo I – III was available and so I thought that I would finally fill the gap and see what I was missing all those years ago.

What I expected was cheesy 80’s action with an A-Team plot. I have to say that it didn’t disappoint. The truth is, First Blood (the first one) was not half bad. If you haven’t seen it then let me quickly summarize. A Vietnam vet (Stallone) was looking to reunite with a former service brother. Walking into town as a loner or drifter draws the ire of local law enforcement who wrongly portray him as a bum. This ignites a war for Rambo to avoid being captured.

Being filmed in 1981, it was just six years from the evacuation of Saigon and twelve years from the Tet offensive and the escalation of conflict. There were plenty veterans that were under the age of 30 and permanently broken that felt like John Rambo. That would be lost, misunderstood and looking for normalcy in some way. It struck me as connecting to a generation in a much softer way than I expected.

Once the action started, the poignant part of the plot was mostly finished. It wasn’t terrible though. The action was overstated for sure but eventually his magazine was empty in the M16. Rambo II wasn’t nearly quite as good but it did start out with promise. Going after prisoners of war in a clandestine action is admirable and maybe almost believable. Exploding arrowheads and a grenade blowing up a waterfall is less so. The helicopter that blew-up from the two rockets shot from a Soviet gun ship was safe in the river.

Truthfully, I found the third one better than the second. The action was akin to something like John Wick or anything modern. The funny thing was that the movie was dedicated to the good people of Afghanistan. This was ostensibly a middle finger to the Soviet Union in 1988. Kind of ironic watching it in 2024. That being said, it wasn’t what I expected. Better in many ways.

I fell asleep in Rambo 4 when it was on Pluto a few months ago. This is what ignited this idea of watching the series. Unfortunately, it is no longer playing and I am too cheap to rent it. From the thirty minutes I saw, it is in line with contemporary action movies. I am looking forward to catching it when it is on again.

End Your Programming Routine: It is kind of fun going back and reliving movies that I never saw. Like all things, I probably would have been much more complimentary if I ‘remembered’ it to be better than it was. There have been many movies that I watched again later in life and wasn’t as fond of with perspective. Sometimes it is best to leave them where they were. But, it doesn’t hurt to see what all the commotion was way back when…

May 28, 2024 – Is Success Freedom?

May 28, 2024 /

It is funny how the mind works. I get a spark of an idea which then is crafted and twisted into some sort of pseudo philosophical persuasion. Things can’t really be as they seem, or can they? Today I am talking about getting your mind right about perspective of life and career.

May 24, 2024 – The Divine Comedy, Purgatory, Canto XXVIII – XXXIII

May 24, 2024 /

Now that Dante has moved through the seven levels of purgatory, he has emerged in what has been called ‘Earthly Paradise’. This appears to be the entry into heaven. Dante and Statius must cross over the river Lethe to enter. This is the river that they have been following throughout the entire journey in various forms. It seems apparently like a symbolic baptism in the final crossing over.

I am not a fan of ‘mind f–k’ books or movies but that is what the section seems like seems like. These would be works like Alice in Wonderland, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Rocky Horror Picture Show. I am not immune to the wonder of divine acts but I really like things that make sense. At least I can sort of put my mind into the tortures and creatures of hell. The ‘procession’ that appears as they enter is almost too much.

Apparently, as new souls come into Earthly Paradise this procession comes out to meet them. It starts with a Gryphon pulling a cart. That Gryphon is supposed to represent Christ. There is also a singing candelabra followed by 24 elders, 17 from the old testament and seven from the new testament. There are also animals, young women dancing and old men.

Even that I can sort of buy into, but then it get’s weirder. An eagle attacks spraying feathers all over followed by a dragon coming out of the ground destroying the wagon. The parts turn into a giant being ridden by a whore. She gets whipped every time she looks at Dante by the giant. What?! It is here that Dante finally sees Beatrice for the first time in ten years. We are going to have to keep reading because as fast as she appears, she also disappears.

Some analysts say that this is beyond comprehension because humanity can not fully grasp God. But, I say this is all fiction and it was written by a man. Much has been foreshadowed as Virgil is no longer present. At least this logic makes sense. Virgil’s soul is not permitted in heaven but since his character is human reason, it is absent.

Before all of that chaos happened, the Gryphon tied the cart to a dead tree. The tree supposedly is from the original tree of Adam and Eve fame. This tree all of the sudden came to life and both flowered and fruited. This is what leads to the the analogy between the Gryphon and Christ. It also doesn’t hurt that he is half lion and half eagle. That is neither of either but some of both, as is Christ. I feel like Dante is about to inherit the chocolate factory if he minds his P’s and Q’s.

I don’t blame Date for passing out before crossing the river. This really blew my mind too but imagine this in a world before internet and a worldly knowledge? Literally insane. We are at the point of what being pious gets to. Let’s check it out in Dante’s Paradiso.

End Your Programming Routine: You get a week off from reading next week as I will do a wrap up of Purgatory. I don’t honestly know how to reconcile all of this. Dante is supposed to note what is happening and take it back when he returns to the real world. I can only speculate for Dante to become the next profit. I am not sure I totally buy that he is the anointed one but I guess it could happen to anybody. At the very least, Dante is sparking theological and philosophical introspection.

May 23, 2024 – Fifty for 50

May 23, 2024 /

I might regret mentioning this today. I hope that it is part of my accountability mechanism. But, I have always wanted to do a multi-day hike on the Pacific Crest Trail. I hadn’t made rank to participate on the one hike that we did when I was in Boy Scouts. I always imagined that I would be this rampant outdoorsman when I grew up. That hasn’t quite proven to be true.

When I was 39, my wife cajoled me into running a half marathon. Her idea was that we should be more fit at 40 than we were at thirty. I procrastinated as much as I could but I ended up running a half marathon at 41. I was definitely in pretty good shape at that time.

Before all of this cancer business, my wife said that she would like to run another marathon at fifty. This time I said no. But it did get me thinking that I am really running out of time to do a serious hike. I am calling this fifty at fifty because I am planning on going at least fifty miles on the PCT next year.

I have no real idea at this point what the plan is going to be. I am thinking that I am going to do the southern oregon portion for several reasons. The first being that there are no permits required to hike it. The second is that Ashland is a logical terminus for the hike. My wife loves Ashland (were we met and went to college) so I already have a shuttle driver. Doing a week duration, hike I should be able to carry what I need without resupplying.

At this point, my biggest concern is being dramatically out of shape. I have unfortunately noticed my weight skyrocket since leaving my job as an Amazon delivery driver. At almost 50, I can’t just turn it on like I could at 20. It is going to take some time to get in shape which is why I am starting now.

I remember at 16, my shoulders aching from the pack. I am mentally preparing myself for the age appropriate penalty for carrying a pack. And for that reason, I will not only need to get in cardio-vascular shape but also weight bearing work. It means that I need to take some test hikes as well as exercise with my pack on.

I have all of the the 1980s – 1990s era gear that I need. I used to use my pack every month when I was that age. That being said, I may want to make some upgrades. But to start out, I think I want to “run what I brung”. This will also be part of the test regimen.

End Your Programming Routine: This is all subject to how things go with treatment. If it turns out that I can really make a go of getting fit, then I will likely make it happen. Otherwise it will probably be an abort but not forever. I am realistically running out of daylight with my physical ability, meaning I cant wait for retirement to do this. Expect periodic updates here on how it is going. I am pursuing a dream.

May 22, 2024 – It’s a Funny Little Gadget

May 22, 2024 /

A few months ago, I was killing time at Walmart. I had dropped my wife off for some medical test and it was a time of night that not many things were open. I walked by the sporting goods counter to try and see what kind of air rifle pellets they kept in stock and I noticed this pen looking device. It turned out to be a ‘speed loader’ for air rifles.

I wasn’t going to buy it there. It annoys me that half of the items are locked up and there is no one in the area. The more these stores like Walmart and Target lock up more and more items, the more likely I am going to buy things online rather than at the store. It is a hassle factor for me that I dislike.

I never knew that anything existed like this. I am less interested in the speed loader function than the ability to portion off a smaller number of pellets. Typically when I am doing my daily practice, I portion out ten pellets into the lid. That is how I know I have done my proper daily routine.

But more so than that, I like the idea of taking these tubes out in the field rather than a whole can. Cans rattle with noise. They are also prone to spilling. I don’t really take my rifles out to the field, but if I did I would take these full of pellets. You can see that they have a pocket clip to keep them quickly accessible and safe.

So, how do they work? So, so. The fat rubber tube on the end has a propensity to block the view of the chamber causing a partial insertion or even miss. These work best on the break action, single shot, spring or piston driven rifles. This is where you break open the barrel and use the device to feed the pellet into the chamber by pushing the orange plunger. I found that I often have to finish the job with my thumb.

Despite the drawbacks, I still like the ability to portion off pellets. The ones that I have pictured here are Crossman. This is not the brand I saw at the store, but they were several dollars cheaper at $7 versus $10. Is this a must have accessory? Definitely not but it definitely satisfies my fully accessorizing obsession disorder.

End Your Programming Routine: No regrets here, they just don’t work as well as I would like. Maybe I should try the other brand too? At $7, they could be garbage and I wouldn’t have lost much. This isn’t the case, they are well made and I can envision use case scenarios where I would be glad I had them. I will keep using them because they fill a role in partialing out my daily allowance and maybe I will get better at using them.

May 21, 2024 – Were You Asleep Like I Was?

May 21, 2024 /

This is a few days late so if you missed it, you missed it. I unfortunately was asleep when it happened myself. I am talking about the northern lights that was widely viewable May 10.

It was a Friday night and we had gone out for Cajun crab and grilled oysters. That of course needed a couple of beers to go along with it. It was also an unseasonably warm night. Nights are my kryptonite. Since I am an early riser, I have a hard time staying awake after 9pm. But more so than that, Friday nights are the worst. After a long week and having to work extra in the morning, I relished falling asleep 10.

Sometimes you snooze and you lose. I had read earlier in the day that there was a high chance that the northern lights would be visible. It didn’t give specific locations, just that is was possible. I thought that maybe I would take a look in the sky when it got dark but my fatigue got the best of me and I passed out without a thought.

These were photos that my son took just slightly out of town. I am a little sad that I missed it. I remember walking home from work in college and seeing the Hale-Bopp comet in the night sky. It is not something that I have ever seen before or since. There is something awesome or amazing about seeing these types of phenomena when they are rare.

Sleeping through it all wasn’t the only way to miss it. My nephew was with my family and said that he couldn’t see it either because of color blindness. My parents who live about 15 miles away said they couldn’t see it despite constant checking. I don’t know if it was spotty or you had to look in a certain direction or what the deal was.

It is not unheard of to see the Northern Lights in Oregon. They are pretty rare and largely in the Winter. Most winters are cloudy and overcast or foggy if clear so the diminishes the chances even more. The east side of the state has many more clear skies in the winter but I don’t live there. In fact few people do so it is not widely publicized that it is possible. I have seen pictures on the news before.

The Northern Lights is really a chemistry display. The sun has periodic storms where charged particles are blasted into space. Some of those particles make it to the earth and react as they encounter the atmosphere. That reaction is those particles losing their charge and causing light as a byproduct. Not only is it nice to look at, it also keeps us safe.

End Your Programming Routine: Someday, I would like to go to Alaska and hopefully catch this event. That is not the only thing I want to do of course, but it is one of those things that seems like a magical experience. I really wish that I wouldn’t have slept through it but when I got up on Saturday, I was more refreshed than I had been all week. I think that God knew I needed my rest to keep up with leading this battle against cancer more than I needed to see the Northern Lights.

May 20, 2024 – My Brand of Frugal

May 20, 2024 /

I alluded to my frugality last week and it’s collision with other aspects of my life. Since that wasn’t the right time or place to talk about it, I dedicated an entire podcast to it. Today I talk about strategies to live a better life with less impact. I find a lot of satisfaction in successful frugality.

May 17, 2024 – The Divine Comedy, Purgatory, Canto XXV – XXVII

May 17, 2024 /

We are now at the last level of Purgatory and about to see some major changes. Really, Canto XXV is about the ascension to level seven but it really could fall between either review. This worked a little better for me to lump 25 with 26 and 27. The seventh level of Purgatory is a penance for lust.

Due to positioning, it would seem as though lust is the least offensive sin in the afterworld. The next step will be exit from Purgatory into paradise. Since I haven’t read it yet, I am not sure how things will be structured. It is described as a place where there is no sin. I guess we will have to see what happens as we go along.

One thing that I find interesting is the farther the group progresses, the less and less interactions they seem to have at each level. My speculation is that Dante has already cast all of his rage in all of the previous Cantos. It is easy to imagine people could be sinners but we don’t know about it. Therefore, souls are at these levels but we just don’t know who they are. Alternatively these are the people just like Dante and not the ‘evil villains’ in his life.

Without the interactions, it more limits what I might say about this level. There was an interesting soliloquy by Statius on the origin of life and the soul. He states that there is blood that involved in reproduction. That is the genesis of the soul. When a person dies, that magical blood has a state that reflects life. This is what causes the gluttons to appear starving.

As things wrap up, after the group has stepped through the fire, “Remember, Remember” is stated as Virgil’s last words. He now follows in deference rather than leading the way. It is stated that Purgatory is the limit of human reason. Thinking about it, I am not sure I totally understand. But maybe it is that reason does not have the ability to imagine life without sin.

If that is true, I find this line of thinking a little strange. I don’t think that humans spend a lot of time dwelling on sin. In fact, I would actually find it easier to believe that humans don’t believe in sin. It takes a pretty self-aware person to recognize they are doing wrong and to stop doing it. Many people know they are doing wrong but don’t stop even if there are eternal consequences.

Clearly I am not talking about things such as violence against other humans but the so called victimless crimes. Things like prostitution would fall into this category. It would seem to violate God’s law but not really human nature. The fundamental question about this whole subject is reason divine or innate? Further, if it is born into us, wouldn’t that potentially be divine as well? And yet I would argue prostitution has no quarrel with human nature.

End Your Programming Routine: We are about to go to our rewards with Dante. Fueled by his desire to reunite with Beatrice, it is driving him to get through all of that mess including walking through fire. This is almost one of those moments of faith like Moses parting the Red Sea. The next week will be the remainder of the Inferno Canto XXVII – XXIII.