Month: April 2024

April 30, 2024 – My Life As a Country Song

April 30, 2024 /

No, my wife didn’t run off and my dog didn’t die. But, last week was a different kind of tough. The week before, I was dealing with the side effects of chemo and being a full time caretaker. But, we were mostly at home and sheltering in place. Last week as there was more getting out and about, it seemed like everything was going wrong.

My wife likes to say that I am ‘a glass half empty’ person. I don’t really think so. I like to think of myself as analytical and balanced. I like to see the full spectrum both good and bad. I suppose that to people who don’t like to see both sides, that is construed as negative. I fail to see how always being positive even when the odds seem low is a better trait that viewing the whole picture optimistically.

I say that because I am not complaining. I am going to get to a point by the end today. I think helpful advice is that we cannot change or dwell in the facts. My wife has cancer and we are doing what we can to combat it. All the ‘why me?’ in the world isn’t going to change a thing. It does however make life much more complicated.

This process is moving at an extremely disjointed manner. One day chemo is scheduled every other Thursday, then it is every other Friday. Take this medication before chemo, no don’t take it at all. Come in for this reason, no see this specialist. They are still doing diagnostic testing for goodness sake to determine if they are proceeding in the correct direction. Every conversation is musical chairs in who is running this process and is this information actually correct. This is the background for what I am dealing with.

Then, my son calls and says ‘my car has a problem’. He is about 45 minutes away. So, I have to drop what I am doing to go get him at 10pm. Due to a large coolant leak, I decide the best coarse of action is to have it towed home rather than risk a warped cylinder head. Imagine that I am trying to get my wife ready for an all day procedure that she is extremely nervous about while dealing with the tow truck driver at the same time because the car is locked and twenty minutes from the hospital.

The next day, my SSL certificate updates for altf4.co. Every 60 days this happens. But, it also follows with calamity. It seems like every time I go in there the user interface changes and I struggle with this process. I have come to anticipate the suck, but it does make it frustrating. This time I could not get the DNS provider to recognize my security documents. I tried and tried until I finally broke down and reached out to support. The problem was technical, I am not sure that there was anything I could do.

I was trying to setup my walkie talkies so that I could give one to my wife and I could hold onto one. This would give me some freedom to be out and about the house but still be in communication. This was the whole reason why I went through the licensing requirements that I talked about last week. One of them I couldn’t get to work. I bought new battery packs, I swapped batteries, no go. Finally, I took it apart to find some of the internal components fried.

No problem, I will break out my second set. They are not doing any good squirreled away in my emergency box for years anyway. One battery was dying, so I ordered new battery packs. Low and behold, there are a lot of aftermarket batteries that are similar but not the same on Amazon (even with the same battery model number). So, now I have two new batteries that don’t charge in my radios since I already opened them and threw away the packaging.

Last week it felt like everything was an obstacle. Everything I did had unintended consequences and nothing worked as planned. But, I want to go back to the beginning here. First, I don’t know what God has planned. I also know that I am handed scenarios that I can handle and learn from. As I am writing, things are getting better. My website is running, the batteries are cleared up, the problem is diagnosed with my son’s car and I think we have all the testing done and the path is clear on chemo.

More so than that, when things are not working right we just have to compartmentalize and be objective. Most of these things were not life altering problems. Take the problems and triage, then prioritize the work to solutions. The list might get longer before it gets shorter but we have to focus on the important things first.

End Your Programming Routine: To be truthful, I wasn’t exactly happy while all of these things were going on at the same time. But, being able to step back, it wasn’t huge problems. I suppose it is fortunate that more bad things didn’t keep happening at the same time. Mostly, step back and analyze the problems to the best of your ability. I am no electronics expert but I can see and understand burnt capacitors, Time to cut your losses and move on.

April 29, 2024 – It’s Not Where You Go…

April 29, 2024 /

Graduation is just around the corner. It certainly is in this household and I am separating the future reality from the bull. It is unfortunate that our kids spend at least 12 years in the school system just to get programmed with false information. In fact, the people that don’t take the straight path are sometimes the smartest.

April 26, 2024 – The Divine Comedy, Purgatory, Canto XVII – XIX

April 26, 2024 /

I failed to realize it last week but we are a little over halfway through the book in terms of Cantos and pages now. It is hard to break things up correctly without reading and knowing the story. Canto XIX in my book says both the fourth cornice and the ascension to the fifth. In hindsight, Canto XIX probably belongs more to the fifth than the fourth. Oh well, I am not going to talk about it much anyway.

This cornice is about a misunderstood sin, the sloth. When I was reading about this in hell, I dismissed the sloth as lazy. When we use the word today we often mean slow, lazy and often dirty or unkempt. That is probably not actually fair to the animal, it is probably more appropriate to say deliberate. But, this is not actually what Dante meant by the term.

Believe it or not, the sloth really means to see an opportunity to do good but not to act on it. So, the modern day equivalent makes me think of the John Quinones show What Would You Do? I know that this is a bit of a tough area for me. I very much tend toward the live and let live philosophy. Aside from that, I am not sure I know enough details to get involved without a direct ask. It turns out that this is defined as a sin.

Very little is actually described about cornice four. There are really no meaningful interactions. The souls here are constantly running. That is running toward those that need help. Not only are they anti-sloth by running but also atoning for their sin.

Much of the the first two Cantos discuss love, free will and sin between Dante and Virgil. This follows exactly the structure and grouping of hell. Just as a recap of what was said. Here is the following types of love. First there is natural and un-natural love. Natural is what you would think. Unnatural love has three categories within it. There is love of an object, then there is loving too little or loving too much.

The first three levels pride, envy and anger represent the first three levels as well as unnatural love of objects. Loving to little is the sloth (level 4). Loving too much is defined as greed, gluttony and lust. And there we have the definition of the layers of hell. and purgatory. Although they don’t seem to be in the same order between the two. Maybe that will reveal itself in the future.

End Your Programming Routine: Very educational. I have been ignorant to the sin of the sloth every since high school when I first read the Inferno. I am curious to how it is exactly judged because it leaves me wondering if there are some kind of test just like What Would You Do?. But then again, one of Jesus’s main messages was charity. Failing to do so might land you on Cornice four.

April 25, 2024 – Familiar is Comfort and Comfort is Best

April 25, 2024 /

For some reason, my son thinks I need more knives. He made me a cleaver for my birthday and he recently bought me an assisted opening knife while on a trip. I have never had one of those before. It is kind of a fun novelty to continuously click it open while I am sitting and staring into space.

I live in the knife capitol of the world. Gerber, Leatherman, Benchmade, Kershaw and CRKT are all headquartered here. As a result, I have some unique opportunities like the annual seconds sale at Kershaw. There are fifty dollar knives that sell for $5. Some of them are defected while others are models that just didn’t sell. It has been a number of years since I went to the sale. The truth is I can only use so many knives. I love the idea of buying a deal and getting something cool but why…? Besides that, a lot of the knives I have have been given to me. Like the two below in the picture.

These are my two newest folding knives. Both of them were given to me. The gray one is the one I was saying that my son gave to me. The old fashioned one I was awarded by the local state representative that I was helping with his trap fundraiser. When I got it, I thought, what am I going to do with this? I keep it in my office to open boxes and packaging. The truth is, it is not a locking blade and so I am leery of putting it to real, hard work.

I have often thought that I want to buy a real barbeque show piece. I can afford it and I should have a heavy-duty tactical knife for the zombie apocalypse. But then I think about how torn I am to surrender the $15 Leatherman at TSA and I think not a chance I would carry around a $400 knife to possibly lose it.

The knife that I carry 99% of the time is the same knife I bought in middle school. I like it, it is comfortable. (read more about it october-22-2020-tacticool-thursday) It is not the best steel, it is scraped to heck back on my first amateur attempts to sharpen and it doesn’t even have a pocket clip. Those were just being invented at that time in the 1980s. My brother bought one about a year later that did have a clip. But, it does lock.

I think one of the things that I do like is that it doesn’t have a clip. That makes it slim to fit in my pocket and doesn’t catch on other things when I pull it out. I would be very, very sad if I lost it (wouldn’t be the first time). This always gets me thinking about buying a replacement Everyday Carry knife. Each time I do, I find myself going back to what is familiar and comfortable.

The only knives I have lost since becoming an adult have been because they were taken from me at the airport. However, as a kid I lost track of the number of knives that I have lost. I think two Swiss Army knives, a Boy Scouts branded folder and an Opinel given to my from our French exchange student we hosted are amongst the list. Part of the reason this is true is that it is carried every day so I always know where it is.

One time I bought a very nice looking, titanium clad knife and I carried it a while. It turns out that I hated using it because the pocket clip bit into my hand while using it. Another time I bought an expensive (for the time) knife off of e-bay. When it showed up, I was in shock. It was tiny. It is also uncomfortable to use. This was about the time I was learning that I needed to see things before buying them because the dimensions provided did not translate well in my head.

End Your Programming Routine: I probably will switch over to this new knife for a while. I don’t have the same emotional attachment to it so I am less worried about whether I will lose it or ding it up doing things it wasn’t designed to do. I doubt too that this will be the last one either. But, don’t be surprised if I go back to my old faithful either.

April 24, 2023 – Getting Your GRMS License From the FCC

April 24, 2024 /

Yesterday I talked about the fact that I put myself on the radar by applying for the GMRS radio license from the FCC. Today I am going to show you how to do that. This is going to be a screenshot heavy post today because the pictures pretty much tell the story. Also note, you will have to provide your social security number and being a convicted felon will exclude you.

This is a multiple step process. You will have to login multiple times with two factor authentication in some cases. Using this link, you will need to create a new account with email and password. Use the Register segment.

Assuming that this is all new to you, then fill out the required information. It is really only an email, password, name and phone number.

Once you have completed the initial account creation, you will be kicked out and you will have to login with your username and password. There will be a two factor code sent to your e-mail that you will have to enter to proceed. Logging in with an account takes you to a different screen. You will want to ‘Register New FRN’ (Federal Registration Number). This number will be needed in the actual registration for a license.

Answer the questions as applicable.

And now you will get your FRN. It will be displayed on the screen. Save it in a safe place because you will need it for future login and management. You will now need to login using this link and using your FRN + password. After login, in the upper left corner you will want to ‘Apply for a license’. Fill out the forms.

You will get on-screen confirmation that everything is complete.

After you complete the form, you will need to go back to the second link provided and pay for the license.

Once you pay, there is nothing to do but wait. The FCC will email you with a link to a .pdf file that is your actual license. In my case, it was about a day and a half.

End Your Programming Routine: I followed some online instructions and while I got it done, I was a little confused during the process. 1) Create an Account 2) Apply for an FRN 3) Register for a license 4) Pay for the registration. Those are the base steps. Technology and steps may change, but I spent most of my time trying to navigate the process, not completing the steps. Good luck.

April 23, 2024 – On the Radar…

April 23, 2024 /

Last fall, I talked about the fact that I was planning on investigating the GMRS licensing process. I did it a couple of weeks ago. Tomorrow, I am going to give a step by step on how to do it so I will save that information and opinions about that part of the process until then.

It is no secret that cell phones have largely surpassed amateur radio with ubiquity and variability. With Bluetooth pairing and voice, text and internet everybody can communicate with everybody caravanning or in loose group settings. Where radios really shine are when the pavement ends. They are also cheap, don’t need a service plan or service infrastructure.

The tin-foil hatters would say, it is nearly unenforceable and an unnecessary government intrusion to get a license. Once you do, you are on a list forever. And to them I would say that I agree. In fact, to be in radio is to be known. I actually went looking to see why I would want to bother getting a GMRS radio license. Here were some of my reasons.

  1. Don’t go looking for trouble. I would say that nearly all people into radio are law and order oriented people. The cost of $35 for ten years and covers your entire family is a pretty low bar in the first place.
  2. I very well might want to go deeper into radio. I don’t want to become an outlaw in the community that I am seeking more information about joining. See item 1.
  3. Even my self-imposed stay in the FRS band leads me to not use the radios very much. Having gear without experience is like having food and not knowing how to cook. I am looking to remove barriers for me to using them more and getting valuable experience.

Interestingly enough, the blister pack FRS/GMRS radios that can be purchased for less than $50 and box stores have some channels that are recognized in both radio spectrums. Apparently, the reason that you don’t need a license to operate those radios is the power output is tuned down. Like many paradoxes in law and government, it is required to have a license use the GMRS frequencies but the equipment is limited to the point that it falls into an exemption that no license is required.

All of this time, I have been under the assumption that I needed a license to operate in the GMRS frequencies with the handheld walkie-talkies not realizing that the equipment itself was exempt. What else I took out of this was that you probably still shouldn’t use them because people with more powerful radios in that spectrum are expecting legal radio decorum. For example, there is a duty to announce your radio call sign when speaking.

This actually got me wondering what the point was in the first place. It turns out that the full power radios can also be purchased just as cheaply and these are the radios where you should have a license. These radios can take advantage repeaters, they have way more range and they have the capability to swap antennas as a few examples. The more powerful radios can also talk to the cheaper FRS/GMRS as well, albeit you will be limited to the capability of the less powerful radio.

I am definitely thinking about buying an upgrade because they are so cheap and now I am legal and so is anybody I hand a radio to for the situation. That being said, I think that if you are going to stay on the fringe of amateur radio, you should probably stick to the blister pack radios. You don’t want to have to use your call sign to radio out to the yard or the shop as an example. But if you are getting more interested in the subject, this is a very easy entry point.

End Your Programming Routine: I was going to wait on this until after I got my Software Defined Radio setup to do this. But given my life’s current circumstances, I can’t really afford to spend hours squirreled away on a hobby. It is the same reason I haven’t been out in the shop for months or am doing much gardening this year. Not only that, getting my radio’s working helps in those areas I am not able to be active in this year because I can use that as a tool to take a couple steps away.

April 22, 2024 – It Is Different This Time

April 22, 2024 /

Today is a darker than normal. I talk about the items that are different with my wife’s cancer battle. I cannot necessarily dwell on the wrong side of fate however for those that will go through it I think it is a unique perspective. It is a bit of a melancholic time. Hopefully that is understood and appreciated.

April 19, 2024 – The Divine Comedy, Purgatory, Canto XVI

April 19, 2024 /

This week we are at Cornice three, the wrathful. On one hand, only having one Canto to read is nice and easy. On the other hand, it is difficult because there is not that much to talk about. That is definitely the case here. There is a little description of the environment and one interaction with a basically unknown character so that is it.

Cornice three is filled with smoke. Apparently, the symbolism relates to wrath in that when a person is in rage, their judgement is clouded with the true ability to see the situation clearly. I wonder if this is the level that Dante is headed for. Clearly, he is impacted by the fear of being there or falling off of the edge.

That is is about all I have to say about it. I was looking up the definition of wrath to see if I could infer more this week than is really written. Wrathful is literally defined as full of wrath. And wrath is defined as vengeful anger or rage. Then I stumbled across something a little more interesting.

Wrath is defined as one of the seven deadly sins. Let us see if you recognize these? The remaining six are pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, and slothfulness. These were first defined by Pope Gregory I in the 6th century. This seems a lot like the circles of hell and purgatory. But what is even more interesting is that they were picked up again by St. Thomas Aquinas in the mid 13th century.

While not likely a contemporary of Dante’s (late 1200s) surely being Italian and Dante being exposed to priesthood, he was surely influenced by this work. Reading the Encyclopedia Britannica article, it mentions that the seven deadly sins are not specifically named in the bible, which I would agree. Despite not being codified, it is also true that many situations are specifically mentioned in the bible.

Pope Gregory I is credited with organizing the church into it’s medieval form. He consolidated both secular and religious power into one institution. I think that he left an indelible mark on Dante given that he will have more roles and interactions in the future. Not only has Dante bought the concept, but he also thinks pretty highly of him as well.

The same also goes with St. Thomas. Again looking around, there are books comparing and crediting the two. The one remarkable argument in this chapter is the case for free will. Without it, why would there be any need for purgatory. And if we are all predestined to our position and results in life, what would be the point of the afterworld in general?

I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. I do believe that God has a hand in our fate, but I also believe that our free will influences that. So for instance, take a fatal illness. I am not convinced that this is punishment, but I do believe that there is something to be learned or taught from it. It is the actions that people take during that time that helps push God’s will. It is up to the individual to do with that what they can. Salvation is always an waiting regardless of fate.

End Your Programming Routine: While one chapter is a quick read, it wasn’t insignificant. I stumbled upon the origin story of the structure of the Divine Comedy. If I wouldn’t have been looking for more about wrath, I don’t know if I ever would have made the connection to the church history largely because I am not Catholic. Next week it is Cantos XVII – XIX if you are following along.

April 18, 2024 – Your Life, Or Your Rights

April 18, 2024 /

It is no secret that I am not a stranger at the hospital. Every since I can remember, there has been a sign on all doors saying the usual things. No Smoking on campus, Service animals only and no weapons allowed. Of course, I took this to mean bad guys should not bring weapons or cause violence inside the hospital.

It should be common knowledge my stance on things. I believe in self-reliance. The police are there to take a report and find out or bring to justice after the fact. Gun free zones are no fight back zones. When someone juiced up or pissed off comes to the hospital with a rifle, they will have their way. None of this makes me any bit safer, in fact I feel less safe being completely disarmed.

A lot of gun people like to talk a tough game. ‘I’m just not going to go to some place where I have to be disarmed. I am going to take my business elsewhere.’ I do agree with that sentiment to a point. I am going to support businesses that reflect my values. However, my wife’s oncologist is within the walls of the hospital. I am not there by choice several times a week. One of my values is to stay alive.

Entering the hospital is almost like going through the airport. The metal detectors are pretty sensitive and they have a screen that shows the approximate location of whatever it detects. The problem is that almost every single person sets it off. That means a wanding, pat down and bag search. If I am trying work at the same time, I have a whole bag items that set off the metal detector.

It does no good to opine that times have changed. I have been carrying a pocket knife since middle school. It wasn’t allowed their either, but I learned that if I just kept my mouth shut and used it with appropriate discretion that it wouldn’t be a problem. I have lost track of the number of times my knife set off the screeners at the airport because it is second nature to have it with me.

I think that probably the most insulting part of the process is that when I have had my bag gone through, it is a very high level look. Not every zipper was opened and they didn’t get to the bottom of my bag. The reality is that this isn’t even an allusion of safety. I get hassled, people are having to wait on me all so that if I really wanted bring something like a weapon in, I just have to put it at the bottom of my backpack.

What is there to really learn here? Well, not that much. If you are not a frequent hospital visitor or you haven’t been since before August of last year, you are in for a rude surprise. We don’t really have much of a choice of doctors or hospitals either. Be prepared to lose control of your life in more ways than just your sickness.

End Your Programming Routine: I think that my gripe with the situation is clearly documented. The only thing I can really do is comply and hope that nothing bad happens. I acknowledge that the risk of something happening is very, very small but I sure feel naked without my pocket knife. In some ways, it makes me feel juvenile or even criminal. All in the name of safety.

April 17, 2024 – The Purer Game

April 17, 2024 /

This is old news by now. But, given the success of the OSU Beavers women’s basketball team I have been watching more women’s college basketball. Honestly, I think that I like it more than men’s basketball.

Photo by USA Today.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not encouraging or looking the other way about bad behavior. I think that basketball players at all levels are the worst. It is no secret that the Trailblazers nickname a few years ago was the ‘Jailblazers’. There are plenty of thugs in football too but I guess what drives me crazy is the selective calling of fouls and violations in basketball. NCAA is much, much better than the NBA but I am finding that I like women’s basketball because it is purer.

I see more teamwork and fundamentals. Maybe it is the differences in the sexes, but I also see less athleticism or may it is ego. Few can dunk or make ridiculous power moves to the basket all the while travelling, fouling and getting fouled. This encourages passing and leverages matchups and strategy. Honestly, I have seen more blocked shots in women’s basketball too.

The Beaver’s well outperformed their expectations, I knew were going to meet their match at some point. They lost all three games to USC (including the Pac-12 tournament) and both games to Stanford. So, when they drew undefeated South Carolina I figured there run would come to an end. And it did. Make no mistake, all of the media hype has been on LSU (the defending champions) and the Iowa Hawkeyes with the record setting guard while USC (So. Car.) just kept winning.

Watching the finals, I knew that the game was over when South Carolina was leading by nine with about two minutes left. The ball was inbound to Caitlin Clark and she took the ball all the way down and attempted a failed shot without anyone else touching that ball. I know that this is counter to what I am generally saying but this is the type of play that is so pervasive in men’s basketball. There is no doubt that she is one of the best players in the game today and there is no doubt that she was a key factor on the team, but instead of playing a winning strategy one player tried to win the game despite the odds.

I also do not doubt that women’s basketball is really the haves and have nots. South Carolina was undefeated until they lost in the final four last year and they were undefeated this entire season. That is one loss in two whole seasons or over seventy games. I think back the the dominance of UConn in the 2010s or Tennessee in the 1990s.

End Your Programming Routine: I used to be a big basketball fan. Now, I can hardly stand it between the ego, sloppy play and unequal rule enforcement. Did you see the score of the last NBA all star game (211-186)? Watching women’s basketball has renewed my interest in the game. Now the season is over, I probably won’t watch much more than the tournament next year, but I enjoyed it.