If you liked the Toby Keith song and message, then you may not like what I have to say today. The topics covered pretty much stick to the topic such as Trump, Iran, justification for bombing and what that means for his legacy. I also talk about what I am doing instead of fretting about things outside of my circle of influence.
Month: June 2025
June 27, 2025 – Boundaries, Chapters 1-2
I have been a fan of the Dave Ramsey book list for many years and this book has been on my to read list for all of them. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is also recommended by me as well. Other titles like Who Moved My Cheese have a message but I find to be a bit situational.
I kind of, sort of had fantasies of reading this and having an epiphany when my wife’s parents were alive. Boundaries were a huge issue in our relationship. I left them more to my wife to deal with because I felt like I didn’t want to get in the middle of their relationship. That was probably the wrong thing to do because we each as individuals have boundaries. I am just as entitled to have my boundaries as well. What a complicated mess.
I wanted to buy copies for both of us. I thought by reading it, we would self-reflect on the lessons and things would get better. I realize now that was probably not going to happen. Part of why I held off was I was uncertain about whether the idea was insulting. I also realize that boundaries have two parties with the aggressor and the egressed.
A number one problem with people violating boundaries is not knowing (my problem) or not caring (their problem). Hence the need to study boundaries. I kind of just accepted that this was the way things were going to be without stating my wants in the situation. This is a little bit unfair to them and it certainly did not make me any happier.
This of course caused friction within the marriage as well. My wife was unhappy at the constant conflict over boundaries who then brought them to me. I would then in turn defer to her and nothing would get resolved. My stance was, if you wanted a relationship then this was the price that was to be paid. I should mention that she was very good and up front about boundaries which is why I expressed my attitude a above.
Chapter one is an anecdotal story about a woman who struggles in happiness because of being buffered about in a life without boundaries. I have kind of violated my principles by reading way ahead and so I am kind of biased about this book already. Let me warn you up front that this book is highly based on Christian principles. While I think that there is some value for everyone, it feels like throughout the book it is the ‘meek Christian’ that cannot dare to set boundaries.
I have met these people for sure and the audience is clearly intended for the faithful but to me it feels extremely stereotypical. Being paralyzed in the ‘turn the other cheek’ mentality to not be able to function in life is more rare than it would seem based on the book. There is nothing wrong with faith base counseling, in fact I think that it helps set the proper perspective and context for us faithful. But, I do think that it is wrong to come at this as a crisis of faith. That idea discounts a lot of people that probably need these words but will be turned off by the faith forward approach.
Let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater yet. Chapter two is about all the different kinds of boundaries. Some of them are not personal based but culturally based. For instance, I noticed in China the personal zone was extremely different than what I was used to. In line for the subway, people would literally press right up against others. What we would consider a tight western line would have some air right in between two people. It was one of the things that I was quite ready to leave when I came back home because it felt very suffocating.
Reading all of the different types of boundary examples did make me understand that I also had boundary violations. It wasn’t just that others transgressing on me but that I failed to express where mine were. I always felt like people should know not to do this or that but then it completely makes sense that if I do not communicate as such that this kind of thing could happen.
End Your Programming Routine: Hopefully, things get better from here. I have started out a bit negative which I do feel is warranted. But, like I said let’s give it a chance. Next week we will get a little more scientific about the subject. I will talk more about the book instead of my own situation instead.
June 26, 2025 – Finding Something New
Touring out of town visitors can sometimes be a boon for local discoveries. We took a Portland day on our recent vacation to see some of the local sights. It is not that I didn’t know about the Portland Japanese Garden, it is just that we don’t go up that often. Probably the bigger thing is that at $22 per person, it is something that you want to commit to.
One of the things that we take for granted on the west coast is our proximity to Asia, relatively speaking. What seems relatively foreign in say the Midwest is everyday normal here. Of course, I am speaking primarily of things like food and culture and not so much ‘Made in …’. Even so, I think that goods like cars were much earlier accepted here than in other areas of the country.
What binds us and Japan is multi-pronged. One of which is a very similar maritime climate. It makes the vegetation and the landscape look very familiar in both. The wood-built society resonates strongly with both and the evergreen backdrop that is carpeted with moss is our world.
What I respect about Japanese culture is the attention to detail. It seems like many things are specifically deliberate. It could be things such as tea or calligraphy or food preparation or gardens. The idea of efficiency is to make sure that everything has a purpose versus our idea of efficiency is to get more with less. It is no wonder that they invented concepts like Lean Manufacturing and total quality management.
I am not necessarily in love with everything Japanese. For instance, they have a wood working culture that is every bit as deep and respectable as the western one but I find myself always leaning more European than Asian in tooling, methods and design. I know that my thoughts are biased from a lifetime of cheap, mass produced junk rather than the respect that a true artisan can muster. When I see great execution, then I acquire a newfound respect and seeking more inspiration in far eastern techniques.
The gardens are beautiful. They were created in the 1960s as homage to our connections that I talked about above. The thing that I will say about it is don’t expect to get the full experience as intended. I found that there were just too many people running around to get into a zen state. That probably says something about my westerness as well that I am unable to fully block out distractions.
When you enter the gardens, there is a short walk up the hill into a faux, simulated village. There is a gift shop, concessions, offices and conference rooms and a small art exhibition. The gift shop was closed due to a technical, card processing glitch. The art display was pretty minimal with dyed textiles and finely cut paper stencils. Leaving the village was a bonsai display which was very cool but the volunteer could literally answer no questions about the art. I was starting to feel pretty underwhelmed at that point.
Leaving the village takes you into the garden proper. There are five distinct rooms or gardens each with their own focus on landscape, plants and features. In some ways, I feel kind of bad because a lot of what is used is native or common but just pruned to look good and fit in with the vibe. It makes me feel like this type of environment could be affordably achieved if I just put in some effort.
One time, I purchased what was labelled as a Japanese Maple at a local plant sale for $0.50 and it just kept growing and growing. Talking with a local landscaper, he told me it was actually a sweet gum tree. Now it is too big for where it is placed. I am kind of in a dilemma of whacking it extremely and trying to keep it small or taking it out completely. So much for my tip of the hat to the Asian garden.
About five years ago, I purchased a bonsai tree at a local nursery, it was some kind of elm variation. I placed it in a terrarium for my touch to our home décor as Asian in a Victorian go well together. It looked great for about a month and then it started to die. My theory was that the humidity level was whacked due to the enclosure. But, this trip has inspired me to try again. Amazon seed kits start at $25 and you get at least five different chances.
End Your Programming Routine: According to Trip Advisor, the Japanese Garden is the #9 attraction in Portland. It is beautiful and it is expensive. I would say that if you could get in relatively alone and take your time then it would be worth it. If you are in Portland for a week and looking for things to fill up the time, it is probably worth it. My bottom line is that if you cannot meet those criteria, then I probably wouldn’t go out of my way to squeeze it in. To that end, if you live relatively close to Portland and haven’t done it make time to see what it is all about because it is pretty inspirational.
June 25, 2025 – Who Doesn’t Like Orcas?
I have recently been taking a required leadership course. As these things do, a seemingly random collection of individuals are put into a small group. With these situations, it is common to have an icebreaker question that everybody would answer. In my last session, the question was ‘if you were a tour guide for visitors, what would you show them about your home territory’?
That is easy, I am already doing that. I would take them to the beach. They live 5 miles from the Mediterranean. The Oregon coast is nothing like that. While you are at the beach, besides getting wind whipped flying kites, beach combing or chartering a fishing boat, whale watching is a low barrier of entry for guests.
That was the Seattle area. We have our own whale watching culture in Oregon. We did also have a trip booked to see gray whales. If you have never seen whales or been to the ocean, I highly recommend doing it. I suppose it is our version of a safari.
I have done it a number of times. Don’t get me wrong, I was looking forward to the trip. But, I happen to know that it is not quite the serendipitous discovery to see whales. Operators report in to each other and keep track of what is out there. They pretty much know where they are before they leave the dock. I suppose that I would hate to go on a four hour boat ride and not see anything. But, it does make me feel like the boat operators kind of phone in the trip.
In today’s day and age, many of these trips are prepaid or purchased online. It is customary for a fishing guide or whale boat captain to ask for tips at the end. If you bought the trip online, many of them have a tip line included which is what we typically do. But that also leads to the malaise of the trip. I definitely do not mind tipping, but on this trip I heard the hand speak two times in the whole four hours. The point is, if you want to leave a tip, make sure to have cash on hand as you leave the boat.
If you are in Seattle, there are numerous outfits to do something like this. We of course chose to do things the hard way. We drove from south of Seattle to Anacortes. We took the ferry to Orcas Island where we met up with the tour. The whole point of that was to make sure we were providing an extensive tour of the Seattle area, including the ferry experience and the San Juan Islands. But it definitely took a toll. It was an eight hour round trip.
The last Orca trip we took was about six years ago. What I heard then was that the Orca population was in serious jeopardy following the decline in salmon population. I suppose that remains to be seen if salmon will be saved. On this trip, we were told that they were eating harbor seals. In the picture above, there was a harbor seal in the vicinity that probably didn’t make it. There was some serious circling of the five whales. I cannot confirm that they were successful, it just felt like the odds were on the whales.
It was a blue bird day in Seattle as you can see from the picture. Much of the year, this is an iffy proposition. Tours operate rain or shine. Pacific Northwesterners like to say that if you don’t do things in the rain, then you might not do them at all. I would highly recommend appropriate rain gear if you are going to go in those conditions. For all of our posturing, it is a miserable experience to be wet for hours in the rain. Likewise, it would be no fun to be in the cabin during the whole trip.
One other thing to watch for is sea sickness. If you get motion sickness in the car, you will more than likely get sea sickness. Unfortunately, my wife gets sick almost every time. It seems to disproportionately strike kids and females. She takes Dramamine with little success. If there is any silver lining, days of small craft warnings will keep the boats in the harbor. They are not going to go out in rough seas but almost anyone will get sick if it gets rough enough.
End Your Programming Routine: I highly recommend taking out of towners on a whale watching tour, especially if it is a beautiful day. We have taken exchange students from Spain, Taiwan and Japan. The sea life is different from Asia and the Mediterranean. Because the operators follow the whales all day everyday, it is almost a guarantee you will see something.
June 24, 2025 – Would You Believe That I Was In the ‘No Kings’ Protest?
I almost cannot believe it either. It is probably the last place that I ever wanted to be. I won’t lie that it was kind of interesting. Trust me, it was a necessary evil for what we were doing that day and at least everything turned out alright.
We drove up to Seattle to meet our Spanish family. They flew into Sea-Tac. As a result, we spent a couple of beautiful days in the surrounding area. Seattle is a great hidden treasure if you have not been there. It is a lot like Portland and San Francisco but kind of a better version of both (politics and nonsense aside).
We already had our tickets booked for the next day so this was the day that to go to the waterfront, Pikes Market, the Space Needle and all of the typical Seattle things to do. Unfortunately, it was also the day for the No Kings march. Doubly unfortunate was that some of that was happening right where we wanted to be.
Our first stop was what was called the Smith Tower. We had a reservation for 12pm. As we got out of the car and around the homeless passed out on the sidewalk, I also saw people carrying signs. As a result, I knew that we were going to be close. I would describe the individuals as old hippies. I am guessing that they drove in from the suburbs in their Prius, parked somewhere sensible and then walked to the assembly point.
As we were waiting for our time to go up in the tower, I observed two classes of people carrying signs. They old hippies and the yuppies. These were the rubes that this kind of event appealed to. It also told me that it was likely that this march was going to be relatively calm. I will talk about the after party later.
After the Smith tower, we walked down to the piers. That was fortunately in the opposite direction of where we saw the protestors going. My kids had 3pm tickets to the Space Needle. So after lunch, we started walking to Centennial Park. It turns out, so were the protesters. It appeared that the march ended at the park so I do not believe that it would have been possible to avoid in any capacity. We tried to skirt the march for many blocks. Ultimately, we all kind of looked at each other and I said ‘well, we are going to have to go through it or not go’. That is exactly what we did.
I didn’t want to call too much attention to myself and so I just snapped a quick picture. What you couldn’t see was that in the middle of the street but it was a young woman with a bull horn. She was yelling out chants that all the drones were repeating. She was clearly the plant in my section of the crowd because you could hear others up and down the line.
There were a lot of people on the sidewalks, probably in similar situations such as ours. Eating lunch and then a protest came by. People were on their balconies watching. It all seemed fairly benign minus the non-family friendly signs and shirts. We walked a couple of blocks until we could peel off for a straight shot to the park which was just packed with finished protesters.
The kids went off to the Space Needle and us adults went to the Chihuly Art Museum. We did our thing and nothing that I could see happened as a result of the march. As we were walking back to the pier we started running across people with shields, gas masks and full kit. Fortunately, 70,000 protesters where nothing happened.
The one thing that I cannot figure out is one of the chants started with “Down with Trump and Democrats too…” It was the only mention of political parties that I heard in the ten minutes we were in the march. I don’t know if it was actually a red herring or the fact that just like Oregon, Washington is overrun with Democrats. There cannot be any other party at fault.
End Your Programming Routine: When we drove home, there was some medical tests that needed to be done. The hardcore protesters were camped out in Portland still, days later. As luck would have it, the hospital area is ground zero for tear gas and rubber bullets because there is an ICE facility three blocks down. I guess this was something that I didn’t have to deal with last year and I sure hope that this is not a sign of things to come.
June 23, 2025 – Someone That Agrees
I listened to this the day after I recorded my podcast last week. Since I had already setup vacation I didn’t want to redo anything to get this crammed in last week. Therefore, this buys me another day to get re-oriented. The caveat is that I have not checked any of these sources but I do do feel pretty confident that this is true.
Links to source materials: https://www.thesurvivalpodcast.com/experts-3687
June 20, 2025 – In the Gravest Extreme: The Role of the Firearm in Personal Protection, Chapters 17 and Conclusion
We have come to the end of this highly regarded book. Today I am am talking about what happens after a self-defense shooting, my opinion of the book and then what is next on AltF4.co. Let’s go.
Ayoob’s advice on what to do after a shooting is in alignment with what I have heard in today’s environment. Be the first to call the police if you can. Disarm before the police show up. Give a brief, non-confrontational statement and no more. It should contain certain phrases such as “I was afraid for my life. I shot this man and I will be happy to cooperate when I receive counsel with a lawyer”. That is it.
Before the ‘Summer of Love 2020’, there was the George Zimmerman shooting of George Floyd (2012). I happen to believe that Zimmerman was trying to do the right thing but going about things very ignorantly and stupidly. I am not sure that Floyd was up to no good, but Zimmerman was playing citizen cop, poorly.
There was plenty of digital evidence that something occurred and Florida is a castle doctrine state. The fact that Zimmerman was somewhat of a nuisance 911 caller and on the phone when he pursued and ultimately shot Floyd did not play well in his favor. Fortunately for Zimmerman, he was initially not charged with negligent manslaughter.
But, for political reasons (IMHO) Zimmerman was investigated for Civil Rights violations by the Department of Justice. Remember that this was the Obama era. From the time of the shooting in February 2012 until the case was ultimately dropped by the DOJ in April 2015, there was widespread speculation into Zimmerman’s character and intent. How is your nest egg? I will remind again that there are organizations like USCCA and Citizens Legal Defense Network.
This is a book that I was excited to read. I wanted to believe that being a highly respected work by a highly respected subject matter expert it would stand the test of time. Upon reading it, I realized that there has been too much legislative and technological water under the bridge to make this book relevant today. It would take a person already versed in this topic to be able to discriminate between the good and the not so good here.
What I think is good with it is that if you live in a ‘Constitutional Carry’ state, you need to know that there is a lot more to things then just strapping on your piece. Even if you just have a gun in the home, you need to know the parameters of when lethal force is legitimate. There are proper procedures to perform after a confrontation and you have to start somewhere.
I think Ayoob is in his mid to late seventies now. Ten years ago or so, I used to occasionally listen to him on his own podcast. I am a little surprised at some of the language used in the book that I am more than sure he would not endorse today. These would be the brandishing suggestions and the more tough guy bent that he set in some cases. I suspect that a lot of that was more a result of him being a New York City police officer. Lawmen will always be held to different (looser) standards than citizens not to mention qualified immunity (again).
It can’t be helped that so much time has passed as well as technology. Since I have been around so long, I have observed Ayoob’s recommendations evolve to slim automatics to 9mm to the current one and a half stack pistols like the Sig Sauer P365. Technology changes everything with tactics. It makes things like the suburbs possible to commute to a job daily. Now, with work from home ubiquitous an employee can literally live anywhere.
The book that I am starting next week is called Boundaries by Henry Cloud. This is a book that I have been wanting to read for twenty years. It is on the Dave Ramsey recommended list and it happens to be an area that I am weak in. There is no excuse to delay things that long as I always thought that it would be useful when my wife’s parents were alive. Better late than never.
I am not committed to how to break it up yet. It will likely be two chapters a week with the last week of reading is the last three chapters. To be prepared, read chapter one and two.
End Your Programming Routine: Ayoob has a newer book called Deadly Force which is definitely on my list. The description says that it is a follow-up to this book. I suspect that we will see all the newest and better, more relevant recommendations there. It is not my next book but I will probably read it this year. In the Gravest Extreme is out of print and rightly so. I think that it’s time has come and gone.
June 17, 2025 – Vacation Break
This is a short note to say that I will be off the next three days. The Friday entry is already made for chapter 17 and my conclusion of In the Gravest Extreme. It is just time to do what matters and that is spending time with my family.
The next book is Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. I have already read a good portion of the first part. That would be six chapters. I anticipate that we will be back on schedule next week. But as always, that could change. There are some medical tests scheduled for next week.
The dirty little secret it is what has happened in preceding weeks that has caused this break. Often times, I try to cue up articles so that you wouldn’t even notice that I was gone but social obligations have had me so busy that I haven’t really had time to do the normal things that I do. So, we will break.
Until we meet again. Brandon
June 16, 2025 – A Light, Summer Platter
Alright, maybe the platter only has one kind of sandwich on it. Maybe it is an ‘S’-sandwich at that. But the idea was that I was going to have a smorgasbord of topics to cover. I guess you got ham and turkey. These are the sandwiches that are going to fill you up though. Let’s stop talking about sandwiches and give a listen.
June 13, 2025 – In the Gravest Extreme: The Role of the Firearm in Personal Protection, Chapters 15-16
Reading gunfighting tactics from a book is probably not the best idea. Don’t take my word for it, I am no consultant or trainer. I do believe that even with the best laid plans, practice is required. The problem is that most ranges do not allow holster draw. Mine specifically does but it does have to be with the intent of practicing techniques. I am not sure how you prove that but word to the wise.
The value of reading tactics comes after some training. This provides another perspective and the ability to analyze information. I do have to say that I learned something in this chapter that I never knew. Apparently, some revolvers have full length ejectors while others do not. Truthfully, I don’t know which ones I have or how to look for them, what models, etc.
The reason that I bring this up is that I was considering some classes for my wife. Nearly ever single self-defense pistol class requires a pistol (not a revolver). I don’t really have such a thing that I would consider appropriate. If it were me, I would just take what I have because that is what I might carry. The point is that I paid much more attention to the revolver information in this book whereas the vast majority of today’s concealed carrier would have a pistol.
Practice: no truer words were said. If you cannot hit anything at the range, how in the heck do you think you will defend your life properly? I have to admit that while I take a handgun nearly every range trip, I am a significantly better rifle shot. Not only are handguns harder to shoot accurately, but I practice rifle shooting most days with the air rifle. Most of my practice is offhand (no support) or left hand (weak hand) as well.
When it comes to things like shotguns and trap shooting, my kids can shoot my pants off. They shoot at least 75 targets for sixteen weeks a year whereas I might shoot 25 targets in one season (2X a year). They have significantly more experience than I ever have and it shows when we compete or shoot together. Those are two examples where practice is better than a loaded handgun in the sock drawer.
I do believe that you can read about safety from a book and it is effective. I am not going to extensively cover the rules of firearm safety. Some groups reference three rules while others say four. Neverthess, if you follow these you will always be safe.
- Treat every gun as it is loaded
- Keep your finger off of the trigger until ready to shoot.
- Verify your target and what is behind it.
Something that I think about is when others are around. I know that I am not going to do something stupid but what happens when there are other kids around? For that reason, when I am going to clean some firearms over the course of several days, I make sure that they are disassembled to the point of not being able to be used. I suppose kids smart enough could figure out how to put it back together but then they would have to know where the ammunition is, how to load it etc.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t leave stuff laying around routinely, even temporarily. But, I like to put stuff back in the safe clean. Often when I come back from the range I don’t have the time to clean up that day. I may have stuff on the bench for a few days while is am actively cleaning. Always make sure that I get my stuff put away expediently and be aware of what others may or may not know.
One last story. I know someone that was sleeping with a 9mm handgun under the pillow. One night while this person was sleeping they accidentally pulled the trigger. Fortunately, the only consequence was a hole in the wall. I have never gone out shooting (intentionally) with them but I highly suspect their judgement. Don’t do this.
End Your Programming Routine: We are approaching the end. Next week will be the last chapter and I will offer a conclusion as well. This will be unlike most books where the conclusion follows the last chapter. I felt this book was sufficiently short enough that it didn’t warrant another week. It is extremely unlikely that you would ever have to defend yourself, above everything else… be safe.
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